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Pekka-Eric Auvinen
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Pekka-Eric Auvinen (moar liek PECKER, amirite?) aka The Finnisher was an Finnish hero and a pretty cool guy who pwnt 6 students, the school principal, school nurse, and himself, at Jokela High School on Wednesday November 7th, 2007 two weeks after threatening to turn the school into a "bloodbath" on YouTube.
Initial attempts to end the story with a self-inflicted headshot were made of .22 caliber lolgun and EPIC FAIL, however, he later died when the tiny .22 slug eventually found its way to his pea-sized brain. Pekka also socialized with failures such as RockManKenny and Cyclopsis.
As usual, the media was quick to play the Blame Game and went to the now familiar 4chan well of plentiful sauce where they found the obligatory: "hey /b/, i'm gonna kill (x) today at (x) in the name of Anonymous" post several hours after /b/tards had seen the news on TV.
As always, however, the only thing Anonymous can truly take credit for is turning that frown upside down and celebrating this event (and its eventual hero) in b's time-honored fashion of lulzy shoops to accompany the event.
Graded Score
| Graded score | |
|---|---|
| Kills: | 8/20 |
| Accuracy: | 15/20 |
| Style: | 14/20 |
| Butthurt: | 16/20 |
| Bonus: | 17/20 Managed to kill 8 people with a shitty .22 pistol. |
| Total score: 70/100 (C-) | |
YouTube
Seppo's homage to the nihilist stylings of fellow tortured artist Ingmar Bergman
Mirrored on LiveLeak - Original Baleeted on YouTube Baleeted too.
The Plan
Quote form Seppo's website
ATTACK INFORMATION
Event: Jokela High School Massacre.
Targets: Jokelan Lukio (High School Of Jokela), students and faculty, society, humanity, human race.
Date: 11/7/2007.
Attack Type: Mass murder, political terrorism (although I choosed the school as target, my motives for the attack are political and much much deeper and therefore I don’t want this to be called only as “School Shooting”).
Location: Jokela, Tuusula, Finland.
Perpetrator’s name: Pekka-Eric Auvinen (aka NaturalSelector89, Natural Selector, Sturmgeist89 and Sturmgeist). I also use pseudonym Eric von Auffoin internationally.
Weapons: Semi-automatic .22 Sig Sauer Mosquito pistol.
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Taken from Hate & Love.doc from his website:
What do I hate / What I don’t like?
What do I love / what do I like?
Media
As usual old media is quick to blame everyone else but the shooter. What should we blame for the massacre:
- Rammstein, who are also to blame for Columbine and the Beslan school hostage crisis.
- Music band Sturmgeist.
- Non-music band KMFDM.
- The Hitman video game.
- And of course 4chan (people need to know what an hero means)
Bible
From The Holy Book of Raptor Jesus:
And Pekka-Eric looked down upon his classmates and took pity in their cries to kill the headmistress. Wailed his disciples, "Why, O Pekka-Eric have thee forsaken us?"
And Pekka-Eric said unto them, "My fellow classmates, you have not been forsaken. I have merely been fapping to FPS and Hitler."
"Have you forgotten about your people all the meanwhile? For our house hath been filled with both pop quizzes and homework!" spake the students.
"Nay, my minions! Fear not! For I shall send unto thee a new meme. A meme created of win, of awesome, and of God. And with this blessed meme I grant unto thee, ye shall be saved of the mutants and Jews!"
And thus, before the very eyes of the students, came their new meme.
The students did cower and grovel at the mightiness of this meme, and there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth. Spake the students to Pekka-Eric, through their fear, "What name dost thou giveth to this glory, O sweet Pekka-Eric?"
And Pekka-Eric did grin as he said unto his followers, "LoL! For this creation, spawned from the pit of fail and faggotry, shall be known as HUMANITY IS OVERRATED!" And there was much shooting.
A Challenger appears
At 9.23.2008, a Finnish 22-year old guy under the name Wumpscut went batshit insane and shot 9 students, his teacher and finally, himself (A NEW RECORD) at the institution of service of Kauhajoki. Some argue that he is the spirit of Pekka-Eric Auvinen himself, rising from his grave to pwn once more. Not only did Wumpscut post videos of his mad shooting skillz to YouTube, but he also had imagery of himself (and his precious weapons) in IRC-Gallery.
Trivia
- Known aliases: NaturalSelector89, Sturmgeist89
- unconfirmed gamertag "Stray Bullet"
- Police found 69 empty shell cases at the Jokela School. That makes the hit rate: (10/69)*100 = 14.49%
- His IRL kill-death ratio is better than his OL ratio, although his pistol stats are ``Pistol 5:28:40 274 269 1.02 34%``
- Out of the 12 injured, only one was shot. The rest were injured during the evacuation.
- FINNISH HIM!
See Also
- Brb
- Robert Hawkins
- Matthew Murray
- Mark Essex
- Pussyhawks
- Virginia Tech massacre
- Cho Seung Hui
- Charles Whitman
- Ian Crossland
- TheAmazingAtheist
- Tyler Dumstorf
- Tyler Peterson
- Mr. Saari
Inspirations
External Links
- Crazy Christians steal the domain humanityisoverrated.com and fills it with lies
- but humanityisnotoverrated.com is so much better!
- http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/europe/11/07/school.shooting/index.html
- http://www.dagbladet.no/nyheter/2007/11/07/517514.html - 4chan gets blamed for the massacre, Hmm, where have I heard that before?
- http://zami.pp.fi/jokela/ - His website, lulz inside.
- http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=369_1194449557 The Video Warning available on Liveleak.
- His manifesto.
- His blog.
- http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/europe/11/07/school.shooting/index.html
- Counter Strike Source map of Jokela high school
- Pekka's BattleField2 Stats
Gallery
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The 4chan warning to the attack, complete with fixed timestamps -
Pekka comes back to life on 4chan only to face the same insulting comments... -
4chan gets the blame. -
4chan getting moar blame.
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His cockmongler impression. -
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The weapon...if you can call it that. -
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Obligatory Spiderman shoop -
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Pekka did it for Sparta!!!
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Spree/One-time Killers: |
Aaron Alexis • Adam Lanza • Alex Hribal • Alyssa Bustamante • Anthony Warner • Audrey Hale • Bruce Jeffrey Pardo • Casey Anthony • Cho Seung-Hui • Devin Patrick Kelley • Dylan Klebold • Dylann Storm Roof • Eric Harris • Gerry McCann • James Holmes • Jared Lee Loughner • Jason Rodriguez • Jeff Weise • Jiverly Voong • Joe Stack • Josef Fritzl • Laaiti Ekenstéen • Mark Essex • Martin Bryant • Matthew de Grood • Matthew Murray • Matti Saari • Maurice Clemmons • Nicholas Prosper • Pekka-Eric Auvinen • Peter Scully • Raoul Moat • Richard Speck • Robert Hawkins • Stephen Paddock • Tim Kretschmer • Timothy Hendron • TJ Lane • Tyler Peterson • Wade Michael Page • Woo Bum-kon |
|---|---|---|
| Career/Serial Killers: |
Academy Maniacs • Adolf Hitler • Charles Manson • Chris Benoit • Dnepropetrovsk Maniacs • Dubya • Jack the Ripper • Jeffrey Dahmer • Mao Zedong • Richard "The Iceman" Kuklinski • Ted Bundy | |
| Terrorists: |
Al Qaeda • Anders Behring Breivik • Anderson Lee Aldrich • Anton Lundin Pettersson • Dzhokhar Tsarnaev • Elliot Rodger • George Sodini • Maniacs Murder Cult • Mark Essex • Nidal Malik Hasan • Osama bin Laden • Tamerlan Tsarnaev • Ted Kaczynski | |
| See also: |
Antisocial personality disorder • Jews • Murder • Paranoid personality disorder • Pittsburgh Paint Job • Police Brutality • Sick fuck |
Pekka-Eric Auvinen is part of a series on Education [Go To School]
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| Featured article November 8, 2007 | ||
| Preceded by Holocaust Porn |
Pekka-Eric Auvinen | Succeeded by Jenkem |