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Colossal Biosciences: Difference between revisions
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{{Spoilers|Everyone realized their new "[[fraud|Dire wolves]]" aren't even the same genus as the original and everyone [[doing it right|left these conniving kikes in the dust]]}} | |||
'''Colossal Biosciences'''{{Jew}} is a hilarious scam done by allegedly smart college midwits to fool the uneducated masses. [[Jesus]] gave them admin powers in 2021 so [[Covid]] would get [[B&]]. Being Jews, the founders of the company, '''Ben Lamm'''{{Jew}} and '''[[Ben Shapiro|Beth Shapiro]]'''{{Jew}}, completely betrayed their holy, pure lord (which is a Jewish tradition) and started unbanning a bunch of Extinct animals and sending invites to random shit like Wooly mice, and unbanning the [[Game of Thrones|Dire Wolf]]. | '''Colossal Biosciences'''{{Jew}} is a hilarious scam done by allegedly smart college midwits to fool the uneducated masses. [[Jesus]] gave them admin powers in 2021 so [[Covid]] would get [[B&]]. Being Jews, the founders of the company, '''Ben Lamm'''{{Jew}} and '''[[Ben Shapiro|Beth Shapiro]]'''{{Jew}}, completely betrayed their holy, pure lord (which is a Jewish tradition) and started unbanning a bunch of Extinct animals and sending invites to random shit like Wooly mice, and unbanning the [[Game of Thrones|Dire Wolf]]. | ||
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=== Wooly mice === | === Wooly mice === | ||
In early 2025, these fucking Jews edited 7 genes in mice to give them more tolerance to colder climates and [[tranny|longer hair]]. When they were revealed to the public, lots of people thought it was cute, and even wanted to have them as pets, but of course everyone forgot these tranny mice would become invasive in colder, urban regions (think Oslo, | In early 2025, these fucking Jews edited 7 genes in mice to give them more tolerance to colder climates and [[tranny|longer hair]]. When they were revealed to the public, lots of people thought it was cute, and even wanted to have them as pets, but of course everyone forgot these tranny mice would become invasive in colder, urban regions (think Oslo, St. Petersburg, Anchorage). | ||
[[File:Genderdysphoriamouse.png|thumb|[[Troon|Ooh, free chee- Ack!]]]] | |||
=== Dire Wolf (Aenocyon Dirus) === | === Dire Wolf (Aenocyon Dirus) === | ||
{{Spics}} | {{Spics}} | ||
The company "revived" their first animal, the Dire Wolf, by taking a 72,000 year skull and a 13,000 year old tooth from real dire wolves, spliced the [[DNA]], and fused the new genes with an embryo of the Dire Wolf's closest living relative, the [[Beaner]] (scientific name: Aenocyon Cleaninglady) . They inserted the new Dire Wolf genes into the embryo, adding certain traits unique to the Dire wolf, such as fluffier, more pleasant fur, larger size, and the Dire Wolf's [[Quicksand Fetish|tar fetish]], since like the closely related spic, Dire Wolves were so hypersexual, they would walk into tar pits, [[sick fuck|fuck them]] and get stuck, causing slow, painful [[pwnage]]. They also removed genetic traits unique to the Spic, such as [[acne]], adultery, desires to act like [[niggers]], and intense lust for [[crack]] and [[fentanyl]]. 2 female Beaner specimens were used, lured into the facility with tacos and welfare checks, before the scientists [[raped]] the beaners with the complete embryos. However, all but 3 of the specimens became [[an hero]] after they realized they were inside the most toxic, biohazardous place in the known universe: the inside of a spic. However, after 62 days, the pups escaped the ugly, retarded Latinas and were successfully born on October 1, 2024 (males) and January 30, 2025 (female). Despite [[Old Media]] hype, these Dire Wolves are not actually true Dire wolves, but are actually hybrids between Spics and the extinct wolf, and still count as Aenocyon Cleaninglady. Despite being more spic than Dire Wolf, there have been notable differences between them and a regular spic. For example, even though these wolves still exhibit many traits of the spic (like being covered in grease, having no talents outside of being cleaning lady, worshipping Quetzalcōātl, and living off government welfare), Still, notable changes have been seen, such as receiving sexual pleasure from tar pits rather than [[typical|raping innocent white people like Laken Riley]], not being [[crackhead|crackheads]], and having just some sense of shame. The wolves are named | The company "revived" their first animal, the Dire Wolf, by taking a 72,000 year skull and a 13,000 year old tooth from real dire wolves, spliced the [[DNA]], and fused the new genes with an embryo of the Dire Wolf's closest living relative, the [[Beaner]] (scientific name: Aenocyon Cleaninglady) . They inserted the new Dire Wolf genes into the embryo, adding certain traits unique to the Dire wolf, such as fluffier, more pleasant fur, larger size, and the Dire Wolf's [[Quicksand Fetish|tar fetish]], since like the closely related spic, Dire Wolves were so hypersexual, they would walk into tar pits, [[sick fuck|fuck them]] and get stuck, causing slow, painful [[pwnage]]. They also removed genetic traits unique to the Spic, such as [[acne]], adultery, desires to act like [[niggers]], and intense lust for [[crack]] and [[fentanyl]]. 2 female Beaner specimens were used, lured into the facility with tacos and welfare checks, before the scientists [[raped]] the beaners with the complete embryos. However, all but 3 of the specimens became [[an hero]] after they realized they were inside the most toxic, biohazardous place in the known universe: the inside of a spic. However, after 62 days, the pups escaped the ugly, retarded Latinas and were successfully born on October 1, 2024 (males) and January 30, 2025 (female). Despite [[Old Media]] hype, these Dire Wolves are not actually true Dire wolves, but are actually hybrids between Spics and the extinct wolf, and still count as Aenocyon Cleaninglady. Despite being more spic than Dire Wolf, there have been notable differences between them and a regular spic. For example, even though these wolves still exhibit many traits of the spic (like being covered in grease, having no talents outside of being cleaning lady, worshipping Quetzalcōātl, and living off government welfare), Still, notable changes have been seen, such as receiving sexual pleasure from tar pits rather than [[typical|raping innocent white people like Laken Riley]], not being [[crackhead|crackheads]], and having just some sense of shame. The wolves are named ''[[Faggot|Romulus]]'', ''[[Redneck|Remus]]'' and ''[[Sandnigger|Khaleesi]]''. They are kept in a 2000 acre gestation facility where they're free to run around, be [[retarded]], suck on the supreme cock of the aforementioned Quetzalcōātl, practice [[Great Replacement|making white people a minority in their own countries]], and collect free gibs from the government | ||
[[File:Wolvescrying.png| | [[File:Wolvescrying.png|330px|thumb|crying because they were inside of a female wetback for over 60 days]]. | ||
== future projects == | == future projects == | ||
Revision as of 03:49, 18 April 2025
|
WARNING: With Jews, you lose! |
Colossal Biosciences✡ is a hilarious scam done by allegedly smart college midwits to fool the uneducated masses. Jesus gave them admin powers in 2021 so Covid would get B&. Being Jews, the founders of the company, Ben Lamm✡ and Beth Shapiro✡, completely betrayed their holy, pure lord (which is a Jewish tradition) and started unbanning a bunch of Extinct animals and sending invites to random shit like Wooly mice, and unbanning the Dire Wolf.
Backstory
Colossal began in Dallas, Texas in September 13, 2021, when a bunch of kikes poured in $15 million. They made several advancements in Biotechnology software and used that as profit (as well as getting funding from a bunch of other billionaires✡). In January 2025, they became worth $10.2 billion without selling a single product or service.
Projects
Wooly mice
In early 2025, these fucking Jews edited 7 genes in mice to give them more tolerance to colder climates and longer hair. When they were revealed to the public, lots of people thought it was cute, and even wanted to have them as pets, but of course everyone forgot these tranny mice would become invasive in colder, urban regions (think Oslo, St. Petersburg, Anchorage).
Dire Wolf (Aenocyon Dirus)
|
|
WARNING:
With Spics,
|
The company "revived" their first animal, the Dire Wolf, by taking a 72,000 year skull and a 13,000 year old tooth from real dire wolves, spliced the DNA, and fused the new genes with an embryo of the Dire Wolf's closest living relative, the Beaner (scientific name: Aenocyon Cleaninglady) . They inserted the new Dire Wolf genes into the embryo, adding certain traits unique to the Dire wolf, such as fluffier, more pleasant fur, larger size, and the Dire Wolf's tar fetish, since like the closely related spic, Dire Wolves were so hypersexual, they would walk into tar pits, fuck them and get stuck, causing slow, painful pwnage. They also removed genetic traits unique to the Spic, such as acne, adultery, desires to act like niggers, and intense lust for crack and fentanyl. 2 female Beaner specimens were used, lured into the facility with tacos and welfare checks, before the scientists raped the beaners with the complete embryos. However, all but 3 of the specimens became an hero after they realized they were inside the most toxic, biohazardous place in the known universe: the inside of a spic. However, after 62 days, the pups escaped the ugly, retarded Latinas and were successfully born on October 1, 2024 (males) and January 30, 2025 (female). Despite Old Media hype, these Dire Wolves are not actually true Dire wolves, but are actually hybrids between Spics and the extinct wolf, and still count as Aenocyon Cleaninglady. Despite being more spic than Dire Wolf, there have been notable differences between them and a regular spic. For example, even though these wolves still exhibit many traits of the spic (like being covered in grease, having no talents outside of being cleaning lady, worshipping Quetzalcōātl, and living off government welfare), Still, notable changes have been seen, such as receiving sexual pleasure from tar pits rather than raping innocent white people like Laken Riley, not being crackheads, and having just some sense of shame. The wolves are named Romulus, Remus and Khaleesi. They are kept in a 2000 acre gestation facility where they're free to run around, be retarded, suck on the supreme cock of the aforementioned Quetzalcōātl, practice making white people a minority in their own countries, and collect free gibs from the government
.
future projects
Plans include bringing back the following species
- the wooly mammoth, using elephants as a surrogate
- the Sabertooth, via modifying the Cougar with genes borrowed from the Gook to recreate the uncannily large front teeth the Sabertooth had
- that one retarded sloth from the Ice age movie. notice a pattern?
Practical use
See also
| Colossal Biosciences is part of a series on Bad things that happen to animals 
|
Basic Concepts [+] Animal Abuse • Bestiality • Furry • Hunting • Taxidermy
Badgers • Bats • Bears • Bees • Birds • Bunnies • California Pet Laws 1/1/19 • Cats • Chickens • Chihuahuas • Cows • Crabs • Crows • Dinosaurs • Dogs • Ducks • Eagles • Fish • Foxes • Frogs • Giant Isopods • Octopuses • Pandas • Parakeets • Parrots • Penguins • Pigs • Rats • Sharks • Sheep • Snakes • Spiders • Turtles • Walruse • Wolves |
|---|---|
Victims [+] Adrian Pomorski • Arrow Cats • Bincat • Bonsai Kitten • Chase 'No Face' • Chevy the Therapy Dog • Harambe • Internet Mascot Heaven • Japanese Bug Fights • Koda The Dog • Monkids • "Mudkips" the cat • Mutant Cats • NEDM • Omarosa • Orvillecopter • Painted Cats • Pebbles the Emotional-Support Hamster • Scared Monkey • Sombra The Drug Sniffing Dog • Staredog • Subservient Chicken • Zippocat | |
Opposing Concepts and Causes [+] | |
BestiLOLity in Action [+] Alyssa Rosales • Bubblegum Husky • Charles-wolfman • Chibiabos • Cory Williamson • Crusadercat • Dalavesta • Dalhusky • Darkhorseman • Dracoguard • Ebon Lupus • Esachasa • Joel Monaghan • Jonathan Niehaus • John Sakars • Kero The Wolf • Marry Your Pet • Mr. Hands • Neuticles.com • Poeticirony • Sarah Butts • ShadoWolffess • Skylos • Snover • Steven Bonnell II • The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch • Tigersclaw • Whitney Wisconsin • WolfJLupus • Zetaforum • | |
Why We Don't Have Nice Things [+] Alisa Kuzmenko • Belen Aldecosea • Camrose Cat Killers • Cheyenne Cherry • City glitter • David Motari • Duck Dynasty • Igor Suprunyuck • Isabella Loretta Janke • Kenny Glenn • Kimberleigh Ann Keister • LinktheWolf • Lowti3rgod • Luka Magnotta • Marvin Morvan and Alex Teniola • Melissa Bachman • Monkey Hate • Nikki Joly • Peluchin Entertainment • Michael Vick, a.k.a. Ron Mexico • Randi Harper • Sasuke • Steve Stephens • Tinkebell • Tyler Weinman • Wang Jeu • Zeriara • |
|
Colossal Biosciences is part of a series on Visit the Trolls Portal for complete coverage. |