George Floyd

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George Floyd was an upstanding, intelligent, African American, porn actor, and a career criminal who died while being arrested in Minneapolis, Minnesota. His death was rather unremarkable in itself but sparked a months long nationwide protest the likes of which have not been seen in decades.

	“	I CAN'T BREEVE!	„
	—George Floyd shortly before dying of a fentanyl overdose

Death of George Floyd AKA Prelude to Butthurt

On the evening of May 25th, 2020, Floyd was drunk driving in Minneapolis when he felt the pang of one of many addictions he was nursing at the time, in this case being nicotine. Floyd was, unfortunately broke since his usual job of beating drunks, taking entry bribes from underage bar patrons, and acting in porn had been restricted to the recent plague of Chink AIDS.

Luckily for Floyd, he had utilized all the free time on his hands to learn how to use his $20 inkjet printer to copy himself a new source of income that even Warren Buffet would be envious of. After using said paper to acquire some smooth fine-cut Virginia richness he treated himself to a victory cigarette in contented bliss as he had finally unraveled the secrets of fractional reserve banking. In his mind, he was good as long as he didn't copy his last $20 more than 10 times. The store owners didn't see it that way and confronted Floyd, their fingers stained green with printer ink from the DIY cash they'd been handed. Being a thug, Floyd told them to fuck off, so fuck off they did and called for the assistance of some of Minneapolis' finest.

Several white supremacist doom marines led by officer Derek Michael Chauvin responded rapidly to the call. Their armored Dodge Charger plowed through numerous black children on the way to the scene. Upon approaching Floyd's vehicle they ordered him out. Floyd declined as he was busy nursing a puppy back to health. After the officers naturally shot the puppy, Floyd voluntarily began exiting the vehicle when he slipped on a banana peel and fell onto the cop's taser, which became lodged in his throat. Due to the fact he was high on fentanyl, cocaine and infected with the COVID-19 strain that only affects simians, Floyd's life was in grave danger. The heroic militarized white supremacist cops then assisted Floyd over to the curb where Chauvin did his best to dislodge the taser by using his knee to squeeze it back through Floyd's throat hole.

While Chauvin was rendering critical life-saving aid to Floyd, Floyd began desperately crying "I can't breev!", prompting Chauvin to kneel even harder on Floyd's neck in an effort to save his life. Several racist onlookers attempted to interfere with the delicate operation which only distracted Dr. Chauvin, who needed to apply his full concentration at the time. Sadly, his efforts were in vain as Floyd expired due to cardiac complications brought on by a fentanyl overdose.

When George Floyd's spirit left his body, dark ominous clouds quickly formed over Minneapolis. Rain began to pour as Chauvin shook his fist to the sky screaming, "WHY, WHY DID THEY HAVE TO TAKE THE BOY SO SOON!?"

The Chimp Uprising

Footage of Chauvin's heroic efforts were posted all over social media. Unfortunately for Chauvin, the cell phone video distorted the context of his actions and he was falsely accused of deliberately killing Floyd. With large swathes of America being bored from lockdown and recently out of a job, Niggers and SJWs took to the streets countrywide and proceeded to peacefully protesting against the perceived brutality. Within the space of a couple of weeks, the protests spread across over a dozen cities and escalated from the peaceful blocking off streets to encompass the peaceful destruction of property, the peaceful setting of fires and the peaceful liberation of flat screens, sneakers, prescription medication and Nintendo Switches from the oppressive clutches of capitalism. They even created their own country peacefully resulting in several deaths and at least several dozen rapes.

Gallery

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  Do a kickflip
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  He was Spider all along
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  Oh lawd!
• Who lives in a niggerhead under the sea?
  Who lives in a niggerhead under the sea?
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  If it exists
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  Phrenology predicted this
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  George Floyd was squished too much
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  Now in blow-up doll form!

See Also

• Nigger
• Poor People
• Police brutality
• Black Lives Matter
• Trayvon Martin
• Wrong Location Nigger

External Links

• Buy your own George Floyd sex doll here!

George Floyd is part of a series on Social Justice Visit the Social Justice Portal for complete coverage.

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George Floyd is part of a series of topics related to Black People☻