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Dog: Difference between revisions

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[[image:Dramatic Stare Dog.gif|180px|right]]
[[image:Dramatic Stare Dog.gif|180px|right]]
How many of you love '''Dogs'''?  Your [[bestiality|best friend]], [[buy a dog|your protector]], etc.  [[GodJesus]] said in Mathew 7:15-16 to beware of a wolves in sheeps' clothing, do you know what he referred to?  That's right, dogs!  Dogs are wolves that were selectively bred since 100,000 BC by Satan ([[creationism|since people didn't exist till 6000BC]]) and then bred by humans since 6000BC to appear like little sheep.  But inwardly dogs are ravenous wolves. Dogs love to:
'''Dogs''' are vicious, pack-hunting, [[Coprophagia|crap-eating]], quadrupeds whose most distinguishing characteristics are their natural rotting garbage body odor and ability to bark at 150 decibels like a broken record 24/7 nonstop. Like wolves, they derive from the ''Canis'' genus but, unlike wolves, are illegal to poison, pet-dress, or have sex with. Despite being able to eat [[cats]], young children, and pretty much anything smaller than them, dogs are considered the [[retards]] of the animal world, which is why they're often referred to as "man's best friend" (second only to [[television]] of course, but just as smart).
* Scare [[you|people]]
* Attack [[you|people]]
* Smell like rotting [[crap|garbage]]
* Eat young children
* [[vore|Eat whatever is smaller than it]]
* Bark at 150 decibels like a broken record 24/7 nonstop
* [[Coprophagia|Eat feces]]
* Eat their own vomit
And all the while because of their sheep disguise it's illegal to shoot them, poison them, do pet dressing, or even have sex with them.__NOTOC__


==Working With Dogs==
==Working With Dogs==
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==Videos==
==Videos==
<center><youtube>Hb92wQpPG-s</youtube></center>
<center>{{fv|34videos|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>6US4d2OqtEM</youtube>
|<youtube>Hb92wQpPG-s</youtube>
}}</center>


==See Also==
==See Also==
*[[Buy A Dog]]
*[[Buy A Dog]]
*[[Buzzkilling|Those Are My Shoes]]
*[[Buzzkilling|Those Are My Shoes]]
<big>Examples of Dog Abuse:</big><br />
<big>Examples of Dog Abuse:</big><br>
*[[Bestiality]]
*[[Bestiality]]
*[[Dalavesta]]
*[[Dalavesta]]

Revision as of 21:56, 18 October 2012

Dogs are vicious, pack-hunting, crap-eating, quadrupeds whose most distinguishing characteristics are their natural rotting garbage body odor and ability to bark at 150 decibels like a broken record 24/7 nonstop. Like wolves, they derive from the Canis genus but, unlike wolves, are illegal to poison, pet-dress, or have sex with. Despite being able to eat cats, young children, and pretty much anything smaller than them, dogs are considered the retards of the animal world, which is why they're often referred to as "man's best friend" (second only to television of course, but just as smart).

Working With Dogs

Ask your groomer for the panda clip

You can make some dough off this much beloved family pet.

  • Veterinarian: A wonderful profession where you will have the chance to stick thermometers up dog's asses and be exposed to multiple diseases that can be passed from animals to humans. On the plus side, you get to charge a buttload of money by prescribing drugs meant for humans at twice the price to fucktard owners as well as be legally allowed to put dogs down.
  • Groomer: A great alternative if you're too stupid to pass Med school for animals. You'll have a fun-filled day of being slashed bloody by newly cut nails, cleaning around Fido's ass and listening to the yapping of small purse dogs owned by prominent female celebrities. You won't get paid fuck all, but the fun part is making dogs looking even more fucking retarded than they already are.
  • Trainer: Make shitloads of cash on people too fucking lazy to teach their own pet basic commands.
  • Police: Train big fucking dogs to maul criminals.
  • Breeder: Dogs need human help doing such natural things as fucking. Make Profit from purebreds and make even moar by mating two different types of dogs together to create a fun new hybrid with the worst traits of both parents. Because we all know there's not enough of these bastards on the streets.

Famous Dogs

Cartoon dogs
Rooby Rooby Roo!
  • Cujo: What most dogs aspire to be
  • Goofy: Retarded Disney character and advocate of child abuse
  • 'Snoopy: Has herpes of the mouth, which sucks because he likes to lick little girls
  • Brian: Snoopy copypaste
  • Balto: Sled dog who proved dogs can do fucking anything, also a favorite movie of furries and wolfaboos
  • Scooby-Doo: A retarded talking cartoon dog
  • Lassie: Collie dog from from an old TV show
  • Toto: Dorothy's companion in The Wizard of Oz
  • Ren: Psychotic rat-dog
*BARK* motherfucker About missing Pics
  • Never has a fiercer battle been witnessed
    Never has a fiercer battle been witnessed
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

Videos

Previous Video | Next Video

See Also

Examples of Dog Abuse:

Dog
is part of a series on
Bad things that happen to animals
Basic Concepts [-+]

Animal Abuse • Bestiality • Furry • Hunting • Taxidermy

Meet the Menagerie:

Badgers • Bats • Bears • Bees • Birds • Bunnies • California Pet Laws 1/1/19 • Cats • Chickens • Chihuahuas • Cows • Crabs • Crows • Dinosaurs • Dogs • Ducks • Eagles • Fish • Foxes • Frogs • Giant Isopods • Octopuses • Pandas • Parakeets • Parrots • Penguins • Pigs • Rats • Sharks • Sheep • Snakes • Spiders • Turtles • Walruse • Wolves

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