Modern Warfare 3: Difference between revisions

Revision as of 15:51, 27 September 2011

STEP THE FUCK OFF!
Modern Warfare 3 looks like shit but it is NOT a {{crapstub}}. It is a work in progress!
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This article needs a serious clean up

Somebody should do something about it.

Modern Warfare 3 also known as Call of Booty: Modern Whorefare 3, Camp on Duty: The game 2, Cash Cow of Bobby Kotick's Duty 8 and Battlefield 3's little bitch is the upcoming successor to the best selling series Modern Warfare. Due to release months from now, Modern Whatever 8 is destined to be utter shit just like its predecessors.If you have played any of the other shit games NOTHING is changed,just like pokemon games.

Campaign

Boring. it also will contain Frenchies.

Spec Ops

Copy Pasta of Zombies but with mercenaries, roflcopters, and Juggernauts with the strength of an elephant and the cock of one to RAPE you and your gay partner's ass. You will most likely end up playing with a 5 year old online trying to tell you what to do the whole time while it is complaining about your lack of skills.

Multiplayer

All anyone cares about. Infinity Ward will introduce new game modes to further please the aspie and/or ADD ridden fan base that will reach out of sheer fanboyism to buy anything with "Call of Duty" or "Modern Warfare" branded to it.

tl;dr it's the same shit from the last 7 games but kids will still get their parents to buy it anyways.

Game modes

Team Deathmatch - Point and shoot at the opposite team. Just like before.

Kill Confirmed - A useless Copypasta of TDM, but you now have to pick up a downed teammate's dogtags to score points.

Capture the Flag - Run, walk, run some more, walk, repeat until you capture the flag. About 99.999999% of the time you will get killed by a camper/claymore upon touching it. (HOLY SHIT YOU HAVE TO WAIT ABOUT 2 SECONDS TO ACTUALLY GRAB THE ENEMY FLAG AND RESPAWN TIMES ARE AN HOUR LONG.)

Domination - Campfest. sit on a flag, it becomes yours, get killed. respawn and repeat!

Search and Destroy - AKA "Search and don't go for the objective" or "Trollfest". dont plant the bomb or you're a noob!

Team Defender - Capture the flag except you get points by guarding the flag carrier. Apparently so skillful.

One in the Chamber - OMG ITZ DA RETURN OF TEH MOST TENSESEST GAMEMODE IN YER LIEF!!!1!!!!ONE!!!!

Gun Game - Kill players to advance to other weapon tiers. Troll tip: Knife someone on their last tier to get a funny hate message!

Perks

Tier 1

Recon: Enemies that are hit by explosives show up on radar. Perfect for trolls and noobs.
Sleight of Hand: Allows you to fap faster than you can blink. Pro is practically useless as you ready grenades and other shit extremely fucking fast. Who needs that anyways?
Blind Eye: A Camper's perk. Covers you from Air support and sentries.
Extreme Conditioning: Allows you once again to run around knifing people like a cheap dipshit.
Scavenger: Pick up enemy ammo. Pro allows you to spawn with extra ammo and grenades. Why the fuck don't you anyways?

Tier 2

Quickdraw: Also known as Quickscoper helper! Pro allows you to ready grenades faster than you can blink.
Blast shield: Resist explosive damage. Useful for explosive spamming noobs protection.
Hardline: Killstreaks require 1 less kill. Once the game is released, find the cheapest killstreak, use this and turn the map into a shitstorm.
Assassin: Another camper's perk. Pro protects you from EVERY FUCKING KILLSTREAK EVER.
Overkill: Replaces secondary with other primary. Renders Machine pistols useless, probably won't be used as you're probably using an RPG, you cheap faggot.

Tier 3

Marksman: A perk made of hax, it's great for all the retards who need help just to use the fucking sights properly. Without the pro version, as a sniper you have the lung capacity of a lung cancer patient.
Stalker: Move fast while aiming. Apparently Infinity Ward thinks soldiers who carry 100s of pounds of armor are trained in the art of ballet.
SitRep: You see explosive positions. You may be able to avoid their claymores, but can you avoid walking into their shotgun barrels?
Steady Aim: Negates aiming completely. Just point in general direction and spray.
Dead Silence: You can't hear your own footsteps. But people will whore it out for earlier unlocks that are better than this pile of horse excrement.

Kill Streaks/ Strike Packages

Assault

Only allows you kill streaks to that pwns the other team and causes massive butthurt. When you die because you are too stupid to stay in the spawn trap, you will have to restart until you get that Juggernaut Suit kill streak.

UAV: A Crappy styrofoam plane that's smaller than your father's cock.
Care Package: Used by those who can't get a higher than 4 killstreak.
IMS: Targeting system. Will fuck you up.
Predator Missile:' AN UNHOLY BEACON OF DEATH AND DESTRUCTION THAT ONLY EXISTS TO FUCK YOUR SHIT UP! IT IS HEAVEN, IT IS HELL AND IT DOES NOT MISS!
Sentry Gun: Shoots enemies and is destroyed by one hit from your butter knife but can survive hundreds of .50 BMG bullets.
Prescision Airstrike: Useless killstreak is useless.
Attack Helicopter: A shitty roflcopter that flies around the map and has invincible pilots.
Strafe run: 5 Attack roflcopters that strafe bomb a location.
Little Bird Guardian: Covers you from enemies so you can earn moar killstreaks like a cheap jew.
Reaper: 5 whole predator missiles rape a location.
Assault Drone: A crappy targeting system which points out enemy locations.
AC-130: Another unholy beacon of death and destruction. Will definitely fuck you up every time when called in.
Pave Low: An upgrade of the Attack Helicopter.
Juggernaut: Gives you the effective strength of an elephant and the cock of one too.
Osprey Gunner: Pilot a roflcopter around the map.

Support

This shit gives you crappy kill streaks that only support your fellow teammates but the good part is that you may have a chance to obtain the Juggernaut recon suit this way. Plus even if you suck, you still continue on your same kill streak even after dying so many times.

UAV: Word for word above, a crappy styrofoam plane.
Counter UAV: Another shitty plane that blocks radar. Destroyed way to easy.
Ballistic Vest: Protects against bullets, but is useless since the enemy will be aiming for your head.
Airdrop Trap: Perfect for trolling the enemy.
SAM Turret: Copy pasta'd from Black Ops.
Recon Drone: Points out enemies on the map.
Remote Turret: Useless clone of the Sentry Gun. Is as easily destroyed.
Stealth Bomber: Will fuck over anyone who stands 50 feet from doorways.
EMP: Disables all equipment. Will be whored out for the EMP grenade.
Juggernaut Recon: 2 High health enemies with shitty AI go and rape the enemy.
Escort Airdrop: Emergency Airdrop under a new name. Same as the Care Package, but you get 4.

Specialist

Every 2 kills allows you another Tier perk (See Tiers above)until you reached 6 kills and then you can run around fapping with 6 tiers at once and once you die you have to restart and earn those tiers again.( Use this to troll in CTF or Domination.)

Death Streaks

Juiced: Used with Extreme Conditioning to have a temporary knifing class.
Revenge: You can see your killer on the radar. Will be the most used probably.
Final Stand: With the removal of Last stand, now this is the perk of people who play Headquarters.
Martyrdom: Useless as there's no more explosive increase perk.
Deadman's hand: A copypasta of Martyrdom.
Hollow points: A Stopping Power clone. Will last until you can buttrape your killer, if you can even get out of the spawn trap you idiot.

Weapons

Assault Rifles

Most commonly seen category of weapons in general.

M4A1: Infinity Ward at least got this shit stick's name right, but seriously this gun isn't even supposed to be in here as all US army units are equipped with shit like the SCAR-H/L by now, so how this gun is in the game is anyone's guess.

M16A4: As if two games weren't enough, this at least 100 year old fuckstick returns for another round of making rednecks cream themselves by pretending to be in the US military.

SCAR-L: Ctrl+C and Ctrl+V of the SCAR-H from MW2.

CM901: An unwelcome eurotrash copy of the M4A1. Infinity Ward could have done some research about replacing the M4A1 with this shit but the dev's were too busy fapping to gay porn to care.

Type 95: The very first chinafag gun in the CoD series. Though seriously it's shit.

G36C: This modern day Nazi weapon returns to shit all over Americunt markets and plug American whore's holes with their Nazi chrome-plated cocks of justice.

ACR: A faggy 'Murkan copy of the G36C that's somehow in the same game.

MK14: This shitty plywood with a trigger weapon should be classified as a pneumatic abortion device. At least in this game IW got the name of the MK14 rifle right instead of the non existent M21 EBR name. Once again this shows that Infinity Ward is slowly learning.

AK-47: Infinity Whore'd manages to rectify their great fuck up by making this shitstick not a last level reward, but it's unlocked at such a high level that it's still a very uncommon weapon on the battlefield, unlike IRL.

FAD: Looks, sounds, and preforms like a fresh, steaming dog shit.

FAMAS: French forces appear in this game, but all they do is wave white flags at the Ultra-nationalists and hand out free garlic bread as provisions. It was only natural that MW3 was to include this.

Sub Machine Guns

Weapons that Automatically give your target Juggernaut and have insanely high recoil. Just like IRL!

UMP45: Let's hope Infinity Whore'd doesn't fuck up big time with this gun like they did in the game this mod is downloadable for.

MP5: The uncircumcised MP5k returns to overshadow its micropenis brother and be used commonly in stealth based load outs.

MP5k: Will not be used as it is overshadowed by its niggerdick brother the MP5.

PP90M1: A Strange looking weapon that's shaped like a noob tube instead of a true SMG.

P90: A bullpup SMG that has an insanely large mini-Machine gun sized mag. This gun is made of hax.

PM9: An Uzi replacement that sucks about as much as the original. Like the Ipod ripoffs.

MP7: Another faggy Eurotrash weapon. Seriously, those nazi weapons had way too much sex.

AK-74u: Infinity Whore'd trolls again by putting an Assault rifle in the SMG section. Now everyone ages 5-18 thinks the AK-74u is an SMG instead of an Assault rifle carbine like the M4A1 is to the M16A4.

Vector: Infinity Ward tried to make this glitchy showoff shit look legit by giving it a matte black finish and other tacticool shit. Only included so there could be an Americunt SMG.

Sniper Rifles

Only used by 5 year olds to get those oh so sweet QU1KSC0P3 CL1P5!!!!!

Barrett .50 Cal: Players can carry 2 of these 14 kilo snipers while shooting without taking their arms off, sprinting and jumping out of windows.

L118A: A modern copy of the L96 from Black Ops, was included for the same purpose of those SWEET QUICKSCOPE CLIPS!!!!1!!!ONE!!! Also included as the Britfags were buttsore that they were using Nazi-trash MP5s.

Dragunov: Moar liek Fagunov amirite? This shit actually looks legit by having black tacticool furniture like IRL for once.

AS50: A faggy replacement for the M14 EBR rifle from MW2. Those who can't use the three other Snipers use this shit stick.

RSASS: The next step down the shitscale. Those who cant use the AS50 use this piece of crap.

MSR: Another Bolt Action rifle for those quickscope clips. Those who can't use the L118A1 use this thing.

Light Machine guns

Effectively give you the speed of a both legs amputee. Always should be sprayed in general direction of enemies.

L86 LSW: This shitstick returns from MW2 like most other shit in this game. The design once again is so ugly they had to tweak some of the visuals to pass it off as commonly used in the Britfag military, thought they all use the MP5 anyways as German technology is superior to England's.

MG36: A copypasta of the G36C but in LMG form with an insanely large mag and fuckall recoil. This gun is also made of hax.

PkP Pecheneg: Another Chinafag sounding gun in the CoD franchise. Copy of the RPK from the last game.

Mk46: The unwelcome replacement of the M249 SAW. This shit shares the same statistics as the gun from CoD 4 also!

M60E4: It has the recoil of a nigger on steroids and can't hit shit, mitigating it's insane power. Also has a slow as fuck rate of fire because the gunsmiths at Browning were lazy when designing this piece of horse shit.

RPD: This gun is still being used in the 2010s while it was replaced by the RPK74 way back in the '70s.

M240: As with the bullshit situation the Barrett .50 Cal shares, this is a bulky Machine GUn IRL which cannot be fired without ripping your arm off without a bipod/tripod, yet it handles ingame like it's made out of plastic. When will IW ever learn?

Shotguns

These shitsticks have an effective range of 4 meters. Just like in real life!

USAS-12: Has a small as fuck mag size and is the first Korean gun in CoD.

SPAS-12: As with the M4A1, this fuckstick shouldn't even be in this game as it's been long replaced. It is basically copied and put into this game with still insanely large range.

KSG 12: Another shotgun, this game has so many semi auto shotguns, like what the hell.

AA-12: Theres already a shitty similar shotgun to this ingame which should take this crappy showoff shit's place. Once again fallacies in research can be put down to excess fapping on Infinity Ward's behalf.

Striker: This thing takes about an hour to reload from empty as it did in the last game. It's South AIDSfrican anyways, so it would be very AIDs ridden.

Model 1887: Infinity Ward tried to make this at least 100 year old shotgun from the Wild West look legit by touching up the Iron sights and giving it Black synthetic furniture. But in true fucktarded fashion they aren't fooling anyone. In this game though these shit muskets got nerfed, they can't be used with Akimbo and have shorter ranges due to butthurt 13 year olds complaining about them.

Handguns

Since Machine pistols are available, these handguns still will not get use.

USP .45: The return of the Universally Shitty Pistol, or the USP for tryhards.

P99: A Nazi-trash replacement of the M1911 exclusively for this game. Has a rate of fire as fast as old people fuck.

MP412: A shitty Russiafag revolver which IRL NEVER entered production, so why the fuck is it on the battlefield in this game?

.44 Magnum: ANOTHER shitty revolver, instead has a wooden grip instead of black synthetic grips to make it look like a Redneck weapon that it is IRL. As usual this shit token handgun can be fired at idiotically fast speeds.

Five Seven: A Belgian M9 Beretta replacement that doubles as an emergency infield dildo kit.

Desert Eagle: Any criticisms that can be leveled at the other 2 revolvers can be aimed at this wrist cracker. It now is completely black instead of half black half silver to try and make it look ordinary.

Machine pistols

FMG9: A machine pistol that looks alot like the Famas.

MP9: A reskinned TMP from the last game put into this one. The only difference being the reload animation.

Skorpion: To make up for the misidentification of the AK-74u, Infinity Whore'd rightfully places the Skorpion in the correct category of a machine pistol, because they realized it's shitty mag size doesn't make up for it's mass flaws.

Protip; Slap Extended chodes to have a spare pocket SMG.

G18: Seriously, this Austriafag gun has nothing going for it except that shitty magazine size.

Rocket Launchers

SAM launcher: The SMAW and the Stinger are just reskins of each other.

Javelin: Fails even more than it did in MW2 when it comes to doing anything.

XM25: A 'nade launcher that explodes behind targets, going to be an epic trolling device, probably useful for taking out campers hiding behind doors.

M320 GL: A Noob tube that's snapped off of an Assault rifle and stand alone. Rendered obsolete by the original M203.

RPG-7: A Troll's best friend. Always should be fired to the ground at the start of a Hardcore match.

AT4: A reskinned RPG-7 that fires more accurately, though none of that matters since you will be sniped from far away and miss.

Equipment

Lethal

Frag grenades: Rendered obsolete in everyway by Semtex except that stupid cooking ability no one uses as it should always be thrown on spawn.
Semtex: Sticky grenade. Will fuck your shit up.
Throwing Knife: Same faggy weapon used for those crappy Youtube clips recorded off of the video gamer's phone camera.
Bouncing Betty: Shitty Claymore alternative that's meant for the same purpose except it rotates and spins when it is set off.
Claymore: Camper's grenade. If you get by this thing you will only walk into their shotgun barrels.
C4: Rendered obsolete by Claymores as they automatically detonate unlike this shit so you don't have to.

Tactical

Flash Grenade: Makes a gay sound upon detonating. All the alternatives are better.
Concussion Grenade: Same as the Stun grenade from CoD4 but with a WIKKID ORSSIM NEW NAME!!1!!!!ONE!!!!
Scrambler: The Troll's grenade. Lures you into a well placed Claymore trap.
EMP Grenade: Fucks over any equipment in it's blast radius. Though you'll get raped anyways.
Smoke Grenade: Shitty item that causes slight damage on detonating. Causes butthurt on Hardcore.
Trophy System: Gay sounding name of an item that stops explosives. You'll get shot anyways.
Tactical Insertion: There's nothing tactical about this thing in anyway. Will get you spawn killed alot.
Portable Radar: Camper's equipment. There's a reason this game is called Camp: The game 2.

Other Shit

Riot Shield: Not even a weapon. Used with the Juggernaut point streak to corner players for the lulz.
M203: Most commonly found weapon. Sometimes found with an Assault Rifle attached to it.
Tactical Knife: Used by trolls in knifing classes to cause mass butthurt.

@@ Line 210: / Line 210: @@
 *'''P99:''' A Nazi-trash replacement of the M1911 exclusively for this game. Has a rate of fire as fast as old people fuck.
-*'''MP412:''' A shitty revolver.
+*'''MP412:''' A shitty Russiafag revolver which IRL NEVER entered production, so why the fuck is it on the battlefield in this game?
 *'''.44 Magnum:''' ''ANOTHER'' shitty revolver, instead has a wooden grip instead of black synthetic grips to make it look like a Redneck weapon that it is IRL. As usual this shit token handgun can be fired at idiotically fast speeds.