Dodgeman

Ryan failing miserably at trying to make a meme of himself

Ryan, Also known as "Dodgeman", or his high school nickname "Pizza Face" because of his horrid acne scars, is a pizza delivery driver (the irony has not been lost on most) who is afraid of his closet homosexuality. He is a woman hating, Canadian attention whore. Abandoned by his mother when he was a kid, he was raised by his grandparents who didn't even want him. He blames his mother abandoning him and general lack of parental guidance growing up on his many social dysfunctions and inability (or refusal?) to take anyone's advice on how to be less of a shithead irl. Even though his father was shot in the head, and is now full retard, he also uses him to get pity.

The ramblings of a homosexual Narcissist

His father's bad luck obviously didn't teach him anything. He's confessed to stealing a phone, claiming it was "the universe giving him a gift," and was also caught trying to steal a TV from his grandparents. He claimed he was "moving it to another room," which is assumed to mean "out the front door." Because of this tomfoolery, he got kicked out of his house, and became homeless for a short period of time.

Never wanting to take the blame for anything he has done, he blames everyone else around him. But since he is such a nice guy, he would offer people a drive when they were in need, only to ask for money for gas as soon as they got to their destination. He once tried to complain that he should get sexual favors for driving women around, that it was "only fair." Eventually he clued in that the only reason people ever called him to hang out or talk to him was to use him as a taxi service, because he's so unbearably annoying otherwise. He soon stopped giving people drives places and now has zero social life.

While in high school, he decided to shove down an autistic retarded chick just because, which caused 700~ students to chase him to beat the shit out of him for it. You would almost think it would teach him a lesson but it was a new fight with him every day. He was constantly suspended, and eventually expelled. He's not allowed to return to high school for any sort of education. But even with this happening, he believes he can get into university in their theater program. He is now 25 and was just seen recently bragging about getting his GED and being a "real man now."

Believing he can become one of Hollywood's greatest assist, he also thinks he's a stand-up comedian, but he's never played a show, and his jokes suck. The only real joke is his pathetic existence. He tries to use everyone as the brunt of his jokes. His dad's misfortune, his exes, his family. His comedic talent can stretch as far as his penis, which isn't too far.

For the times he has actually had sex, the women would wish they had their 2 minuets back. When he's not trying to manipulate women into sex, he tries having gay sex, while spreading anti-gay views to try and make himself look like less of a faggot irl. When people have called him out for wanting gay sex, he spins it around and tries to say the other person is gay. He's been known to invite male friends over for sleep overs and then pressuring them to cuddle in bed with him or strip naked and play "bro games" with each other's butts.

He even had a friends mom try to help him, but all he played was a pity party. He called her a bitch when she told him to stop bothering her daughter, threatened to ruin her birthday, and threatened to kill their three family dogs. He doesn't accept any help that's given to him. he just makes up excuses and places blame on everyone else. He's usually afraid to stand up to men, he chooses to go after women in hopes to feel and look superior.

The times people did actually hang out with him, they found out he's a cheater, a liar and all around douche bag. He always tried way to hard to do anything and ended up failing and getting yelled at by people with logic. Something he couldn't fight back.

When they announced they were going to have a Canadian Big Brother, he made a video to his "followers" promising that he would get on the show and make his fans happy. Even though he never went to the audition, he was upset and emotionally damaged from not being accepted. He went to youtube almost in tears telling people he would make it up to them. The fact that he has no fans and everyone is laughing at him and his self absorbed attempts to seem important somehow escapes him.

Here is a lulzy example of his YouTube videos:

Gallery of Lulz

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See also

• Faggotry
• Retards
• Welfare
• Acne
• Buttsecks
• Suicide
• Narcissist
• Manchild
• Forever Alone
• Attention Whore

External links

• Facebook
• Twitter
• Youtube