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Dream Theater: Difference between revisions
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imported>Unknown Created page with " thumb|200px|TOTALLY DARK AND BROOTUL '''Dream Theater''' is a Progressive Metal band from New York, specializing in making [[Dragonforce|long..." |
imported>Lichdomftw Rewriting this shit. |
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[[File:Dtbcsl.jpg|thumb|200px|TOTALLY DARK 'N' [[Scene|BR00TL]] \m/]] | |||
'''Dream Theater''' is a [[Yes|Progressive]] [[Metal]] band from [[New York]], specializing in making [[Dragonforce|long epic guitar solo songs]]. The band started in 1989, disappeared in 1997, then reappeared in 2007 thanks to [[Guitar Hero]]. They are [[sellout]]s, since more than 10 people have heard about them, and they're totally not [[Black metal|br00tul]] according to the Metal world. They're commonly known for playing long songs, with [[Retard|retarded]] time signatures and epic [[Black metal|br00tal]] guitar solos. | |||
==Band Members== | |||
[[File:Jesuspetrucci.jpg|thumb|John Petrucci]] | [[File:Jesuspetrucci.jpg|thumb|John Petrucci]] | ||
===John Petrucci=== | ===John Petrucci=== | ||
[[OMG]] 100% [[THE BEST]] Guitarist ever in the history of forever and secretly Jesus in disguise, according to fans. Writes most of the band's music in order to have the longest possible guitar solo. He also has a [[So_cash/variations/Celebrity_Cash#John_Petrucci_Cash|smokin' hot wife]]. | [[OMG]] 100% [[THE BEST]] Guitarist ever in the history of forever and secretly Jesus in disguise, according to fans. Is probably the most overrated guitarist in the world, but still one of the best. Writes most of the band's music and lyrics in order to have the longest possible guitar solo. [[Rape|Sweep picks]] too much and is commonly known for setting his guitar on fire during solos. | ||
He also has a [[So_cash/variations/Celebrity_Cash#John_Petrucci_Cash|smokin' hot wife]]. | |||
<center><youtube>ITIfITKGhVw</youtube></center> | |||
===[[Azn|John Myung]]=== | ===[[Azn|John Myung]]=== | ||
Bassist. Doesn't talk. | Bassist. Doesn't talk. Is [[Azn|Asian]]. | ||
===Jordan Rudess=== | ===Jordan Rudess=== | ||
[[File:Jrwizard.jpg|thumb|[[EDF|R u a wizard?]]]] | [[File:Jrwizard.jpg|thumb|[[EDF|R u a wizard?]]]] | ||
A skilled keyboard player and a decent wizard, but he is the most hated member of Dream Theater. Why? Because of the [[Bald|chrome dome?]] Being a Jew? Posting too much on [[YouTube]]? Using [[Apple]] products? His cute fluffy [[kitty]]? No. Because he replaced Kevin [[Moar|Moore]] back in '96, and the fans still haven't gotten over it. According to them Jordan is the worst thing evar in DT, and they should fire him and bring back [[Moar]] so that they can redo Images And Words, despite the fact that [[Moar]] is already in his own band. | A skilled keyboard player and a decent wizard, but he is the most hated member of Dream Theater. Why? Because of the [[Bald|chrome dome?]] Being a Jew? Posting too much on [[YouTube]]? Using [[Apple]] products? His cute fluffy [[kitty]]? No. Because he replaced [[Armenians|Derek Sherinian]] who replaced Kevin [[Moar|Moore]] back in '96, and the fans still haven't gotten over it. | ||
According to them, Jordan is the worst thing evar in DT, and they should fire him and bring back [[Moar]] so that they can redo Images And Words, despite the fact that [[Moar]] is already in his own band. | |||
*[http://twitter.com/Jcrudess Jordan's Twitter] | *[http://twitter.com/Jcrudess Jordan's Twitter] | ||
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/JCRUDESS Jordan's YouTube] | *[http://www.youtube.com/user/JCRUDESS Jordan's YouTube] | ||
===James LaBrie=== | ===James LaBrie=== | ||
''Was'' a great singer until | ''Was'' a great singer until 2002, but then he damaged his vocal chords from [[Anorexia|vomiting so much]]. Now he sounds like a cat run over by a motorcycle at live shows. Likes to spin around on stage and shit. Also he's [[Canadian]]. | ||
===Mike [[Porn|Portnoy]]=== | ===Mike [[Porn|Portnoy]]=== | ||
Their fat drummer who used to have a drinking habit. Now he has replaced it with a habit of self-promoting in the songs he writes. He wrote [[What|5 fucking 10-minute songs]] about his [[Alcoholics]] [[Anonymous]] crap, and songs about his [[Baw|crappy childhood]] and dead father. After The Rev died, he took his place in [[ | Their fat drummer who used to have a [[Alcoholism|drinking habit]]. Now he has replaced it with a habit of self-promoting in the songs he writes. He wrote [[What|5 fucking 10-minute songs]] about his [[Alcoholics]] [[Anonymous]] crap, and songs about his [[Baw|crappy childhood]] and dead father. After The Rev died, he took his place in [[Avenged Sevenfold]]. His drumkit is so huge, it has 2 seats (Somewhere along the line he [[fat|grew a second ass]].) and so many cymbals that it resembles a small village in [[Taiwan]]. He wants you to [[Lol|eat his ass and balls]]. | ||
*[http://twitter.com/MikePortnoyDT Tweet my ass and balls] | *[http://twitter.com/MikePortnoyDT Tweet my ass and balls] | ||
'''<big>UPDATE</big>''': On 9/8/10, Mike [http://www.roadrunnerrecords.com/news/Mike-Portnoy-Announces-His-Departure-From-Dream-Theater-22063.aspx announced] that he is [[Done with ED|done with DT]]. Millions of suicides are expected. | '''<big>UPDATE</big>''': On 9/8/10, Mike [http://www.roadrunnerrecords.com/news/Mike-Portnoy-Announces-His-Departure-From-Dream-Theater-22063.aspx announced] that he is [[Done with ED|done with DT]]. Millions of suicides are expected. | ||
===Mike Mangini=== | |||
[[OMG]] liek the fastist drumer in the wurl guiz!!1! | |||
Replaced Mike Porntoy after he decided to [[Die|leave]] Dream Theater. | |||
Not as good as Marco Minneman. | |||
==Fans== | ==Fans== | ||
Like most bands, it's the rabid fans that give DT a bad name. The fans seem to think that their fandom is far superior to [[Miley Cyrus|other]] [[ | Like most bands, it's the rabid fans that give DT a bad name. The fans seem to think that their fandom is far superior to [[Miley Cyrus|other]] [[Justin Bieber|crappy]] [[Jonas Brothers|fandoms]], but when provoked, the fans will react in the same way as the aforementioned 12-year-old girls. Comments of "OMG DREAM THEATER RULZ" and "STFU UR A HATER" litter their Internet existence. | ||
===Trolling DT fans=== | ===Trolling DT fans=== | ||
*Say that Dragonforce is heavier/better/herman li owns | *Say that Dragonforce is heavier/better/herman li owns Pezuzi | ||
*Say that kirk | *Say that kirk hamlet is more skilled at guitar soloing | ||
*Mention that a video game that insults guitar players is the reason why this band even makes any money | *Mention that a video game that insults guitar players is the reason why this band even makes any money | ||
*say that the vocals suck | *say that the vocals suck and are girly | ||
*say that they are not heavy in the slightest (fans will fight to the death in defense of this) | *say that they are not heavy in the slightest (fans will fight to the death in defense of this) | ||
*Mention that no one listens to them | *Mention that no one listens to them | ||
*Say that | *Say that Peturci speeds up his guitar solos via audacity, and that [[Azn|herman ri]] doesn't | ||
*say that all of the guitar work from | *say that all of the guitar work from Pechoochee (solos, leads) is actually all MIDI and that he sucks ass | ||
*ask a fan how many times he (no girls on internet so only he) has heard DT songs on the radio. | *ask a fan how many times he (no girls on internet so only he) has heard DT songs on the radio. | ||
*Say that avenged sevenfold and bullet for my valentine are more successful, way better, heavier and have more talented lead guitar players | *Say that avenged sevenfold and bullet for my valentine are more successful, way better, heavier and have more talented lead guitar players | ||
*Mention that | *Mention that Petrucilli is not on the Rolling Stones top 100 best guitarists list. | ||
==Music== | ==Music== | ||
[[File:Count tuscany.jpg|thumb|The Count of Tuscany.]] | [[File:Count tuscany.jpg|thumb|The Count of Tuscany.]] | ||
The music isn't half bad if you like [[Tl;dr|10+ minute-long]] songs with [[at least 100]] time signature changes per | The music isn't half bad if you like [[Tl;dr|10+ minute-long]] songs with [[at least 100]] time signature changes per second. | ||
*Images And Words - [[THE BEST]] album evar, simply because of Kevin Moore. | *Images And Words - [[THE BEST]] album evar, simply because of Kevin Moore. | ||
:*[[No Life|Learning To Live]] - [[Epic|EPIC]] song, because James [[Castration|cuts his balls off]] and hits [[Profanity|F#]] in the middle of the song. | :*[[No Life|Learning To Live]] - [[Epic|EPIC]] song, because James [[Castration|cuts his balls off]] and hits [[Profanity|F#]] in the middle of the song. | ||
| Line 59: | Line 71: | ||
|I'm a steak|Sacrificed Sons | |I'm a steak|Sacrificed Sons | ||
|[[Emo|Cut myself open wide...]]|Never Enough | |[[Emo|Cut myself open wide...]]|Never Enough | ||
|Give your cellphone to me| [[Emo|Forsaken]] | |||
|...|John Myung | |...|John Myung | ||
}} | }} | ||
| Line 75: | Line 88: | ||
==External Links== | ==External Links== | ||
*[http://www.dreamtheater.net/ Their official website] | *[http://www.dreamtheater.net/ Their official website] | ||
{{music}} | {{music}} | ||
[[Category:Fandom Stuff]] | [[Category:Fandom Stuff]] | ||
Latest revision as of 05:13, 29 July 2013
Dream Theater is a Progressive Metal band from New York, specializing in making long epic guitar solo songs. The band started in 1989, disappeared in 1997, then reappeared in 2007 thanks to Guitar Hero. They are sellouts, since more than 10 people have heard about them, and they're totally not br00tul according to the Metal world. They're commonly known for playing long songs, with retarded time signatures and epic br00tal guitar solos.
Band Members
John Petrucci
OMG 100% THE BEST Guitarist ever in the history of forever and secretly Jesus in disguise, according to fans. Is probably the most overrated guitarist in the world, but still one of the best. Writes most of the band's music and lyrics in order to have the longest possible guitar solo. Sweep picks too much and is commonly known for setting his guitar on fire during solos. He also has a smokin' hot wife.
Bassist. Doesn't talk. Is Asian.
Jordan Rudess
A skilled keyboard player and a decent wizard, but he is the most hated member of Dream Theater. Why? Because of the chrome dome? Being a Jew? Posting too much on YouTube? Using Apple products? His cute fluffy kitty? No. Because he replaced Derek Sherinian who replaced Kevin Moore back in '96, and the fans still haven't gotten over it. According to them, Jordan is the worst thing evar in DT, and they should fire him and bring back Moar so that they can redo Images And Words, despite the fact that Moar is already in his own band.
James LaBrie
Was a great singer until 2002, but then he damaged his vocal chords from vomiting so much. Now he sounds like a cat run over by a motorcycle at live shows. Likes to spin around on stage and shit. Also he's Canadian.
Mike Portnoy
Their fat drummer who used to have a drinking habit. Now he has replaced it with a habit of self-promoting in the songs he writes. He wrote 5 fucking 10-minute songs about his Alcoholics Anonymous crap, and songs about his crappy childhood and dead father. After The Rev died, he took his place in Avenged Sevenfold. His drumkit is so huge, it has 2 seats (Somewhere along the line he grew a second ass.) and so many cymbals that it resembles a small village in Taiwan. He wants you to eat his ass and balls.
UPDATE: On 9/8/10, Mike announced that he is done with DT. Millions of suicides are expected.
Mike Mangini
OMG liek the fastist drumer in the wurl guiz!!1! Replaced Mike Porntoy after he decided to leave Dream Theater. Not as good as Marco Minneman.
Fans
Like most bands, it's the rabid fans that give DT a bad name. The fans seem to think that their fandom is far superior to other crappy fandoms, but when provoked, the fans will react in the same way as the aforementioned 12-year-old girls. Comments of "OMG DREAM THEATER RULZ" and "STFU UR A HATER" litter their Internet existence.
Trolling DT fans
- Say that Dragonforce is heavier/better/herman li owns Pezuzi
- Say that kirk hamlet is more skilled at guitar soloing
- Mention that a video game that insults guitar players is the reason why this band even makes any money
- say that the vocals suck and are girly
- say that they are not heavy in the slightest (fans will fight to the death in defense of this)
- Mention that no one listens to them
- Say that Peturci speeds up his guitar solos via audacity, and that herman ri doesn't
- say that all of the guitar work from Pechoochee (solos, leads) is actually all MIDI and that he sucks ass
- ask a fan how many times he (no girls on internet so only he) has heard DT songs on the radio.
- Say that avenged sevenfold and bullet for my valentine are more successful, way better, heavier and have more talented lead guitar players
- Mention that Petrucilli is not on the Rolling Stones top 100 best guitarists list.
Music
The music isn't half bad if you like 10+ minute-long songs with at least 100 time signature changes per second.
- Images And Words - THE BEST album evar, simply because of Kevin Moore.
- Learning To Live - EPIC song, because James cuts his balls off and hits F# in the middle of the song.
- Lie - Metallica cover.
- Anna Lee - Self-explanatory.
- Home - Basically Tool's Forty-six and two.
- The Dance of Eternity - OMG SO TECHNICAL OVER 9000 TIME SIGNATURE CHANGES LOL
- A Nightmare to Remember - DT's attempt at death metal. Failed horribly.
- A Rite Of Passage - Proof that they are Secret Illuminati OMG
- The Count Of Tuscany - The story of how JP was almost raped by some dude. An unintentionally lulzy song, due to cheesy lyrics and awkward singing. (srsly, not even ventriloquist dummies have to say such silly things.)
Lyrics
—Metropolis pt. 1 | ||
Previous Quote | Next Quote
Videos
Previous Video | Next Video
See Also
External Links
|
Dream Theater is part of a series on Visit the Music Portal for complete coverage. |