Jews

Jews (also known as: Kikes, Hebes, Hymies, Yids, Bankers, Financiers, Nosedniggers, Gold Niggers, Oven Magnets, Oven Dodgers, Big Noses, Sheenies, Swindlers, Criminals, Firewood, Arabs in Denial, Thieves, Moes, and filthy fucking scum who need to be wiped off the Earth) are a sub-human species of extraterrestrial reptilians and adherents to one of the world's oldest religions, called "Judaism", also known as "The Worship of Money" and "Ritual Infant Sacrifice". Some famous Jews include: everyone who works on television, in movies, in radio, and in print media.

Judaism was the world's first master race theory. The Jew religion teaches that Jews are the Chosen People of God and that there is a sacred mystical quality to Jew DNA. In olden times, Jew prophets would, under the command of YHWH, frequently lead the Jews on genocidal rampages against neighboring populations, and even today leaders in the Jew state of Israel often cite Jewish religious ideals to justify their ongoing genocide of sandniggers. Judaism ironically found its mirror-image inversion in the anti-Jew Aryan racialism of the Nazis. But this is all bullshit, since there's no pure Jewish left as they all mixed with white people, niggers, niggers, arabs (they're the same as the arabs, lol), slavs. In addition, according to studies ashkenazi jews's male haplotype is mideastern while the female side european.

Despite only being 0.19% of the world's population, Jews control 99% of the world's money. (See: Rothschild, Warburg, etc.) They also control the media, the banks, LiveJournal's porn and gay communities, textbook publishers, music (especially rap), gold, and diamonds. And no, we're not fucking joking about this. If you don't believe that Jews control everything, just look up a list of Media Jews or finance Jews on Google. Or just look at the always disproportionate number of Jewish names in the governments of the West. Case in point, Roman Polanski and and Jeffrey Epstein got off without serious punishment for raping little girls (as recommended in their holy book, the Talmud), something a goy would have done serious pound-me-in-the-ass prison time for. The Jews use the money to fund their militarized colony of Israel, a Jewish state created in the Middle East, which Jews consider the Promised Land. The Arabs don't think so, so Israel has fought many wars, and has turned the Jews into a warrior race as well as a scummy thieving one. Basically, the only part of the world that's not controlled by the Jews is Asia, because the Muslims don't tolerate their kike bullshit and the only way for Jews to hold them down is to send the Israel Defense Forces to buttfuck them, and the Chinese are the only race with potential to out-Jew the Jews and actually threaten them.

All Jews possess the following features: Big, hooked noses; Sloped Foreheads; A flattened rear skull; Evil-looking eyes; Horns (according to the Bible); The ability to scream "anti-semitism!" in 14 different languages; Curly hair; One of those gay hats; USI; A love of coke (when it can be found cheaply enough); A law practice; A persecution complex; A roll of (someone else's) money; An obsession with killing Muslims; shitty taste in dental hygiene.

Jews invented both Communism and Capitalism. Karl Marx, of course, was a jew, which was why he understood money so well, and in fact he was converted to Communism by another Jew, Moses Hess, the actual founder of Zionism, who ghost-wrote Marx's The German Ideology. Modern Capitalism was created when Christian Europeans threw away their morals and decided to embrace Jewish practices like usury (see: John Calvin). Jews were the first group to create a sophisticated banking system, which they used to finance the Crusades in order to pit Christians and Muslims (both adhering to religions derived from Judaism) against each other to kill as many people as possible in a macabre human sacrifice to YHWH.

The Jew banking system was based on fraud and lies, so when it inevitably collapsed, the Jews just pwned as many people as possible by unleashing the Black Plague on them. Later, Jews economically controlled medieval Venice (the first modern maritime trade empire), and then crypto-Jewish merchants economically controlled the Spanish Empire, including the slave trade. Openly Jewish bankers orchestrated the Dutch Empire and founded Jew Amsterdam (later Jew York). Later the Dutch Jews moved to London because they thought it would be a better base for a global empire, and actually brought a Dutch nobleman, William III, with them, who they installed in a coup d'état (more like Jew d'état, amirite?) as new King of the British Empire. For hundreds of years, Jewish bankers controlled global trade through their bases in Jew York City and London. European colonialism was, through its history, essentially a plot whereby Jews could gain control of gold and diamond mines in poor countries and increase their stranglehold over the global economy.

At this point, the average person might say, "Wait a minute... that sounds like a conspiracy theory!!! One small race couldn't possibly be responsible for so much evil!" Well, here's a fun fact: in 1913, Jews seized control of America's sovereign power to control its own currency by establishing the Federal Reserve system (a parasitic ponzi scheme, modeled on the earlier Rothschild-dominated Bank of England, in which any dollar printed as legal currency is actually a dollar of debt owed, with interest, to the Jew-controlled private banks who own the shares of the regional Fed banks). The architect of this system was a Jew named Paul Warburg. Paul's brother, Max Warburg, worked directly under Hjalmar Schacht in Germany and directed the currency policies of the Third Reich that allowed Hitler to build his war machine. What's truly fascinating is that the Warburg family has a long history of grand-scale fraud -- the family was originally named del-Banco, and was the most prominent banking family in the Republic of Venice during that state's period of imperial supremacy in the 1400s. It's somewhat stunning to contemplate that it's not merely impersonal monetary systems that have existed for so many centuries, but in fact for over 500 years the same Jewish families have overseen them and maintained economic dominance.

Jews also enjoy slicing up baby penises for fun, some even enjoy sucking them. See below.

Some suggest that we should use Jews instead of dogs to sniff out large amounts of concealed cash or anything else worth smuggling at airports due to their sensitive Jew noses. Obviously, this is a horrible idea, because the pay is bad, and the dirty Kikes would probably form a union and demand moar money, thus increasing the burden on taxpayers everywhere.

Jews have also founded their own country, Israel, which is their base of operations.

Ancient

The Jews were summoned from Hell by the evil sorcerer named Abraham, who used them for profit. Through their entire history, the Jews have always been wandering. They wandered, from Mesopotamia, along the sea, running a lucrative grain business for a while, and finally settled in Egypt. The hard-working farmers of Egypt waged a massive uprising against the foreign usurers and speculators. In response, the Jews bred the super-Jew, Moses, who cast black magic spells summoning flocks of insects and frogs to make Egyptland a very unpleasant place. When this didn't work as planned, Moses spent time wandering around and building up his experience points, then cast a level 99 mass death spell which took a genocidal toll on the innocent Egyptian children. The murderous Jews escaped Egypt and plundered their way through the desert, finally settling in Canaan, which they called their "Promised Land" because their leaders said they heard voices in their heads telling them that. Upon settlement, the Jews mercilessly slaughtered Canaan's rightful inhabitants, claiming that they were following commandments from God.

Some argue there was a bit more subtlety to it all than just this, however -- including a long history of internal Jew-on-Jew drama, mutual extermination and conflicts, well-documented in many unreliable sources, most notably in the Old Testament. To begin with, infamous Cain once killed 1/4 of the entire Jew population of his day at once. Then here comes Moses, their greatest prophet. Who, according to holy Bible, was bloodthirsty maniac: “ He said to them, "Thus says the LORD, the God of Israel, 'Every man of you put his sword upon his thigh, and go back and forth from gate to gate in the camp, and kill every man his brother, and every man his friend, and every man his neighbor.'"

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— Exodus 32:27

Not only did he order sons of Levi to exterminate their brothers, but Moses had also established the world's first documented concentration camp, near the city of Kadesh, just after two years of wandering the desert and, unlike popular belief, Jews settled there for next 38 years of their so-called "desert wanderings". See Numbers and Deuteronomy books to clarify any details. Moses also had given Jews the infamous Ten Commandments, one of which says, "Thou shalt not murder" (Catholics changed it to "kill" but Jews originally had only "murder" that you can't do). There are, however, many exceptions to this Commandment, given by the jealous Jew-God himself: “ If your brother, your mother's son, or your son or daughter, or the wife you cherish, or your friend who is as your own soul, entice you secretly, saying, "Let us go and serve other gods" ... you shall not yield to him or listen to him; and your eye shall not pity him, nor shall you spare or conceal him. But you shall surely kill him; your hand shall be first against him to put him to death, and afterwards the hand of all the people

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— Deuteronomy 13:6-9

Thus, the renowned history of liberal Jewish tolerance towards others begins.

It takes an austere scientist, a lot of thinking, analysis, and comparison to extract the horrible and unbelievable truth from this so-called Holy Scripture, of which the aforementioned examples are barely a scratch. Surprisingly, the central holy text of Judaism (of which the Old Testament is a rework) displays Jew leaders of ancient times and kings as organized crime leaders, alcoholics, merciless murderers, and masterful deceivers — all the traits Jewish leaders have successfully carried through millennia to our own day. Unlike Jews, other neighboring nations and their leaders are portrayed in a much more decent way. Generally speaking, the Old Testament mainly covers such topics as incestuous relationships, civil wars, religious intolerance, mass murders, dishonesty and greed of Jews. You can find this out yourself, there is nothing that cannot be inferred from the holy texts using pen, calculator, and enough time. Thank heavens, such brilliant people exist. The translation to English is underway.

Modern 

Some time later, Hitler lost a bet with the Jews and had to give them all of Germany's gold which they used to make saunas in Poland. Though being the cheapass, gold-whoring bitches they are they cut corners and ended up using Zyklon B instead of water and accidentally pwned a couple hundred thousand Jews by 1945.

There are currently roughly a few million Jews worldwide, of which 90 percent live either in Florida; the Wedgwood neighborhood in Seattle; the Upper West Side of New York City (also referred to as "Jew York City" and "Hymietown"); and of course Northern Long Island, where they raise baby Jews on their golf courses (see also: Great Neck). Most are involved with the Illuminati in a conspiracy to spread international faggotry, thus they are responsible for every major war. It is rumored that the Jews, in fact, have penetrated the Freemasons and control them directly, using their influence to control American politics by proxy.

Jews are also known to troll for money. Most of a Jew's features are made due to the fact that Jews are greedy. If you care enough to look at a Jew's nose, it is insanely large. This is due to the fact that air is free. If you see anyone diving for, staring at, or rubbing money, they are Jews and be sure to let them know.

Jews are also known for their breeding habits, and produce large amounts of Jew spawn on a scale inferior only to the Catholics. Jews often rape their sisters and expect some welfare from it as well. They have one of the highest reproduction rates in the animal kingdom, which zoologists believe may be due to their large number of natural predators, e.g. every group of Arabs neighboring Israel. There are some, however, who speculate that modern condoms are simply too large for their teeny tiny cocks and that contraception should be adapted as to accommodate our poorly-endowed friends. The Holocaust™

What Holocaust...? The Holocaust is Jewish propaganda. Never trust a kike.... The holocaust conspiracy

When the jews realized they were better at lying than most people, they wanted to create the greatest lie ever known to mankind in the form of convincing everyone they Denial of armenian genocide

Proisraeli organizations, like anti Defecation League, often engage in denial of armenian genocide. They claim, that death of 1 500 000 armenians just in few weeks wasn't genocide or that armenians hugely exaggerated numbers just for profit.