- Portals
- The Current Year
- ED in the News
- Admins
- Help ED Rebuild
- Archive
- ED Bookmarklet
- Donate Bitcoin
Contact an admin on Discord or EDF if you want an account. Also fuck bots.
Pete Davidson
|
| |
|---|---|
| Pete Davidson | |
| Born | November 16, 1993 (32 years old) |
| Nationality | Americunt 
|
| Ethnicity | White devils |
| Gender | Male |
| Occupation | "Comedian" |
Peter Michael Davidson is an American comedian, actor, and writer who thinks he can make us laugh at how "funny" he is, but ends up making us laugh at his stupidity. He began his career in the early 2010s with minor guest roles on Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Friends of the People, Guy Code, and Wild 'n Out before being hired as cast member on the painfully unfunny Saturday Night Live.
Life before fame
Pete's dad was a New York City firefighter for Ladder 118 who, along with the rest of his unit, crashed and burned during the September 11th Attacks in 2001. Daddy Davidson was last seen running up the stairs of the Marriott World Trade Center in Downtown Manhattan before one of the Twin Towers crumbled down from the impact of the airplane. Little Pete was so traumatized with the fact that he was going to grow up fatherless that he started to act out in school, ripping his hair out until he was bald. In October 2016, he revealed on The Breakfast Club morning radio show that he struggled with suicidal thoughts when he was younger and that the music of some walky talky chocolate rappist named Kid Cudi saved his life.
Pete being like the cool kids of 2014!
As Justin Bieber was acting out as a result of getting fucked in the ass P Diddy and having his butt cheeks violated by multiple celebrities, Pete decided to cater to all the people shaming Justin for having idiotic ways of coping with childhood rape by joing Comedy Central's roast of Justin Bieber. Luckily, Bieber found the roasts funny because he knew what a douchebag the pain from Diddy rubbing baby oil on his chocolate salty dick, preparing to shove it up Bieber's ass, was turning him into.
Relationshits
— How each relationship for Pete went in a nutshell | ||
Cazzie David
Cazzie Laurel David (born May 10, 1994) is some nepo baby scriptwriter and actress who co-created and co-starred in some obscure web series called Eighty-Sixed. From 2016 until Ariana miraculously seduced Pete away from Cazzie with her grande-sized sex drive, they were deeply enamored with each other. Pete was so obsessed with Cazzie that he had her cartoon likeness tattooed on his arm, her name inked on his ring finger, and her favorite emoji permanently etched on his skin. Cazzie, on the other hand, struggled to convey her genuine love for him and feared ending the relationship, recalling that Pete was threatening to audition for the Golden iPod Awards if she decided that she was going to dump him for being a borderline simp for her.
Eventually, David found the strength to initiate a breakup, but just days later, she called Pete back, admitting she had made a mistake because now he was moving to date someone with an even bigger following (and far more sexual desire) than her. Instead of giving into the option of taking Cazzie back, Pete gave into too much sex with Ariana and her powers of making any man that comes her way to think about nothing more than getting naked and under the covers with her. Under Ariana's spell, Pete told Cazzie that he was “the happiest he had ever been”, putting an end to his 2-year relationship with Cazzie, 2-days after Cazzie realized her mistake.
The next day, Cazzie discovered he was now with Putana Grande, having posted photos on Instagram showing that he had covered up his tattoos he got in honor of Cazzie. She was so heartbroken. On the flight to her sister’s college graduation, her father held her as she shook uncontrollably in his arms for the entire journey. In the hotel bathroom, she curled up, crying and using her vape pens. She awoke “screaming in agony,” with her father having to pull her from the bed to prevent her from spiraling further, reminding her that their ancestors survived to Holocaust.
Social media only compounded the pain Cazzie was feeling over time. On Instagram, Sluttiana's fandom full of jailbait in the process of getting virtually molested by their unexpected sugar daddies and faggots wearing all every layer of dick cheese they squirted during arousal were harassing Cazzie nonstop, saying shit like Davidson had upgraded from Walmart to Chanel. She struggled to stop the sickening footage playing in her mind of Gaveintosex and his new lover immediately falling in love, accompanied by audio of that grande putana's voice whispering sweet nothings in his ear, dubbed over his past declarations of love and trust to her.
— Cazzie on getting harassed by the Urinators | ||
In the end, Pete got lucky upon the fact that Cazzie didn't hate him entirely despite how much trouble his relationship with someone as devious as Ariana brought onto her path as the two have since rekindled their friendship after Mac Miller's suicide caused Ariana to dump Pete after only 5 months together, which lead to so many jailbait Urinators turning against Pete after initially opening warm, welcoming arms to him when he started dated their idol.
— Cazzie not being a bitter bitch like anyone else would after a breakup | ||
Ariana Grande
We already covered how that grande-sized disaster of a relationship went over here!
Kim Kardashian
Big booty Kim was so devastated with her divorce from that Hitler loving nigger, Kanye West, that she decided to say yes to a guy that was THIRTEEN YEARS HER JUNIOR. That guy, was none other than Pete Davidson, who failed to satisfy two more whores after Ariana. During an episode of Saturday Night Live which Kim Kardashian hosted on October 10, 2021, Davidson and Kardashian shared a kiss while playing Aladdin and Jasmine in a sketch. As usual, it was painfully unfunny and made us want to by a crap ton of memory bleach. As if that wasn't enough, Jasmine is only 15 according to the creator of Aladdin, and SNL thought it was brilliant to have a 40+ year old woman with a fatter ass than yo mama to portray her.
—What nice words Kanye had to say about SNL | ||
Previous Quote | Next Quote
Pete trying to act like Ken from the Barbie Movie
External Links
Know Your Meme Entry about him
|
Pete Davidson is part of a series on Visit the Television Portal for complete coverage. |
|
Pete Davidson is part of a series on Visit the Trolls Portal for complete coverage. |