No life

A person who has NO social life whatsoever. This is about 98.9% of everyone on the internets.

Etymology/Explanation

Without variation, the first accusation or retort of the pwned is that the pwnr has no life. This is normally phrased as a claim that the pwnr spends too much time on the Internets, or that the incidence of pwnage took "too much time" or "too much effort", clearly indicating that the pwnr is obsessed with and quite possibly Internet stalking the pwnee. The pwned may also attempt to put on a facade that they are "too cool for this internet shit anyways."

Because this is almost the exclusive standard usage of the phrase, no life has become a de facto acknowledgment of pwnification. Thus most trolls will remain unsatisfied until told they have no life.

Variations

"Get a life"
"Wow, that must have taken forever. Clearly you have no life."
"Wow, you are spending way too much time arguing with me. Clearly you have no life."
"You keep commenting because you have no life." See occupatio.
"Why don't you spend more of your time with your kids instead of arguing on the Internets?"—a favorite of pwned teen mothers
"Poor, poor dear. Here, have a nickel and get yourself a life."
"Yeah right, you don't work, you spend all day online trolling because you have no life!"
"Obviously you have no life and should probably kill yourself in order to not waste any more of the precious, precious natural resources currently keeping that stink sack you call skin alive."
"Well, pardon me for HAVING A LIFE, gringo. "

Comebacks

"NO U"
"BAWWW"
"U MAD"
"lol"
"Rofl"
"Your Mom"

Any one or more of these will guarantee instant drama and butthurt met with "G2g i need sleep." Best of all, they require minimal typing.

List of People Who Have No Life

Fanfiction

My eyes glaze over as I stare at the unnatural florescent glow of the computer monitor. Suddenly, I realize I've had to urinate for 5 hours now. I was so entranced in my game of Warcraft that I never noticed. I stagger off of my chair, which has a hole worn in it from my fat ass grinding against it for almost 3 years straight. I limp into the bathroom and turn on the light. I glance into the mirror and stop. Something caught my interest. I looked into the mirror, at myself, into my eyes - my tired, limp, lazy, dull, lifeless eyes. And in that moment, reality hits me like a stone in the head; I have no life left, for the Internet has sucked it away, into the virtual world, gone among the billions of ones and zeros...I have no life...

No life is part of a series on Language & Communication

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