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Conficker: Difference between revisions
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[[Image:Conficker.jpg|thumb|You wouldn't want pinworms crawling around in your rectum, so treat your computer with the same respect]] | [[Image:Conficker.jpg|thumb|You wouldn't want pinworms crawling around in your rectum, so treat your computer with the same respect]] | ||
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The name comes from the word 'configure' and the [[German]] word 'ficker', meaning '[[fuck]]er', as to fuck with your computer's configuration settings. The [[FBI]] have put out a $250K reward for information leading to the arrest of [[Mike Sandy|its creators]]. | The name comes from the word 'configure' and the [[German]] word 'ficker', meaning '[[fuck]]er', as to fuck with your computer's configuration settings. The [[FBI]] have put out a $250K reward for information leading to the arrest of [[Mike Sandy|its creators]]. | ||
The only way to fully safeguard against Conficker is [[I GOT NORTON!|getting Norton]], which will [[pwn]] this shitty worm into oblivion, to be forgotten like the [[Y2K bug]]. | The only way to fully safeguard against Conficker is [[I GOT NORTON!|getting Norton]], which will [[pwn]] this shitty worm into oblivion, to be forgotten like the [[Y2K|Y2K bug]]. | ||
==Things that Conficker does== | ==Things that Conficker does== | ||
Revision as of 15:36, 25 March 2012
Conficker, also known as the venjix virus, is a hugely successful computer virus that will fuck up your computer the instant you let it in. Due to the failure of Microsoft, it is infecting computers at a rapid rate and their shitty patches and antivirus programs cannot compete. Conficker is truly the AIDS of computer viruses, given its brutality - king of the computer worms just as AIDS is king of the STDs. There are many ways you can get Conficker, including through internet downloads and by sticking an infected USB into your computer's tight hole.
The name comes from the word 'configure' and the German word 'ficker', meaning 'fucker', as to fuck with your computer's configuration settings. The FBI have put out a $250K reward for information leading to the arrest of its creators.
The only way to fully safeguard against Conficker is getting Norton, which will pwn this shitty worm into oblivion, to be forgotten like the Y2K bug.
Things that Conficker does
- Controls the operations of your entire computer.
- Freezes your mouse and keyboard
- Wipes your hard drive
- All your passwords, credit card info, personal information leaked to Conficker's creators.
People and groups afflicted by Conficker
- The UK Government House of Commons
- The UK Naval Fleet
- UK MoD
- France
- Germany
- Furfags
- Niggers
- Your school
- Your university
- Your workplace
- Your mother
- You
When Conficker will hit again
April 1, 2009. Be prepared!
NEVERMIND, WE WERE TROLLED.
Related Articles
 Conficker is part of a series on Security Faggots |
1337 h4x0rz Captain Crunch • Cult of the Dead Cow • David L. Smith • Gary McKinnon • GOBBLES • HD Moore • Jeff Moss • Kevin Mitnick • Lance M. Havok • Robert Morris • Theo de Raadt • weev • Woz
Try-Hards
2cash • AnonOps • Brian Salcedo • Fearnor • Fry Guy • Gadi Evron • g00ns • Hack This Site • Hacking Team • hann • Joanna Rutkowska • John Field • Joseph Camp • Lizard Squad • LulzSec • Mark Zuckerberg • MarshviperX • Masters of Deception • Michael Lynn • Krashed • Raven • r000t • Ryan • Steve Gibson • th3j35t3r • The Regime • Sabu • Zeekill
Related Shit
4chan 2025 MegaHack • Avira • Ciscogate • Cloudflare • Conficker • CyberDefender • Defcon • The Gibson • The Great Em/b/assy Security Leak of 2007 • Heartbleed • I GOT NORTON! • Is Your Son a Computer Hacker? • Operation Sundevil • PIFTS.exe • Social engineering • Stylometry • SubSeven • Zone-H |
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