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User:Stoic Sigma 2/Sandbox

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If any of these drafts inspire you, feel free to fill out these articles before I can.

John Edward Robinson

John Edward Robinson
Born December 27, 1943 (82 years old)
Nationality: Americunt  
Highscore Killed 7
Top 50? Nope
Style Tactical Espionage Action, Single Player
An Hero? Nope
Motive Sexual sadism

The first internet serial killer.

See Also

Michael McDermott

Michael Morgan McDermott
Born September 4, 1958 (67 years old)
Nationality: Americunt  
Highscore Killed 7
Top 50? Nope (#1 in Massachusetts)
Style FPS, Single Player
An Hero? Nope
Motive Fake schizophrenia

Massachusite mass shooter who tried faking schizophrenia in order to get away with it but was quickly disproven from his internet search history.

Loadout

Class Setup
Item Accessories/Bonus
  • Primary: AK-47
  • Secondary: 12-Gauge Winchester 1300
  • Tertiary: 32-Caliber Retolaza
  • Perk: Going Postal
  • Increased damage against Delivery/Postal Office workers if recently fired from such services
  • Player moving speed cuts a half
    Difficulty climbing fences and walls
    Stamina stats cut a half.
    Jumping height reduces a third. Divides a double or triple if they are obese.

North Hollywood shootout

Lose an iPod?

This page contains an hero.
Lose an iPod to the pigs?

This page contains an police hero.
Larry Eugene Phillips Jr. and Decebal Ștefan Emilian "Emil" Mătăsăreanu
Born September 20, 1970 (Phillips)
July 19, 1966 (Mătăsăreanu)
Died February 28, 1997 (aged 26 and 30)
Nationality: Americunt   (Phillips)
Romanian   (Mătăsăreanu)
Highscore Injured 20
Top 50? Nope
Style FPS + Payday: The Heist, Co-Op
An Hero? Yes (Phillips)
No (Mătăsăreanu)
Motive Robbery

Loadout

Larry Phillips
Item Accessories/Bonus
  • Primary: Norinco Type 56S
  • A cheap Chinese civilian model AK-47. These ones have been illegally modified to fire at full auto.
  • Secondary: Norico Type 56S-1
  • Whatever the difference is. Also illegally modified to fire full auto with infinite ammo turned on. Complete with several 75 to 100-round drum magazines and 30-round box magazines.
  • Tertiary: Heckler & Koch HK91
  • Semi-automatic rifle with several extended 40-round box magazines.
  • Quaternary: Beretta 92FS
  • An heroing device also equipped with serval magazines used by Phillip.
  • Quinary: Body Armor
  • Well-endowed in aramid and steel plating covering all vital areas except the head. Capable of deflecting most ammo types.
  • Perk 1: Stopping Power
  • Increases bullet damage to ræp the enemies.
  • Perk 2: Sleight of Hand
  • Nigh infinite ammo.
  • Perk 3: Height
  • Larry towers over enemies at 6 feet tall. (+15% movement speed) (+35% intimidation success)
Emil Mătăsăreanu
Item Accessories/Bonus
  • Primary: Norinco Type 56S
  • Another one for the homeboy. Also illegally modified to do full auto fire.
  • Secondary: Bushmaster XM-15 E2S Dissipator
  • Also modified to do full auto fire and equipped with two 100-round Beta-C Magazines and fitted with a M16A1-style handguard.
  • Tertiary: Body Armor
  • Well-endowed in aramid and steel plating covering all vital areas except the head. Capable of deflecting most ammo types.
  • Perk 1: Stopping Power
  • Increases bullet damage to ræp the enemies.
  • Perk 2: Sleight of Hand
  • Nigh infinite ammo.
  • Perk 3: Height
  • Emil towers over enemies at 6'3". (+15% movement speed) (+35% intimidation success)
  • Player moving speed cuts a half
    Difficulty climbing fences and walls
    Stamina stats cut a half.
    Jumping height reduces a third. Divides a double or triple if they are obese.

Graded Score

Graded Score
Kill count: 0/20 20 injured.
Accuracy: 1/20 Fired ~1,100 shots and didn’t even kill anyone.
Style: 20/20 Kitted out enough to take on an army.
Butthurt: 20/20 The reason cops have semi-automatics in their trunks today.
Bonus: 20/20 Awesomeness
Total Score: 61/100 (C)
I can’t think of anything
See full ranking


Wanted Level:

S.W.A.T. Team


Isabelle Valdez & Lois Lippert

Isabelle Valdez and Lois Lippert
Nationality: Americunts  
Highscore Killed 0, injured 0
Top 50? Nah
Style Hack'N'Slash, Co-Op
An Hero? Unfortunately, no
Motive Resurrect Adam Lanza

2 ugly bitches that wanted to resurrect Adam Lanza by killing a classmate that allegedly looked like him. Their plan was foiled and they were captured laughing about it on police cams. The lulzy part? Since they were laughing about it, they got v& for 900 years.

Lois Lippert (the skinny one) was well-respected for drawing Columbine art on Tumblr under the name "Foxfever" and was a big fan of Zero Day.

Loadout

Isabelle Valdez
Item Accessories/Bonus
  • Primary: Sacrificial knife
  • Spell: Orison to Adam Lanza
  • Player moving speed cuts a half
    Difficulty climbing fences and walls
    Stamina stats cut a half.
    Jumping height reduces a third. Divides a double or triple if they are obese.
Lois Lippert
Item Accessories/Bonus
  • Primary: Sacrificial knife
  • Perk: Tumblrina
  • Spell: Orison to Adam Lanza

See Also

Pedro Rodrigues Filho

WARNING:

With Portuspics,
Suck on dicks!

Pedro Rodrigues Filho
Born October 29, 1954
Died March 5, 2023 (aged 68)
Nationality: Brazilian  
Highscore 71 confirmed kills; potentially 100+
Top 50? 21st
Style Tactical Espionage Action, Single Player
An Hero? Não
Motive Revenge

Former serial killer turned let's player.

Robert Dorgan / Roberta Dorgano

Lose an iPod?

This page contains an hero.
Lose an iPod to transphobia?

This page contains someone who was Stunning and Brave.
Roberta Dorgano
deadname: Robert K. Dorgan
Born July 15, 1969 (nice!)
Died February 16, 2026 (aged 56)
Nationality: Amerikaner  
Highscore Killed 3, injured 2
Top 50? Nope, just another tran hero
Style FPS, Single Player
An Hero? Yes
Motive Family issues

Roberta Dorgano⚧ (Deadname: Robert K. Dorgan) was yet another tranny mass shooter who, just 6 days after Jesse Strang, sought to return the tranny high score back to the Americans by killing his ex-wife and her family, including his son. What makes Robert(a) stand out (and we're not talking about him being a fugly gigahon in a dress and sweatpants) is his idiosyncratic beliefs. Despite being a tranny, he was also a right-wing groyper and had a sleeve deco'd in Nazi tattoos.

Loadout

Class Setup
Item Accessories/Bonus
  • Primary: 10mm Glock 29SF Gen 3 semi-automatic pistol
  • Secondary: .357 SIG Sauer P226 semi-automatic pistol
  • Perk: Tranny
  • Spell: Groyper

Graded Score

Graded Score
Kill count: 3/20 2 injured
Accuracy: 12/20 3/5
Style: 3/20 Played Hitman and couldn't even eliminate all targets.
Butthurt: 5/20 You could say he broke the ice on violence committed by transsexuals.
Bonus: 5/20 Crossdressing Nazi
Total Score: 28/100 (F)
"Keep bashing us. but do not wonder why we Go BERSERK"
See full ranking

Wanted Level:

Police Force


See Also

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