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Jennifer Strange

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Trim-spa!
What she should have done.

Jennifer Strange, a mother of three children, was killed by water the morning of Friday, January 11th. Known in the local community for her desire for water sports, her kids are now motherless. Just imagine what they will say at school when their buddies ask them "How did you mother die?".

A desperate mother, she entered a Sacramento-area radio station's contest in order to procure a Wii. In a stroke of sublime genius which can only be invented by the creative types at a morning show in a mid-sized, American city, the contest was entitled Hold Your Wee For A Wii.

The 20-individual contest was composed of the types of individuals you'd expect at what is, in its essence, a game of humiliation. Participants were expected to continually imbibe water while holding it in, until giving up.

   
 
"I thought it was just water that it would just flush out my body. I just assumed that because it was a contest, everything would be checked out."
 

 
 

—Elidia Campos, contestant and noted retard

Eventually contestants began dropping out of the contest, unable to consume more water. Jennifer was one of two finalists, but failed in her quest to obtain the Wii for her children. After returning home, she called in sick to work, and then DIED, only to be found by her mother that afternoon.

The Aftermath

  • KDND, many days later, fired 10 employees involved in the "Morning Rave" show, and issued an apology.
  • The family of Jennifer Strange got $16,500,000.00 from the radio station.
  • And nothing of value was lost.

See Also


Jennifer Strange
is part of a series on
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