Alan Rice

Alan Rice

Alan Rice is a morbidly obese, Gothic Scotsman from Dundee, United Kingdom. Alan is also very short at 5' 4.5" (164cm). Alan was discovered on a cosmetic leg lengthening forum called Make Me Taller, were he expressed his desire to be taller by having his legs surgically lengthened. Alan believes his height is root cause of all his problems in life, but the reality is the man suffers from a multitude of mental disorders that makes him an unsociable loser.

Alan is unemployed and appears to spend most of his time on the Internet. Little is known about why he is unemployed but he did admit to collecting welfare.

Social Life

Throughout 2012 and up until his disappearance in March 2013, Alan appeared to have very little in resembling a social life. The majority of his posts on make me taller were complaints about his non-existent sex life and his quest to get taller so he could find a women. Unfortunately, Alan has the gifted ability to repel women like no other man on this planet.

Alan has Asperger's syndrome and exhibits the following symptoms:

1. Has problems interacting socially; they may seem quiet or be called “loners”. Some people with AS can appear socially inappropriate or naive
2. Has problems with over elaborate or double meaning language and may interpret some things literally. Some people with Asperger Syndrome may need visual written back-ups and prompts.
3. Has problems grasping concepts that aren’t very black and white.
4. Tendency to discuss self rather than others.
5. One-sided conversations.
6. Obsession with specific, often unusual, topics.

Alan seems to blame his height for his virginity, but it's actually his incessant whining, obesity, male pattern baldness and Asperger's syndrome that also contributes to his general repulsiveness.

Physical Attributes

Alan is a dwarf at 5' 4.5". He is grotesquely overweight. Despite suffering from an image issue, he is repulsed by the thought of doing physical exercise. He wants to have cosmetic leg lengthening surgery to make himself 5' 8". It possible for him to lengthen further and look proportionate but this would require lifting weights - something which he vehemently opposes. So, yes, despite having an image problem, he is content with being a fat bastard.

Alan suffers from male pattern baldness. He opted for having all of his hair removed through laser surgery, which ruined any chance of him having his hair cloned with new cloning technology that currently being developed. The reason why he had his hair removed is because he wanted to permanently superglue his wig to his head.

Fashion Taste

Alan is a goth. He wears a black leather jacket, leather wristbands and paints his fingernails black. He looks like a freak, yet he wonders why he's still a virgin.

Alan has a shoe fetish, he wears boots with a 4" inch lift inside, making him his dream height of 5' 8". He would constantly derail threads by going on tangents (see: Asperger's syndrome) about his elevator shoes.

Alan admits he wears a girdle to hide his "beer-belly", as he likes to call it.

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