User:Schnookums: Difference between revisions
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Revision as of 13:15, 9 June 2015
Sweep & Mop
Main Page
Current Threat
Article of the Now
According to a very reliable source, a drug is any chemical substance which changes normal body function. While drugs are used by nearly everyone and being high is a hoot and a holler, the discussion of drugs is the source of much drama on the Interbutts.
The drama generally starts with drug users who post while high, and whine endlessly about the legalization and decriminalization of their drug of choice. Their reasons range from the general harmlessness of being stoned to their beliefs that tripping balls provides legitimate cognitive benefits, as opposed to simply being fun. These morons generally piss off the rest of the druggie community (the ones with functional nervous systems, at least) by making them all look like ignorant burn-outs.
On the opposite end of the spectrum are those who hate drugs; these types claim to not see the point of taking a drug, regardless of it being harmful or not and regardless of the fact they they most likely chain-smoke and are alcoholic, coffee addicts, who chronically masturbate to their child porn. Despite the glaring hypocrisy, these upstanding citizens are too burnt out from their mentally onerous worship of social fascism to even acknowledge their own cognitive dissonance. Dr. Park N. Stones has studied this phenomenon and claims that these people are either lamers, larpers, underage B&s, trolls, fundies, straight edgers, or people that took Reefer Madness way too seriously. Particularly in the United States the Christians fear that if people, especially children, started to do drugs then they would turn away from religion and there simply would not be enough adolescent semen for their Evangelical overlords to guzzle. Furthermore, the subset of these geniuses that are not trolling are the same people responsible for the war on drugs as well as the genocide in Darfur.
A special mention should be given to sXer's, who tend to view themselves as analogues of John Wayne and therefore TOO independent and self-sustaining to ever rely on chemicals, you weakling. A MAN IS NOT AN ISLAND. Channeling the snide countenance of Vegeta and acting like they have reached the height of Darwinian perfection, they walk stolidly into their giant parties of disaffected whiny youth DRUG-FREE. To these folks, drugs are an anathema. On the other hand, insidious bitching about a harmless toker or wishing genuine violence on a contrived archenemy alliance of potsmokers/rapists/atheists is considered a healthy social activity.
| Archive.is 2 days ago |
Creationist 4 days ago |
Asperger's 6 days ago | |
Video of the Now
Picture of the Now
Quote of the Now
—Timothy Leary | ||
Did You Know...
- ...that some Whiney ass Spic Parents are suing because their Cheerleader daughter had a habit of drinking too many Energy Drinks every day and, predictably, her Heart Exploded?
- ...that Chuck Norris died? Get ready for a resurgance of Chuck Norris facts like how he's not really dead and is just taking a long nap.
- ...that it's St. Patrick's Day and 40% of the drunk driving deaths on this day will happen between midnight and 2:59 am?
- ...that some loser with too much money and not enough brains actually paid $14.6 million for a 1969 Fender Stratocaster that was played by Pink Floyd's David Gilmour?
- ...that The Seahawks Beat The Patriots 29-13 at this year's Superbowl? We're always happy to see The Patriots lose
- ... that boomer lawmakers are trying to ruin the internet with KOSA and other "bad internet bills" in the USA? You should tell them what you think, at badinternetbills.com!
- ... that another Valentine's Day has come and gone and you're still all alone? Are those voices in your head starting to become more persuasive?
- ... that Chuck E. Cheese (CEC Entertainment) CEO and President David McKillips resigned- most likely because his name was in the Epstein Files?
Current Threat
- January
New Year's Day (1st) • Martin Luther King, Jr. Day (3rd Monday)
- February
Valentine's Day (14th)
- March
Saint Patrick's Day (17th) • World Bipolar Day (30th)
- April
April Fools' Day (1st) • ED Rebirth Day (15th) • An Hero Day (20th) • 420 Day (20th)
- May
Star Wars Day (4th) • Mother's Day (2nd Sunday) • World Goth Day (22nd)
- June
Autistic Pride Day (18th) • Father's Day (3rd Sunday)
- July
Independence Day (4th)
- August
Friendship Day (4th) • Women's Equality Day (26th)
- September
Labor Day (1st Monday) • 9/11 (11th) • International Talk Like a Pirate Day (19th)
- October
World Animal Day (4th) • National Cat Day (29th) • Halloween (31th)
- November
Veterans Day (11th) • OldDirtyBtard (17th) • Thanksgiving (4th Thursday)
- December
World AIDS Day (1st) • Encyclopaedia Dramatica (10th) • Christmas Eve (24th) • Christmas Day (25th) • Kwanzaa (Dec 26th-Jan 1st) •
New Year's Eve (31st)
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Alamo
Kligzward • Honest Abe • Motor Oil • Annatar Scott • Sony Vegas • WikiShitizens
Adopted weasel
Friendly observer
On the forums I am a neutral observer who is loved by all. I take great pride in what I do.
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This happens when I am mistaken for a shitposter. -
I work 14 hours a day. It isn't easy but I always smile. -
Sometimes I take a break. -
Miscellaneous
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My great-great-grandfather proudly defended the lulz. -
Editing the wiki. -
OMG
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Summer -
Winter -
Now it's personal. -
These berries... so delicious. -
Go away. -
It's on! -
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- You were a newb at some point.
So help others achieve greatness.
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SIEG HEIL BANN STAR! This user is a member of the
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Schnookums is part of a series on Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage. |
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#MEEPCREW PRIDE WORLD WIDE :^) This user has proven their worth to ED under the guidance of the holy Pope Meepsheep and has been named an honorary member of the prestigious #Meepcrew. As a result, they will likely show excessive love for catgirls, admiration of Lil B, undying support of the black homosexual community, Adventure Time avocation, and rampant Pynchon fanboyism. Keep in mind they are your intellectual superior, but you can be this cool too someday! Please enable them with channel ops and powerful hallucinogens at all opportunities. |
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Schnookums
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