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Bestiality: Difference between revisions

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                     <!-- PUT YOUR FUCKING SMUT IN THE GALLERY YOU CLOSET-CASE FURFAGS-->
                     <!-- PUT YOUR FUCKING SMUT IN THE GALLERY YOU CLOSET-CASE FURFAGS-->


{{quote|<Drogo> haha dude my bird is masturbating.<br />
<garrett> hot<br />
<Anorov> wow<br />
<Drogo> he's rubbing his little bird dick on his swing and shit. there's a bell, too, so it's getting louder and faster|#ed, a cesspool of closeted furfags}}


[[Image:beastiality_acceptance.jpg|thumb|700px|center|HOW DARE YOU QUESTION [[Furry|OUR LIFESTYLES]].]]
[[Image:beastiality_acceptance.jpg|thumb|700px|center|HOW DARE YOU QUESTION [[Furry|OUR LIFESTYLES]].]]

Revision as of 01:11, 23 May 2011


   
“ 		 
<Drogo> haha dude my bird is masturbating.

<garrett> hot
<Anorov> wow
<Drogo> he's rubbing his little bird dick on his swing and shit. there's a bell, too, so it's getting louder and faster
 

„
  		 

—#ed, a cesspool of closeted furfags

HOW DARE YOU QUESTION OUR LIFESTYLES.
See Also: Furries - we'd merge their articles together but it would be too fucking long.

Bestiality is hilarious and the best thing that ever happened to mankind. It is the collaboration of rednecks and hippys artistically having sex with each other or animals (or interspecies dating) as others may put it. It is sort of like being a furry, only the animals are real, alive, and, chances are, don't want you shoving your penis in the ass of their fine fuzzy fundament.

Although it seems disturbing at first, bestiality can actually be fuck funny.

Many debates around the subject center on whether animals can consent to sex? Most normal people believe that no, animals cannot consent to sex. Is that correct? Some say no because even though the sick bastards knew the dog wasn't smart enough to recognize the fact that the peanut butter was on your balls, it still licked the peanut butter off by its own free will. Okay that means a two year old human just raped this dog! Video no longer exists. Apparently Youtube Isn't cool enough to host porn.

The Difference Between Zoophilia & Bestiality

File:275px-Leda.jpg
Since 1504

Nothing.

Some argue zoophiles are simply people who liek animals a lot - often developing romantic relationships with them. People who actually have sex with animals however practice bestiality. This is of course bullshit - in every sense of the word.

Because their relationship is not just about fucking, Zoos often feel a deep spiritual connection to the animals of their choice - most likely because they lust for their thick knotted cocks in place of their own tiny wart-covered dicks.

Since zoos claim not to have sex with animals the issue of consent is not a problem - most zoos just rape their pets. Unlike the bestiality crowd they aren't stupid enough to brag about it. Not surprisingly this page isn't as popular as the other pages because zoos claim they don't liek teh sex. The knot makes them bleed. Sorry readers, you'll have to lurk moar for material to fap to.


Drama Llamas

File:Green booster's character.gif
That's what happens when a llama and a penis crossbreed...

Most participants in bestiality (meaning direct bestiality, not indirect like disgusting furries) make largely the same excuses as teh gheys, teh polyamorous, teh pedophiles, teh stoners, teh intentional fatties and teh White Supremacists: That it was intended to be that way from the beginning, and that there is absolutely nothing wrong with it, and that anyone who thinks any different is obviously a Hitler-worshiping Nazi with a lifelong determination to quell and oppress those who disagree with them. Like these other groups, bestial freaks (like WolfJLupus) devote their ENTIRE JOURNAL TO TALKING ABOUT IT, often taking several hours in a day to post about it. They make the same arguments about oral consent, maturity disparity and the role of sex in reproduction being irrelevant, and generally spend more time justifying their life than actually living it. This makes trolling a beastophile shockingly simple; just say something to the effect of "You do realize that you are sticking your cock into animals, right? Isn't that like, rape?" or "If animals don't have souls, how can they feel love for you?" The only exception is if they let male animals fuck them, in which case they're either fags in perpetual (and even more pathetic than usual) denial or soon to face life threatening complications of intestine trauma. The poor lol-cow will be helpless to do anything but fall into your trap; animal-rapers exist only to prove their point to everyone, and can't resist debating every dissenting voice that crosses their path.

File:Kardas-zoousa.jpg
A dog mongler's map of the USA. Go for blue!

Zoophilia is currently illegal in Canada, Netherlands, most of the United States, Australia (except for the ACT), and New Zealand. Almost 5 countries... out of 195. Not bad, for arrogant American moralfags.

Until recently, bestiality was legal in the state of Washington. This has been mentioned on Mind of Mencia and is why Mr. Hands is so famous. Thankfully for residents of the homeland of Jameth, bestilolity was outlawed in 2006. WolfJLupus then GTFO of the state.

Protip: In the United Kingdom, any animal that has died is classed as a foodstuff, regardless of what type of animal it is. It's not illegal to fuck food. If your pet dog was to have a fatal "accident" and you were to "accidentally" place your penis into its dead anus, that would be no more illegal than smearing jam on your cock.

Watching Horse Sex

File:PantyHorseCuddles.jpg
After the lovin'
Is this more bestiality or yiff?

For those perverted few who enjoy watching bestiality, here's a handy way to get your pr0nz for free.

1. Download a .flv player

2. Go to http://www.zootube365.com/

3. Right-click on the thumbnail for the vid and choose Copy Image Location.

4. Past the image Location into the address bar and hit enter: eg: http://mv2.zootube365.com/fl/0808/03/489590115e61a/preview_image_1028_489590dd9b178.jpg

5. Copy the numbers and charactors before the preview_image_xxxx_xxxxxxxxxxxxx.jpg eg: 489590115e61a

6. Past the just tcopied text to the endand remove th3e mv2. at the start: eg: http://zootube365.com/fl/0808/03/489590115e61a/489590115e61a

7. Add .flv to the end and hit enter: eg: http://zootube365.com/fl/0808/03/489590115e61a/489590115e61a.flv

8. ????

9. PROFIT

OR

You can save a shitload of time and just go to www.motherless.com

ζ

In an effort to hide their sick lifestyle, zoophiles often substitute the lowercase Greek letter Zeta (ζ) in their various internet profiles and lists of interests in lieu of DOG FUCKER. Searching for this symbol on various social networking sites can result in many lulz and a great list of potential targets.

YouTube videos dedicated to animal fuckers

They don't make cartoons like this anymore ...
Just about the most disturbingest thing ever.

Previous Video | Next Video

What? This article does not need any more bestiality pictures. We are not FurAffinity, not at all.
You can help by not adding anything, especially not bestiality pictures. We are not FurAffinity.
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

See Also

Beastiality is only okay if you are a liberal politician.
David Hasselhoff committing bestiality with two dogs.
David Bestiality is popular in sex education.

People:


Others:

furry.

OMFG how dare you invade your son's privacy! Don't you realise he's a curious young man with growing needs and desires?! I discuss dog-fucking with my friends at dinner - what's so weird about that?!!
Someone's been giving Koalas the clap, and Mr. Colbert is ashamed!.

Beastiality Free Love -- (They don't even know how to spell it correctly!) Billed and advertised as the site "...for all your beastiality needs." Actually an extreme anti-capitalist and anarchist site trying to use free porn to advance their sick cause. Claim they have over 100 links of the most taboo subjects on the Internet in the "1st Dogie Obedience Lesson" to absolutely "no cost any money" porn. EXCEPT child porn. They are lying. On the entire site they must have over 250 links just on free bestiality alone.

Bestiality
is part of a series on
Bad things that happen to animals
Basic Concepts [-+]

Animal Abuse • Bestiality • Furry • Hunting • Taxidermy

Meet the Menagerie:

Badgers • Bats • Bears • Bees • Birds • Bunnies • California Pet Laws 1/1/19 • Cats • Chickens • Chihuahuas • Cows • Crabs • Crows • Dinosaurs • Dogs • Ducks • Eagles • Fish • Foxes • Frogs • Giant Isopods • Octopuses • Pandas • Parakeets • Parrots • Penguins • Pigs • Rats • Sharks • Sheep • Snakes • Spiders • Turtles • Walruse • Wolves

Bestiality is part of a series on

Sex

Visit the Sex Portal for complete coverage.

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