Battlefield 3: Difference between revisions
imported>Banana Republic No edit summary |
imported>EvilestDeath No edit summary |
||
| Line 1: | Line 1: | ||
'''[[Battlefield]] 3''' (AKA "Bad Company: 3", "Be Advised: 3", "Battletoads: 3", or "Niggers in the Field: 3") is a [[FPS|First Person Shooter game]] that encourages its players to [[Camping|forage through bushes]] and spawn [[rape]] the other team. The game, which has slowly turned itself into a cheap knockoff of [[Call of Duty]]; boasts [[Shit no one cares about|controllable tanks, jets and other annoying vehicles]] that the developers behind other [[FPS]] franchises [[truth|intentionally omitted from their games]]. When arguing with a pasty-faced [[Faggot|Battlefag]], be prepared to listen to long-winded rants about Battlefield 3 having superb graphics (lol, only if you have a high-end PC) and [[Boring|large maps]]. Since the game was announced, preachy Battlefield fanboys have been waging an online [[jihad]] against [[Modern Warfare 3]]; all because they can't bear the thought of seeing another [[FPS|first person shooter]] outsell their precious game. In fact; for the past year or so, [[fanboys|Battlefield fans]] have talked more about Call of Duty than Battlefield itself, which just goes to show how Battlefield fanboys have become the [[religion|Jehova Witnesses]] of FPS gaming. | '''[[Battlefield]] 3''' (AKA "Bad Company: 3", "Be Advised: 3", "Battletoads: 3", "Call of Duty: Modern Warfield 3", or "Niggers in the Field: 3") is a [[FPS|First Person Shooter game]] that encourages its players to [[Camping|forage through bushes]] and spawn [[rape]] the other team. The game, which has slowly turned itself into a cheap knockoff of [[Call of Duty]]; boasts [[Shit no one cares about|controllable tanks, jets and other annoying vehicles]] that the developers behind other [[FPS]] franchises [[truth|intentionally omitted from their games]]. When arguing with a pasty-faced [[Faggot|Battlefag]], be prepared to listen to long-winded rants about Battlefield 3 having superb graphics (lol, only if you have a high-end PC) and [[Boring|large maps]]. Since the game was announced, preachy Battlefield fanboys have been waging an online [[jihad]] against [[Modern Warfare 3]]; all because they can't bear the thought of seeing another [[FPS|first person shooter]] outsell their precious game. In fact; for the past year or so, [[fanboys|Battlefield fans]] have talked more about Call of Duty than Battlefield itself, which just goes to show how Battlefield fanboys have become the [[religion|Jehova Witnesses]] of FPS gaming. | ||
==Multiplayer== | ==Multiplayer== | ||
| Line 5: | Line 5: | ||
Be advised. Be advised. Be advised. Be advised. Be advised. Be advised. Be advised. I will be hiding in that bush over there. | Be advised. Be advised. Be advised. Be advised. Be advised. Be advised. Be advised. I will be hiding in that bush over there. | ||
As in [[Battlefield: Bad Company 2|Bad Company 2]], you will get raped by reconfags, assaultfags and engineerfags ([[Dynamic Entry|only seen with rocket launchers]]). Playing support is slightly less homosexual. | As in [[Battlefield: Bad Company 2|Bad Company 2]], you will get raped by reconfags, assaultfags and engineerfags ([[Dynamic Entry|only seen with rocket launchers]]). Playing support is slightly less homosexual. | ||
Get ready to see mangled [[Turtleguy|turtlemen]] hiding in the bushes. In your spare time not getting shot the fuck up or camping in a bush because you're a [[Gay|faggot]], [[you|you'll]] be camping your balls off on a roflcopter pad. | <del>Get ready to see mangled [[Turtleguy|turtlemen]] hiding in the bushes. In your spare time not getting shot the fuck up or camping in a bush because you're a [[Gay|faggot]], [[you|you'll]] be camping your balls off on a roflcopter pad.</del> Get ready to do absolutely fucking nothing for hours on end while DICE and EA party on there new golden yachts snorting pounds of coke while telling you they are busy fixing the servers for you <del>dedicated fans</del> idiots who made them rich by buying there incomplete, glitched game. Half of which is a buggy, uninspired, thrown together cobble of shit while the other you can't play because they decided to not learn from the beta how to run there servers corectally. | ||
===Maps=== | ===Maps=== | ||
*Operation Metro - Crawl through bushes and [[WIN|remains of Pwned Paris]]. Most hated map in the game. | *Operation Metro - Crawl through bushes and [[WIN|remains of Pwned Paris]]. Most hated map in the game. | ||
*[[This is Sparta|Damavand Peak]] - Drop upon unsuspecting Russians from a 500m high cliff with rocket launchers. | *[[This is Sparta|Damavand Peak]] - Drop upon unsuspecting Russians from a 500m high cliff with rocket launchers. | ||
*C[[Asperger's Syndrome|aspian]] Border - Jet camping. | *C[[Asperger's Syndrome|aspian]] Border - Jet camping. | ||
*[[George Bush|Operation Firestorm]] - Russians trying to prevent americunts from stealing precious [[sand nigger]] [[Jew Gold|oil]]. | *[[George Bush|Operation Firestorm]] - Russians trying to prevent americunts from stealing precious [[sand nigger]] [[Jew Gold|oil]]. Also its fucking HUGE, [[Shit nobody cares about|it is said that you can fit 3 of the largest map from Battlefield Bad Company 2 inside of it]] and still have room for more hot oversised map on map action. | ||
| Line 17: | Line 16: | ||
===Beta=== | ===Beta=== | ||
The Battlefield 3 beta, which was released only a few weeks before the game was due to be put on disc, had so many bugs and glitches that DICE actually considered extending the beta for another ten years. If you were lucky enough not to fall through the uninspired map on Metro, you might have been given the opportunity to get instakilled by some <s>10 year old hiding behind a tree</s>. [[lie|There are no kids on the battlefield]]. [[Retard|They find it way too hard to handle recoil and keep changing cover]]. There are however thousands of 15 and 16 year old [[virgins]] which most likely have | The Battlefield 3 beta, which was released only a few weeks before the game was due to be put on disc, had so many bugs and glitches that DICE actually considered extending the beta for another ten years. If you were lucky enough not to fall through the uninspired map on Metro, you might have been given the opportunity to get instakilled by some <s>10 year old hiding behind a tree</s>. [[lie|There are no kids on the battlefield]]. [[Retard|They find it way too hard to handle recoil and keep changing cover]]. There are however thousands of 15 and 16 year old [[virgins]] which most likely have transferred from [[Shit|Call of Duty]]. However, If you happen to run into a child, kill yourself immediately. [[An Hero|IRL]]. | ||
[[Everyone|Many]] bashed beta for it being a buggy piece of shit. Which it is. It still surpasses [[Modern Warfare 3]] [[over 9000|a few thousand times]]. | [[Everyone|Many]] bashed beta for it being a buggy piece of shit. Which it is. It still surpasses [[Modern Warfare 3]] [[over 9000|a few thousand times]]. | ||
| Line 23: | Line 22: | ||
==Campaign== | ==Campaign== | ||
[[Truth|Nobody gives a shit about the campaign mode in Battlefield games]]. | You'd be forgiven to think a 6 year development time would be long enough to make a halfway decent storyline but instead they decided to create yet another [[Call of Duty 4]] clone involving the "terrorist stealing WMD's" overused storyline. But wait [[Call of Duty: Black Ops|the main character is being interrogated thought the entire game and is reliving the memories through gameplay.]] They also added [[Call of Duty: Modern Warefare 2|Russians into the mix.]] Talk about creativity! I think they really have a shot at bringing down Modern Warfare 3 with this tribute...I mean...um..."competitor" to Call of Duty. | ||
[[Truth|Nobody gives a shit about the campaign mode in Battlefield games]]. | |||
This on is a buggy mess so don't even bother with it. | |||
==Fanboys== | ==Fanboys== | ||
| Line 36: | Line 37: | ||
4. [[PROFIT!]] | 4. [[PROFIT!]] | ||
===Frostbite 2=== | ===Frostbite 2=== | ||
Revision as of 23:48, 25 October 2011
Battlefield 3 (AKA "Bad Company: 3", "Be Advised: 3", "Battletoads: 3", "Call of Duty: Modern Warfield 3", or "Niggers in the Field: 3") is a First Person Shooter game that encourages its players to forage through bushes and spawn rape the other team. The game, which has slowly turned itself into a cheap knockoff of Call of Duty; boasts controllable tanks, jets and other annoying vehicles that the developers behind other FPS franchises intentionally omitted from their games. When arguing with a pasty-faced Battlefag, be prepared to listen to long-winded rants about Battlefield 3 having superb graphics (lol, only if you have a high-end PC) and large maps. Since the game was announced, preachy Battlefield fanboys have been waging an online jihad against Modern Warfare 3; all because they can't bear the thought of seeing another first person shooter outsell their precious game. In fact; for the past year or so, Battlefield fans have talked more about Call of Duty than Battlefield itself, which just goes to show how Battlefield fanboys have become the Jehova Witnesses of FPS gaming.
Multiplayer
Be advised. Be advised. Be advised. Be advised. Be advised. Be advised. Be advised. I will be hiding in that bush over there.
As in Bad Company 2, you will get raped by reconfags, assaultfags and engineerfags (only seen with rocket launchers). Playing support is slightly less homosexual.
Get ready to see mangled turtlemen hiding in the bushes. In your spare time not getting shot the fuck up or camping in a bush because you're a faggot, you'll be camping your balls off on a roflcopter pad. Get ready to do absolutely fucking nothing for hours on end while DICE and EA party on there new golden yachts snorting pounds of coke while telling you they are busy fixing the servers for you dedicated fans idiots who made them rich by buying there incomplete, glitched game. Half of which is a buggy, uninspired, thrown together cobble of shit while the other you can't play because they decided to not learn from the beta how to run there servers corectally.
Maps
- Operation Metro - Crawl through bushes and remains of Pwned Paris. Most hated map in the game.
- Damavand Peak - Drop upon unsuspecting Russians from a 500m high cliff with rocket launchers.
- Caspian Border - Jet camping.
- Operation Firestorm - Russians trying to prevent americunts from stealing precious sand nigger oil. Also its fucking HUGE, it is said that you can fit 3 of the largest map from Battlefield Bad Company 2 inside of it and still have room for more hot oversised map on map action.
Beta
The Battlefield 3 beta, which was released only a few weeks before the game was due to be put on disc, had so many bugs and glitches that DICE actually considered extending the beta for another ten years. If you were lucky enough not to fall through the uninspired map on Metro, you might have been given the opportunity to get instakilled by some 10 year old hiding behind a tree. There are no kids on the battlefield. They find it way too hard to handle recoil and keep changing cover. There are however thousands of 15 and 16 year old virgins which most likely have transferred from Call of Duty. However, If you happen to run into a child, kill yourself immediately. IRL.
Many bashed beta for it being a buggy piece of shit. Which it is. It still surpasses Modern Warfare 3 a few thousand times.
IN CONCLUSION: Infested by Call of Duty faggots campfest with noone playing the objective and battlefield fans staring in disbelief at it. 90% of the team being assault players who never drop medkits, never revive and if they do you die a second later. Does it sound familiar to you?. Hey, atleast it doesn't ruin your KDR anymore.
Campaign
You'd be forgiven to think a 6 year development time would be long enough to make a halfway decent storyline but instead they decided to create yet another Call of Duty 4 clone involving the "terrorist stealing WMD's" overused storyline. But wait the main character is being interrogated thought the entire game and is reliving the memories through gameplay. They also added Russians into the mix. Talk about creativity! I think they really have a shot at bringing down Modern Warfare 3 with this tribute...I mean...um..."competitor" to Call of Duty. Nobody gives a shit about the campaign mode in Battlefield games. This on is a buggy mess so don't even bother with it.
Fanboys
Whether it's bitching about Call of Duty or calling you a nub. The battlefield Community is a caring, welcoming community and welcomes people from all around(XTRA POINTS IF YUR FROM COD!!!11!!!!ONE!!). All Battlefield fans know EVERYTHING about the military. They are virgins that live in their mom's basement and have to wait till' Christmas to get their games.
Trolling a Battlefield fan
1. Tell them about their dad dieing in Iraq by an IED
2. Lulz begin
3. ????
4. PROFIT!
Frostbite 2
If you've trolled, argued, fucked, or sucked a Battlefield fan you've heard EVERYTHING about this engine.
See Also
|
Battlefield 3 is part of a series on Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage. |