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Latest revision as of 13:44, 27 January 2026
Welcome to
Encyclopædia Dramatica
"In lulz we trust."
Serving 16,542 articles since December 10th, 2004
Article of the Now
Ass Burgers Syndrome✡ is a disorder caused by the jews and the vaccines they want us to take. A certain kike named Dr. Hans Asperger, due to his Jew instinct to make up nonexistent diseases to scam otherwise normal people out of their money (which would later cover their later jew plot for global vaccines) , had the brilliant idea of putting all the psychopaths with little or no social skills in one group and diagnosed them with a new mental illness: AUTISM. (The name itself is a euphemism for what he called "Autistic Sociopaths"). Like all mental illness there is absolutely no physical evidence that it actually exists, but for expecting parents it replaces Down's Syndrome as the number one disorder they fear their child will develop. It differs from High Functioning Autism in that it was considered utter bullshit before it was popular to invent psychiatric disorders.
Asperger-monsters are the most self-centered, emotionless selfish pieces of shit on the planet. Devoid of empathy, social reasoning, social context, or self-awareness, they are sociopaths with another definition, who live to collect and catalog meaningless items like barcodes, bottletops, and plastic crap by any means possible including murder. Common symptoms of Asperger's Syndrome include failing at social interaction and empathy, failing at communication, failing at getting a job, failing at life, failing at hygiene, becoming obsessed with animu or video games, and breaking out into fits of Stress™ when their strict routines are broken or when they're asked to stop being lazy, self-serving leeches living off the government and their parents.
For these reasons, Asperger's Syndrome has greatly eclipsed ADHD as the popular diagnosis of choice for pretty much every group of retards on the internet. It is of no coincidence then that all people with Asperger's Syndrome are fugly.
Interestingly, the effects of long-term neglect in early childhood are nearly identical to Asperger's Syndrome, which itself can be fairly compared to psychopathy and sociopathy. This proves to be a good argument for drastic measures. Be sure to thank the nearest Aspie for drawing Sonic the Hedgehog porn rather than killing and eating neurotypicals (with chicken tendies on the side).
Asperger's Syndrome remains the one of the most compelling argument for eugenics ever established. Examples of famous people with assburgers are Muhammad, Albert Einstein, Al Gore, L. Ron Hubbard, Jay Leno, Abraham Lincoln, Mark Zuckerberg, Hitler, and the Japanese.
What have I missed? Battle for Dream Island was 2 days ago • Roblox was 4 days ago • Operation: Fat Fuck was 6 days ago
Quote of the Now
I just saw the Mario Galaxy movie. I don't think I've ever seen a film more clearly designed to be viewed on an iPad in the backseat of a minivan.
— J.J. McCullough, archive
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Did You Know...
From Encyclopædia Dramatica's endless supply of factoids:
- ...that Chuck Norris died? Get ready for a resurgance of Chuck Norris facts like how he's not really dead and is just taking a long nap.
- ...that it's St. Patrick's Day and 40% of the drunk driving deaths on this day will happen between midnight and 2:59 am?
- ...that some loser with too much money and not enough brains actually paid $14.6 million for a 1969 Fender Stratocaster that was played by Pink Floyd's David Gilmour?
- ...that The Seahawks Beat The Patriots 29-13 at this year's Superbowl? We're always happy to see The Patriots lose
- ... that boomer lawmakers are trying to ruin the internet with KOSA and other "bad internet bills" in the USA? You should tell them what you think, at badinternetbills.com!
- ... that another Valentine's Day has come and gone and you're still all alone? Are those voices in your head starting to become more persuasive?
- ... that Chuck E. Cheese (CEC Entertainment) CEO and President David McKillips resigned- most likely because his name was in the Epstein Files?
- ... that an AI animation named Amelia has become the waifu of every far-right user of the Internets? Sorry about the breakup, K-On! girls!
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