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Colegio Cervantes shooting
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This person has Assburgers Syndrome, so you can't say anything bad! :-( Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck. |
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Colegio Cervantes shooting is yet another mediocre mass shooting article. You can help by not writing articles on every boring edgelord that goes postal and reminding the author they aren't AlGore. |
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WARNING:
With Spics,
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| José Ángel Ramos Betts | |
| Born | April 8, 2008 |
| Died | January 10, 2020 (aged 11) |
| Nationality: | Mexican 
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| Highscore | Killed 1, injured 6 |
| Top 50? | FUCK NO |
| Style | FPS, Single player |
| An Hero? | Yep |
| Motive | Columbiner |
On the beautiful morning of January 10, 2020, just mere weeks before Corona-chan would dominate us all, our youngest challenger yet would go on to perpetrate a mass shooting, and despite fragging only 1, caused massive lulz in Mexico. This challenger was José Ángel Ramos Betts
, a shameless ripoff too retarded to do anything but play Fortnite and frag a singular teacher. Distracting from all the brutal cartel murders, it was a nice change of pace, occuring in the town of Torrèon, at a secondary school - Colegio Cervantes.
A boy of many faces (and problems)
On April 8 of 2008, in the shitty town of Torreón, Mexico, regrettably for everyone, José Ángel Ramos Betts was born. While being born in a town of the desierto, in Mexico, immediately gives you a justification for committing mass murderings via cartel. So, this kiddo took a different route: Why did this kid sperg out? Some people say it's le vidya, the scapegoatism of scapegoats. Some people say it's his narco family, because apart of being inspired in Cockumbine, he was in the middle of the narco shootings and wanted to recreated them, and last but not least, some people say it’s autism (it’s always the fucking autism.) However, some factors of concern:
- He played Fortnite extensively all day. Fortnite is a game were kids, normally from the age of José play all day long.
- His mom epicly an heroine'd for the Lulz and to avoid his retardiness.
- His father was always absent so he had to stay with his uncle.
- His grandmother was murdered, maybe by the cartel.
Not much is known about José, but his father, in true and honest Mexicano fashion, was arrested for drug trafficking. This was the foundation of the Reyes family fortune. Until their retarded, Fortnite addicted and bastard child showed up to his school for the amoklauf. Then they got arrested, LOL.[1] This brat was very fond of Eric Harris, one of the LOLumbine shooters, even scribbling the words “NATURAL SELECTION” on his shirt with what were probably black crayola markers.[2].
The shooting
Loadout
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| Item | Accessories/Bonus |
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¡Hoy es el día!
At exactly 8AM on January 10, 2020, our challenger asked his teacher for permission to pee-pee, and she let him go. Little did she know this manlet would fuck her life up permanently. Since he's slow in everything, not just intelligence, he spent too much time larping as Eric Harris and loading his guns, and the teacher went to look for him. However, he finished reloading JUST IN TIME to start shooting, saying: "Today is the day". Injuring her badly (couldn't even finish her off) he went to a nearby classroom and just started to SHOOT FUCKING EVERYTHING, injuring 5 classmates and his P.E teacher. Afterwards he was walking in the hallway, about to an hero, when his English teacher came up to him and kneeled, begging him to stop. But José, a 11-year-old kiddo, was already mad that he couldn't kill anyone cause he was a dipshit, so he epicly put the gun in her mouth and killed her. After that, he shot himself in the eye to end his own pathetic life and to meet his idols in heaven.
And thus ended the life of José: born in a troubled family, died alone.
Reactions
Mexican President Andrés Manuel López Obrador loved the event and said this in regards: "LET'S FUCKING GO THIS IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN THAT SHITTY FEDERICO ELIZONDO YAY" His wife didn't agree and mourned the shooting, lamenting the fact that parents don't check kid's backpacks. The Governor of Coahuila Miguel Ángel Riquelme Solís liked it secretly, and in regards to him being a Columbine copycat, said this: "lol natural selection hehehe". And now children in Mexico have to get their backpacks checked, so no more doing crystal meth on the playgrounds.
Graded Score
| Kill count: | 1/20 1 frag |
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| Accuracy: | 0/20 Could only kill someone kneeling in front of him |
| Style: | 4/20 Cockumbine copycat and narco family |
| Butthurt: | 5/20 Lulz in Mexico but that's it |
| Bonus: | 2/20 Killed a cock-sucking teacher |
Wanted Level:
Police Force
See Also
- High Score/Loserinfo, where he deserves his article.
- Jose Reyes, another edgelord named alike. Did it shittier than Ramos.
- Kosta Kecmanovic, another kiddo who got a decent high score, better than Ramos.
External Links
| Colegio Cervantes shooting is part of a series on Dying Alone
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Colegio Cervantes shooting |
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