Al Gore

This is about the politician. For ED user "AlGore", see William Atchison

	“	During my service in the United States Congress I took the initiative in creating the Internet [as well as taking place in making up Global Warming].	„
	—AL Gore, on CNN, March 1999

Who Exactly is Al Gore?

Gore's speech is closed captioned for the hearing impaired

Al Gore strikes a blow for all Special Needs children

Al Gore raising a fist on a helpless child (not pictured)

Al Gore with his favorite audience

Al Gore, or Cereal Guy is the Emperor of his own country, Gorea, inventor of the Internets(circa 1992), and the inventor of the pokeball. He has ridden the mighty Moon Worm and slain the ferocious manbearpig with extreme fury. He ran for President of the United States, but lost to a Monkey over which he was seriously butthurt and grew a really creepy beard. It's rumored that Gore uses unnecessarily elongated words to compensate for his incredibly large small penis.

He is a very boring person; sometimes when he talks to people, they commit suicide because he's so damn boring. However, little do they know they are doing it wrong. He also has no friends because of this, and because he constantly uses the word "cereal". Al won an Oscar, an Emmy, and a Nobel Peace Prize all in the same year; basically for being the guy who lost to George Bush. After winning the Nobel Prize, he spent the entire fucking night wanking off to Furry Porn. This is because his wife, Tipper Whore, is a cyborg with a stainless steel vagina (clang clang) clocked in at -5 celcius.

They have recently started marketing a new sleep aid in form of video entitled "The Inconceivable Truth", featuring the man himself. This has been proven effective and sales have gone up.

The similarities are astounding...

Humongous Hypocrisy

How's that for an Inconvenient fuckin' Truth? "IT'S OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND!"

Rise Of The Anti-Christ

In ASCII code, "al gore" = 97 + 108 + 32 + 103 + 111 + 114 + 101 = 666, therefore Al Gore is the anti-Christ.

Coincidence? I THINK NOT

Al's Initiatives

Here are some of his initiatives during office and throughout his life:

Global Warming

Why so cereal?

Al Gore invented Global Warming at least 100 years ago to kill off emotards and Jews. He admits it in this quote: "During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Global Warming." How he managed to do such a feat remains a mystery today; some allege while standing on his porch in Tennessee, he threw a lasso around the Sun and pulled it closer to Earth. Others say he was standing on the Sun and threw a lasso around the Earth and pulled it closer to him. The real explanation is lost to the sands of time, unfortunately.

As Al began to regret taking the initiative to create Global Warming, he decided to have a concert to raise Global Warming awareness called "Live Earth". It was held on 7/07/07, and 74,500 tons of carbon dioxide gas were produced by the event. Thanks Al.

Every time Al Gore testifies on Capitol Hill on global warming, mother nature sends a big snowstorm or hailstorm to welcome him. This has happened so many times it has been nicknamed the "Gore Effect". Mother nature enjoys making Al Gore look like an idiot because mother nature does not care what Al Gore thinks the sea level should be. When he speaks at MIT, mother nature doesn't need to do anything to make him look like an idiot since the science geeks there will just play a round of Buzzword Bingo at his expense.

The former vice president's 20-room home and pool house devoured nearly 221,000 kilowatt-hours in 2006, more than 20 times the national average of 10,656 kilowatt-hours. This, of course, is why he wants you to conserve electricity; He wants it all for himself.

Al Gore increases global temperature 5 degrees every time he takes his shirt off. Oh, and he flies around everywhere in his own private jet which contradicts his whole global warming scheme.

World Domination

1. Create the Internets
2. Invent Global Warming
3. ????
4. PROFIT!!!

Quotations

• "1000101, lol."
• "BRB bio break."
• "How do I shot web?"
• "Ask not what Mudkipz can do for your country, ask what Mudkipz can do for you."

Al Gore and Science

Al Gore was awarded a Nobel Prize for making his power point presentation, "An Inconvenient Truth". He used his "scientific background" to make this film. Al has a Bachelor of the Arts degree in Government, and he took a class on climate science in college. This puts his movie at about the same level as a 8th grader's science fair project.

We need to save the planet. Carbon Dioxide is killing us. Polar bears are dying.

Invention of the Intarwebz

Al Gore claims that he is inventor of the internet. Although it is also reported that the internet was born in 1970, via immaculate conception through Al Gore's gaping man-gina. This is a more likely scenario, as it is common knowledge that anyone can follow their land line to their Isp trunk. Effectively, all trunks are linked up to a giant Belkin router located inside Al Gore's man-gina. The internet is a series of tubes, and goes where ever Al Gore roams.

Al Gore Knows Him Some Words

Mr. Gore after consuming said helpless child

Al Gore is the original furry hunter. I'm totally cereal (not serial, retards.)

Manbearpig IRL

More quotes from the master of the internet and the environment. These are all true. PROTIP: Bringing up any of these quotes to a Gore fanatic will yield the famous "taken out of context" argument so many assholes like to use when they're getting pwnd in an argument. In short, Al Gore is a professional at pwning himself. Smirk inwardly, for you have won at this point.

“   “If we don’t succeed, we run the risk of failure.”   „     — –Al Gore     “   “Democrats understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child.”   „     — - Vice President Al Gore     “   “Welcome to President Clinton, Mrs. Clinton, and my fellow astronauts.”   „     — – Vice President Al Gore     “   “Mars is essentially in the same orbit… Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, & water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe.”   „     — – Vice President Al Gore, 8/11/94     “   “The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation’s history. I mean in this century’s history. But we all lived in this century. I didn’t live in this century.”   „     — — Vice President Al Gore, 9/15/95     “   “I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change.”   „     — – Vice President Al Gore, 5/22/98     “   “One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president, & that one word is ‘to be prepared’.”   „     — – Vice President Al Gore, 12/6/93     “   “Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things.”   „     — – Vice President Al Gore, 11/30/96     “   “I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future.”   „     — - Vice President Al Gore     “   “The future will be better tomorrow.”   „     — - Vice President Al Gore     “   “We’re going to have the best-educated American people in the world.”   „     — – Vice President Al Gore, 9/21/97     “   “People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history.”   „     — — Vice President Al Gore     “   “I stand by all the misstatements that I’ve made.”   „     — – Vice President Al Gore to Sam Donaldson, 8/17/93     “   “We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe.”   „     — — Vice President Al Gore     “   “Public speaking is very easy.”   „     — - Vice President Al Gore to reporters in 10/95     “   “I am not part of the problem. I am a Democrat.”   „     — – Vice President Al Gore     “   “A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.”   „     — — Vice President Al Gore     “   “When I have been asked who caused the riots and the killing in L.A., my answer has been direct & simple: Who is to blame for the riots? The rioters are to blame. Who is to blame for the killings? The killers are to blame."   „     — – Al Gore     “   “Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it.”   „     — – Vice President Al Gore, 5/20/96     “   “We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur.”   „     — — Vice President Al Gore, 9/22/97 Previous Quote | Next Quote

Some argue that most of these are just Dan Quayle quotes with the names changed, but nobody gives a shit.

Videos

algore.exe South Park leaked footage of him Top 10 Idiotic Quotes Final Fight "Algore the Donkey who's full of Hot Air" by A. A. Milne Previous Video | Next Video

Gallery

Goreophobia Scrapbook About missing Pics

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  The Dark Lord
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  Gore rolling in his own smugness
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  Gore shows how he can save the Earth with his bare hands
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  One of Gore's groupies

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

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  Gore casts a spell over his Earth children
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  Female version of the Manbearpig
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  Gore making an energy ball using the soul of a child
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  Gore only hours after the blessed event of motherhood.
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  Bucket Gore.
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  So totally Not Gay~
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  Al Gore- The Original [[Wapanese]
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  By your powers combined, I am...
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  Recently, Gore totally pwnd Charlton Heston for the lulz.
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  Gore gives himself a high five after winning first prize in the Miss World contest
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  Gore is a frequent guest on the Simpsons (although "Scorpion0422" ignores this fact).
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  Plz refrain from angering Al.
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See Also

• Environmentalism
• Greenpeace
• Global Warming
• Bill Clinton
• South Park
• Futurama - He had several cameos in this show. Srsly.
• Internets
• Cereal Cat
• Cereal Business
• Climategate
• Mo Brooks
• Omarosa
• User:AlGore - No relation.

Links

• Angry Al Gore
• Official Manbearpig Web Site
• Scientists successfully create human-bear-pig chimera (for real!)

	Al Gore is part of a series on Fox News [Back to The StudioOver To You]
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Al Gore is part of a series on Politics.

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Al Gore is part of a series on The History of The Lulz

[Shut UpSing Me The Song Of My People] In Chronological Order 399BC: First recorded troll-banning 0AD: Knock knock! Who's there? It's Jesus, LOL 571: Birth of Muhahahahahammed 600: Blood orgies 1077: Invention of the meme archive 1100: DEUS VULT! 1337: Start of the Hundred Years War 1492: The Americas are culturally enriched 1573: Tycho doesn't invent the funny webcomic 1605: Guy Fawkes invents terrorism. 1789: The beret is mightier than the crown 1801: Invention of the Triforce 1850: World's first OH EXPLOITABLE image 1865: End of the Nigger Market 1877: Trolling world record broken 1888: First successful mixing of hookers and lulz 1914: World War 1 1927: Teh f1rst sk00l sh00ting 1939: World War 2 1944: The Lollercaust doesn't happen 1945: "Nag? Naga? Well... it's nagonna be there tomorrow that's fore sure." - Harry S Truman 1948: Best Korea is founded (along with Good Korea) 1955: America gets BTFO 1960: Awesomeness of swords discovered 1963: CIA did JFK 1987: First televised An Hero 1993: World Wide Web becomes available, Waco 1999: Counter Strike played IRL 2000: End of teh world due to computer errors. 2001: Bush, Saudis, and Jews do WTC 2004: ED founded 2005: Katrina and 7/7 2007: Cho Seung-Hui becomes the King of School Shooters 2011: Utoya Island Swimming School is opened 2013: ISIS founded 2014: Beta Uprising begins 2015: Paris Attacks 2016: Donald Trump is elected president of the United States. (For the lulz.) 2017: Country music is back 2019: First livestreamed kebab removal 2024: Healthcare rage done right

Al Gore is part of a series on Truth Visit the Truth Portal for complete coverage.

Featured article August 10, 2008
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