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Parents
For hilariously shitty parents see Pop parenting.
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Parents are fucking assholes that shit out crotch goblins and then proceed to develop a creepy stockholm relationship with the aforementioned goblin. When they're not aborting, parents give away a huge chunk of their life, health and disposable income for their children's sake, but most realize, and far too late, that it isn't going to make them happy and that you just can't hand a toddler back when you're the parent. There's only 3 reasons why anyone would subject themselves to this kind of torture in the first place: 1) they wanted to spread their ideals and religion by indoctrinating the crotch goblin. 2) they're boring narcissistic fucks that enjoy the attention that having kids brings them. 3) they're just too retarded to know how to use a condom.
It's worth noting that by bringing a child into this fucked up world without their consent – parents are to be blamed for the suffering of their children. So next time you stub your toe while moving a couch or accidentally bump into a wall, be sure to give your parents a call and tell them how much you want to rip out their reproductive organs and see them slowly bleed to death.
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Types of Parents
Drunk Fucks
Although a lot of parents are nice, along with being a failed abortion or the result of a ripped condom you get "butthurt" parents, that are drunk, stressed and if anything 'Two fails at life'. These parents enjoy beating you for the lulz(although you probably deserve it). These parents are known as "drunk fucks", many of these "drunk fucks" usually lead their child to committing suicide or on the street. These parents don't let you go to parties, hangout with friends and keep you locked in a room for you to slowly rot, while you furiously fap to softcore porn. They blame You for how fucked their lives are. If you have drunk fucks your mom is most likely a Cock Trapper. If you have these parents you should slice your throat with a knife that they've touched so that the investigators will see their fingerprints and charge them for murder.
Concerned parents are the most insufferable subspecies of parents there is. Their favorite hobbies include bitching about video games and guns, limiting their kid's screen time, and jumping in front of cars going 1 mph over the speed limit in a school zone while screaming "think of the children!" over and over again like a broken record. In most driving manuals, it's advised to press the accelerator pedal firmly and quickly all the way down in a situation like this.
Should Never be Parents
See also
And if they do, please send in pictures.
- Male and female
- Love
- Mothers and fathers
- Sex / Rape
- Pregnancy
- Baby / Abortion
- Children
- Teenagers
- Incest
- Grandmas and grandpas
- Éric Borel - Lulzy way to deal with abusive parents
- Straight
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Parents is part of a series on Visit the Sex Portal for complete coverage. |
