Comedian

A comedian is a narcissistic psychopath who pathologically lies for a living -- much like lawyers, homosexuals, politicians, and homosexual lawyers turned politicians -- but their manipulation of people involves trying to make drunk people laugh to put future victims at ease. They want people to laugh at psychopathy instead of fear it, and also spread their lack of empathy to everyone else. Their primary weapon is lulling people into a sense of complacency, so they are a type of conman. Once they've built up enough laughs by stringing along an audience, they can publicly brag about their actual crimes and everyone thinks they're joking, those jokesters. Rather than flaunting their sick fuckery with letters to the media, they hide in plain sight on stage, making the public laugh at their crimes, always with the thrill that they are getting away with it.

This explains why no comedian has ever been arrested for murder, and even when hundreds of rape victims come forward the perpetrator can still laugh it off onstage ha ha ha. The Joker is the epitome of a comedian, and the role model of all comedians. The heroic death of Heat Legend was intended to shine a light on this monstrous profession, yet comedians still routinely operate with total freedom. No matter what crimes they commit or admit to, comedians can always say "it was just a joke." This is their get out of jail free card.

As a brotherhood of sick fucks (there are no female comedians), comedians will never turn each other into the police, but they will attack each other for coming up with the same lie independently. Females don't fully understand what being a comedian entails, telling the truth about your crimes but nobody believing you, and that is why they fail. All female "comedians" are either unfuckable hambeasts, dykes, ugly victims of child sexual abuse, or just turbo lush attention whores, and all of their "jokes" are required to be about sex and relationships, no exceptions. As IRL trolls, comedians predate trollface by at least 100 years.

Comedians often make ironic jokes and rant about life. Most fail at both. There are two types of comedians: Ones who are actually funny (lolz) and Dane Cook.

List of notable and/or notorious comedians

• Al Sharpton
• Andy Kaufman
• Bill Cosby
• Bill Hicks
• Dane Cook
• Donnie Davies
• George Carlin
• Jerry Seinfeld
• Jim Gaffigan
• Louis CK
• Michael Richards
• Sacha Baron Cohen
• Tom Green
• Zach Braff
• Demetri Martin