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Chespirito
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Chespirito looks like it was written by pseudo-intellectual 13-year-old boys. Look out for unfunny Uncyclopedia bullshit, boring in-jokes, and angsty teen-ery. You could also add in actual humor.
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WARNING:
With Spics,
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| El Chavo del 8 | |
| Nationality: | Mexicunt 
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| Born | February 21, 1929 |
| Died | November 28, 2014 |
| Years Active | 1929-2014 |
El Chavo del Ocho, a shortened name for "Chespirito," is the most successful anti-imperialist offensive of the Latin American revolutionary process of the 1970s. It stars its eponymous title character, played by super-comedian and super-comrade El Chespirito. Its expansion successfully took place throughout all regions of oppressed America, overcoming the manipulations and machinations of "la perra" (the bitch). It narrates the tortuous but productive path of the proletarian in his rebellion against oppressive authority and his constant struggle to achieve class equality through armed struggle and transformative reaction against the established order, through bricks to the head and balls to the face.
History
Chespirito was born in a barrel lost in a neighborhood. He is, in fact, the witch of '71's miscarriage. It is rumored that she found adulterated and watered-down tequila there, a practice never seen in Mexico. Because of this, poor Chespirito suffered from severe hallucinations. Something that was never told to the public is that Chespirito was addicted to ham sandwiches and active ingredients dosed in burlap in the form of a monkey; he earned his living cleaning cars, and due to this poor diet, he became a dwarf, although this did not hinder his future career.
As a child, his mother abandoned him, and he ended up living in the barrel, although he maintains that he actually lived in apartment 8 of the neighborhood. This is now a rumor, as numerous empirical evidence has been found showing that he spent his childhood in the barrel, from which mysterious gases emanated.
He suffered a lot of hunger during his childhood, so he satisfied it by consuming an incredible amount of narcotics and psychotropic drugs. When this couldn't continue, a soul of God gave him a ham sandwich, to which he also became addicted.
He wasn't a lonely child. One day, he met Chabelo (an even more long-lived creature than Chespirito, originally from the planet Mars) and let him have it, because the truth is, that disgusting Chabelo is a pedophile, sleeps with all the hostesses, the favorite character of children from 31 Minutes, the friend of all children, who sold him a ham sandwich for a bunch of imaginary beings. Thus, he surrounded himself with many amorphous people, among them the manly Ron Damón, whom he considered his father. But this wasn't enough for the young Chespirito, so suddenly a certain Quico, who was half-gay, appeared before him. He was considered his best friend until he betrayed him by changing his name and registering it. He also met a little girl named La Chilindrina, who would betray him years later. In short, the only person who trusted him was Doña Florinda, with whom he had an Oedipal relationship and with whom he lost his virginity.
depression
As all his friends betrayed him time and time again, Chespirito rotted inside. He had no choice but to be seduced by the dark side of the Force. He gladly accepted the offer of these malevolent beings. Soon his appearance began to change, and he was no longer the tender boy who wore clothes that didn't fit him; he was now a man in dark clothes who called himself El Chómpiras.
El Chómpiras was quite inept as a thief (he lived as a guest in the home of his friend, Gordonfredo Botija, and his wife, La Chimoltrufia or María de la Expropriación Petronila Lascurain y Torquemada de Botija), and the truth is that he only wanted to rob the "Doña Chonita" inns to obtain more and more ham sandwiches. When he did this, the global economy would weaken to such an extent that there would be no more ham sandwiches. Famine would take over humanity as we know it, and he could rule the world.
During these years, Chespirito went through several stages. After his plan to dominate the world failed, he went mad and called himself Chaparrón Bonaparte. He was admitted to the mental asylum, where he met his friend Lucas Tañeda, a relative of his childhood teacher.
El Chavo del 8 and El Chapulín Colorado
Once he fully recovered from his insanity, he decided to be good. Unsure of what outfit to wear, he found himself in a difficult dilemma until his old friend Quico took him to a gay pride parade. Stunned by the sheer number of colors, he decided to create a unique and tremendously masculine outfit to terrify any villain.
In no time, El Chapulín Colorado (a parody of Bumblebee Man from The Simpsons) was born, a communist hero armed with a weapon of mass destruction: the squeaky chipote, capable of destroying any human being. You definitely couldn't take a hit from the squeaky chipote. El Chapulín's demise came when, while fighting his enemies, he became addicted to amphetamines and chiquitolina pills. It is rumored that while his body grew, his lower body didn't. Although only Florinda Meza and Chabelo can corroborate this.
Chavo del 8
The barrel where El Chavo hides is a symbol of the struggle's origins from the heart of the people, of the purely popular intention of the proletarian revolution that, by destroying the capitalist bourgeois state, will establish the dictatorship of the proletariat and the abolition of wage labor. La Vecindad is made up of three fronts of struggle: the main courtyard (with the barrel), the other courtyard (with a fountain commemorating the first great battle between El Chavo and Professor Jirafales), and the street, where there is only a fresh water stand and a wall, but where El Chavo also imparts his doctrine of workers' emancipation to passersby.
Street Chaves
Street Chaves, also known as Street Chavo or Chavo Fighter, is a Brazilian fangame made with bread change and featuring horrible sprites (actually, they're like badly glued screenshots from the TV series) based on El Chavo del Ocho but conceived as a fighting game. Despite featuring all the characters from Vecindad, they all fight like characters from Street Fighter and The King of Fighters, with stages, music, and even dialogue taken from the series (in Portuguese, of course, since the game was made by some sopa do macaco). It sounds like a crappy game, but it's actually a lot of fun, and over the years it's become a cult favorite among El Chavo fans and fans of trashy PC games from the 2000s. It's simply a fan-made El Chavo del Ocho fighting game. To make it faster, instead of creating distinctive moves for each character, all they did was add moves from other fighting game characters (mostly from Street Fighter and The King of Fighters) to all the characters in the Vecindad. They even blatantly copied their specials, effects, and even the voices of the characters they plagiarize, leaving only the original voices (in Portuguese, of course) at the end of each fight.
Even though the game was made in Brazil and is spoken there, there are fans who have patched it into Spanish and even English, but they leave the game in a mess. They create a glitch that makes all the game's music (songs from the Chavo characters that appear in the series) all play together, sounding ridiculously good. That's why we recommend playing the original. Of course, because El Chavo del Ocho doesn't have a story of its own other than the jokes that occur in each episode. It's about the creation of this game and why it became so famous, obviously. But first, let's start with a little history. Although this show is Mexican, its success spread throughout Latin America, but strangely enough, also in Brazil, where it was not only translated, but also the names of many of the characters were changed, sometimes by the pronunciation of the "sopa do macaco" (monkey soup), and in others, they even changed their names, like Seu Madruga (Mother of the Monkey) or Chaves himself.
The fact is that in this Brazilian country, they're also video game fans, to the point of being the fathers of Latin American piracy and emulation back in the 80s and 90s, with cases where, for example, the Sega Master System released games well into the 2010s. Among them, a Brazilian who knew programming and was also a fan of Chaves (no, not that one) wanted to make a video game using his own programming (not M.U.G.E.N. or some other cheap game engine) and took the time to build the game from scratch with his own mechanics. So, being a fan of Chavo, he used screenshots from each episode of the story to create the "sprites" (they look more like animated kindergarten cutouts) so he could have his favorite characters from the Neighborhood fight.
What's missing the least here are characters, here are some of the most iconic in the series... and several extras that I have no fucking idea why they appear here too, each one with info about the game, who they have as rivals and which character they plagiarize, so you know who to play with (if you end up playing this shit).
DEAD
As he grew older, Chespirito grew tired of being a superhero, so he sought out a secret identity and found one, posing as a doctor. He took the name Chapatín, and worked in this capacity, accompanied by a nurse who reminded him of Doña Floronga. He also confirmed that while everyone else was leaving after filming, he would get into the barrel and suck Carlos Villagran's (Quico) horn.
He is now living in a secret location with his wife, Floronga Meza, who bears an uncanny resemblance to his eternal companions: Doña Floronga and La Chimoltrufia. It is unknown how Floronga (who was very hot, by the way) was able to notice the fat asshole Chespirito, although more reliable sources indicate that she wasn't really with him because she loved him 100% like she loved Villagran, but rather because of the money she could make by turning him into a Televisa franchise.
Floronga Meza is the old whore who makes the decisions and controls the life of the dying, elderly Chespirito, Chespirito's representative, whose life Carrera has managed since they married.
She has bought into her Chapatín persona, which is why she gives medical consultations at Dr. Simi's pharmacies without charging a single cent. It is said that in the bag she always carries, she carries a small bottle of solvent to remind herself of her old days. Recently in Mexico, Chespirito's senile dementia forced him to reveal his dark past, in his own words: "When I was in my mamacita chula's womb, she suffered an accident that brought her to the brink of death. The doctor told her: you'll have to have an abortion, and she replied, 'Of course, doctor. Besides, this child is an unwanted child, the product of a drunken night...'" But my mother didn't count on my cunning, as I quickly left her womb and murdered the doctor in cold blood, to protect life... My life." His statements had huge repercussions around the world: the stock market fell 23 points, the planet's temperature rose 2°C, and a large number of pro-life activists took to the streets all over the world braying and shouting, "Abort the law, not life!", just as Chespirito obliged them and kindly asked.
It is said that he will die on February 29, 2156, although that date is incorrect, as he actually died on November 28, 2014. That latter date was actually due to his mortal body composed of carbon and hydrogen, which, after cremation, was reduced to a milligram of ashes contained in a pill similar to his Chiquitolina pills. His essence has now been converted into a vampirized immortal body, according to one of the news reports.
For more information, please read one of the news reports, which will better explain the reason for this.
See Also
- Television
- Mexico
- Brazil
- Juan Luis Lagunas Rosales
- Jose Angel Ramos Betts
- Federico Guevara Elizondo
- Gabriel Alejandro Galaviz
| Chespirito is part of a series on Dying Alone
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