Ozzy Osbourne

Stats

• Height: 5'10

• Weight: 156 pounds

• Class: Satanic Cleric

• Charisma: +10

• Weakness: Parkinsons

• Status: Dead

Ozzy Osbourne (Powerword 'John Michael Osborne, The Prince Of Darkness, The Godfather of Heavy Metal - December 3, 1948 - July 22, 2025) who is best known for songs like Crazy Train. Iron Man, Children Of The Grave, and War Pigs and if you have never heard of them you are a sheltered little Faggot that listens to Shit music like Kanye West.

Today on July 22, 2025 Ozzy has proudly taken his seat on the side of Lucifer and he'll always be known as trying to bring Children into the fold of Satanism as people like Ed and Lorraine Warren accused his music as having backmasked lyrics that were designed to bring the listener into the fold of Satanic worship. Mothers also took Ozzy to court, looking for an easy payday, accusing him of having subliminal messages in his songs like Suicide Solution because their Angsty little brat took a whole bottle of asprin to escape their shitty life with their helicopter Parents.

Ozzy Osbourne will always be known for his contributions to Heavy Metal and his eager willingness to take it one step more to bring attention to the genre, such as when he pissed on the Alamo in a woman's dress while shit faced drunk.

Raise your hand in the devil horn position as we show respect for this giant of Heavy Metal.

	“	Sobriety fucking sucks	„
	—Ozzy: The Decline of Western Civilization Part II: The Metal Years

Black Sabbath

Black Sabbath is the origin of Heavy Metal and if you want to use the Smoke On The Water by Deep Purple argument you are a Fucktard and can just get the Hell out of here.

Ozzy was hired into what would become Black Sabbath along with the Bass playing genius Geezer Butler after putting up an ad, in 1968 saying OZZY ZIG Needs Gig – has own PA. The new band, along with Tony Iommi and Bill Ward was named the extremely Gay name of Polka Tulk Blues Band.

It was in 1969, after Geezer Butler noticed that people were lining up to see the Horror Movie Black Sabbath starring Boris Karloff that he realized that people would insepidly give up their money because they wanted to be scared shitless. Being into the Occult at the time, Geezer Butler woke up and saw a shadowey figure at the end of his bed. Afterwards he and Ozzy were inspired to write the song Black Sabbath. Inspired by the song's dark tone, the band wisely changed its name to Black Sabbath to contrast the Queer Flower Power music of the early 1970s.

It was in 1979 that, according to Tony Iommi Ozzy was fired from the band for lack of input and being drunk all the time or according to Ozzy, he quit the band because Iommi was stuck on doing songs that were written only to scare little kids that were about Devils, Demons and Jack-O-Lanterns and refused to grow as a band.

Still, to this day, Black Sabbath is a power house in Heavy Metal being known for songs like War Pigs, Iron Man, Paranoid and Changes. For you Trendy Fuckers that claim to be hard core fans, Children Of The Grave, Faires Wear Boots and Planet Caravan that you have never heard. Download them now and you can have 3 more songs to talk about so you can convince your friends that you're a hard-core fan when you're buying tickets to the Black Sabbath - Ozzy Osbourne memorial tour.

Oh, and Fairies Wear Boots isn't about those Evil creations by Disney like Tinkerbell. It's about Skinheads. We just helped you grow as a fan. Now fuck off.

Solo Career

In 1979 Ozzy was signed by Jet records. Wanting to get into the music business herself, Don Arden made his Daughter Sharon Arden, or better known as Sharonnnnnnnnnnnnn, as his manager.

With the great guitarist who was known to have pictures of Eddie Van Halen on his foot pedals, Randy Rhoads, who came from the no-name, unknown group known as Quiet Riot , Bob Daisley on Bass and some other guys that no one really knows the names of without looking at the album jacket, Ozzy's solo group was formed.

The album Blizzard of Ozz, written by Ozzy Osbourne and cowritten by Bob Daisly and Randy Rhoads was released in 1980 and achieved multi-platinum success without a top 40 single because word of mouth sold the album when songs like Turning Japanese, The Tide Is High and What I Like About You were clogging up the airwaves.

Wanting to announce his solo career, Sharon had the bright idea, (no - we're serious, this was genius). Sharon had the bright idea of using the overused hippy trope of releasing doves as a sign of peace during a meeting with CBS executives in Los Angeles after signing his solo career deal in 1981. One of the poor doves landed on the table in front of Ozzy and he picked it up and bit its head off.

Being immature little children, reporters felt it was their place to inform the masses about an Insane sicko that would bite the head off of a poor defenseless bird. As most know, even bad press is good press and everyone became aware of the name Ozzy Osbourne and either liked him or hated him.

Randy Rhoads Death

March 19, 1982 was a sad day in metal history because it was the day that Randy Rhoads died in a plane crash.

A coked up, days without sleep Andrew Aycock was piloting a plane and grazed the tour bus killing Rhoads and himself. Witnesses say the fire after the crash was so intense that Rhoads could only be identified by his jewelery.

Don Airey, keyboardest at the time, claims he was looking through a telephoto lens and says that Andrew Aycock was trying to kill his bith of an ex-wife Wanda Aycock who was on the tour bus. Seeing that the plane was about to crash into the bus, Randy Rhoads pulled the pilot's stick causing the plane's wing to clip the bus and crash causing everyone to burn up in hell fire.

Zakk Wylde

Zakk Wylde (Power Word Zachary Phillip Wylde, Born as Jeffrey Phillip Wielandt January 14, 1967) is the second best guitarist to play with Ozzy and was hired in 1987 when Ozzy's Cunt of a wife Sharon Osbourne fired then guitarist Jake E. Lee for some reason or another.

Zakk has performed on many of Ozzy's albums and has a sucessful career on his own.

He has played for and contributed to the following Ozzy albums:

• 1988: No Rest for the Wicked

• 1990: Just Say Ozzy (live album)

• 1991: No More Tears

• 1993: Live & Loud (live album)

• 1995: Ozzmosis

• 2001: Down to Earth

• 2002: Live at Budokan (live album)

• 2007: Black Rain

• 2022: Patient Number 9

Ozzfest

Ozzfest was an annual music tour organized by Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne and later Jack Off Osbourne because Mommy and Daddy were trying their hardest to set him up as a producer but the only thing he could sell was his Daddy.

The concert was 40% known bands, 60% unknown bands and the only reason you stayed there til the end was because it closed with Ozzy.

Really, it was bad. No. Really it was bad. The only thing that sold it was Ozzy and if it weren't for protests against Marilyn Manson and his links to Columbine in its early years, most people wouldn't even know that it existed.

✡️ Sharonnnnnnnnnnn Osbourne ✡️

Sharon Osbourne, (Powerword Sharon Rachel Levy, Later Sharon Rachel Arden - October 9, 1952) was your behind the scenes Manager/Wife that unfortunately came to public notice thanks to the Television show - The Osbournes where she was known for losing credit cards and throwing rotten hams at her neighbors for singing religous songs.

Some claim that she is responsable for reigniting Ozzy's career thanks to her starting Ozzfest but a lot of that has to go to mad mothers protesting Marilyn Manson and because he was the favorite music artist of Eric and Dylan.

She is most famous for her being on The Talk and her being fired for her defense of Piers Morgan and his comments against the half-nigger boat girl Megan Markle.

As expected, siding with someone that had an opinion against a half-nigger had people throwing the Racist title at Sharon. CBS, after an imaginary investigation, decided that sharon's views did not align with theirs and fired her from The Talk

Children

Out of his six Kids, only 2 are unfortunately known.

Kelly Osbourne is a fat little pig that is always trying to get into fights with Christina Aguilera for reasons we don't know. She fancies herself a singer and we would post her cover of Like A Virgin but we don't want to cause mass, Lemming like Suicides.

She is mostly known for doing voice over work for Disney, playing Hildy in the 7D. The rest of her career is mostly cameos and bit parts in Movies and Television.

Jack Off Osbourne is propably less of a person than his sister Kelly because he really can't do anything unless he's riding on the coat tails of his father.

He is mostly known for being in shows like The Osbournes, Ozzy and Jack's World Detour and The Osbournes Want To Believe with his family. He has done other work but no one is really aware of it because his Daddy wasn't there to promote him.

Saying or reading Jack Off Osbourne's name in a television title or synopsis is the fastest way to get someone to change the channel.

Controversies

One thing Ozzy is known for is his controversies, in fact, some people have actually accused him of staging them for attention from the press after he became imfamous for his 1981 biting the head off of a dove at a CBS records meeting with CBS executives and biting the head off of another one as security was escorting him out.

In the same year, 1981, during a concert, someone threw a weakened bat up on the stage. Thinking that it was a plastic bat, or so he claims, Ozzy bit the head off of it which solidified his Satanic image with Evangelists, Religious Leaders, Mothers and the press. On the dark side, the bat was still alive and bit Ozzy and he had to get four weeks of Rabies shots.

In 1982 while drunk and wearing one of Sharon's dresses because she had taken his clothes so he couldn't go out and buy alcohol or drugs, Ozzy pissed on a 19th century failure to stop Mexican Immigration called the Alamo.

Ozzy was slapped with a $40 fine, a 10 year ban from playing in that sickening, sun burnt state called Texas and donated $10,000 to the fraudulent organization, The Daughters of the Republic of Texas.

Television Evangalists like Jimmy Swaggert, Fake Parapsychologists like Ed and Lorraine Warren and Your Mom have accused Ozzy of Satanic lyrics, causing children to become possessed and subliminal messages hidden in songs that caused their little Angels to committ suicide. People have idioticly tried to sue but judges having 6 brain cells have thrown these cases out on the grounds of utter stupidity.

In 2020 he got into an Internet Sissy Fight with our God Emperor Donald Trump because he used the song Crazy Train without permission.

Hair Metal

Best known as The Metal That Your Sister Listens To or that Gay as shit music that Little Boys That Want To Be Little Girls listen to is the Genre that killed Heavy Metal because its overly feminine style of putting out a heavy rocking song and then following up with a power ballad, A big Fuck you to those Homos that called themselves Guns and Roses for starting what became the Bullshit industry standard because Hair Metal songs were radio friendly. They avoided genres that were no goes like Satanists, Drugs, Dead Bodies etc.

Because they were Television friendly in looks as compared to bands like Twisted Sister or Quiet Riot they were given a lot of rotation on MTV where they would play the hard rocking song from the pretty boy band for the boys and a sensual power ballad run so that girls could Schlick to in front of the TV while guys wearing makeup and with big hair sang about how they respected girls.

This is the reason why Rap took over. Grunge had it's day but people got sick off some Emo bitch singing why he needs a reason to not commit suicide. Rap offered something different and being lumped into Hair Metal, Heavy Metal and people like Ozzy Osbourne were tossed on the trash heap in the mid 1990s.

See Also

• Drugs

• MTV

• Music

• Religion

• Satan

• Satanism

• Television

External Links

• BBC

• NBC

• Ozzy Predicts His Own Death

• Sharon On Assisted Suicide

• Wikipedia

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Article of the Now July 23, 24 & 25 2025
Preceded by Marc Lépine	Ozzy Osbourne	Succeeded by TBA