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Jonathan Niehaus: Difference between revisions

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[[File:Zoojay family problems 0.png|thumb|right|"Fuck the [[police|law!]] [[emoticons|:,(]]" ]]
[[File:Zoojay family problems 0.png|thumb|right|"Fuck the [[police|law!]] [[emoticons|:,(]]" ]]


It was only a matter of time before his own parents caught wind of his antics and [[son I am disappoint|decided to do something about it]]. Instead of [[banning]] Johnathan from the internet permanently and never allowing him near computer, they decided to give him a new computer "when he is ready." Of course, Johnathan didn't take the news well. Feeling frusrated by his parents, he went onto [[Twitter]] and bitched about the situation - even to the point where [[Srsly|he threatened to kill his own father]].
It was only a matter of time before his own parents caught wind of his antics and [[son I am disappoint|decided to do something about it]]. Instead of [[banning]] Johnathan from the internet permanently and never allowing him near computer, they decided to give him a new computer "when he is ready." Of course, Johnathan didn't take the news well. Feeling frustrated by his parents, he went onto [[Twitter]] and bitched about the situation - even to the point where [[Srsly|he threatened to kill his own father]].


The next step was for his parents and his own therapist was to make him [[Delete fucking everything|give up his flashdrives filled with bestiality porn and to delete his Xtube account.]] After Johnathan deleted his account and given up his flash drives, he considered becoming [[an hero]], unable to cope with the loss.
The next step was for his parents and his own therapist was to make him [[Delete fucking everything|give up his flashdrives filled with bestiality porn and to delete his Xtube account.]] After Johnathan deleted his account and given up his flash drives, he considered becoming [[an hero]], unable to cope with the loss.


His parents, being as computer literate as their own son, bought their son a new laptop, believing that their son couldn't fap to animal porn anymore with the loss of his flash drives, his old computer, and his word. Of course, Johnathan has as much willpower as a [[heroin]] addict and is back to fapping and posting on Twitter.
His parents, being as computer literate as their own son, bought their son a new laptop, believing that their son couldn't fap to animal porn anymore with the loss of his flash drives, his old computer, and his word. Of course, Johnathan has as much willpower as a [[heroin]] addict and is back to fapping and posting on Twitter.


== Dox ==
== Dox ==

Revision as of 15:38, 7 October 2012

This article is paid for by taxpayers like you.
Thanks, America.
This person has Assburgers Syndrome,
so you can't say anything bad! :-(


Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck.
Chris Chan's dog-raping twin

Jonathan Niehaus aka Zoojay (Born June 3rd, 1986) is an overweight, aspie, virgin, and bestiality songwriter who sounds like the lovechild of Cartman and Chris Chan when he speaks. He is a 26 year old zoophile who still lives with his parents, got fired from his job at the pet store for molesting dogs, and videotapes himself molesting his aunts' dogs. Almost all of his songs are about having sex with dogs or his desire to get a dog of his own.

Songwriter

Niehaus, picking out which songs to steal next on his iPod

As was stated earlier, Johnathan has written over 30 songs about his desire to rape a dog - in graphic detail. A majority of his songs consists of him singing about finding a dog (or owning one) and fucking it until one of them gets a bleeding asshole. Most of his songs have a particular dog as its' focus; A Siberian Husky.

Essential listening are: "I need or want a Siberian husky right now", "Anal sex (with the doggy)", "Husky cock", "Legalized bestiality needs to happen", "Sex with Huskies, again?!!", "Mate that pussy", and "Huskies in need (for sex)". And it gets much worse...

He's also ripped off at least a few songs that are known of. An example of his song theft is his song Aww, Cute Dog, which is no more than an Autotune version of Two Ton Paperweight with Johnathan's vocals, possibly also autotuned. Did we forget to mention that he charges listeners to listen to these copyright infringed songs?

Raping dogs on video, furfaggotry, and Xtube

This is his idea of a Fursuit

If you believed that Johnathan isn't being serious about what he sings about and believe that he's a very convincing troll, you are sadly mistaken. Johnathan has a history of raping dogs, which was why he got fired from working at a pet store.

Johnathan had followed his aunt's dogs with a video camera multiple times to film them. He later fapped to the footage and showed it off in bestiality forums. Such videos contain Johnathan videotaping his aunt's dogs pissing, Johnathan slobbing all over one of the huskies' mouth, and even him bending over to let one of the dogs mount his fat ass.

Here's a few videos to demonstrate that:


It's no surprise that Johnathan would also have an Xtube. Johnathan used the site to promote something more terrifying than dog rape; himself. He filmed himself lifting his public mound to pee in the toilet and fapping while in a cheap Walmart werewolf costume. He had also uploaded quite a bit of his nudes onto the site.

Parent Issues

Oh the drama!
"Fuck the law! :,("

It was only a matter of time before his own parents caught wind of his antics and decided to do something about it. Instead of banning Johnathan from the internet permanently and never allowing him near computer, they decided to give him a new computer "when he is ready." Of course, Johnathan didn't take the news well. Feeling frustrated by his parents, he went onto Twitter and bitched about the situation - even to the point where he threatened to kill his own father.

The next step was for his parents and his own therapist was to make him give up his flashdrives filled with bestiality porn and to delete his Xtube account. After Johnathan deleted his account and given up his flash drives, he considered becoming an hero, unable to cope with the loss.

His parents, being as computer literate as their own son, bought their son a new laptop, believing that their son couldn't fap to animal porn anymore with the loss of his flash drives, his old computer, and his word. Of course, Johnathan has as much willpower as a heroin addict and is back to fapping and posting on Twitter.

Dox

Like most autistics on the Internet, he decided to go and Dox himself, his address and number are:

1424 W Carmel Dr

Carmel, Indiana 46032

(317) 573-8300

He usually Dox's himself in sites like Beast Forum and his Tunecore page.

Websites/Social Networks

Niehaus made a lot of sites to show his creepiness and music, he almost always updates his Facebook and Twitter pages.

See Also

Jonathan Niehaus
is part of a series on
Bad things that happen to animals
Basic Concepts [-+]

Animal AbuseBestialityFurryHuntingTaxidermy

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