King Of The Nerds

The King Of The Nerds or as most people refer to him publicly as Erotic Joe is the one true Sovereign Lord of all Nerds that will rise up during the darkest hours of nerdom and will lead his brethren Geeks, Nerds, Spazzes and Losers to the mystical plains of Big Booby Island, hidden well away on Jupiter's water moon of Europa, that is populated solely by hot, big titted easy women that get turned on by gamers and like making sammiches for them as was prophesized in the Dead Sea Scrolls over 2,000 years ago.

An artistic imagining of the women populating Big Booby Island An artistic imagining of the women populating Big Booby Island All day the girls practice, waiting for men. All day the girls practice, waiting for men.

All Hail The King

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The First requirement, be French and make it look cool The First requirement, be French and make it look cool Vive le Québec libre! Canada will fall before Quebec. Vive le Québec libre! Canada will fall before Quebec.

Before we begin, it should be noted that King If The Nerds is a positive title and one that is respected by all that he rules. On the other hand, Lord Of The O-Rings is the antithesis of the title King Of The Nerds and the one any and all should dread being named because much like being named as that guy in High School that shits his pants, it is a name that no one ever lives down.
King Of The Nerds is rather a prophesy that is fulfilled rather than a title that is given. As it is written in the Dead Sea Scrolls there are a series of events that must come to pass before the one Great Nerd will be named and code-writers, gamers and Sci-Fi fans will be whisked away to the promised land of Bib Booby Island.
The first of these prophesies state that this future king must be French or born in a French land and make being French look cool.
The second great requirement states that the foretold must overcome the disability of living in a Canadian Providence and get laid.
A third, and possibly the greatest quest to be completed states that the King Of The Nerds will be the one hero who is capable of drawing the Quaking Sword Of Plastic from GirlVinyl's ass and use it in leadership to defeat the Socialist Republic of Canada is the name of Quebec.
When all of these things have come to pass every nerd will be lifted into the sky and taken to their promised land in the sky.