MSPaint Adventures: Difference between revisions
imported>CurryBrace →Problem Sleuth: ED is not a forum |
imported>FlashbackPractice |
||
| Line 84: | Line 84: | ||
== Characters == | == Characters == | ||
*'''John''' [[ | *'''John''' [[lie|Not a homosexual]] who likes gushers and has a fetish for old women, notably ones that lead to incest. Has no interesting personality whatsoever. | ||
*'''Dave''' A [[Weeaboo|wannabee animu]] His brother has a thing for puppets, which leads to his eventual rape. | *'''Dave''' A [[Weeaboo|wannabee animu]] His brother has a thing for puppets, which leads to his eventual rape. Dave thinks he's hot shit because he likes to DJ and has his own [[Sweet bro and Hella Jeff|'webcomic']]. Apparently his thing is [[Irony'irony']]. | ||
*'''Rose''' An [[emo|emo]] know-it-all bitch who | *'''Rose''' An [[emo|emo]] know-it-all bitch who's smarmy and punchable. As recently upgraded from emo bitch to emo witch, considering she'd happily watch a furry unleash [[genocide|genocide]] on a planet while [[Fap|masturbating]] to the screams of the [[Cthulhu|eldergods]]. | ||
*'''Jade''' Furry cosplayer, precognitive, and boring as hell. No one cares about this [[Whore|bitch]], moving on. | *'''Jade''' Furry cosplayer, precognitive, and boring as hell. No one cares about this [[Whore|bitch]], moving on. | ||
*'''The Guardians''' Two neglectful parents to busy fucking each other to watch their kids, a furry with powers, and an [[Weeaboo|animu nerd]]. | *'''The Guardians''' Two neglectful parents to busy fucking each other to watch their kids, a furry with powers, and an [[Weeaboo|animu nerd]]. | ||
*'''Jack''' Some asswipe in a legal department that fucked a queen with a toy, took her jewelery, and went on to kill a bunch of shit that nobody cares about. | *'''Jack''' Some asswipe in a legal department that fucked a queen with a toy, took her jewelery, and went on to kill a bunch of shit that nobody cares about. He gets mashed together with everything ever and eventually becomes a furry with [[tentacle Rape|tentacles]]. | ||
*'''[[poser|The "Trolls"]]''' The only reason why [[You|people]] actually read this horrid comic, mainly because [[bisexual|they are all bisexual]] and have [[Animu archetypes|animu archetype]] personalities, making 13-15 year old girls form | *'''[[poser|The "Trolls"]]''' The only reason why [[You|people]] actually read this horrid comic, mainly because [[bisexual|they are all bisexual]] and have [[Animu archetypes|animu archetype]] personalities, making 13-15 year old girls form pedophiliac thoughts. They all fucking suck at trolling, and have [[Asperger's|asinine typing "quirks"]]. For the sake of laughs we're going to list them as individual characters. | ||
*'''AH''' For more confirmation of the author not having a life, he decided to add himself as a character | Aradia- She was dead. Then a r0b0t. [[Almost died|Then she died again.]] Then she was alive s0meh0w. | ||
Tavros- [[cRIPPLE]]. | |||
Sollux- Double everythiing. iincluding diick2. | |||
Karkat- [[Short man syndrome|SMALL MAN, BIG FONT]]. | |||
Nepeta- :33> [[furry|*is a cat*]] | |||
Kanaya- [[Daddy's money lesbian|Lipstick Lesbian]]. [[Twitard|Also Apparently A Vampire Now.]] | |||
Terezi- (this shall be left blank as she's blind and can't read) | |||
Vriska- [[Cunt]]. | |||
Equius- D--> [[bestiality|Likes horses.]] | |||
Gamzee- [[JuGgAlO]] ;o) | |||
Eridan- [[you|forevver alone]] | |||
Feferi- [[PETA]] activist | |||
*'''AH''' For more confirmation of the author not having a life, he decided to [[Self-insert|add himself as a character]]. | |||
== "Shipping" == | == "Shipping" == | ||
Revision as of 23:35, 5 January 2012
Microsoft Paint Adventures is some interactive flash comic or some bullshit thing like that, disguised as the atrocity that is the webcomic medium. Which as we all know, is the most fucking terrible kind of medium. It involves various stories involving furries, bullshit plots, underage kids in sexual relations, and some of the most horrible crap you will ever read. It's stories are suggested and made by the fanbase, who happen to be homosexuals who are clearly sexually deprived when you consider how far they attempt to push their shitty self-insert fantasies in the format of "shipping". And yet this still manages to be some of the best "webcomics" on the intarwebz.
The author, Andrew Hussie, is a aspie jew who lives off of donations and the shitty products that he sells, such as hideous designs for T-shirts, MIDI music, and other convoluted methods of cocksuckery.
What is this, I don't even?
Bard Quest and Jailbreak
In these two pieces of shit nobody cares about, an unnamed man attempts to escape from a prison cell. Neither of these stories were finished, and reflect Hussie's lazy ass work ethic. But if they were finished, they would reveal Hussie's collection of sick shit. The only reason he couldn't continue his smut further was because he realized he couldn't get more jew gold without sucking the fans pork-lances any harder.
Thankfully, thanks to the efforts of Tim Buckley, "Choose Your Own Adventure" comics were made much, much worse. Not that he is original or anything.
Problem Sleuth
Problem Sleuth is the story of some detective dude and his two jerk-off buddies, Lord Douche and Captain Caveman. It starts with them in their room jacking off to the scenery( bullshit backgrounds Hussie attempts to draw). Eventually they get out and other stupid shit happens. They go to a bunch of places that aren't notable to be mentioned and solve puzzles too obscure for your Webster dictionary to comprehend. Eventually they fight the Demon Orgy CockDick, because he's all up in their shit and waving his junk up in there. They get pissed, shit happens, and it all ends in shit nobody understands or cares for.
Overall, an incoherent storyline, unreadable art, and nothing you should ever even attempt read, lest you waste your time looking at horse dick.
HomeFuck
The latest abomination to be flung into the world by Hussie. The plot is a fucking disaster, so we can barely describe what this abortion is all about. Homosuck has literally became the Naruto of webcomics, shitting out one of the most deranged, god-awful fandoms since My Little Pony's. These people have literally made it their religon, saying "oh gog" instead of "oh god", wanting to dump cum in a bucket, posting pictures of themselves "cosplaying" as characters in thigh highs (stay classy, Tumblr), buying shirts and rehashed fingernails-to-chalkboard music, and other horrid things of which if we went further you would have already been vomiting on your computer screen right now.
Arguably the only good parts to this comic are the animations in which the characters aren't rendered as 'sprites.' Ironically, though the fans render Hussie as a God for his art, he doesn't even draw the actual art in the animations. Instead he gathers fanartists from DeviantART to do his work for him.
When does this get good?
It is a fact that most people cannot sit through the first act, let alone the first few pages. The first Google suggestion that pops up when the word Homestuck is typed in, is: When Does Homestuck Get Good? The answer, of course, is that it fucking doesn't, and in fact only gets worse.
Why can't we sit through this? What is so MindBoggling good about Homestuck that we must divert our eyes? Studies have shown that only the most intelligent beings on planet Earth have the ability to understand what the fuck is going on. Perhaps it is the fact that Homestuck is about as sexy as Angelina Jolie with a dick for a nose, and that they get hard shortly after viewing such luscious beauty.
Act 1
You start reading a first person RP adventure type story. The reader then wades through hundreds of pages of shit nobody cares about with John, Rose, and Dave. Then later stuff happens and then OMG somehow a meteor comes and now the world's gonna asplode and stuff. However no one seems to care because they're still playing with cards.
Act 2
Consists solely of 4 kids talking about shit nobody cares about. It's a running theme.
Act 3
Same as above. Oh yeah, Dave or some shit starts feeling sexually confused by a bunch of puppets with large asses. But it's ok, because they rape him. Anal rape is a customary practice for his household.
Act 4
Pretty boring, of course, but some more shit happens. John enters the Medium. He enters it and proceeds to have gay sex with all of these monsters. Later he randomly dies, BUT DON'T WORRY, THAT WAS JUST AN ALTERNATE TIMELINE. Because Dave has now somehow obtained time travel is beyond the scope of our feeble minds, so says Master Hussie. Also, the fourth main character is finally introduced, after over two thousand pages of pointless shit.
Later it's revealed that John is a fuck-clone of himself and his friends made with his genetic semen or some shit. But considering incest is pretty legal in MSPA, no need to elaborate on this.
Act 5
The act where everyone skips forward to because this is where the real shipping material is at. Apparently divided into two sub acts to hold all the greatness together, the first half has trolls, and the second half has trolls and kids fucking together to fight the bad guy. Trolls are the main draw to Homestuck, as there are 12 of them and they are naturally bisexual. That leads fans to ship everyone and everything together, with the added key being buckets. Much dick sucking and cunt licking ensues.
Act 6
Hussie decides to "troll" the fans by deleting fucking everything and resetting the whole entire comic, leading up to replacing the four kids with genderbent mirrors.
How to become part of the fandom
1. Go to [1]
2. Skip to Act 5.
3. ????
4. Become an hero
GAIAONLINE STEALS R STUFFZ!!1!!
Also, anybody who uses Gaiaonline will know about the stupid ordeal going on lately. Basically, Gaia made a few knockoff Homestuck items and the fans went in to full butthurt rage mode. The ringleader? His whiteknight girlfriend. [2] There's her OWN special little Gaiaonline account, where she can be seen wearing a "Walking Dead" tshirt, meaning she OBVIOUSLY has nothing against marketing and advertising on Gaia, that is, until her precious Hussie is involved. Then, shit hits the fan, and you have every lonely, bored neckbeard of a Homestuck fan railing so far up your ass you can taste it.
Characters
- John Not a homosexual who likes gushers and has a fetish for old women, notably ones that lead to incest. Has no interesting personality whatsoever.
- Dave A wannabee animu His brother has a thing for puppets, which leads to his eventual rape. Dave thinks he's hot shit because he likes to DJ and has his own 'webcomic'. Apparently his thing is Irony'irony'.
- Rose An emo know-it-all bitch who's smarmy and punchable. As recently upgraded from emo bitch to emo witch, considering she'd happily watch a furry unleash genocide on a planet while masturbating to the screams of the eldergods.
- Jade Furry cosplayer, precognitive, and boring as hell. No one cares about this bitch, moving on.
- The Guardians Two neglectful parents to busy fucking each other to watch their kids, a furry with powers, and an animu nerd.
- Jack Some asswipe in a legal department that fucked a queen with a toy, took her jewelery, and went on to kill a bunch of shit that nobody cares about. He gets mashed together with everything ever and eventually becomes a furry with tentacles.
- The "Trolls" The only reason why people actually read this horrid comic, mainly because they are all bisexual and have animu archetype personalities, making 13-15 year old girls form pedophiliac thoughts. They all fucking suck at trolling, and have asinine typing "quirks". For the sake of laughs we're going to list them as individual characters.
Aradia- She was dead. Then a r0b0t. Then she died again. Then she was alive s0meh0w. Tavros- cRIPPLE. Sollux- Double everythiing. iincluding diick2. Karkat- SMALL MAN, BIG FONT. Nepeta- :33> *is a cat* Kanaya- Lipstick Lesbian. Also Apparently A Vampire Now. Terezi- (this shall be left blank as she's blind and can't read) Vriska- Cunt. Equius- D--> Likes horses. Gamzee- JuGgAlO ;o) Eridan- forevver alone Feferi- PETA activist
- AH For more confirmation of the author not having a life, he decided to add himself as a character.
"Shipping"
This is the only reason anyone is in the fandom. Hussie has admitted this himself. He's even invented 4 other types of sex practices to accommodate for shipping. They are as follows:
- Kismesis (♠): Where you find your worst enemy, shake hands, then proceeds to butt-fuck them with a spade-shaped dildo.
- Moirail (♦): You become hippie soulmates with someone and try not to suck their dick.
- Matesprit (♥): You jizz in a bucket, then proceed to mix it with other people, and then you give it to some whore to impregnate.
- Auspistice(♣): A three way where you get a fuck buddy and then have a third ugly autistic chick come and start up a three-way, with the third checking on your progress to make sure you all come at the same time.
-
Hussie Approves -
Bro be hardcore.
-
This a rough approximation of Homosuck's character development -
Also, bestiality.
-
Also, cripple porn. -
Lolz, shes blind people
External Links
- The terribly formatted homepage
- Pirates be warned, trolls be here
- Another shitty wiki full of in-jokes and convoluted exposition
