Carly Fiorina: Difference between revisions
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'''Carleton S. "Carly" Fiorina''' is yet another [[W|Texas]] [[Republican]] running | [[File:Carly Fiorina.jpg|thumb|right|[[Nazi|Furher]] Carly before her bout with [[AIDS|cancer]]]] | ||
[[File:Carly fiorina1.jpg|thumb|right|And after her cancer.]] | |||
[[File:Pee-Wee-Herman.jpg|thumb|right|Another post cancer pick, now with a RAPE face.]] | |||
'''Carleton S. "Carly" Fiorina''' is yet another [[W|Texas]] [[Republican]] running as U.S. Senator for [[California]] against Barbara Boxer. Carly [[unwarranted self-importance|brags]] that she was the first [[woman]] to [[fail|successfully]] run a Fortune 20 company despite [[Irony|nearly destroying it]]. [http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0310/34086.html] | |||
Currently, Carly seems to be running for either best Pee Wee Herman impersonator or Worst CEO/Politican ever. Every photo of her appears to be her in a [[Hillary Clinton|pantsuit]]. | Currently, Carly seems to be running for either best Pee Wee Herman impersonator or Worst CEO/Politican ever. Every photo of her appears to be her in a [[Hillary Clinton|pantsuit]]. | ||
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==Campaign Commercials== | ==Campaign Commercials== | ||
[[File:Demon sheep.jpg|frame|left|Forced Meme: <big>'''I'LL SWALLOW YOUR SOUL!'''</big>]] | |||
Calling out her opponents Tom Campbell and Barbara Boxer, Fiornia hired some stoner who watched way too many Terry Gilliam movies to make the following commercials. | Calling out her opponents Tom Campbell and Barbara Boxer, Fiornia hired some stoner who watched way too many Terry Gilliam movies to make the following commercials. | ||
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* [http://www.noslaves.com/content/carly-fiorina-us-senate-not Carly Fiorina for US Senate? NOT!] | * [http://www.noslaves.com/content/carly-fiorina-us-senate-not Carly Fiorina for US Senate? NOT!] | ||
* [http://my.democrats.org/page/content/VPFiorina Facts about Carly] | * [http://my.democrats.org/page/content/VPFiorina Facts about Carly] | ||
== See Also == | == See Also == | ||
Revision as of 09:13, 3 November 2011
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Carleton S. "Carly" Fiorina is yet another Texas Republican running as U.S. Senator for California against Barbara Boxer. Carly brags that she was the first woman to successfully run a Fortune 20 company despite nearly destroying it. [1]
Currently, Carly seems to be running for either best Pee Wee Herman impersonator or Worst CEO/Politican ever. Every photo of her appears to be her in a pantsuit.
Her husband Frank is a former executive for AT&T.
The CEO from Hell
Fiorina , the short-haired CEO from hell, merged together Compaq and Hewlett-Packard in 2000. The new Hewlett-Packard saw 18,000 layoffs. Carly justifies her actions were necessary to create 24,000 jobs...outside the United States.
—Carly Fiorina, January 7, 2004. | ||
In 2005, HP fired her for being a total bitch, and for letting go of 3000 more workers to buy two Gulf Stream Private Jets.[2] Some say the creators of Google bought those jets shortly after she returned them. However, Carly didn't walk away with nothing. As part of her termination, she gave herself a $21,000,000 golden parachute, of which part of her severance package was spent on her campaign.
McCain's Campaign Economic Manager
As John McCain's campaign economic manager, Fiorina, being the hip trendy person that she is, encouraged John McCain to pick Sarah Palin over Tim Pawlenty as vice president. Her influence and poor decision making paved the way Barack Obama to move into the White House.
Faux News sauce
Fiorina, like Palin, has been a constant contributor at Faux News especially Faux News Sunday.
Campaign Commercials
Calling out her opponents Tom Campbell and Barbara Boxer, Fiornia hired some stoner who watched way too many Terry Gilliam movies to make the following commercials.
The whole purpose of these commercials is to create or use forced memes that are unfunny.
Previous Video | Next Video
Links
See Also
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Carly Fiorina is part of a series on Fox News [Over To You] |
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