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== Origins ==
== Origins ==
''HowToBasic'' wasn't always wasting food to the expense of starving [[Africans]].  [[Last Thursday|In ancient times]], he made ''actual'' tutorial videos.  No, not his extremely simple tutorials for complete [[retards]] to make use of, he made genuine tutorials. The only problem is that nobody gave a shit about the tutorials.  They were utterly and ridiculously horrible, much like this article. In order to reduce the amount of time and effort, he made the extremely simple tutorials.  These tutorials includes: how to pick up an umbrella, how to open a door, and how to fuck raw food. Of course, [[autistic]] people ate it up like a [[fat]] man eating his third [[McDonald's]] meal the same day.  ''HowToBasic'' realized how many idiots there are on the internet, so he decided to make more of this silly nonsense.  However, he knew that it would get old really fast. So to stay relevant, he became a complete nut and did what he does today: waste tons of food (quite literally) by throwing/smashing it.
''HowToBasic'' proves that the sad pathetic individuals who watch this talentless [[Youtube]] channel really will watch anything that is not even remotely amusing.  It has been rumored that at one point this massive [[faggot]] used to upload videos that somewhat resembled horrendous how-to tutorials for those who were dumb enough not to figure it out for themselves. The only problem? All those who watched said "tutorials" soon developed terminal cancer.  Thus, these tutorials have since fallen into the void of obscurity. In order to reduce the amount of time and effort, these so-called tutorials became increasingly short, uninteresting, and boring, much like your sex life.  These 'basic' tutorials included: how to pick up an umbrella, how to open a door, and how to fuck raw food. ''HowToBasic'' realized how many idiots there are on the internet, so he decided to make more of this absurd nonsense.  However, he knew that it would get old really fast. So to stay relevant, he became a complete douche and did what he does today: waste tons of food (quite literally) by throwing and/or smashing it, perhaps try to compensate for all the times he was raped as a young boy. Or he could just have an intense food-sex fetish. Let's hope we never find out.


== Repetition ==
== Repetition ==

Revision as of 03:31, 1 May 2014

What? This article needs moar info and lulz.
You can help by adding moar info and lulz.
FACT ALERT:
This faggot is too chicken-shit to show his face.

HowToBasic is an anonymous, psychopathic, egg-wasting manchild that violently throws/smashes food for other people's pleasure. That is, if you were autistic enough to take in such cringe-worthy content. In nearly all of his videos, he is naked (presumably to attract the extreme homosexuals). He loves to slap meat against his legs, smash eggs, heavily moan, fists more meat down the toilet, piss in his food then eats it, and shit on the ground. How Google allows this jack-off to be on YouTube and doesn't allow less mature content is still a mystery to this very day, but experts speculate that this sorry excuse of a tutor makes Google at least 10,000 dollars a month. HowToBasic utterly proves that only women should be in the kitchen, and if a man enters it, there is no telling of what sort of catastrophe will unfold.

Origins

HowToBasic proves that the sad pathetic individuals who watch this talentless Youtube channel really will watch anything that is not even remotely amusing. It has been rumored that at one point this massive faggot used to upload videos that somewhat resembled horrendous how-to tutorials for those who were dumb enough not to figure it out for themselves. The only problem? All those who watched said "tutorials" soon developed terminal cancer. Thus, these tutorials have since fallen into the void of obscurity. In order to reduce the amount of time and effort, these so-called tutorials became increasingly short, uninteresting, and boring, much like your sex life. These 'basic' tutorials included: how to pick up an umbrella, how to open a door, and how to fuck raw food. HowToBasic realized how many idiots there are on the internet, so he decided to make more of this absurd nonsense. However, he knew that it would get old really fast. So to stay relevant, he became a complete douche and did what he does today: waste tons of food (quite literally) by throwing and/or smashing it, perhaps try to compensate for all the times he was raped as a young boy. Or he could just have an intense food-sex fetish. Let's hope we never find out.

Repetition

HowToBasic is also notorious for using nearly the same formula. In fact, we are going to make a drinking game of HowToBasic (warning: could cause alcohol poisoning). Take a drink if he...

  • Throws an egg at something
  • Heavily moans
  • Says "shhhhhhh"
  • Uses a sausage as a dick
  • Shits on the floor
  • Puts his foot/anything in the toilet
  • Slaps food against his knee, feet, or anywhere on his lower body.
  • Violently pats something
  • Fingers food

Videos

An insightful video of how to install GTA on your laptop.
This is the result when he takes his audience's unfunny jokes
literally.
This is how he thanks his audience: by smashing more eggs.
How original!
A rant on HowToBasic. It's cringe-worthy, so that's just a warning.

Previous Video | Next Video

See Also

HowToBasic is part of a series on YouTube.

Visit the YouTube Portal
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