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Billie Eilish
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|---|---|
| Billie Eilish | |
| Born | December 18, 2001 (23 years old) |
| Nationality | Americunt 
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| Ethnicity | White devils |
| Gender | Female |
| Occupation | Singer |
Billie Eilish Pirate Baird O'Connell is an ugly ass snowflake who specializes in writing shitty songs and has a fandom full of other fat ugly dykes. She went from writing a song about how oceanic her eyes were when she was just a little girl trapped inside the closet, to being as sexually degenerate about women as possible after her secret got leaked to the world after she couldn't control her mouth and clit during an interview. Who would have thought that this was what the stress of teenage popularity could do to someone who had to lie to the world about being heterosexual in order to get the best treatment in the industry?
Descent into sexual deviancy
It all started when little Billie got addicted to porn at the age of 11 in an attempt to be like the "cool" kids. She would watch it so much that it eventually corrupted her brain into thinking about nothing but sex, accidentally programming her brain into a vicious cycle of cringe-worthy sexual comedy. Speculation around Eilish's sexual orientation began when she released the music video for the single "Lost Cause" in 2021, where Billie unleashed her inner incel for the first time ever by going to an all-girls slumber party, where it appeared that all the girls were molesting each other, doing sexually provocative dances as if they came in like wrecking balls. This lead to angry heterosexuals and people struggling with internalized homophobia to accuse her of queerbaiting like they did when she wrote a song about wanting a boy who had the audacity to want to slap his dick on her ass to slap it onto the ass of another boy. In response, Eilish posted behind-the-scenes pictures from the video on Instagram with the caption "I love girls". That's all she had to say... for now.
After so many accusations of queerbaiting, Billie's secret of being interested in women was revealed by Variety in November 2023 when of course she wasn't ready to tell the world about her depraved desires up until the next year, when she came clean about getting more sexual tensions than incels do when seeing women. From wanting her face in a vagina to masturbating in front a mirror, one has to wonder why people constantly sexualize her. Right after making a vow to never speak about her sexuality ever again, she went on to say that she had "lots of good sex" throughout 2024, the same year her fat femcel ass brutally raped all our ears by writing a nasty song, comparing licking the pussy of some random woman to eating a delicious meal. Who knows how much period blood she was drinking after telling the world how much she likes women and hates the fact that not everyone has the same level of sexual desire and lust she does?
— Billie raping the living shit out of women with her thoughts | ||
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Billie's hatred against men
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Billie was trapped inside a closet repressing her nasty desires for women at the time she wrote this dumb song about wanting someone to be gay. But wait! She didn't write this song about how much she wants a girl to bump coochies with her. No, no! In her mind, the inspiration was a tragic tale of unrequited love, where the villain was none other than a boy who had the audacity to find her interesting. Oh, the horror! She felt so objectified, like a piece of meat at a barbecue, that she just had to channel her feelings into a shitty song whining about how she wished the boy played for the dicks instead. But wait! Her man-hating doesn’t end there! She also thinks men are immune to body shaming. Ironic coming from someone who can’t stand it when people comment on her fridge bod built like a mother who has more than one child. You know, the kind of body that has seen a few too many midnight snack runs and pizza parties? But here’s the kicker: she’s convinced that while she’s out here dodging the harsh judgments of society like a contestant on a reality competition show, men are just strolling through life, blissfully unaware of the pressures of body image. Imagine it! Men, with their six-pack abs and chiseled jaws, prancing around as if they’re not also subject to the wrath of the societal beauty standards. Meanwhile, Billie’s over here, pen in hand, composing an anthemic battle cry for all the girls who have ever felt like they were just a little too fat n' ugly for people who prefer the stick thin models, ignoring the many men who struggle with body image and disregarding the pressure men face to look like they took a whole bunch of steroids.
— As if Billie looks any better than whoever she said this to | ||
One day, one of her many simps asked her whether or not Billie is still affected by body shaming. Her response? She shared FAT FETISH ART out of her with the caption "you mean this?" Fans were confused as hell as to what Billie was trying to say. Could it be that she thinks it's body shaming to draw her as a disgustingly obese slob? Could it be that she gets hot and bothered by fantasies of herself being really fat? Well, as we mentioned before, Billie thinks masturbation is a very important part of life. Yet she seemed quite horrified and possibly turned on at the same time that the sick fucks who fap to My 600 Pound Life even found her sexually attractive enough to make crappy drawings of her surpassing both the stars of that show and CaseOh in weight!
Trying to cover up her racism
—Billie suffering from internalized white people hatred as she scratches her nasty coochie | ||
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In addition to that, she likes to talk like a sassy black girl who likes to dip fried chicken in a cup of cum as the sauce after sucking on the tip of the bone. One time, she was vlogging on Instagram, and her big soyboy brother, Finneas, called her out for it. Hilariously, she claimed to have the backs of minorities despite being in a relationship with Matthew Tyler Vorce, a man who was a whole ass decade older than her, who openly used the "N" word, trashed people for being interested in butt sex, and caused Adele 's eating disorder by comparing her to Miss Piggy from The Muppets.
External links
Billie Eilish is part of the following series:
