Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/May 12, 2026
Cummunism is the belief that young hooligans who never have read a book are best fit to rule a country. Its proponents are school yard outcasts, scarecrows, people with a meanness-complex, butthurt Iranians, men with a curved micro penis, tall people who want to fuck midgets, 13-year-old boys who's computer screen is stained from the amounts of masturbating they have done while watching videos of Stalin give speeches on people who were relatively poor in their childhood. Invented by Karl Marx last thursday, cummunism is the final form of liberalism, the arch nemesis of capitalism and some people say is the reason why America is #1 and why the rest of the world sucks. Under communism, there is no need for money, because all goods needed to support life are free, which by "free" means you never actually get what you need and the bastards at the Party bathe in your hard-earned cash. This is why Communism failed: everybody loves money. Communism was first theorized with the brick lit. convoluted multi volume Das Kapital, which was written by Karl Marx at least 100 years ago before Marx realized that illiterate peasants weren't going to read convoluted multi volume books of political theory, so condensed it to a pamphlet named Communist Manifesto. It led to two paradigms we have today: Writing TL;DR-texts and the tradition of economists to tell incomprehensible lies and flavor them with arcane math.
—Vladimir Lenin on the purpose of his life in general. | ||
Lenin first turned communism into practice by establishing circle jerks known as Soviets throughout Russia (Soviet is Russian for council). He feigned his death and got replaced by a pretty cool guy known as Stalin, who turned everything into a dicktatorship. When Lenin comes back, he will start a society consisting of "real" communism as opposed to the one that has been practiced in Afghanistan, Albania, Angola, Benin, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Bulgaria, Cambodia, China, Cuba, Congo, Croatia, Czechoslovakia, Ethiopia, Germany, Hungary, Kosovo, Laos, Macedonia, Mongolia, Montenegro, Mozambique, North Korea, Poland. Romania, Russia, Serbia, Slovenia, Somalia, Yemen and Vietnam.
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