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The French Revolution was the most amazing and insane clusterfuck to hit France in the late 18th century, paving the way for extensive IRL pwning, war, the first republic, Napoleon, Human Rights and other shit nobody cares about.
'''The French Revolution''' was an amazingly insane clusterfuck that hit France in the late 18th century, paving the way for extensive IRL pwning, war, the first republic, Napoleon, human rights and other shit nobody cares about.
 
==Prelude==
==Prelude==
In 1774 Louis XVI. became King of France and after many expensive and retarded undertakings, like aiding Murica in the war for independence (to stick it to the British), and his wife looting the bank account for bling, he was broke like a nigga on food stamps.
In 1774 Louis XVI became King of France and after many expensive undertakings, including his assistance of America in their war for independence just to stick it to the British and his wife looting the royal bank account for bling, he was broke like a nigga on food stamps.
To get himself out of debt and generate some cash for a king-worthy, pimpin lifestyle he called in the assembly of notables, a bunch of aristocrats, gay clergy men, and other rich fucks, to ask for permission to rise the taxes(on them), which ended in them giving him the finger.
To get himself out of debt and generate some cash he called in the assembly of notables, a bunch of aristocrats, gay clergymen and other rich fucks, in order to ask for permission to raise taxes which only resulted in them telling him to GTFO. In 1789 Louis decided to call for an assembly of the estates general, a body composed of the clergy, the nobility and everyone else who wasn’t of any special interest at all. Unfortunately he couldn’t push through with his tax reforms because too many filthy peasants were pissed by the fact they had no vote, no national assembly and no deodorant. In his attempts to difuse tension and sort things out Louis only managed to enrage 90% of the population to the point of revolution. What followed was a TL;DR of constitutional monarchy, treason, war and a fuckload of public decapitations.
 
==The Reign of Terror==
 
The ''Reign of Terror'' came about following a bitchfight between the Girondin and the Jacobin parties, but under the firm lead of Maximilien Robespierre and the ''Committee of Public Safety'', which was more or less a pack of well armed Social Justice warriors. It evolved into epic events of indiscriminate mass public murder claiming the lives a large number of frenchies. Ultimately members of the CPS became so frightened they themselves would become the next in line to the scaffold that they decided to take preemptive measures and sent Robbie and his friends there first. So the Reign ended and the more boring part of the revolution went on.
 
==Children of The Revolution==
 
===Louis XVI King of France & Navarre===
 
Messed up big time and got his head chopped off in public.
 
===Maria Antoinette, Queen of France & Navarre===
 
Got her head chopped of in public for outrageous spending habits and not being French enough.
 
===Georges Jacques Danton===
 
Revolutionary, advocate and whoremonger of great magnitude. Sentenced to death for not being radical enough and got his head chopped of in public.
 
===Maximilien Robespierre===


Finally in 1789 Louis decided to call for an assembly of the estates general, a body composed of the clergy, the nobility and everyone else who wasn’t of any special interest at all. Unfortunately he couldn’t push through with his tax reforms because those fucking peasants were pissed by the fact that they had no vote, no national assembly, and no deodorant.
Revolutionary, advocate and killjoy. Shot in the face and then decapitated for being too radical.
While trying to lower the tension and sort things out, the King did only enrage 90% of the population to the point of a Revolution.
What followed was a TL;DR of constitutional Monarchy, Treason, war and a ton of decapitations.


===Louis Antoine Léon de Saint-Just===


==The fun Part (Reign of Terror)==
Max's buddy and possibly gay lover. Decapitated.
The Reign of Terror came into existence through a bitch fight between the Girondin and the Jacobin parties, but under the firm lead of Maximilien Robespierre and the Committee of Public Safety, which was more or less a pack of Social Justice Warriors, it became an epic event of celebrated, indiscriminating, public, mass murder which claimed the lives of over 9000 frenchies.
In the End People in the CPS got so frightened that they would be next in line to the scaffold that they decided to take preemptive measures and send Robbie and his gang there first.
So the Reign of Terror ended and the more boring part of the revolution went on.


==Main Characters==
===Georges Couthon===
====Louis XVI.King of France and of Navarre====
Messed up big time and got his Head chopped of in Public.


====Maria Antoinette, Queen of France and Navarre====
A bloodthirsty cripple with a steampunk wheelchair. Like Robespierre and Saint-Just he became a victim of the preemptive strike and got his head chopped off. As the guillotine was not built with accessibility for the disabled in mind he nearly got off the hook.
Got her Head chopped of in Public for outrageous spending habits and not being french enough.


====Georges Jacques Danton====
===Jean-Paul Marat===
Revolutionary, Advocate and Whoremonger of great magnitude.
Got sentenced to death for not being radical enough, and got his head chopped of in public.


====Maximilien Robespierre====
Physician, journalist and part-time inhabitant of the Paris sewer system. In his time he was the generic ''Fox News'' anchor out for blood. Stabbed in a bathtub and later honored with a painting showing his dead body lying in said bathtub.
Revolutionary, Advocate and Killjoy
Messed with the wrong People and was shot in the face, and finally got his head chopped of in public for being too radical.


====Louis Antoine Léon de Saint-Just====
===Olympe de Gouges===
Max's Buddy, and possibly Gay Lover.
Got his Head chopped of too.


====Georges Couthon====
Abolitionist and Feminist. Unfortunately she found herself ahead of her time.
was an angry, bloodthirsty cripple riding a steampunk wheelchair.
Together with Robespierre and Saint-Just he became the victim of a preemptive strike and got his head chopped of.
Because the Guillotine was not built with accessibility for the disabled in mind, he nearly got of the hook.


====Jean-Paul Marat====
===Charles-Henri Sanson===
Physician, Journalist and Part-time inhabitant of the Sewer system of Paris.
In his age, he was the generic Fox-News Anchor out for Blood, he got stabbed in the Bathtub and was honored with a painting showing his dead body in said bathtub.


====Olympe de Gouges====
High executioner of the French Republic. In charge of chopping off all those heads, a job he inherited from his father.
Abolitionist and Feminist.
Unfortunately she found herself ahead of her time(pun).


====Charles-Henri Sanson====
==Lulzy activities of The French Revolution==
High executioner of the French Republic.
In charge of the chopping of, of Heads in public, a shitty job he inherited from his dad.
How the hell does an Executioner ask his GF if she gives head without sounding creepy?   


*Overthrowing the Monarchy.
*Hiding, if you were of noble birth.
*Seeking out all traitors and [[enemies]] of the revolution.
*Joining a radical political party.
*Trolling those who lost family members during ''The Terror''.
*Chopping off heads.
*Watching public executions.
*Getting your head chopped off.
*Joining the [[army]] and fighting for equality, freedom and brotherhood.
*Storming a prison and brutally killing the guards after crippling them.
*Writing for a newspaper which demands there must be more head-chopping and guard crippling.
*Killing priests after asking for the sacrament of penance beforehand.


==Fun Activities to do during the Revolution==
==See also==
*overthrow the Monarchy
*[[Civil war]]
*write shit no one understands, like the "declaration of human rights"
*[[France]]
*hide, if you are a Nobleman
*[[Napoleon]]
*seek out traitors and enemies of the revolution, and kill em
*Join a radical Party
*Troll those who lost family members during the Terror
*chop of Heads
*get your head chopped of
*watch public executions, and give funny remarks
*join the army, and fight for equality, freedom and brotherhood
*storm a luxurious Prison, free seven Prisoners, and brutally kill the crippled guards
*write for a newspaper which demands more head-chopping
*Get laid by using phrases like “This could be our last night!”
*Kill priests, don’t forget to get the sacrament of penance beforehand


[[category:Events]]
[[category:Events]]
{{Stub}}
{{DISPLAYTITLE:The French Revolution}}

Revision as of 13:23, 29 October 2014

The French Revolution was an amazingly insane clusterfuck that hit France in the late 18th century, paving the way for extensive IRL pwning, war, the first republic, Napoleon, human rights and other shit nobody cares about.

Prelude

In 1774 Louis XVI became King of France and after many expensive undertakings, including his assistance of America in their war for independence just to stick it to the British and his wife looting the royal bank account for bling, he was broke like a nigga on food stamps. To get himself out of debt and generate some cash he called in the assembly of notables, a bunch of aristocrats, gay clergymen and other rich fucks, in order to ask for permission to raise taxes which only resulted in them telling him to GTFO. In 1789 Louis decided to call for an assembly of the estates general, a body composed of the clergy, the nobility and everyone else who wasn’t of any special interest at all. Unfortunately he couldn’t push through with his tax reforms because too many filthy peasants were pissed by the fact they had no vote, no national assembly and no deodorant. In his attempts to difuse tension and sort things out Louis only managed to enrage 90% of the population to the point of revolution. What followed was a TL;DR of constitutional monarchy, treason, war and a fuckload of public decapitations.

The Reign of Terror

The Reign of Terror came about following a bitchfight between the Girondin and the Jacobin parties, but under the firm lead of Maximilien Robespierre and the Committee of Public Safety, which was more or less a pack of well armed Social Justice warriors. It evolved into epic events of indiscriminate mass public murder claiming the lives a large number of frenchies. Ultimately members of the CPS became so frightened they themselves would become the next in line to the scaffold that they decided to take preemptive measures and sent Robbie and his friends there first. So the Reign ended and the more boring part of the revolution went on.

Children of The Revolution

Louis XVI King of France & Navarre

Messed up big time and got his head chopped off in public.

Maria Antoinette, Queen of France & Navarre

Got her head chopped of in public for outrageous spending habits and not being French enough.

Georges Jacques Danton

Revolutionary, advocate and whoremonger of great magnitude. Sentenced to death for not being radical enough and got his head chopped of in public.

Maximilien Robespierre

Revolutionary, advocate and killjoy. Shot in the face and then decapitated for being too radical.

Louis Antoine Léon de Saint-Just

Max's buddy and possibly gay lover. Decapitated.

Georges Couthon

A bloodthirsty cripple with a steampunk wheelchair. Like Robespierre and Saint-Just he became a victim of the preemptive strike and got his head chopped off. As the guillotine was not built with accessibility for the disabled in mind he nearly got off the hook.

Jean-Paul Marat

Physician, journalist and part-time inhabitant of the Paris sewer system. In his time he was the generic Fox News anchor out for blood. Stabbed in a bathtub and later honored with a painting showing his dead body lying in said bathtub.

Olympe de Gouges

Abolitionist and Feminist. Unfortunately she found herself ahead of her time.

Charles-Henri Sanson

High executioner of the French Republic. In charge of chopping off all those heads, a job he inherited from his father.

Lulzy activities of The French Revolution

  • Overthrowing the Monarchy.
  • Hiding, if you were of noble birth.
  • Seeking out all traitors and enemies of the revolution.
  • Joining a radical political party.
  • Trolling those who lost family members during The Terror.
  • Chopping off heads.
  • Watching public executions.
  • Getting your head chopped off.
  • Joining the army and fighting for equality, freedom and brotherhood.
  • Storming a prison and brutally killing the guards after crippling them.
  • Writing for a newspaper which demands there must be more head-chopping and guard crippling.
  • Killing priests after asking for the sacrament of penance beforehand.

See also

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