Generation Alpha

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What a funny way to parent your child!

A typical Generation Alpha child.

Generation Alpha (or iPad kids) is a generation of brain-dead newfags birthed between the years 2013 and 2025. Following the eventual death of the Gen Z age, Gen Alpha was spawned. Caused by years of irresponsible parenting, members of Gen Alpha are known to have an extremely retarded sense of fine motor skills and are unable to understand their environment, rarely agreeing with the outside world unless it was proven true by social media apps. The prime years of Gen Alpha will start between 2038 and 2049, making them more noticeable than Gen Z in the future. Zalphas (born from 2006 to 2015) will have the prime years of both Gen Z and Gen Alpha. They will probably make Skibidi Toilet shit during wars instead of tanks and be CEOs of retarded brainrot-related corporations.

Unfortunately, many of these individuals have reached the age of inhabiting the 6th and 7th grades (the oldest of the bunch are now 12 years old) But when they're not at school, it is essential for them to cozy on in, play Roblox first-person shooters, and watch YouTube Kids, Cocomelon, and Skibidi Toilet on their bacteria-infested iPad screens, all while their own parents occupy themselves with devices.

And as for Gen Beta – they just started being born. God only knows what their humor will be like.

Faggotry

They seem to be the faggier younger siblings of younger zoomers. The Generation Alpha influencers are mainly retarded toy channels made by their parents. However, as the oldest Gen Alphas start becoming teenagers around 2026, that might change and a new era of JewTube and/or ShitTok might begin.

Education

As schools become more retarded, this generation becomes more retarded as well. With the increasing trend of addiction to technology (especially iPads), some kids don't even know how to read or write by the time they're a teenager.

Notable members of Gen Alpha

• People in elementary/middle school
• Half of the Skibidifags
• The Rizzler
• Half of the Sigma Boy Russians (1 is late Gen Z, 1 was born in 2013)
• Half of the Costco Guys (1 is Gen X, 1 is his son who was also born in 2013)

And others that nobody gives a shit about.

See Also

• Uvalde School Shooting - The proper way to deal with Gen Alpha kids.
• Children - Who all Gen Alphas are as of 2025.
• Gen Z - Their older siblings, sometimes parents.
• Millennials - Their parents.
• Gen X - Sometimes their parents.
• Baby Boomers - Their grandparents.

Generation Alpha is part of a series on Social Media Visit the Social Media Portal for complete coverage.

Generation Alpha is part of a series on Generations.

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Baby Boomers • Generation Snowflake • Generation X • Millennials • Generation Z • Generation Alpha • Le wrong generation