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{{#ifexist: Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/{{#timel:F j, Y|1 day}} | {{Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/{{#timel:F j, Y|1 day}}}} | {{#ifexist: Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/{{#timel:F j, Y|0 days}} | {{Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/{{#timel:F j, Y|0 days}}}} | {{Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/{{#timel:F j, Y|-1 day}}}} }} }}{{Clear}} | |||
<p style="text-align:center; font-size:8pt">[[ED:AOTNS|Suggest a Featured Article]] • [[ED:AOTN|View the AotN Archives]]</p> | |||
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<div style="width:95%; margin:5px auto 8px auto">{{#ifexist: Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/{{#timel:F j, Y|1 day}} | {{Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/{{#timel:F j, Y|1 day}}}} | {{#ifexist: Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/{{#timel:F j, Y|0 days}} | {{Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/{{#timel:F j, Y|0 days}}}} | {{Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/{{#timel:F j, Y|-1 day}}}} }} }} | |||
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{{#ifexist: Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/{{#timel:F j, Y|1 day}} | {{Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/{{#timel:F j, Y|1 day}}}} | {{#ifexist: Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/{{#timel:F j, Y|0 days}} | {{Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/{{#timel:F j, Y|0 days}}}} | {{Encyclopedia Dramatica:Picture of the Now/{{#timel:F j, Y|-1 day}}}} }} }} | |||
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<div class="nodlyoutube" align="center">{{#ifexist: Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/{{#timel:F j, Y|1 day}} | {{Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/{{#timel:F j, Y|1 day}}}} | {{#ifexist: Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/{{#timel:F j, Y|0 days}} | {{Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/{{#timel:F j, Y|0 days}}}} | {{Encyclopedia Dramatica:Video of the Now/{{#timel:F j, Y|-1 day}}}} }} }}</div> | |||
<p style="text-align:center; font-size:8pt;">[[ED:VOTNS|Suggest a Featured Video]] • [[ED:VOTN|View the VotN Archives]]</p> | |||
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Latest revision as of 18:30, 27 March 2023
Welcome to
Encyclopædia Dramatica
"In lulz we trust."
Serving 16,568 articles since December 10th, 2004
Article of the Now
Brenda Ann Spencer (a.k.a. The Garfield Killer) was an edgy 16-year-old lesbian ginger whose retarded alcoholic daddy made the brilliant decision to buy her a rifle for Christmas despite the fact that he had been molesting her for years. On Monday, January 29, 1979, finally fed up with years of abuse and high as fuck on a combination of PCP and alcohol, Brenda decided to take out her brand-spanking-new Ruger and end her miserable life in style. Being too much of a fucking pussy to just blow a hole in her daddy's head and feeling that it would be too heterosexual to stick the barrel of a gun in her mouth, Brenda instead decided that she would get the police to do the job for her.
Seeing as she lived directly across from Grover Cleveland Elementary School in San Diego, Brenda decided that the fastest way to get the cops to come and blow her brains out would be to snipe some squeakers from the comfort of her bedroom. Unfortunately, despite managing to kill both the school principal and custodian, Brenda had neglected to factor in the fact that the police in Commiefornia would be too fucking soft to shoot a 16-year-old white bitch even if she was shooting directly at children and cops. After being arrested and asked why she did it, Brenda responded with the unforgettable phrase "I don't like Mondays."
Despite utterly failing to kill herself and still being alive to this very day, Brenda Ann Spencer did help make America's National Pastime popular again following a nearly 15 year hiatus since Charles Whitman's Tumor and 50 years since Andrew Kehoe invented the sport by blowing up a fucking elementary school. Brenda is also notable for being the first woman to participate in school shooting under Title IX.
While Brenda's high score of a mere 2 kills and 9 injuries is laughably horrible, she still managed to beat out Encyclopædia Dramatica's very own William "AlGore" Atchison in pretty much every category except becoming an heroine. How's it feel getting your dead freckled arse kicked by a fucking 16-year-old girl, Willie?
| Goth 2 days ago |
Ebola-chan 4 days ago |
Scientology Speedrunning 6 days ago | |
Did You Know...
From Encyclopædia Dramatica's endless supply of factoids:
- ...On May 3, 2026 a group of Christian Dwarves did a Speedrun on the $cientology L.A. headquarters looking for Tom Cruise?
- ...On May 8, 1945 the Western Allied Forces defeated the Nazis and made the good part of Germany their Bitch?
- ...that live streamer Johnny Somali couldn't keep his big-lipped mouth shut and may be looking at more time because he thought he was the World's Smartest Nigger and appealed a sweetheart Prison sentence?
- ...that some stupid bitch got paid $6 Million Dollars because she claimed that she's addicted to and was traumatized by Instagram and Facebook?
- ...that Chuck Norris died? Get ready for a resurgance of Chuck Norris facts like how he's not really dead and is just taking a long nap.
- ...that it's St. Patrick's Day and 40% of the drunk driving deaths on this day will happen between midnight and 2:59 am?
- ... that boomer lawmakers are trying to ruin the internet with KOSA and other "bad internet bills" in the USA? You should tell them what you think, at badinternetbills.com!
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