Encylopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/September 4, 2025

CandyJunkie

Candyjunkie, whose real name was Abraham Biggs, (moar liek Jewbraham Niggs, amirite?) was a young nigra living in Miami, Florida. He thus presents an odd example of a suicide. It is, among niggers, extremely rare as they typically die in gang fights and KFC robberies (or both at once, for several gangs often attempt to steal chicken from said restaurant at the same time) before being able to kill themselves. Abraham, however, is what is known as an Oreo (white on the inside) or HALFRICAN AMERICAN, and as such, did what many whites do: he took large amounts of anti-depressants, chugged NyQuil and cried on internet forums. Eventually, young Abraham's genes betrayed him, and he chose to follow in the footsteps of Sean "Diddy" Combs by copying a white man who had played the same tune before him.

As Abraham had attempted to OD before, he foresaw little difficulty, but things got too real, too fast. Perhaps the funniest part of Abraham's suicide was that even though he had been dead for several hours, the cops still pulled their guns TASERS on him, which proves that even in a post-Obama America, you still CAN'T BE TOO FUCKING CAREFUL.

(( The Worst Part Was, No One Took Him Serious And Ignored Him ))

What have I missed?	Kill count by website 2 days ago	Rick and Morty 4 days ago	Kingcobrajfs 6 days ago