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Article of the Now

Gooning is a fancy new term for jerking off to stuff for hours on end. While the current definition for the term was first defined in 2005, it didn't start to gain traction until 14 years later in 2019, when the main gooning subreddits were created. Gooners conduct their main activity in their goon cave, where they go to their computer or phone to consume whatever totally absurd type of pornography they need.
It is LE BAD because scientists have found that consuming pornography for hours on end leads coomers to more disgusting types of pornography such as tranny, golden shower or even scat porn; and even worse terminal gooners might start looking for the potentially DEFINITELY illegal stuff like CP or bestiality. Hence, someone started to warn about the dangers of gooning, and the Never Goon meme was born.
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From Encyclopædia Dramatica's endless supply of factoids:
- ...that some stupid bitch got paid $6 Million Dollars because she claimed that she's addicted to and was traumatized by Instagram and Facebook?
- ...that Chuck Norris died? Get ready for a resurgance of Chuck Norris facts like how he's not really dead and is just taking a long nap.
- ...that it's St. Patrick's Day and 40% of the drunk driving deaths on this day will happen between midnight and 2:59 am?
- ...that some loser with too much money and not enough brains actually paid $14.6 million for a 1969 Fender Stratocaster that was played by Pink Floyd's David Gilmour?
- ...that The Seahawks Beat The Patriots 29-13 at this year's Superbowl? We're always happy to see The Patriots lose
- ... that boomer lawmakers are trying to ruin the internet with KOSA and other "bad internet bills" in the USA? You should tell them what you think, at badinternetbills.com!
- ... that another Valentine's Day has come and gone and you're still all alone? Are those voices in your head starting to become more persuasive?
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