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Pirate Software: Difference between revisions
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'''Pirate Software''' is the software developer company run by '''Thor''' ([[Powerword]]: Jason 'Thor' Hall, not to be mistaken for [[Injun|Jason 'Thor' nburg]]). In fact, Thor chose "Pirate Software" in the hopes that when people googled "pirate software", his name would pop up. Too bad Thor has yet to actually release a game to pirate. | |||
{{quote|Pirate Software is the kind of guy who appears really knowledgable about everything, until he covers a topic you know.|Sun Tsu}} | |||
[[File:PirateSoftware-hugeManatee.png|300px|thumb|right|OH THE HUGE MANATEE!!!1!!lol]]'''Pirate Software''' is the software developer company run by '''Thor''' ([[Powerword]]: Jason 'Thor' Hall, not to be mistaken for [[Injun|Jason 'Thor' nburg]]). In fact, Thor chose "Pirate Software" in the hopes that when people googled "pirate software", his name would pop up. Too bad Thor has yet to actually release a game to pirate. | |||
==About Thor== | ==About Thor== | ||
Thor worked for [[Blizzard]] for seven years, doing QA testing. Did he get in because he got lucky with a "help wanted" ad? Did his company get purchased by Blizzard and they recognized the quality of his work? Nope: [[Nepobaby|his dad got him hired]]. | Thor worked for [[Blizzard]] for seven years, doing QA testing. Did he get in because he got lucky with a "help wanted" ad? Did his company get purchased by Blizzard and they recognized the quality of his work? Nope: [[Nepobaby|his dad got him hired]]. | ||
===Going through Puberty Twice=== | |||
Apparently Thor had a much higher voice that he currently has. He jokes about "going through puberty twice" which is now why his voice is deeper: | |||
<youtube>vtAM3zMuyZ0</youtube> | |||
But in reality he probably uses a voice changer. Honestly he probably never had a first puberty to go through it a second time. | |||
==Life in Blizzard== | |||
Thor's time at Blizzard is largely unknown because he never talks about it. | |||
<youtube>Y03L5KlXDLg</youtube> | |||
==Furfag Years== | ==Furfag Years== | ||
In his early online years, Thor had a second life on [[Second Life]], where he was a [[furry]] known as "Maldavious Figtree". This is apparently a source of considerable embarrassment for him and he has tried everything he could to silence all info about this. | In his early online years, Thor had a second life on [[Second Life]], where he was a [[furry]] known as "Maldavious Figtree". This is apparently a source of considerable embarrassment for him and he has tried everything he could to silence all info about this. For example, he asked WikiFur and FurAffinity to blank out his pages... but here they are. | ||
<gallery widths=250 heights=200> | |||
PirateSoftware-WikiFurArchive.png|loud and proud | |||
PirateSoftware-WikiFurGone.png|lol nope | |||
PirateSoftware-FurAffinity.png|[[t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m|EPIC TEA SIPPAGE]]!! ''Yeah. ~Drink that tea~. -JUST- like -that-.....mmmmmm..... It's how I like it..... Oooooooh yeeeaaaaahhhh.'' | |||
PirateSoftware-MaldaviusFigtree.png|Maldavius Figtree ferself | |||
PirateSoftware-dickSuckingFur.png|i hope dad is proud of me uwu | |||
PirateSoftware-piratSoftware.jpg|piRAT Software (made with Thor's approval... uh ok) | |||
</gallery> | |||
==The Rise of Pirate Software== | |||
===Champions of Breakfast=== | |||
Apparently not a bad game. Truly an abberation. | |||
===Heartbound=== | |||
Thor's game, Heartbound, which is supposed to be an [[Undertale]] killer, was announced in 2016 and finally released in 2017. It went on to have two highly successful sequels: Mindbound was released in 2018, and Soulbound was release 2021 (delayed slightly due to Covid). The Heartbound trilogy is highly regarded in the Indie Gaming scene, and Thor has inspired many people with his wholesome "ANYONE can make a video game!" attitude. | |||
[[File:PirateSoftware-heartbound2016.png|400px|center|thumb|Heartbound in 2016, to be released [[Vaporware|very soon]]!]] | |||
lol jk Heartbound hasn't even been released yet. It WAS supposed to be released in 2017, but it's been over eight years and he's still working on it. In fact, Thor's coding is ABSOLUTE DOGSHIT for someone who's been "in the industry" as long as Thor (apparently) has. | |||
<youtube>HHwhiz0s2x8</youtube> | |||
Eghhh.... well... OK hey, the game can be coded like shit... but it doesn't matter if the game is good, fun and engaging... right? I mean, [[Undertale]] and [[YandereDev|Yandere Simulator]] have shit code but it would be a stretch for anyone to consider them "bad, unfun games" right? So let's watch Heartbound in action and judge for ourselves! | |||
<youtube>-BNWD5IibOc</youtube> | |||
EEGGGHHHHHHHH. OK this game is garbage. There is no character motivation, no tension, no payoff... the Mom is the bad guy even though she's only ever shown once prior to the BIG REVEAL (and barely at that). "No one even likes you!" "You make it reads like a 15 year old girl wrote this. | |||
I made an actual game with actual gameplay back in college using OpenGL, and that technically makes me a more successful game developer than Thor. How about that? | |||
===Offbrand Games=== | |||
He was working with this third party but had to quit because the Stop Killing Games people were being mean to him :( | |||
[[File:PirateSoftware-offbrandGames.jpg|300px|center]] | |||
==World of Warcraft== | |||
He let two guys get killed in WOW. | |||
==Stop Killing Games== | ==Stop Killing Games== | ||
Thor wants to kill games but [[Stop Killing Games]] doesn't want to let that happen. Or something like that. | Thor wants to kill games but [[Stop Killing Games]] doesn't want to let that happen. Or something like that. | ||
==The Fall of Pirate Software== | |||
We're still seeing the full effects of Thor's growing lolcow status, but it's clear it's starting to take a toll. But who knows how low he can go! Maybe he'll claim that | |||
[[File:PirateSoftware-losingFans.jpg|400px|center]] | |||
==Videos== | |||
==Links== | |||
* [https://web.archive.org/web/20160918052804/http://www.furaffinity.net/user/maldavius/ Fur Affinity (archive)] — see the EPIC TEA SIPPAGE for yourself | |||
* {{kf|197757|Jason Thor Hall}} aka PirateSoftware / Maldavius Figtree / DarkSphere Creations / Maldavius / Thorwich / Witness X / @PotatoSec | |||
{{Gaming}} | {{Gaming}} | ||
Revision as of 01:35, 15 July 2025
—Sun Tsu | ||
Pirate Software is the software developer company run by Thor (Powerword: Jason 'Thor' Hall, not to be mistaken for Jason 'Thor' nburg). In fact, Thor chose "Pirate Software" in the hopes that when people googled "pirate software", his name would pop up. Too bad Thor has yet to actually release a game to pirate.
About Thor
Thor worked for Blizzard for seven years, doing QA testing. Did he get in because he got lucky with a "help wanted" ad? Did his company get purchased by Blizzard and they recognized the quality of his work? Nope: his dad got him hired.
Going through Puberty Twice
Apparently Thor had a much higher voice that he currently has. He jokes about "going through puberty twice" which is now why his voice is deeper:
But in reality he probably uses a voice changer. Honestly he probably never had a first puberty to go through it a second time.
Life in Blizzard
Thor's time at Blizzard is largely unknown because he never talks about it.
Furfag Years
In his early online years, Thor had a second life on Second Life, where he was a furry known as "Maldavious Figtree". This is apparently a source of considerable embarrassment for him and he has tried everything he could to silence all info about this. For example, he asked WikiFur and FurAffinity to blank out his pages... but here they are.
-
loud and proud -
lol nope -
EPIC TEA SIPPAGE!! Yeah. ~Drink that tea~. -JUST- like -that-.....mmmmmm..... It's how I like it..... Oooooooh yeeeaaaaahhhh. -
Maldavius Figtree ferself -
i hope dad is proud of me uwu -
piRAT Software (made with Thor's approval... uh ok)
The Rise of Pirate Software
Champions of Breakfast
Apparently not a bad game. Truly an abberation.
Heartbound
Thor's game, Heartbound, which is supposed to be an Undertale killer, was announced in 2016 and finally released in 2017. It went on to have two highly successful sequels: Mindbound was released in 2018, and Soulbound was release 2021 (delayed slightly due to Covid). The Heartbound trilogy is highly regarded in the Indie Gaming scene, and Thor has inspired many people with his wholesome "ANYONE can make a video game!" attitude.
lol jk Heartbound hasn't even been released yet. It WAS supposed to be released in 2017, but it's been over eight years and he's still working on it. In fact, Thor's coding is ABSOLUTE DOGSHIT for someone who's been "in the industry" as long as Thor (apparently) has.
Eghhh.... well... OK hey, the game can be coded like shit... but it doesn't matter if the game is good, fun and engaging... right? I mean, Undertale and Yandere Simulator have shit code but it would be a stretch for anyone to consider them "bad, unfun games" right? So let's watch Heartbound in action and judge for ourselves!
EEGGGHHHHHHHH. OK this game is garbage. There is no character motivation, no tension, no payoff... the Mom is the bad guy even though she's only ever shown once prior to the BIG REVEAL (and barely at that). "No one even likes you!" "You make it reads like a 15 year old girl wrote this.
I made an actual game with actual gameplay back in college using OpenGL, and that technically makes me a more successful game developer than Thor. How about that?
Offbrand Games
He was working with this third party but had to quit because the Stop Killing Games people were being mean to him :(
World of Warcraft
He let two guys get killed in WOW.
Stop Killing Games
Thor wants to kill games but Stop Killing Games doesn't want to let that happen. Or something like that.
The Fall of Pirate Software
We're still seeing the full effects of Thor's growing lolcow status, but it's clear it's starting to take a toll. But who knows how low he can go! Maybe he'll claim that
Videos
Links
- Fur Affinity (archive) — see the EPIC TEA SIPPAGE for yourself
Jason Thor Hall aka PirateSoftware / Maldavius Figtree / DarkSphere Creations / Maldavius / Thorwich / Witness X / @PotatoSec
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Pirate Software is part of a series on Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage. |