Michelle Phan: Difference between revisions
imported>Unknown Created page with " {{gotis}} thumb|right|And she is a professional beauty specialist... '''Michelle Phan''' (also known as '''RiceBunny''') is an azn Vietnamese [[Camw..." |
imported>Shootl Edited grammar, updated information about Michelle's ownership of IQQU, and updated information about Michelle abandoning her gaming and charity channel. |
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[[File:LOLOLOL.jpg|thumb|right|And she is a professional beauty specialist...]] | [[File:LOLOLOL.jpg|thumb|right|And she is a professional beauty specialist...]] | ||
'''Michelle Phan''' (also known as '''RiceBunny''') is an [[azn]] [[Vietnamese]] [[Camwhore|makeup guru]] on [[YouTube]] who came to [[Unwarranted Self Importance|mainstream fame]] after posting a [[Lady Gaga]] tutorial showing off her [[fan|Phan love]] of wanting to look like a [[hermaphrodite]]. Since then, she has [[sellout|started working for Lancome]], but we all know it's a [[lie]] to cover up the fact that she does [[blowjobs]] regularly to keep up with the bills. | '''Michelle Phan''' (also known as '''RiceBunny''') is an [[azn]] [[Vietnamese]] [[Camwhore|makeup guru]] on [[YouTube]] who came to [[Unwarranted Self Importance|mainstream fame]] after posting a [[Lady Gaga]] tutorial showing off her [[fan|Phan love]] of wanting to look like a [[hermaphrodite]]. Since then, she has [[sellout|started working for Lancome]], but we all know it's a [[lie]] to cover up the fact that she does [[blowjobs]] regularly to keep up with the bills. Phan used to own her own skin care line called [[Crap|IQQU]], but only dumb [[sluts]] buy that shit. Sucks for you if you contracted [[herpes]] from using the products, because Michelle's already got your [[money]]. | ||
==Her Beautiful Story== | ==Her Beautiful Story== | ||
<center><youtube>UpnmC3BbvEg</youtube></center><br/> | <center><youtube>UpnmC3BbvEg</youtube></center><br/> | ||
The [[Shit_nobody_cares_about|beautiful story]] of Michelle's success started with [[Blogger]] where she made ridiculously [[lulzy]] blog posts about her being a [[Wiccan]] | The [[Shit_nobody_cares_about|beautiful story]] of Michelle's success started with [[Blogger]] where she made ridiculously [[lulzy]] blog posts about her being a [[Wiccan]], [[evil]], how she [[emo|~can't stand life like this~]], and other shit like that. Michelle eventually realized that [[Blogger]] didn't offer enough enough potential for [[internet celebrity|e-fame]] so she deleted her account and made a [[Xanga]] page in 2004. On Xanga, she posted even more stupid crap, especially makeup. It wasn't long before Michelle uploaded a makeup tutorial to [[YouTube]]. It quickly became popular, for obvious [[fapping|reasons]]. These days, Michelle doesn't use her Xanga much anymore, although she is active on [[Facebook]] and [[Twitter]]. Both are full of [[lulzy]] posts and [[contradiction|contradictions]] that showcase Michelle's shitty grasp of the English language. | ||
== The Poor Girl... and Her Shitty Lying Family == | == The Poor Girl... and Her Shitty Lying Family == | ||
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[[File:2414468_1_full.jpg|thumb|right|Look , you don't understand! She is REALLY poor!]] | [[File:2414468_1_full.jpg|thumb|right|Look , you don't understand! She is REALLY poor!]] | ||
Michelle claims to have come from a [[Shit nobody cares about|poor background]] to the point where her family survived on food stamps | Michelle claims to have come from a [[Shit nobody cares about|poor background]] to the point where her family survived on food stamps. You really have to wonder if that's true when you see her running around with expensive shit like [[what|La Mer creams, $12,000 Balmain jackets, and new cars]]. Furthermore, Michelle says she had [[Apple]] products at the age of eight. Regardless of whether she was poor or not, everyone knows that people who own Apple products are assholes anyway. | ||
Michelle talks about her family occasionally, and they seem to be full of as much as fail as herself. In one of her "blooper" videos, she mentions her brother, who "gives her advice" about editing her videos. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oPcz-vsOv30] Michelle has also discussed her [[Your mom|mother]] and how she encouraged Michelle to become a doctor so she could support | Michelle talks about her family occasionally, and they seem to be full of as much as fail as herself. In one of her "blooper" videos, she mentions her brother, who "gives her advice" about editing her videos. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oPcz-vsOv30] Michelle has also discussed her [[Your mom|mother]] and how she encouraged Michelle to become a doctor so she could support their "poor" family. Supposedly, Michelle's [[fag|father]] left the family when she was only a wee [[Azn]] child, probably because he discovered early on what a whore Michelle would turn out to be someday. | ||
It is | It is widely known that she has a sugar daddy boyfriend named Carl Choi, who is rich (and [[fugly]]) enough to have his own page on [[Wikipedia]]! According to that shitty article, he works on "Asian American representation in the media." In other words, he is a [[The Gay Pimp|pimp]] who advocates for equal rights for [[Azn]] hookers in the prostitution industry. Michelle would have been part of his advocacy if it weren't for the fact that [[Rape|Carl wanted to keep her to himself]]. He'll eventually trade up soon. | ||
==Her Education and Talents== | ==Her Education and Talents== | ||
Michelle attended Tampa Bay Technical High School. She repeatedly claims that she majored in dermatology there, which is utter bullshit, | Michelle attended Tampa Bay Technical High School. She repeatedly claims that she majored in dermatology there, which is utter bullshit, because Tampa Bay Technical High School doesn't even have a dermatology program. | ||
Phail went on to an expensive ass art school | Phail went on to an expensive ass art school called the Ringling College of Art and Design located in Sarasota, FL. Michelle claims she was studying illustration even though her [[crappy|crappy drawing skills]] would indicate otherwise. The only evidence we have of her [[bullshit|artwork]] is Michelle's shitty ''Final Fantasy'' [[fanart]] on her [[DeviantART]] account. | ||
Since becoming a [[camwhore|YouTube celebrity]], Michelle Phail dropped out of college to dedicate all her time to her YouTube career. Occasionally she releases some new [[bullshit|artwork]] claiming she came up with the concept all in her head even though she obviously traces photos of [http://michellephail.tumblr.com/post/2634622894 landscapes] and [http://michellephail.tumblr.com/post/2634784583 celebrities]. | Since becoming a [[camwhore|YouTube celebrity]], Michelle Phail dropped out of college to dedicate all her time to her YouTube career. Occasionally she releases some new [[bullshit|artwork]] claiming she came up with the concept all in her head even though she obviously traces photos of [http://michellephail.tumblr.com/post/2634622894 landscapes] and [http://michellephail.tumblr.com/post/2634784583 celebrities]. | ||
== Luv 4 Jesus== | == Luv 4 Jesus== | ||
Michelle Phail likes to project herself as a perfect and pure woman, continually reminding everyone that she is a devout [[Christian]] (though she once claimed to be [[Wiccan]] on her Blogger page). [[File:DEVOUTCHRISTIANLULZ.jpg|thumb|right|I iz righteous [[Jesus]]-lover yet wearz bikini in frontz of old [[pedo]]]] Michelle also likes to remind her viewers that she believes inner beauty is the most important thing, which is clearly a load of shit, since even Michelle herself can recognize that she's fucking ugly without any makeup on. | Michelle Phail likes to project herself as a perfect and pure woman, continually reminding everyone that she is a devout [[Lies|Christian]] (though she once claimed to be [[Wiccan]] on her Blogger page). [[File:DEVOUTCHRISTIANLULZ.jpg|thumb|right|I iz righteous [[Jesus]]-lover yet wearz bikini in frontz of old [[pedo]]]] Michelle also likes to remind her viewers that she believes inner beauty is the most important thing, which is clearly a load of shit, since even Michelle herself can recognize that she's fucking ugly without any makeup on. | ||
Regarding her religion, Michelle has made some pretty fucked up observations that even the [[Westboro Baptist Church]] would find weird. | Regarding her religion, Michelle has made some pretty fucked up observations that even the [[Westboro Baptist Church]] would find weird. For instance, one of the most glaringly obvious examples of her contradictory [[Christian]] beliefs is her love of bragging about the ugly shit that she owns. Oh, and who can forget about the "Chicken and Rice" story? | ||
{{quote|I looked to the left, and saw 2 guys sitting in a corner eating Chicken and Rice from 53rd and 6th st. | {{quote|I looked to the left, and saw 2 guys sitting in a corner eating Chicken and Rice from 53rd and 6th st. | ||
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In her videos, Michelle displays her [[shit|artistic ability]] via a penchant for [[Creampie|rubbing weirdass shit on her face]] to make millions from her viewers | In her videos, Michelle displays her [[shit|artistic ability]] via a penchant for [[Creampie|rubbing weirdass shit on her face]] to make millions from her viewers. Her viewers consist mainly of [[16-year-old girl|16 year olds]], [[sick fucks]], and [[you]]; most of them either complain about not seeing enough [[boobs]] or [[LOL|not being able to afford the crap she's using]]. In November 2010, Phail became the No. 1 most subscribed [[whore|female]] on [[YouTube]] and the first person to reach 1 million subscribers, but it's obvious she paid her way through with her [[lies|hard-earned]] money. | ||
Again, like every [[internet celebrity]], | Again, like every [[internet celebrity]], Michelle copies complete nobodies, like Arissa Cheo (some boring [[bitch]] from [[Singapore]]) and the [[Japanese]] slut MANWOMANFILM [http://www.youtube.com/manwomanfilm]. When confronted, Michelle denied copying Arissa, and said she was inspired by the "rocker chic" of [[Lindsay Lohan]] and women in [[China]]. Yeah, right. | ||
[[File:OHSOCHEAP.JPG|thumb|right|Admit it Michelle Phail, you are like every rich person: a greedy asshole]] | [[File:OHSOCHEAP.JPG|thumb|right|Admit it Michelle Phail, you are like every rich person: a greedy asshole]] | ||
She's also particularly [[Trying too hard|vocal]] about her being an [[otaku]] and [[Girl Gamer|hardcore]] [[video game]] [[nerd]], but apparently she doesn't play video games frequently, just ''[[Final Fantasy]]'' like every other [[weeaboo]]. And she doesn't even play ''that'' often. It's pretty obvious since girls who do play video games are [[fat]] [[virgins]]. When people began to doubt these statements, she made a [http://www.youtube.com/PressStart gaming channel] with some friend of hers who nobody cares about. | She's also particularly [[Trying too hard|vocal]] about her being an [[otaku]] and [[Girl Gamer|hardcore]] [[video game]] [[nerd]], but apparently she doesn't play video games frequently, just ''[[Final Fantasy]]'' like every other [[weeaboo]]. And she doesn't even play ''that'' often. It's pretty obvious since girls who do play video games are [[fat]] [[virgins]]. When people began to doubt these statements, she made a [http://www.youtube.com/PressStart gaming channel] called [[Shit nobody cares about|PressStart]] with some friend of hers who nobody cares about. | ||
Michelle had an agreement with her friend to produce videos for PressStart on an alternating schedule. She has since stopped making any sort of content for PressStart out of pure [[laziness]]. This is not really a loss for anybody, because it is obvious that less than 0.1% of Michelle's subscribers actually give a shit about her gaming, and she only talks about it just to get some [[cock]]. Clever, [[No|innit]]? | |||
Aside from her makeup and gaming channels, Michelle also has a third channel, Ricebunny [http://www.youtube.com/ricebunny], where she uploads videos of random shit and uses whatever measly proceeds she collects to donate to [[lies|charity]] | Aside from her makeup and gaming channels, Michelle also has a third channel, Ricebunny [http://www.youtube.com/ricebunny], where she uploads videos of random shit and uses whatever measly proceeds she collects to donate to [[lies|charity]]. | ||
{{quote| | {{quote| | ||
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Similar and inspired by [[faggot|Jumbafund]]|}} | Similar and inspired by [[faggot|Jumbafund]]|}} | ||
Michelle | At first, she barely uploaded videos to this channel at all. Michelle started producing more content for Ricebunny when a bunch of [[retards|fans]] and [[haters|haters]] called her out on it. After a few months of making content, Michelle stopped making content for her third channel again. People can only speculate that she stopped making videos for charity because she is a lazy and greedy bitch. | ||
Michelle once took part in a cause to donate to victims of malaria. The charity campaign involved texting a word to a certain number. Michelle claimed to be donating "all day" despite the fact that the system only supported three donations per person. [http://twitpic.com/33xdbg] | |||
As you can see, she loves to donate to charities. She also RUUUUUVES eco-friendly stuffs! | As you can see, she loves to donate to charities. She also RUUUUUVES eco-friendly stuffs! | ||
So what if she uses Lancome, | So what if she uses Lancome, a company that is notorious for testing on animals? She gets paid for it, so she can use all that money for eco-friendly causes! | ||
== IQQU == | == IQQU == | ||
Michelle | Michelle was one of the owners of the [[Creampie|skincare line]] IQQU and often [[attention whoring|whores]] it out in her videos. [[Noone]] knows where IQQU is actually headquartered, since Michelle had opened an office for it in Florida but the [[shit]] was manufactured in Thailand. Ooh, exported labor? | ||
IQQU, in fact, is basically [[herpes]] gift-wrapped and you'd have to be really dumb to use that mess. In fact, Michelle ''only'' | IQQU, in fact, is basically [[herpes]] gift-wrapped and you'd have to be really dumb to use that mess. In fact, Michelle ''only'' showed off IQQU in her videos, since even ''she's'' [[smart]] enough to know that [[shit]] is fucking dangerous, and uses La Mer and Lancome when no one is looking. Unfortunately, [[12 year old girl|12-year-old]] [[Slut|sluts]] who are not as smart are gulled into believing her skin care miracles and feed her [[money]]. [[tl;dr|Basically]], if you bought IQQU, Michelle just [[Troll|trolled]] you. | ||
In 2009, some [[12 year old girl]] threatened Michelle with a lawsuit, but was too [[chickenshit]] [[Cop-out|to follow through]] when she realized she'd have to get [[Parental control|her parents involved]]. In early February 2011, however, some [[no-lifers]] discovered IQQU wasn't FDA-approved and Michelle actually had no legal rights to market the products anymore unless she renews her already-expired [[Irrelevant|LLC]]. [[Pwned|Ohhh, dang!]] Michelle pressed the panic button, realizing that she's in a pile of deep shit if this ever reaches court, and now claims that she doesn't own IQQU anymore. [[Orly?]] | In 2009, some [[12 year old girl]] threatened Michelle with a lawsuit, but was too [[chickenshit]] [[Cop-out|to follow through]] when she realized she'd have to get [[Parental control|her parents involved]]. In early February 2011, however, some [[no-lifers]] discovered IQQU wasn't FDA-approved and Michelle actually had no legal rights to market the products anymore unless she renews her already-expired [[Irrelevant|LLC]]. [[Pwned|Ohhh, dang!]] Michelle pressed the panic button, realizing that she's in a pile of deep shit if this ever reaches court, and now claims that she doesn't own IQQU anymore. [[Orly?]] | ||
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== Legion of Phans and X-Phans == | == Legion of Phans and X-Phans == | ||
[[File:Michellepersonalarmy.jpg|thumb|right|Another instance of Michelle utilizing her pathetic personal army.]] | [[File:Michellepersonalarmy.jpg|thumb|right|Another instance of Michelle utilizing her pathetic personal army.]] | ||
Michelle has a bunch of [[White Knighting|Phans]] who will attack you if you insult her faster than you'll ever get laid. Her Phans, which consist of mostly [[12 year old girls]], will not hesitate to [[spam]] with a [[SRS BZNSS|vengeance]], as their dear idol can do no wrong. The story is all the same: Michelle will make [[USI|blog/Facebook/Twitter posts]] whining about how the [[H8r|h8rs]] [[Butthurt|hurt her feelings]] | Michelle has a bunch of [[White Knighting|Phans]] who will attack you if you insult her faster than you'll ever get laid. Her Phans, which consist of mostly [[12 year old girls]], will not hesitate to [[spam]] with a [[SRS BZNSS|vengeance]], as their dear idol can do no wrong. | ||
The story is all the same: Michelle will make [[USI|blog/Facebook/Twitter posts]] whining about how the [[H8r|h8rs]] [[Butthurt|hurt her feelings]]. This call to arms is followed up by her cowering behind her shield of [[loser]] Phans as they defend their Guru Goddess. Michelle will sometimes fight back, but, after noticing how much she [[fail|phails]] at being [[witty]] and that [[Twilight|Stephenie Meyer]] can write a better response than her, will try to [[Coolface|walk it off]] and tell her followers to [[Don't feed the trolls|"let the haters hate."]] | |||
An example of such cattiness happened in September 2010 on [[Twatter|Twitter]]. When Michelle was busy making yet another crappy make-up tutorial for Halloween | An example of such cattiness happened in September 2010 on [[Twatter|Twitter]]. When Michelle was busy making yet another crappy make-up tutorial for Halloween. Some [[16-year-old girl]] named Emily told said that Michelle's [[animu]] tutorials were [[Duh|dumb]]. Michelle [[Nerd Rage|RAAAEGED]] because [[ROFL|HOW DARE ANYONE MAKE FUN OF HER ANIMUS!!!1111]] So, she sicced her army onto Emily, who went on to become [[an hero]]. | ||
Despite her number of "supporters", both Michelle ''and'' her Phans are ridiculously easy to troll. Just say something like "your foundation is too orange" or [[Wapanese|"you pronounced ''kabuki'' incorrectly"]] and watch the RAAAAEG blossom for the next five days. Telling her to stop trying to be [[Lady Gaga]] and [[Michael Jackson]] also does the trick. Sit back, relax, and enjoy the [[lulz]]. | Despite her number of "[[retards|supporters]]", both Michelle ''and'' her Phans are ridiculously easy to troll. Just say something like "your foundation is too orange", "you are applying blush to the wrong part of your face", or [[Wapanese|"you pronounced ''kabuki'' incorrectly"]] and watch the RAAAAEG blossom like a bad case of herpes for the next five days. Telling her to stop trying to be [[Lady Gaga]] and [[Michael Jackson]] also does the trick. Sit back, relax, and enjoy the [[lulz]]. | ||
On the other side of the spectrum, Michelle's own [[h8r|h8 squad]] are just as [[stupid]] as she and the Phans are. They are collectively known as [[No-lifers|"critics" or "ex-Phans"]] and spend time [[No life|writing "critical" posts]] about her, hoping to [[srsly|expose]] her for the true [[bitch]] she really is, which is [[YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG|clearly ineffective]] compared to [[Smart|just trolling her]]. While they see themselves as [[an hero|an heroes]], they're just secretly [[jealous]] that they don't have the money nor influence to waste on bomber jackets like she does. To [http://gurugossip.omgforum.net/f13-michelle-phan troll] [http://michellephail.tumblr.com ''them''], tell them that they're [[Truth|never going to be as]] [[rich]], [[Internet celebrity|famous]], and [[Fatass|pretty]] as Michelle is. | On the other side of the spectrum, Michelle's own [[h8r|h8 squad]] are just as [[stupid]] as she and the Phans are. They are collectively known as [[No-lifers|"critics" or "ex-Phans"]] and spend time [[No life|writing "critical" posts]] about her, hoping to [[srsly|expose]] her for the true [[bitch]] she really is, which is [[YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG|clearly ineffective]] compared to [[Smart|just trolling her]]. While they see themselves as [[an hero|an heroes]], they're just secretly [[jealous]] that they don't have the money nor influence to waste on shitty overpriced bomber jackets like she does. To [http://gurugossip.omgforum.net/f13-michelle-phan troll] [http://michellephail.tumblr.com ''them''], tell them that they're [[Truth|never going to be as]] [[rich]], [[Internet celebrity|famous]], and [[Fatass|pretty]] as Michelle is. | ||
{{cg|Michelle Phail|MichelleGallery|center|<gallery> | {{cg|Michelle Phail|MichelleGallery|center|<gallery> | ||
Revision as of 00:54, 30 May 2011
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Michelle Phan = infected with GOTIS You can help by not giving her any attention.
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Michelle Phan (also known as RiceBunny) is an azn Vietnamese makeup guru on YouTube who came to mainstream fame after posting a Lady Gaga tutorial showing off her Phan love of wanting to look like a hermaphrodite. Since then, she has started working for Lancome, but we all know it's a lie to cover up the fact that she does blowjobs regularly to keep up with the bills. Phan used to own her own skin care line called IQQU, but only dumb sluts buy that shit. Sucks for you if you contracted herpes from using the products, because Michelle's already got your money.
Her Beautiful Story
The beautiful story of Michelle's success started with Blogger where she made ridiculously lulzy blog posts about her being a Wiccan, evil, how she ~can't stand life like this~, and other shit like that. Michelle eventually realized that Blogger didn't offer enough enough potential for e-fame so she deleted her account and made a Xanga page in 2004. On Xanga, she posted even more stupid crap, especially makeup. It wasn't long before Michelle uploaded a makeup tutorial to YouTube. It quickly became popular, for obvious reasons. These days, Michelle doesn't use her Xanga much anymore, although she is active on Facebook and Twitter. Both are full of lulzy posts and contradictions that showcase Michelle's shitty grasp of the English language.
The Poor Girl... and Her Shitty Lying Family
Michelle claims to have come from a poor background to the point where her family survived on food stamps. You really have to wonder if that's true when you see her running around with expensive shit like La Mer creams, $12,000 Balmain jackets, and new cars. Furthermore, Michelle says she had Apple products at the age of eight. Regardless of whether she was poor or not, everyone knows that people who own Apple products are assholes anyway.
Michelle talks about her family occasionally, and they seem to be full of as much as fail as herself. In one of her "blooper" videos, she mentions her brother, who "gives her advice" about editing her videos. [1] Michelle has also discussed her mother and how she encouraged Michelle to become a doctor so she could support their "poor" family. Supposedly, Michelle's father left the family when she was only a wee Azn child, probably because he discovered early on what a whore Michelle would turn out to be someday.
It is widely known that she has a sugar daddy boyfriend named Carl Choi, who is rich (and fugly) enough to have his own page on Wikipedia! According to that shitty article, he works on "Asian American representation in the media." In other words, he is a pimp who advocates for equal rights for Azn hookers in the prostitution industry. Michelle would have been part of his advocacy if it weren't for the fact that Carl wanted to keep her to himself. He'll eventually trade up soon.
Her Education and Talents
Michelle attended Tampa Bay Technical High School. She repeatedly claims that she majored in dermatology there, which is utter bullshit, because Tampa Bay Technical High School doesn't even have a dermatology program.
Phail went on to an expensive ass art school called the Ringling College of Art and Design located in Sarasota, FL. Michelle claims she was studying illustration even though her crappy drawing skills would indicate otherwise. The only evidence we have of her artwork is Michelle's shitty Final Fantasy fanart on her DeviantART account.
Since becoming a YouTube celebrity, Michelle Phail dropped out of college to dedicate all her time to her YouTube career. Occasionally she releases some new artwork claiming she came up with the concept all in her head even though she obviously traces photos of landscapes and celebrities.
Luv 4 Jesus
Michelle Phail likes to project herself as a perfect and pure woman, continually reminding everyone that she is a devout Christian (though she once claimed to be Wiccan on her Blogger page).
Michelle also likes to remind her viewers that she believes inner beauty is the most important thing, which is clearly a load of shit, since even Michelle herself can recognize that she's fucking ugly without any makeup on.
Regarding her religion, Michelle has made some pretty fucked up observations that even the Westboro Baptist Church would find weird. For instance, one of the most glaringly obvious examples of her contradictory Christian beliefs is her love of bragging about the ugly shit that she owns. Oh, and who can forget about the "Chicken and Rice" story?
—Michelle Phail, thinking rice and chicken could prove the existence of God | ||
Original, Generous Nerd
In her videos, Michelle displays her artistic ability via a penchant for rubbing weirdass shit on her face to make millions from her viewers. Her viewers consist mainly of 16 year olds, sick fucks, and you; most of them either complain about not seeing enough boobs or not being able to afford the crap she's using. In November 2010, Phail became the No. 1 most subscribed female on YouTube and the first person to reach 1 million subscribers, but it's obvious she paid her way through with her hard-earned money.
Again, like every internet celebrity, Michelle copies complete nobodies, like Arissa Cheo (some boring bitch from Singapore) and the Japanese slut MANWOMANFILM [2]. When confronted, Michelle denied copying Arissa, and said she was inspired by the "rocker chic" of Lindsay Lohan and women in China. Yeah, right.
She's also particularly vocal about her being an otaku and hardcore video game nerd, but apparently she doesn't play video games frequently, just Final Fantasy like every other weeaboo. And she doesn't even play that often. It's pretty obvious since girls who do play video games are fat virgins. When people began to doubt these statements, she made a gaming channel called PressStart with some friend of hers who nobody cares about.
Michelle had an agreement with her friend to produce videos for PressStart on an alternating schedule. She has since stopped making any sort of content for PressStart out of pure laziness. This is not really a loss for anybody, because it is obvious that less than 0.1% of Michelle's subscribers actually give a shit about her gaming, and she only talks about it just to get some cock. Clever, innit?
Aside from her makeup and gaming channels, Michelle also has a third channel, Ricebunny [3], where she uploads videos of random shit and uses whatever measly proceeds she collects to donate to charity.
At first, she barely uploaded videos to this channel at all. Michelle started producing more content for Ricebunny when a bunch of fans and haters called her out on it. After a few months of making content, Michelle stopped making content for her third channel again. People can only speculate that she stopped making videos for charity because she is a lazy and greedy bitch.
Michelle once took part in a cause to donate to victims of malaria. The charity campaign involved texting a word to a certain number. Michelle claimed to be donating "all day" despite the fact that the system only supported three donations per person. [4]
As you can see, she loves to donate to charities. She also RUUUUUVES eco-friendly stuffs! So what if she uses Lancome, a company that is notorious for testing on animals? She gets paid for it, so she can use all that money for eco-friendly causes!
IQQU
Michelle was one of the owners of the skincare line IQQU and often whores it out in her videos. Noone knows where IQQU is actually headquartered, since Michelle had opened an office for it in Florida but the shit was manufactured in Thailand. Ooh, exported labor?
IQQU, in fact, is basically herpes gift-wrapped and you'd have to be really dumb to use that mess. In fact, Michelle only showed off IQQU in her videos, since even she's smart enough to know that shit is fucking dangerous, and uses La Mer and Lancome when no one is looking. Unfortunately, 12-year-old sluts who are not as smart are gulled into believing her skin care miracles and feed her money. Basically, if you bought IQQU, Michelle just trolled you.
In 2009, some 12 year old girl threatened Michelle with a lawsuit, but was too chickenshit to follow through when she realized she'd have to get her parents involved. In early February 2011, however, some no-lifers discovered IQQU wasn't FDA-approved and Michelle actually had no legal rights to market the products anymore unless she renews her already-expired LLC. Ohhh, dang! Michelle pressed the panic button, realizing that she's in a pile of deep shit if this ever reaches court, and now claims that she doesn't own IQQU anymore. Orly?
Legion of Phans and X-Phans
Michelle has a bunch of Phans who will attack you if you insult her faster than you'll ever get laid. Her Phans, which consist of mostly 12 year old girls, will not hesitate to spam with a vengeance, as their dear idol can do no wrong.
The story is all the same: Michelle will make blog/Facebook/Twitter posts whining about how the h8rs hurt her feelings. This call to arms is followed up by her cowering behind her shield of loser Phans as they defend their Guru Goddess. Michelle will sometimes fight back, but, after noticing how much she phails at being witty and that Stephenie Meyer can write a better response than her, will try to walk it off and tell her followers to "let the haters hate."
An example of such cattiness happened in September 2010 on Twitter. When Michelle was busy making yet another crappy make-up tutorial for Halloween. Some 16-year-old girl named Emily told said that Michelle's animu tutorials were dumb. Michelle RAAAEGED because HOW DARE ANYONE MAKE FUN OF HER ANIMUS!!!1111 So, she sicced her army onto Emily, who went on to become an hero.
Despite her number of "supporters", both Michelle and her Phans are ridiculously easy to troll. Just say something like "your foundation is too orange", "you are applying blush to the wrong part of your face", or "you pronounced kabuki incorrectly" and watch the RAAAAEG blossom like a bad case of herpes for the next five days. Telling her to stop trying to be Lady Gaga and Michael Jackson also does the trick. Sit back, relax, and enjoy the lulz.
On the other side of the spectrum, Michelle's own h8 squad are just as stupid as she and the Phans are. They are collectively known as "critics" or "ex-Phans" and spend time writing "critical" posts about her, hoping to expose her for the true bitch she really is, which is clearly ineffective compared to just trolling her. While they see themselves as an heroes, they're just secretly jealous that they don't have the money nor influence to waste on shitty overpriced bomber jackets like she does. To troll them, tell them that they're never going to be as rich, famous, and pretty as Michelle is.
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DO NOT STEAL I AM ORIGINAL!
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Oh but she never credits them and instead she says she is the original one...hmmm
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Iz dat sum fukken sarcasm
Useful Links
- Template:Youtube2 - The makeup vidz
ricebunny - Just reading her tweets are lulzy enough. A great way to troll her is to make her butthurt by saying "Michael Jackson/animu/video games/your make-up product sucks".- Template:Youtube2 - Her retarded charity channel
- Template:Youtube2 - Michelle Phail creates lots of accounts to make extra subbers.
- Her blog - Many people don't even know she has a blog and so that might be the reason why she never updates it?
- DeviantART account
- IQQU Beauty - Does she still own this shitty skincare line?
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Michelle Phan is part of a series on Visit the Whores Portal for complete coverage. |
