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[[Image:Epsychiatrist.jpg|thumb|right|Left: [[IRL]] psychiatric workers<br>Right: Average [[E-Psychiatrist]]]]
[[Image:Epsychiatrist.jpg|thumb|right|Left: [[IRL]] psychiatric workers<br>Right: Average [[E-Psychiatrist]]]]
'''E-psychiatry''' is the analysis of the human mind, as understood by [[insane]] internet [[geek]]s from their own marathon sessions with state-appointed counselors. Diagnosis usually occurs during a [[flame war]], before discussion of opponents' ancestry but after examination of the most likely form of their [[pervert|sexual deviancy]]. "[[shit nobody cares about|Nature vs Nurture]]" is a popular matter for philosophical [[debate]], as in "Did your mother hold you underwater too long as an infant or were you born with only two brain cells working?"
'''E-psychiatry''' a corollary of the three tenets of web forums: All male forumites have an IQ above average, all females in forums are hot and everyone there is an expert on every subject. When not being told to [[read a book]] you might get an introduction to the nature versus nature debate as in "Did your mother hold you underwater too long as an infant ''or'' were you born with only two brain cells working?"


Note that an [[E-Psychiatrist]] is unlikely to diagnose the patient as having something glamourous like [[Asperger's syndrome]].
Note that an [[E-Psychiatrist]] is unlikely to diagnose the patient as having something glamourous like [[Asperger's syndrome]].
Line 6: Line 6:
==E-psychiatry In Action==
==E-psychiatry In Action==
*[http://groups.inetbot.com/showgrp/rec_pskiing_palpine_s355.html Skiing Crystal]
*[http://groups.inetbot.com/showgrp/rec_pskiing_palpine_s355.html Skiing Crystal]
**"You have no power, no influence, no family, no character, no [[job]], [[You don't have any friends|no friends]] and [[Poor|no money]]. You just hang out here hoping that someone might be stoopid enough to befriend you. Too late, everyone knows you're a manipulative asswipe that just uses people for his own gratification. Even if they were that stoopid, after 15 minutes, they'd have you figured out. You're ancient history, yesterday's bully - today's [[Lol-cow|laughing stock]]. I'd say get a life but you have no hope, no future and we can all be thankful for that. You really are insane. Get help. Or come make good on your threats, you gutless freak."
**"You have no power, no influence, no family, no character, no [[job]], You don't have any [[friend]]s and no money. You just hang out here hoping that someone might be stoopid enough to befriend you. Too late, everyone knows you're a manipulative asswipe that just uses people for his own gratification. Even if they were that stoopid, after 15 minutes, they'd have you figured out. You're ancient history, yesterday's bully - today's laughing stock. I'd say get a life but you have no hope, no future and we can all be thankful for that. You really are insane. Get help. Or come make good on your threats, you gutless freak."
*[http://nappydiatribe.blogspot.com/2005/03/sexcapades-gone-wrong.html Sexcapades Gone Wrong]
*[http://nappydiatribe.blogspot.com/2005/03/sexcapades-gone-wrong.html Sexcapades Gone Wrong]
**"Ok you know what..i am going to stop reading your bog when i am at work.....YOU ARE INSANE!!!!"
**"Ok you know what..i am going to stop reading your bog when i am at work.....YOU ARE INSANE!!!!"
*[http://www.gothic.net/boards/showthread.php?t=376 Gothic.net]
*[http://www.gothic.net/boards/showthread.php?t=376 Gothic.net]
**"Hey... Im just cerous have u ever had some one of your family die a slow and painful death whal u watch. I dont think u have and i dont think u could take it. And maby u wouldnt cry. cuz it takes some one with a hart to do that. and emotions are things humans have, and i bet u dont have any cuz u are insaine thats why [[Goth|ppl who dress like u do]] are treated like crap."
**"Hey... Im just cerous have u ever had some one of your family die a slow and painful death whal u watch. I dont think u have and i dont think u could take it. And maby u wouldnt cry. cuz it takes some one with a hart to do that. and emotions are things humans have, and i bet u dont have any cuz u are insaine thats why ppl who dress like u do are treated like crap."
*[http://www.ojar.com/view_19868.htm Good Riddance]
*[http://www.ojar.com/view_19868.htm Good Riddance]
**"How are you supposed to be able to help someone else when you can't even deal with your own shit.  You [[suck]]. You put me through all this shit, and then you start [[bitch]]ing at me for being controlling and not being responsible? You are insane!!!!"
**"How are you supposed to be able to help someone else when you can't even deal with your own shit.  You [[suck]]. You put me through all this shit, and then you start [[bitch]]ing at me for being controlling and not being responsible? You are insane!!!!"

Revision as of 20:49, 12 February 2014

Left: IRL psychiatric workers
Right: Average E-Psychiatrist

E-psychiatry a corollary of the three tenets of web forums: All male forumites have an IQ above average, all females in forums are hot and everyone there is an expert on every subject. When not being told to read a book you might get an introduction to the nature versus nature debate as in "Did your mother hold you underwater too long as an infant or were you born with only two brain cells working?"

Note that an E-Psychiatrist is unlikely to diagnose the patient as having something glamourous like Asperger's syndrome.

E-psychiatry In Action

  • Skiing Crystal
    • "You have no power, no influence, no family, no character, no job, You don't have any friends and no money. You just hang out here hoping that someone might be stoopid enough to befriend you. Too late, everyone knows you're a manipulative asswipe that just uses people for his own gratification. Even if they were that stoopid, after 15 minutes, they'd have you figured out. You're ancient history, yesterday's bully - today's laughing stock. I'd say get a life but you have no hope, no future and we can all be thankful for that. You really are insane. Get help. Or come make good on your threats, you gutless freak."
  • Sexcapades Gone Wrong
    • "Ok you know what..i am going to stop reading your bog when i am at work.....YOU ARE INSANE!!!!"
  • Gothic.net
    • "Hey... Im just cerous have u ever had some one of your family die a slow and painful death whal u watch. I dont think u have and i dont think u could take it. And maby u wouldnt cry. cuz it takes some one with a hart to do that. and emotions are things humans have, and i bet u dont have any cuz u are insaine thats why ppl who dress like u do are treated like crap."
  • Good Riddance
    • "How are you supposed to be able to help someone else when you can't even deal with your own shit. You suck. You put me through all this shit, and then you start bitching at me for being controlling and not being responsible? You are insane!!!!"
  • Animelyrics.com Forum: Strangest or weirdest moments
    • "I don't think your crazy, but anything is possible. if say the dead is mad at you well i guess they are. Now seeing a mermaid is crazy!!! And i saw one."

Diagnosed? U may have CYBERCHONDRIA

Patients who search for medical advice on the Internet can become afflicted with a condition called "cyberchondria," in which they misdiagnose their symptoms and seek unnecessary treatment, according to a study. Researchers found that "misleading" or "vague" advice online could lead to the problem, AFP/Yahoo News reports.

Researchers from the University of Derby in the United Kingdom for 18 months browsed medical Web sites that provide information on common symptoms and treatments on illnesses ranging from colds to cancer. They found that many sites, including those run by individuals, included inaccurate information that could lead people to incorrectly diagnose themselves. The study also found that Web sites associated with societies, charities and professional bodies provided reliable advice, AFP/Yahoo News reports (AFP/Yahoo News, 10/3). [1] Wikipedia of course gave wrong advice.

See Also

E-psychiatry is part of a series on

Trolls

Visit the Trolls Portal for complete coverage.

E-psychiatry is part of a series on

Truth

Visit the Truth Portal for complete coverage.


Advicenators - Making E-Psychiatry Easy!


[Give $500 PlzOpen Up to Us]
E-psychiatry is part of a series on Psychology
Mental illness & Disorders

Acrotomophilia • Addiction • Agoraphobia • Alcoholism • Alexis Pilkington Syndrome • Alzheimer's • Anorexia • Antisocial personality disorder • Anthropophobia • Anxiety • ADD • ADHD • Asperger's Syndrome • Autism • Bimbofication • Bipolar • Borderline personality disorder • Bug Chasing • Bulimia • Cognitive dissonance • Deep thinker • Depression • Dick Impalement • Down's Syndrome • Dyslexia • Eating disorder • Factitious disorder • Fake Schizophrenia • Fauxlimia • Feminism • Gender dysphoria • Girl on the Internet Syndrome • Heterophobia • Hero Complex • HFA • Histrionic Personality Disorder • Hutchence's Syndrome • Hyperbolimia • Inadequacy • Inconsistent personality disorder • Insanity • Liberal Butthurt Syndrome • Liberalism • Low Self-esteem • 'Missing White Woman' Syndrome • Multiple personality disorder • Napoleon Complex • Narcissistic personality disorder • Neurotypical • Obsessive Compulsive Disorder • Paranoia • Paranoid personality disorder • Peter Pan Syndrome • Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder • Psychopathy • Pyromania • Retardation • Schizophrenia • Seasonal Affective Disorder • Self-diagnosis • Self Injury • Sexsomnia • Sickfuckery • Sociopathy • Social anxiety disorder • Special Snowflake Syndrome • Terminological percipience disorder • Trolling Induced Transsexuality Syndrome • Tulpa • Unrealistic expectations • Victim complex

Fetishes:

Acrotomophilia • Aquaphilia • Arborphilia • Audiophilia • Autogynephilia • Balloon Fetish • Bestiality • Carmen Electra complex • Cross Dressing • Dollfilia • Emetophilia • Emosexuality • Eproctophilia • Fatty Fetish (Female Fat Admirer) • Fetishism • Foot Fetish • Furniture Porn • Furrism • Goo girl • Guro • Heterophilia • Homophilia • Inflation Fetish • Japanophilia • Jungle Fever • Lesbian pedophilia • Lotion Play • Macrophilia • Maiesiophilia • Mechanophilia • Mpreg • Necrophilia • Objectophilia • Oedipial Complex • Paraphilia • Pedophilia • Plushophilia • Pregnant Loli • Pregnophilia • Quicksand Fetish • Rangerphilia • Spectrophilia • Statuephilia • Trichophilia • Voraphilia • Wet and Messy Fetishism • Wetlook • Xenophilia • Yellow fever • Zoophilia

E-Psychosis:

Chronic Troll Syndrome • Deletionism • E-go • E-Psychiatrist • E-Psychiatry • ETD • Hivemind • I-Dosing • I have a 140 IQ • IRC Disease • Imaginary girlfriend • Internet Disease & Internet Disease Chart • Internet poverty delusions • Internet Rehab • Internet troll personality disorder • Mega ultra super genius • Nerdy Fandom Gateway Theory • Sex by association • Lulz-Blindness • Wikipedia's Greatest Hits Diseases

Experiments:

ask.fm • Brainwashing • Hypnosis • Milgram Experiment • Scientology • Stanford Prison Experiment • The Hivemind Corollary

Sites:

Above Top Secret • B/ • Bodies Under Siege • CYOC • Chatroulette • Defense Industries Organization • Deeker • FoolQuest.com • InkBunny • Neuticles.com • Psyke.org • WarpMyMind.com

See also:

American Psychiatric Association • Anger • ASMR • Child abuse • Conscience • Dreams • DSM • Elan School • Enlightenment • Intelligence • Lobotomy • Mary Bell • Psychiatristy • Serial Killers • Take the meat bridge • The Law of Conformity • Trigger Warning

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