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CEO
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This article may have been paid for with cold hard ca$h, a violation of MER-C's virginity. It may require cleanup to comply with the UPE racket's terms of use. |
Asshole CEO is an award-winning serial entrepreneur, bestselling author, investor, thought leader, keynote speaker, philanthropist, micromanager, and douchebag.
As a multi-millionaire cheapskate, he pays UPE sock farms in India 5 rupees so that he can maximize his profits. Since he tried bargaining with too many Paki and Indian lowlife noobs, they will now trash this article because most of them didn't get the job. That is why this crappy article has been tagged as a UPE job.
Career
Asshole CEO is a serial entrepreneur who is the founder and CEO of 10 different startups that were all deleted by MER-C. He doesn't understand that MER-C thinks that writing about startups on TOW is equivalent to terrorism.
Asshole CEO is an award-winning author who wrote a bunch of ghostwritten shit on fake news sites that Praxidicae and Kuru had blacklisted as pure crap.
Asshole CEO is an innovative thought leader, which means he makes up corporate jargon that no one can understand. As an award-winning public speaker, he delivers CEO pep talks at TEDx and hosts the Asshole CEO podcast that no one listens to.
Asshole CEO likes to use his real name on Wikipedia. He gets instantly banned for violating TOW's username policy and so proceeds to hire low-cost Indians.
Asshole CEO has a net worth of $100 million but tries to hire the cheapest freelancer he could possibly find in India and Pakistan because he is a capitalist asshole. He doesn't understand that talking to too many freelancers means getting whooped in the ass by Indian and Paki lowlifes who didn't get hired for his 5 rupee job.
Asshole CEO was also once caught in a UPE sting operation by Doc James the evil Jew doc. Oops.
Philanthropy
Asshole CEO is an award-winning philanthropist. He founded the Cheap-Ass Boss Foundation, which donates laptops to Africa so that the starving kids there can all engage in UPE, while Asshole CEO gets a tax write-off for his seemingly charitable actions. This greatly increases the supply of desperately starving paid editors so that Asshole CEO can hire disposable slaves for even cheaper. However, this threatens GSS's UPE monopoly, which is why GSS reports all the UPE user accounts of starving Nigerian kids to the Bureaucratic Fucks.
Awards
In 2015, Asshole CEO was named as one of the Top 10 Micromanaging Douchebags by Wall Street Freaks. As a micromanager, he forces Indian UPE's to revise drafts 100 times and gets pissed off when only one word has been changed to be less promotional.
In 2020, Asshole CEO's company was mentioned in the 100 Most Profitable Companies List, since it outsources everything to India to save on operating costs.
In 2025, Asshole CEO won the Top 25 CEO's with the Best Synergy Vibes Awards. Whatever that means.
