{{notice|'''This article is entirely factual. [http://www.news.com.au/technology/nasa-spacecraft-hijacked-by-aliens/story-e6frfro0-1225865827901 Australiens have provided empirical evidence] that aliens are real (claims hijacked by aliens)!'''}}
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Throughout the modern era, '''Aliens''' have been depicted as [[furfags|brutal, uncivilized, murderous, raping molluscs]] that [http://www.news.com.au/technology/nasa-spacecraft-hijacked-by-aliens/story-e6frfro0-1225865827901 steal out satellites for no reason]. But in reality, most of them are actually perfectly civilized rapists who genuinely care about their victims and are masters in the art of anal telekinesis. And even though most of them ''are'' sex offenders, as records show that 99.99% of [[anal]] [[rape]] crimes committed in [[Texas]] are done by [[Mexicans|extraterrestrial beings]], that doesn't mean that they're all bad.
[[Image:ThisIslandEarthBrian.jpg|thumb|A typical alien drone used for [[anal]] probes.]]
[[Image:Images.alien.jpg|thumb|left|A glance at the medical department of an alien space station; rectal-abdominal surgery]][[File:The taking of elian gonzalez.jpg|thumb|right|An alien apprehended by the CIA before being transported to Area 51]]
'''Aliens''' are cephalopodan creatures from [[France]] that are often shown as [[furfags|brutal uncivilized murdering bastard]]s. But those are just blown-up lies; most aliens are actually perfectly civilized rapists who genuinely care about their victims and are masters in the art of anal telekinesis.
Among their achievements are the invention and distribution of [[UFO|UFOs]], [[tentacle rape]], tacos, and burritos. Some have become presidents, top athletes, and even [[slurpee]] scientists. Nowadays an existence without aliens is hardly imaginable as they do our laundry, mow our lawn, iron our clothes, cook our food at Chinese buffets, and watch the kids when we're not home. They bring wealth, knowledge, and happiness to everybody.
It is a fact that most aliens are sex offenders - records show that 99.99% of [[anal]] [[rape]] crimes committed in [[Texas]] are done by extraterrestrial beings, or [[Mexican]]s. [[Contrary to popular belief]], Sk4t0r05 is not an alien, but a [[retard]] from a nearby country, and is often referred to as the ''German Vermin''. He ''is'', however, an [[Steve_Jobs|anal rapist]].
Sure they uniformly rob graves for sexual pleasure and as a result accidentally anal probe [[goths]] and [[emos]], mistaking them for corpses, with their marvelous [[anal]] technology. And their horrid screams are often heard at graveyards as the aliens plunge their tiny, quivering, angsty, rectums with their evil phallic-looking machines. But that's a small price to pay for their contribution to society.
== Man's best friend ==
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==Gallery==
[[Image:The_taking_of_elian_gonzalez.jpg|thumb|An alien apprehended by the CIA before being transported to Area 51.]]
Image:ThisIslandEarthBrian.jpg|A typical alien drone used for [[anal]] probes
[[Image:Images.alien.jpg|thumb|left|A glance at the medical department of an alien space station; rectal-abdominal surgery.]]
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Image:Growse.jpg|[[Rule 34|Even if it doesn't exist, there's porn of it]]
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Over the centuries some aliens have become presidents, top athletes and even [[slurpee]] scientists. Yes, nowadays an existence without aliens is hardly imaginable; They do our laundry, iron our clothes and watch the kids when we're not at home.
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The best thing about this is that we learn a lot from aliens, their superhuman ability to be completely apathetic to any form of [[drama]] is something we should all endeavor, it's even rumored that there are some aliens active at [[ED]]'s drama lexicon, [[Aussieintn]] for instance is definitely one.
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Aliens bring wealth, knowledge and happiness to everybody, except for the few broken souls that create usernames that are half composed of numbers. These doomed non-entities almost uniformly rob graves for sexual pleasure and as a result are made the targets of the aliens' marvelous [[anal]] technology. This includes the SIT (Small Intestine Translocator) and the ARD (Anal Rotation Device, presumably stolen from [[Nikola Tesla]]).
Their horrid screams are often heard at graveyards as the aliens plunge their evil metal machines in the tiny, quivering rectums of unwilling young [[gothic]] teenagers.
Apart from that, they're kind friendly creatures who go to [[Christian|church]] every Sunday. They also like to stare at people through windows in the middle of the night. OMFG LOOK BEHIND YOU!
==The Famous Moshman Incident==
[[Image:Bush cheney offspring.jpg|thumb|Sometimes, aliens infiltrate the government.]]
Aliens mostly come out at night, but one particular alien ate too many shrooms on one occasion and became disoriented. After eating the face of a cat belonging to a suburban family, the police were contacted and began to undergo the pursuit of this dreadful/grotesque/lulzy creature. The creature, dubbed the Moshman, was eventually pursued by army helicopters, tanks and other awesome military crap. To the embarrassment of the US government, who went so far as to nuke half the world in an attempt to neutralize the alien threat, it was later revealed that this alien was in fact just a [[midget]] with a corset on its head.
Throughout the modern era, Aliens have been depicted as brutal, uncivilized, murderous, raping molluscs that steal out satellites for no reason. But in reality, most of them are actually perfectly civilized rapists who genuinely care about their victims and are masters in the art of anal telekinesis. And even though most of them are sex offenders, as records show that 99.99% of analrape crimes committed in Texas are done by extraterrestrial beings, that doesn't mean that they're all bad.
A glance at the medical department of an alien space station; rectal-abdominal surgeryAn alien apprehended by the CIA before being transported to Area 51
Among their achievements are the invention and distribution of UFOs, tentacle rape, tacos, and burritos. Some have become presidents, top athletes, and even slurpee scientists. Nowadays an existence without aliens is hardly imaginable as they do our laundry, mow our lawn, iron our clothes, cook our food at Chinese buffets, and watch the kids when we're not home. They bring wealth, knowledge, and happiness to everybody.
Sure they uniformly rob graves for sexual pleasure and as a result accidentally anal probe goths and emos, mistaking them for corpses, with their marvelous anal technology. And their horrid screams are often heard at graveyards as the aliens plunge their tiny, quivering, angsty, rectums with their evil phallic-looking machines. But that's a small price to pay for their contribution to society.
