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Strasbourg Christmas Market Shooting
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The Strasbourg Christmas Market Shooting was a minor terrorist attack occurred on the 11th of December 2018, in a vain attempt to save that year from becoming the most boring year of the 2010s, and to save ISIS from becoming permanently irrelevant (spoiler alert: It failed). It occurred in the city of Strasbourg in France.
On the evening of the 11th of December, a miserable "French" faggot, Chérif Chekatt☪, opened fire on the Christmas market. This pathetic n00b only managed to kill five people, including a fellow sandnigger from Afghanistan. Chérif Chekatt then pussied out, and proceeded to nonchalantly climb into a taxi. He then proceeded to boast to the taxi driver about his mAd fPS skIlLz, but the driver was reportedly unimpressed. Despite theories that Chérif would become an hero, he was instead killed in a shootout with French authorities.
Aftermath
Propaganda
After having lost all their territory and most of their membership over several years, and having been almost completely irrelevant for over a year, ISIS was in a bad state in 2018. Imagine their joy when FINALLY someone committed an act of terror that was not in America and not due to inceldom/assburgers related depression. Naturally, the fat neckbeards in the ISIS propaganda office (in theory... quality is so bad it could have been anyone) got to work to create a lulzy masterpiece of such distinction that is was honoured as Picture of the Now by Encylopaedia Dramatica. It shows Santa being knife-beheaded by Mohammed "Jihadi John" Emwazi (which is ironic as former is fictitious and the latter was killed by a drone strike in 2015). The image is very low quality, and it was probably made using Paint.NET. Cherif Chekatt, who could have gone down as a badass suicide bomber, was instead unceremoniously killed by police. After that, everyone forgot the whole thing. Four days later no one gives two shits about this incident or anyone involved.
US military withdrawal
Within about a week of the attack, God Emperor Trump decided spontaneously to withdraw all American troops from Syria, declaring that "ISIS had been defeated". There are two possible reasons for this. One theory is that, after seeing how pathetic ISIS terrorism had become, Trump decided they were as good as dead and not worth wasting any more precious jewgold on. Another theory is that Trump felt sorry for ISIS and yearned for a return to the 2015-era of mass murder lulz that had so successfully garnered him support during his election, and decided to give them a chance by removing ground troops from the region, allowing the terrorist group to catch it's breath and hopefully return to power. In any case, it was a telling move. Within 24 hours of the announcement to withdraw ground troops, America's defence secretary, General James "be polite be professional but have a plan to kill every cunt you meet" Mattis, resigned, citing Trump's lack of attention towards defending Europe as his reason. What a faggot.
