Fable

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Fable is a series of shit Role Playing Games, that is enjoyed by whiny fat neckbeards and absolutely nobody else. It was created by the delusional fuckhead that goes by the name of Peter Molynuex, a notorious bullshitter whose body of sales are built up on a foundation of evil lies.

The Games

There are currently three Fable games on the market, four if you include the wankstain money-grabbing Lost Chapters.

• Fable - A buggy as fuck, boring as fuck, underwhelming, over-hyped RPG for Xbox and Mac OS X.

• Fable: Lost Chapters - A slightly extended version of a buggy as fuck, boring as fuck, underwhelming, over-hyped RPG for Xbox and Mac OS X.

• Fable II - A Buggy as fuck, boring as fuck, underwhelming, over-hyped RPG for the Xbox 360.

• Fable III - A Buggy as fuck, boring as fuck, underwhelming, over-hyped RPG for the Xbox 360 (Not to be mistaken for Fable II.)

Fable

	“	It's gonna be the best game ever.	„
	— Peter Molyneux

Back in the year 2000, when all games weren't completely fucking terrible, some dumbass called Peter Molyneux decided that he was going to design an RPG that wasn't like anything else currently on the market. Early in Fable's development, the developers called it "Project Ego", probably because someone couldn't shut the fuck up. The game took four years to be created, because Peter would change things up every five minutes.

	“	The world would be a breathtakingly beautiful place filled with waterfalls, mountains, dense forests, populated with compelling and convincing characters with real personality, people who actually reacted to what you did. We wanted to give the player control of a hero who would adapt to the way they played, who would age, become scarred in battle, who could get tattoos, wear dreadlocks and a dress if the player was so inclined.	„
	— One of the people who made Fable, describing many other already relevant RPG's

Four years later, the game was released.

	“	Wow, we fucked that up.	„
	— Probably one of the people who made Fable

In a display of complete retardation from Molynuex, we got fuck all that he promised. Oh well, at least the game itself is still good, right? Wrong. It's a buggy clusterfuck of bad ideas, and unoriginal RPG bullshit. Go figure.

Somehow, the game sold well enough to justify a sequel called Fable: The Lost Chapters.

Fable: The Lost Chapters

It's Fable with some extra bullshit.

Fable II

Peter Molynuex, after seeing the success of his previous fuck-ups, decided to fuck up again and make more money. Although this game is technically better in every was than Fable, it's still an overrated pile of fuck. Basically, take Oblivion and crap all over it, and you have Fable II.

Yahtzee sums up the wank pretty well:

Fable III

See Fable II.

Plot

Since all Fable games want the player to have a unique experience, the plot has to be wafer thin to compensate.

Fable

Some little Orphan nancy boy is forced into adventuring after bandits invade his shitty little town and kidnap his bitch of a sister. Otherwise known as RPG storyline #13. Everything the happens after is down to the player, therefore it's always going to suck.

Fable II

500 years after Fable, shit is going down. The plot for this pile of wank is all over the place, some little cracker buys a magic box and it grants his wish which makes bad things happen. You have to stop these bad things etc. Lulz are most certainly not had.

Fable III

50 years later, you dead. But now you're a new guy, so you not dead. Shit goes down hard and you eventually become king (or queen) and have to do something about a giant black monster that's about to fuck up your shit. You either chose to be the good guy, and let the cunts you lead live happy lives - and die in a year, or be the bad guy make them work to fight off the monster - and they can live forever.

This obviously makes no fucking sense, and is super gay.

Lies

	“	If I have mentioned any feature in the past which, for whatever reason, didn't make it as I described into Fable, I apologise.	„
	—Peter Molynuex, On being a fucking faggot.

Peter Molynuex is notorious for lying about absolutely everything he ever does. Ever.

Things that were supposed to be in Fable:

• Plants that grow in real time
• Every action having detrimental effect on the story
• Actions having permanent effects on the environment
• The ability to poison a water supply and watching the whole town die slowly
• More delusional bullshit

Things that were in Fable:

• Not a whole lot

Listening to Peter Molynuex' bullshit is like going on 4chan and seeing the best potential epic thread ever. You start posting in glee as you wait for OP to cut off his own dick, but as the thread 404's, OP's dick is still firmly attached to his faggot body.

Peter Molynuex NEVER delivars.

Potential Sequels

Unfortunately, the lying faggot has announced at least 2 more boring as fuck, buggy as fuck, underwhelming, over-hyped RPG's. Here are some things that he has assured the game will be able to do:

• Cure Cancer and AIDS
• End world hunger, and poverty
• Fix the economy
• Find Maddie
• Cure OP of his Faggotry
• Get you laid Not even he would lie about that.

	“	Well, he's lied to us 4 times before, but I see no reason to believe why he would be lying now.	„
	—Prototypical Fable fanboy, on sucking dick

Fable is part of a series on Gaming Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage.