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{{天|'''This article has been heavily modified at the request of our sponsors at [[Tencent]]. Heaven bless you for your benevolence kind sirs!'''|social credit score positive.png|150px|lightgreen|600px}}<br>
{{Lolcow2}}
[[File:ED-China-Flag.png|500px|center|link=]]
{{achtung|'''Maddox lost lololololololololololololololololololololololololol!'''}}
<center><span style="font-size:12pt;font-weight:bold">China's National Flag</span></center>
{{spoilers|THE RETARD FUCKING LOST HIS LOLSUIT WITH [[Dick Masterson]] PRESS S TO SPIT!!!}}
[[Image:Maddox irl.jpg|thumb|right|auto|Maddox, indoctrinating his [[neckbeard]] fanbase into becoming [[Cuckoldry|cucks]].]]
[[File:Nobodylovesmaddox.jpg|thumb|Maddox's trip to Thailand really inspired him to [[tranny|transition]]]]
[[Image:Maddox-links.png|thumb|Maddox is a true connoisseur of [[CTRL_ALT_Delete|humor]].]]
 
{{quote|No girl thinks I'm cute. I'm repulsive. I'm hideous.|The only truthful thing he has ever said.}}
<b>[[powerword|George Ouzounian]]</b>, known by his pen name '''Maddox''', is a pioneer of [[troll]]ing, [[flame|flaming]], and [[unwarranted self importance]] on the Internet. At least he was this person <s>four</s> <s>eight</s> '''''20''''' years ago, and when his stupid evil asshole personality was still believed to have been an 'in-character gag'. However, like most internet-famous 'comedians' it turned out his act wasn't an act at all, and he genuinely was being [[retarded]] for attention. Despite his shtick being so yesterday, his influence on early lulz is nothing short of notable. [[Noobs]] should read his earlier articles to learn how to properly flame, but nothing post-2005. That’s when he started to [[The Internet is serious business|get serious]] and his writing really went to shit.
 
Most non-[[retards]] will notice that much of Maddox's content is incredibly [[unfunny]], pointing out [[obvious]] [[shit nobody cares about|things]] that [[internets]] users already know. He's also a [[faggot|pirate]], something he makes very clear... to the point that he'll try to deceive you into thinking he's a '''''straight''''' pirate by shoving his dick in your face, fooling no one. His inability to come across as a [[badass]] is best demonstrated by simply looking at him - he's nothing more than a [[neckbeard|neckbearded]], basement dwelling, [[angry|rage-filled]], sexually repressed [[NEET]]. So, why hasn't this dumbass made a fucking [[fursona]] yet? And that's when you realise something: there's virtually nothing separating him from that [[furfag]] [[2 gryphon|2 The Ranting Gryphon]] in terms of comedy writing.
 
Maddox is also an author, with one disavowed New York Times Best Seller [[Shit_Nobody_Cares_About|and two more novels that nobody cares about]]. He has also enjoyed a second wind of success with a comedy podcast, ''The Biggest Problem In The Universe'', with former business partner [[Dick Masterson]]. This fell apart after 107 episodes, when Maddox became an [[SJW]] and threw an autistic tantrum over Dick fucking his ex-girlfriend from over three years ago (all while he was dating someone else already). The actions taken by Maddox after May 31st, 2016 made him go from innovator, to unfunny, to bonafide [[lol-cow]] right up there with Hall of Famers like [[DarksydePhil]] and [[Tom Preston]].
 
<center>''Welcome to the Maddox article, faggots!<br>just like Maddox's life, it will never get any better!''</center>
<br>
<br>
[[File:Mao Lel.jpg|thumb|Top Lel]]
[[Image:Chinese_Roller_Coaster.jpg|thumb|left|Riding a roller coaster into a [[AIDS|baby formula]] processing facility.]]
[[Image:Crazyasianlady.jpg|thumb|Chinese women are known for their unique beauty and intelligence.]]
[[File:Chinesewomanatwork.gif|thumb|This is what Chinese women can do best.]]
[[Image:ZhWikipediaLiuxinyu970226.png|thumb|Typical Wikipedia userpage of a PRC nationalist.]]
[[Image:China map.jpg|thumb|The map of China. See the non-white space? THAT'S China!!!]]


== TL;DR ==
[[Image:Preasetoshowpapers.jpg|thumb|YOU NO HAVE RIGHTS HERE WHITE DEVIR (and neither do we, tee hee!)]]
[[Image:Spreadem.jpg|thumb|[[Over 9,000]] years of Chinese wisdom has much to teach us.]]
[[Image:Evony.jpg|thumb|Chinese contribution to the Internets...note that there are no boobs in the [http://www.crunchgear.com/2009/07/24/evony-ad-campaign-where-breasts-trick-you-into-playing-a-civ-clone/ ''actual''] game. The developer is a Chinese-American and this is supposed to be a scam-knock off of Civilization, a game very popular among basement dwellers. AZNs love these games because many of them happen to be the luckless gold farmers.]]
[[Image:HamsterDance.jpg|thumb|The [[old meme|only English website allowed in China]].]]


[[TL;DR|Maddox's long list of failure and faggotry will take forever to read through, since it's been growing exponentially for years]]. Luckily, some EDiot made a video highlighting the most important stuff. Now you don't have to dig through years of Maddox's shitty life. You're welcome.
'''The People's Republic of China''', known to many of its inhabitants as the [[hubris|center of the world]] [[shit nobody cares about|(in Chinese, China is 中国 [zhongguo] which literally means "center country")]],or [[Mordor|Middle Kingdom]] (or the Asian version of [[US]] for the rest of the world) is a giant industrial park in [[Asia]]. China has so many people that they once instituted a [[Dead babies|One-child policy]], although this policy has since been rescinded to allow two or three children per family. One of [[America|America's]] [[Walmart|largest trading partners]], China has been known to export [[lies|a wide arrangement of high quality products]], which many imperialist detractors will tell you are [[lulz|defective and dangerous]]. This is in no way related to a religious adherence to the uber-cheap and low manufacturing standards that western dogs love, [[lies|the quality of Chinese products speak for themselves and are well worth the investment]].


<center>{{frame|<youtube>nP1gkCTvR4Y</youtube>
China is a world innovator in surveillance; you've probably heard of the amazing "social credit" system by now, right anon? It is a single government-sponsored credit rating system that tracks and evaluates the trustworthiness of individuals, businesses, and government entities in aggregate. [[TL;DR]] - the big brothers check to see if you're behaving. If you don't visit your grandparents often enough, that's a paddarin. If you say something bad about our government, that's a paddarin. And if you ''dare'' stand on the same side of a fence as an imperialist '''OH YOU BERRER BERIEVE THAT'S A PADDARRIN!'''
<center><b>1+ hour long TL;DR of 40% of the Maddox/Dick Masterson drama</b></center>|border=black|background=#ff8000}}</center>


==How George became Maddox==
It is also very important to note that the [[moonspeak|Engrish]] manuals that Chinese products come with are, for the most part, examples of the greatest heights of Engrish grammar and prose. They're so great, in fact, most people would feel their head aching on reading the first few lines, while others feel a sudden urge to hurt someone. Also, [[some argue]] that the Chinese are [[Lolwut|inscrutable]]. [[Eurofags|Others]] would say [[Americunts]] are just too unintelligent to read.
===Early life===
[[Image:maddox_trying_to_recoup_his_losses.jpg|thumb|left|auto|Maddox selling oranges in the war-torn slums of Armenia]]
[[File:Maddoxwithgirl.jpg|thumb|right|300px|[[Tom Green]]-era Maddox with some bitch. This was back when he had hair.]]
Maddox grew up in poverty, raised in mud huts of [[Armenia]]. It was during these years Maddox became the [[nu-male|manly man]] he is today. It didn't matter [[Daddy issues|his father was a ballsy jackass he never knew]]. It didn't matter that his mother hates him (and still does to this day). George transformed, but [[Tranny|not in the way you'd expect]]. He found his love for [[homosexuality|manliness]], [[cock|beef jerky]], [[semen|vinegar]], and [[bear|lumberjacks]]. Moreover, he realized his hatred for everything else. [[Emos]], [[McDonald's]], [[Apple|iPhones]], Cameron Diaz, the works. [[buttsecks|He had a big stick up his ass, and he wants you to know it]]. Of course, hating things alone doesn't make you that manly. That's not important. His penis raged with [[unwarranted self-importance]]. At some point he dropped out of college like he dropped out of his mother's snatch, on the head. Please give him sympathy, he only failed his undergrad maths exam three times (lol).


==="Adult" life and creation of The Best Page in the Universe===
Westerners refer to the people of China in many ways, although doing so can seriously affect your score. Here's a guide to show you how much your credit score will lower if you decide to use ANY of the following terms to describe them:
[[File:Maddoxkindagay.jpg|right|220px|thumb|Maddox at his telemarketing job, massaging his jaw after sucking [[black dick|Tyrone's dick]].]]
Maddox had only one real job as of April 2018: [[telemarketing]], the easiest job to both get and manage. He spent his early to mid-twenties [http://www.dictionary.com/browse/keysmash?s=t keysmashing] and attempting to code whatever it is those guys code. Though his experience as a [[1337]] [[haxxor|h@xz0rz]] is one of Maddox's many bragging points, he's not as technologically sophisticated as he'd like you to believe. These days all he can do in terms of programming is enable no-clip on [[Team Fortress 2]]. His coding abilities stretch back to the late 90s when the Internet was new to everyone, yet he still boasts about how awesome of a coder he is today by programming an HTML document from scratch in Notepad when most people were using Dreamweaver. How fucking manly.


By 2004, Maddox quit his job, dropped out of college (even though he was one test away from getting a math degree), and stopped going to the gay bar in his homestate of [[mormon|Utah]]. Why? He wanted to be a comedy writer. Despite the fact that [[unfunny|he wasn't funny]], this must have seemed like a good idea at the time. And as a result, he devoted his full focus to a website he created in high school, entitled [[lie|'The Best Page in the Universe.']] The rest, as they say, was history.
<center>
{| class="wikitable" style="text-align:center; font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif !important;;"
|- style="text-align:left;"
! colspan="15" style="text-align:center; font-weight:bold;" | Use these words at your own discretion, you filthy, wide-eye, white devils
|-
| style="font-style:italic; text-align:left;" | Term
| Pre-Viral Liveform
| Oriental
| Chinaman/Chinawoman
| Chiggers
| Rice Niggers
| Chink
| Chiamese
| Chine
| Chino
| Ching Chong
| Taiwanese
| Gooks
| Aisan Jews
| Jackie Chan
|-
| style="font-style:italic; text-align:left;" | Social credits
| 0
| -10
| -10
| -20
| -20
| -30
| -20
| -30
| -10
| -30
| -100
| -100
| -10000
| -9999999
|}
</center>


Because Maddox's [[autism|exceptionality]] made him prioritise petty shit, The Best Page in the Universe has no ads. If you ever bring it up, he'll talk all day bragging about how much money he wasted by implementing [[AdBlock]] on his own fucking website, because the user experience really matters that much to him. But he can't be much of a moralfag these days, Maddox is forced to [[shill]] for [[BeCandid|anybody and anything]] that will offer him a few bucks. He rarely receives payment from sponsors (for reasons discussed below), but he still refuses to place ads on his gay website. Imagine feeling prideful for being [[poor]]. [[le sigh|Good fucking grief]].
== [[TL;DR]] ==
<center><youtube>OpLvioS8GbQ</youtube></center>


==The Best Formula For [[unfunny|Funny]] [[blog|Article]] Writing in the Universe™==
==Yellow soup==
# When thinking of topics, there's one rule of thumb: the more petty, the more funny. Write an article about  [http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=pepperoni how much you hate pizza toppings], or [http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=idaho_blows how you hate Idaho], or [http://maddox.xmission.com/c.cgi?u=lovin_it how you hate fast food ad campaigns]. The more pointless your topics are, the more funny your writing will be.
Ancient Chinese secret! Yellow soup is shit soup! [[Wikipedia:Fecal bacteriotherapy|China invent]]. Bery good. You food poison? You diarrhea so bad? Eat shit [[Brb, soup|soup]]! Eat my [[shit]]! China know for 4th century! Steel after twelve hunderd year [[Fact|Li Shizhen use shit soup treat bad abdomen]]! True story! Make stomach strong! Chinese medicine work! No listen Western medicine! So stupid! Bad for you! Antibiotic make superbug! Western medicine make superbug bad for you! Shit soup is answer! Shit soup is golden syrup!
# Type a billion paragraphs about this topic. No normal person would write [http://maddox.xmission.com/c.cgi?u=garfield_sucks this much about Garfield], right? That's the funny part! It's so petty that it’s funny! But in the 1% chance what you're writing isn't funny, add a [[over 9000|shit ton]] of insults and swear words (shitheads, dipshits, fucking idiots, etc.), and target them at the topic. Fuck shitty ass dip dip idiot fucker! You need to sound like you're better than what you’re writing about, so add terms for male and female genitalia. [[gay|Saying “penis” once per sentence]] makes you sound mature.
# Draw some pictures with [[MS Paint]] ([http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=faq no, seriously]) that further illustrate the points in your hilarious rant people are totally still reading.
# Put in some sentences [[Unwarranted Self-Importance|reaffirming how right you are and how badass you are for being right]]. Everything you’re writing is God’s gift to the [[sheeple|herd of sheep that's humanity]]. That's right! You're basically [[Moses]] for [http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=iphone ranting about cell phones]!
# If you really want to put some extra effort in, definitely make a .gif animation! Things that move on a page composed mostly of text makes it funny and interesting! [[At_least_100_Years_Ago|(twenty years ago)]]
# Add a view counter at the bottom of each page. [[nobody|People]] still care about how many views a website gets, trust me.
# [[???]]
# [[PROFIT!]]
# To continue the overflow of [[jew gold|traffic nickels]], make sure to set up your apartment like a pigsty. It'll boost up productivity, especially for an awesome genius like you! Look below for an example, provided by (no joke) the real Maddox!


{|style="margin: auto;"
'''Recipe for shit soup''': I shit bowl, just add water. You drink! Drink up! Is cure for you! Fresh soup bery hot. No bowl? I shit in mouth! No die diarrhea. No die dysentery. Shit soup good for all things! Drink my shit! Cure autoimmune disease! Cure fatness! Cure diabetes! Cure MS! Cure Parkinsons! China know cure for century! You have cholera? You have typhoid fever? You have plague? Eat shit or die! Animal shit good also. Camel shit work also. [[Nazi]] soldier in [[Africa]] know this! Why you think [[dog]] eat shit? Even dog know this! Dog know more than Western doctor!
|{{frame|{{Template:scrollpic|Messymaddoxhouse.jpg|400|300}}|border=black|background=#ff8000|margin=auto|thumb|STEP 8:}}
|}
<br>
One of Maddox's most enduring characteristics is his intense hostility against everyone, including and especially his own fans, because being an insufferable cunt to people actually interested in your work is the best way to further your career. You might be forgiven for thinking this is him acting in character a la [[AVGN]], but no. He flames, belittles and begrudges his own fanbase at every opportunity he gets, and that's ever more apparent since his exposure to social networking. This has understandably resulted in his appearances at cons or public events being met with overwhelming apathy, and that's if they still remember who this balding pasty [[basement-dweller]] even is. He will spend hours deleting comments on any site that will allow him to do this, and waste even more time blocking the people who leave them. Hell, back in the heyday of his website, he went as far as to [http://maddox.xmission.com/hatemail.cgi?p=1#REMOVED publish someone's email address for sending him hate mail from work, causing his fans to harass the guy en masse.]


So to summarize the story so far: you have the very incarnation of an [[internet tough guy]] riding on his fifteen minutes of fame, and he's bragging about how amazing he is while simultaneously antagonizing anybody who interacts with him, whether positively or negatively.
Warning! Not all shit good for eat. No shit from sick person. Bad shit. Bad shit make sick, good shit make well. So simple! Need good shit. Shit healthy person. [[Truth|FDA agree]]! [[Fact|Human shit experimental drug since 2013]]! Donate at shit bank! China know for century. My shit good. You eat! You drink! Drink my shit! Good for you! China #1 exporter good shit! My shit medicine for you! No like shit soup? I shit, I freeze dry, put in pill, you eat! Shit pill cure you! Shit pirr cure famiry! I prescribe shit pill for you! Eat my shit dayree! Home remedy prepare for sickness: healthy person shit, store in freezer. Illness? Eat own good shit. No lie! No freezer no problem. Warm fresh shit often best medicine! China cure epidemic! Try many shit over many year. Have [[Ebola]]? Eat shit person survive Ebola. So easy. Many animal eat dung. Animal more wise than Western doctor! Panda elephant hippo koala all eat mother shit. China know shit. Shit soup best medicine. So wise Panda. Thank you Panda teach China.


Hopefully, he lives up to the lofty expectations of the kind of badass he portrays himself to be, because if he doesn't, he might look fucking ridiculous. <big>'''OH WAIT...'''</big>
==Chinese People==


==Maddox gets trolled by Penn Jillette==
[[File:Meanwhile... in china.jpg|thumb|Meanwhile, in China...]]
<!--[[File:Maddox.png|thumb|right|250px|Part elitist. Part fag. 100% [[manboy]].]]-->
[[image:domathfast.jpg|thumb|Another typical Chinese [[math]] plantation.]]
[[File:Penn stfu.gif|frameless|left]][[File:Penn stfu.gif|frameless|right]]
[[image:Kinkajou_Chinkajou.jpg|thumb|There IS a difference.]]
[[File:Penn stfu.gif|frameless|left]][[File:Penn stfu.gif|frameless|right]]
[[File:Chinese kid stomping on Japanese flag.jpg|thumb|left|300px|How Chinese people show that they love Japan.]]
[[File:Penn stfu.gif|frameless|left]][[File:Penn stfu.gif|frameless|right]]
[[File:Penn stfu.gif|frameless|left]][[File:Penn stfu.gif|frameless|right]]
[[File:Penn stfu.gif|frameless|left]][[File:Penn stfu.gif|frameless|right]]
[[File:Penn stfu.gif|frameless|left]][[File:Penn stfu.gif|frameless|right]]
[[File:Penn stfu.gif|frameless|left]][[File:Penn stfu.gif|frameless|right]]
{{quote|The Best Page in the Universe is a website on which Maddox, [[fact|who is no spring chicken]], spouts his predictable, angry middle-aged man rants on just about everything. He says his site has gotten more than 270,000 hits. So, what's his biggest whiny ass complaint about senior citizens?|Penn Jillette|Penn & Teller: Bullshit! S8E8}}


Many have wondered why China has such a [[Sex|large population]] only to be perplexed by the [[ugly|ugliness]] of the [[women|ladies]]. Prince Philip, the greatest philosopher of the [[United Kingdom]], considered Chinese ladies to be the [[Fugly|"ugliest in the world."]] These are simply [[fact|lies]], Chinese women are the most beautiful type of [[azn]] and Chinese men are [[Fact|handsome, strong, virile beasts]] with big [[cocks]] with which to spread their seed far and wide. They were so virile that the one child policy was introduced in order to restrain them, since the Chinese population has more than doubled over the last 70 years, from 563 million in 1950 to over 1.3 billion in 2005. There is only so much [[cum]] a [[vagina]] can take people, use your brains.


July 29th, [[2010]]: Maddox made it. Oh boy, did he make it.
In the wake of the Republic of China's severe overpopulation, the Chinese Communist Party has mastered the art of sacrificing its people with noble campaigns like the Great Leap Forward (1959–1961), [[I did it for the lulz|which killed 30-40 million people, and the Cultural Revolution (1966–1976) with 7–8 million casualties.]] The Han Chinese are proud of their ancient heritage of being ruled over by foreigners during non-Chinese dynasties like the British Empire who pwned their way into Hong Kong. They have since been absorbed back into the welcoming bosom of the communist party, whether they like it or not, and they will either join mainland China or die. All of China belongs to China, yes, even Taiwan.


[https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Sonic_the_Hedgehog_Watch_%26_Win_Sweepstakes Much like another infamous lol-cow], Maddox was on the tubes for one whole minute. He was on a show called ''[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Penn_%26_Teller:_Bullshit! Penn & Teller: Bullshit!]'' by [[Penn and Teller|Penn Jillette and some other faggot]]. He went on the show to whine about old people and how stinky they are. Watch the clip below or [http://thepiratebay.org/torrent/5726255/Penn.and.Teller.Bullshit.S08E08.HDTV.XviD-SYS go torrent it].
Much like niggers with their basketball, spics with their menial labor and whites with their faggotry, chiggers have their own special array of talents. At a young age, many boys are forced to engage in a life of studying the Confucian rites and being able to apply its teachings to the math and physics they're forced to cram for on a study night. And on top of that, you have to learn kung-fu, [[Lies|a real sport and martial art]] and/or gymnastics to compete in the [[Olympics]].


The show's research team was busy smearing their assholes on the printer when some [[retard]] had a brilliant idea. Why not round up bloggers who have no idea what they're talking about and having Penn and Teller troll them for an episode to make them appear e-savvy to [[normies]]. It just so happened Maddox fit this criteria, and so he made it on the show. Behold! [[Internet_Tough_Guy|The first ever appearance of the world-renowned badass heavyweight intellectual when he isn't hiding behind a keyboard!]]
Speaking of sports, did you know that the national sport of China is manufacturing? The Chinese countryside is dotted with sweatshops full of [[loli|child laborers]] working their fingers to the bone to make sure bargain stores across the world are bursting at the gills with toys covered in lead paint, tacky polyester t-shirts and poop emoji pillows. It's not just the dollar store stuff that gets made here, they also make your [[vidya]] gaem consoles and cellphones, including their many MANY knockoff iterations to also be sold at the dollar store! It is claimed that the sweatshops are so massive and numerous that they can be seen from space, right next to The Great Wall of China. However, the years of labor they endure are worth it, since on payday they are each compensated with a small sum of sand and a handful of dog hairs.


<center>{{frame|<youtube>LL_j6E1uV5U</youtube>
China actually had a interesting culture 100 years ago. <S>But like everything else, Japanese culture invaded and now Chinese also have to display the peace sign in every photograph they take. Nowadays, Chinese people copy from American, European and Japanese culture. China [[b/|no longer displays original content]].</s> '''WE DO SO HAVE A CULTURE STFU IMPERIALIST SCUM'''
<center>'''Maddox you look like you haven't had a shower or seen sunlight since 2003 stfu'''</center>|border=black|background=#ff8000}}</center>


Maddox's eagerness to get [[unrealistic expectations|infinite blowjobs]] from Penn and Teller's fanboys ended up being a [[footbullet]]. Penn, realizing both the obvious (Maddox is as old as the people he calls gross) and the incredibly obvious (Maddox is too up his own ass to see the irony of him insulting old people), blew him the fuck out and told him to [[GTFO]]. Five years later, Maddox would make a [https://youtu.be/8_KNAoWXv0g belated video response] to their arguments. On his blog [http://maddox.xmission.com/c.cgi?u=penn_teller_bullshit post] he said the reason he waited so long was [[lies|to prevent Penn's show getting further publicity]]. Because if there's one thing a well-known Las Vegas magician duo that's been performing since the 1970s needs, it's the 'publicity' you get from your shitty internet-famous blog. Right, dumbass?
===National Anthem===
[[File:Asianlolz.jpg|thumb|right|Get your own chinky-eye glasses; hurry up while supplies last!]]
[[File:JONES_vs_CHINKS.gif|thumb|right|Dr. Jones demonstrates the correct way to handle a Chinese chinamen,  they ''no rikey''.]]


This could've caused Maddox to realize he can only properly play his persona through text and that he should '''never''' be in front of a camera.
<center>{{frame|{{fv|ImperialVideos|background-color:red;|font-weight:bold;|
<youtube>Qv9wk5lgGFo</youtube>|
}}|border=yellow|background=red}}</center>


This did not happen.
===Chinese Hobbies===


==Shows==
* Inspecting  [[cunts]] through voyeurism.
* Pretending not to speak English
* Chopping off peoples penises to get eunuchs.
* Eating anything that moves and shitting epidemics. See [[SARS]] and [[AIDS]].
* Shouting in loud, annoying voices with a horrible sounding language.
* Preparing for sweatshop work at age 3.
* Wishing their dicks were bigger.
* Manufacturing inscrutably low-quality, knock-off products that break upon use.
* Manufacturing malfunctioning weapons to other countries who are at war with each other only to make money. See [[Russia]] and [[USA]].
* Doing [[math]].
* Butchering the English language by trying to adopt [[Ebonics]].
* Counter-Racism
* Being just like [[Jews]]
* Farming virtual [[World of Warcraft|gold]] to sell to [[basement dwellers]].
* Surpassing the [[The Jewnited States of Americunts|U.S.]] as being the most environmentally-destructive, air and water-polluting nation on the planet.
* Hating [[Niggers]] better than [[americunts]] (especially the [[India|Curry Nigger]] and [[Indonesia|Shore Nigger]])
* Sending butthurt, stupid, smelly Indonesian Muslims to help the Jew-sent, Syrian Rapefugees rape Europe to death.
* Taking a shit in holes
* Standing on toilet bowls to shit
* Being nippy
* [http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2867219/Inside-Chinese-fur-farms-breed-raccoon-dogs-tiny-cages-skin-alive-make-luxury-coats-sold-West.html Skinning animals alive]
* Videotape [[Wang Jue|themselves]] crushing cats to death for [[sick fuck|fap material]].
* Use carcinogenic [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e7S7r31cjAQ gutter oil] to cook noodles and sell them on the streets.


===The Best Show in the Universe===
=== 2008 Beijing Orimpics ===


December 9th, [[2008]]: Maddox announced all the time he spent not updating his site wasn't just spent on [[Coomer|jacking off]] to [[hentai]]. He had been working on a show, uncreatively called ''The Best Show in the Universe''. If you've been paying attention, you'd know that this wasn't a television show, but a YouTube show! News of this came via [http://maddox.xmission.com/c.cgi?u=best_show an update on his website], where he simultaneously criticizes YouTube for being shit while advertising his YouTube show. He's not just three years late on making a YouTube series, but he's also a [[hypocrite]]. Great job, Maddox.
<i>Main article: [[LOLympic Games]]</i><br>


Two years after he posted this update, Maddox did what [[retards]], [[faggots]], and [[Chris-chan]] did in a matter of mere hours: post a poorly-made video on YouTube.
[[Image:OrympicShoopSinger.jpg|thumb|China's amazing Shoop-da-Mexican, used to make Mexicans from nothing. [[Pedobear|PEDOBEAR]] APPROVES.]]


<center>{{frame|<youtube>JBiQE4hjOsk</youtube>|border=black|background=#ff8000}}</center>
[[Image:Happy Happy Happy.jpg|thumb|A typical slave to the Dalai Lama.]]


Unsuprisingly, Maddox plagiarises himself in this video. He took the concept of making fun of children's artwork (a dead horse concept in Maddox lore) and rehashed it almost beat by beat. But it's different though. This time, he's making of children singing videos, not drawings. It's not the same idea, but it resembles the concept enough that the results stay the same.
[[Image:TeamBWWOOOOONG.jpg|thumb|Team China has their eyes on the ball...and the gold.]]


{{rainbowsmall|HILARIOUS AND ORIGINAL}}
Beijing was fortunate enough to <strike>win</strike> purchase the bid for the 2008 Orimpic Games, and they have delivered on a promise to give the world an amazing competition.


You'll notice something when you watch this video: Maddox's [[internet_tough_guy|tough guy]] act is significantly less impactful and funny when you can see what he looks like, and even less funny when combined with his nasally, whiny-bitch voice. Maddox never understood the difference between video and text, or how much a change in media may influence an audience's perception. You'd almost feel bad if Maddox's lack of self-awareness if he was capable of making somewhat half-decent content, but he doesn't.
The August 8th Opening Ceremony of the Orimpics started off with a bang. The nation that invented fireworks gave the world the most impressive display of photoshopped fireworks ever seen. The fun did not stop there; after ¥1 Billion Renminbi and years of hard work, Chinese computer engineers managed to create a program able to shoop an attractive child over an [[ugly]] child with talent.


He'd go on to make more of these, sometimes accompanying each new uploaded video with an article on his blog, which may or may not have addendums or [[Shit_Nobody_Cares_About|bonus content]]. It doesn't improve the viewing experience, just trust us.
As the Orimpics got underway, Team China dominated the in the child labor competition, winning the gold with two of the youngest loli to have ever competed. It wasn’t long before everyone was asking how China managed to train some of the best underage athletes in the world. The Chinese reveled their forced labor training camps where loli are selected at the tender age of 3 for rigorous training in making high quality Nikes and lead-covered sports equipment for other teams. (Team Wal-Mart was disappointed in the Chinese decision to reveal secret training exercises.)


===The Biggest Problem in the Universe===
While performing well in the child labor competition, the U.S.of fucking A. try-hard "Redeem "Shitfaced" Team" has hurt China's chances of earning the gold in the Orimpic Basketball Tournament. However, hopes still ride on Yao Ming to bring home a metal. The Chinese state-sponsored coaching staff hopes by training Ming into the ground and destroying his career as a basketball player, they will be victorious in earning the gold for Team China. In a statement to the press Ming said, "If I don' bring home the gorrd they wirr kirr my famiry and reprace me wit any one of severar mirrions erigibre Chinese basketba' praya." You can bet that Ming's famiry will be cheering for him during the games.
[[File:Maddoxonfb.jpg|200px|thumb|right|Satirist doesn't understand satire.]]
[[File:Maddoxonfb2.jpg|200px|thumb|right|Maddox, realizing that [[Dick Masterson]] was a [[Sick_Fuck|'rape apologist']], did what any socially conscious person would do: choose to work with him for over ten years and ''then'' point fingers at him once he starts banging your ex.]]
May 20th, 2014: Maddox gets a second chance through ''The Biggest Problem in the Universe'' podcast with [[Dick Masterson]], an infamous [[IRL troll]] he met through their mutual book publisher, Simon and [[Shill]]-ster. The premise of this podcast was so simple, even someone with [[Down syndrome]] could understand it: Maddox and Dick would bring in problems, dispute whether or not they were actual problems, and then leave it up to fans to vote on which was the bigger problem on some website. Voting would result in a list of the universe's "biggest problems." The problems are detailed below.


{|style="margin: auto;"
China did however excel in spitting, bottle peeing, and shitting in holes. Unfortunately, none of these activities are recognized Olympic events. Regardless, the Chinese moved forward, with each day in the events producing more spit, urine and feces than one could ever have possibly imagined. These events climaxed with the closing ceremonies, where Chinese performers ended the games with a series of enormous bowl movements, the drowning of several Chinese "dissidents" in a spit / urine pool, and a secondary invasion of Taiwan.
|{{frame|{{Template:scrollpic|Alltheproblems.jpg|400|200}}|border=black|background=#ff8000|margin=auto}}
|}


The show was [[awwright]] in the beginning. Dick played to his strengths and would often use Maddox's [[moralfag|moralfaggotry]] and hubris as punchlines at his expense until time ran out. As the show progressed to over 100+ episodes, the vote moved more towards Dick's problems, causing Maddox to get [[butthurt|salty]] over Dick's surge in popularity over him. Combine that with Maddox and Dick's obviously strained relationship (Dick even claimed that the only reason he continued to do the podcast was for the fans and money), and you have a lot of insecurity building up.  The tension reached its peak when Maddox discovered Dick had fucked his ex-girlfriend three years ago. [[Fact|This was the moment that defined the rest of Maddox's career]]
The Chinese government broadcast the events on live TV, then quickly denied the incident ever occurred, right after calling Google to ask for another "favor".


After that, he cancelled the show. On the last episode, Dick wasn’t there. His absence said more than Maddox will ever admit.  
[[Image:Kexin platinum.jpg|thumb|400px|center|[[In_Soviet_Russia...|In Communist China]], loli destroys [http://www.nastialiukin.com/ ''your''] life.]]


Three months later, Dick and Maddox made separate podcasts. Dick had ''The Dick Show'', a really good show where Dick, his audio engineer Sean, goons, and guests shoot the shit for two hours. Maddox has ''The Best Debate In The Universe'', an embarrassingly shit debate show that is a shadow of what came before it. ''The Dick Show'' makes over $20,000 per month through [[Patreon]] donations, while ''The Best Debate in the Universe'', along with Maddox's "[[bullshit|other projects and priorities]]", makes roughly $200 per month. The fact that Dick's popularity overshadowed and undermined Maddox made him very, very [[butthurt|jealous]]. So, over the next several years he would engage in a laundry list of tomfuckery:
===Things They Don't Want You to Know===
* Maddox redirected the [[RSS]] feed of the old show to his new, awful show.
[[File:Chinese claw machine.jpg|thumb|right|100% of China's youth are chain smokers.]]
* All the bonus episodes (that you had to pay to listen to) were uploaded and released for free without Dick's permission.
* Fact: China's National Motto? China: The Land Of Spit And Tobacco.
* Maddox made a video hit piece against Dick, accusing him of some supremely retarded shit.
* Fact: Chinese city workers can't dig up roads to repair pipe systems as the natural instinct for a Chinese person when they see an open hole in the ground is to shit in it. It is estimated that the Chinese population could fill the Grand Canyon is less than three minutes.
* Maddox a video on his private Facebook account with all of Dick and Maddox's mutual [[SJW]] comedian friends, causing Dick's reputation to be ruined in this circle.
* Fact: Anything a Chinese person can pee in WILL be peed in. Example: empty water bottles, plastic sandwich baggies, purses, the pocket of a stranger, rectums, vaginas, open sewers (AKA: China)
* He had his girlfriend, Metal Jess ([[powerword|Jessica Blum]]), call and complain to his ex-girlfriend's school to make her lose her teaching job.
* Fact: Chinese pussy is hairy and sideways.
* He filed a lawsuit against Dick Masterson, Joshua Kaufman, Asterios, [[Patreon]], Foundation Digital LLC among others for '''$20,000,000.'''
* Fact: China almost got nuked in the Sino-Soviet border conflict.
* Fact: Chinese [[women]] have small [[breasts]]. Any Chinese [[women]] you see with normal or large breasts has implants.
* Fact: The [[ED]] website is not censored in China.
* Fact: Chinese families name their newborn babies by gathering their whole family together and smash glass plates on the floor.
* Fact: The Chinese take pleasure in gobbing on pavements, in restaurants and on each other for that matter. This frequent transfer of bodily fluids is considered more effective in getting woman pregnant. Even children, amirite?


<big>'''ALL BECAUSE DICK FUCKED HIS EX'''</big>
===Chinese Childcare===


On ''The Dick Show'', Maddox's schemes and Dick's reactions to them would often become the main narrative of ''The Dick Show'', with every guest mentioning Maddox at least in passing. The clips in the videos below are some of the best that came out of the drama.
Children in China are treated like crap.  They are either eaten as a staple food, chained to posts like animals and/or brutally molested as a sport.  Those "lucky" enough to survive till the age of 3 are given the privilege of being [[socialism|socially sold]] into mandatory slavery for the greater glory of the country in a sweatshop.
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{{videoframe|BOTDFvids|font-weight: bold;|
|<youtube>_mnA1lm-48U</youtube>
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===The Best <s>Show</s> Debate in the Universe===
{{cg|Chinklets||center|<gallery perrow="6">
Did you not like the old show? Do you like unfunny, unwitty banter? Do you like listening to debates about topics everyone and their mother has already talked about? Do you need something to drown out the sound of [[girlfriend|your significant other]] [[cuckoldry|having sex with]] [[nigger|another person]]? Look no further than ''The Best Debate in the Universe''!
Image:Fetus soup 2.jpg|Fetuses are often revered as a Chinese delicacy.
Image:BabyDog.jpg| "HOW FAR CAN I GO ON CHAIN?"
Image:ChineseCarryOut.jpg|--Ancient traditional Chinese method of [[child abuse|transportation]].-- Actually, the baby in the plastic bag is actually a picture taken in [[good Korea]]
Image:Catburger.jpg
Image:China_-_Raw_Puppy_Eats.jpg
Image:Babysoup5.jpg|Yummy!
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="6">
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|}}


Listen to Maddox, edgelord and parody musician [[Rucka Rucka Ali]], e-celeb guests, and [[shit no one cares about|people no one gives a shit about]] as they debate on stuff only [[9gag]] users would find funny and controversial! Spend an entire hour listening to Maddox do what he's best at: being annoying!
[[PROTIP]]: Google "Chen Chuanliu".


This podcast is awful. Don't listen to it, you'd be wasting your time.
Chinese babies don't wear diapers, as they're far too expensive for 3rd world bordering chinky chip slave laborers only making 10 cents an hour to churn out [[Apple]] and [[My Little Pony]] crap.  As such parents rely on "split pants", letting the child just shit and piss all over the floor and themselves.  As a result, most chinklets are treated like animals and caged or tied up outdoors.  The "split pants" also offer a unique "double feature" in that it allows for "easy access" to China-men who recreationally molest young children, which is in fact a national sport in China.


==Books==


=== The Alphabet of Manliness ===
{{cg|Split Pants||center|<gallery perrow="5">
[[File:Alphabet.png|200px|thumb|left|The new special edition cover of Maddox's only successful book]]
Image:China_-_Split_Pants_-_01.jpg
[[File:Cisfor.jpg|200px|thumb|right|Remember, sexual assault is incompatible with the values of New York Times Best Selling author George “Maddox” Ouzounian if he’s not teaching you how to do it.]]
Image:China_-_Split_Pants_-_02.jpg
[[File:Maddoxarmpit.gif|200px|thumb|Maddox with his ''Alphabet of Manliness'' chain. Gross.]]
Image:China_-_Split_Pants_-_03.jpg
[[File:George-Feminismassailt.jpg|200px|thumb|left|Remember kids, Maddox is a proud [[feminist]].]]
Image:China_-_Split_Pants_-_04.jpg
{{quote|Why should people buy anything I sell? I don't know why anyone should buy anything.|Maddox on how [[capitalism]] works.}}
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|}}


[[666|June 6, 2006]]: Maddox released his first book, ''The Alphabet of Manliness'', in an effort to pay for the huge amount of Nair needed to remove his disgusting back hair. The book skyrocketed on [[The New York Times]] Best Sellers List, reaching #2 on the “Advice, How-To, and [[shit nobody cares about|Miscellaneous]]” category. If there’s anyone [[libtards]] consider an authority on manliness, it’s a balding, haggard, middle aged basement dwelling blogger. [[Paul Joseph Watson|Imagine our shock]].
===Famous Chinese===
# [[Confusion|Confucius]]
# Winnie the Pooh
# Lin Zhong Min
# Guan Yin
# [[Kill Bill|Pai Mei]]
# Bruce Lee (and clones Bruce Li, Bruce Lei, Blues Ree etc)
# Christopher Lee
# [[Pokemon|Hitmonlee]]
# [[Pokemon|Hitmonchan]]
# [[Pokemon|Hitmontop]]
# Mao Ze [[loldongs|Dong]]
# [[Kill Bill|O-ren Ishii]]
# [[Elliot Rodger]]
# Yao Ming
# Ho-Ming Mee Sao
# Wang Wei (The pilot who took down an American plane and made them apologize)
# Ming The Merciless
# Fu Manchu
# Yin-Yang Twins
# Lao Tse
# [[Goatse|Goa Tse]]
# [[Edison Chen]] (the hero with many jpegs to back him up)
# David Carradine
# Ms. Wang ([http://www.nytimes.com/2008/04/17/us/17student.html Infamous traitor of China that was exposed by the Internet and the New York Times])
# O-chin Chin
# Lu-Bu
# Lu-Wi
# Helen Yoo
# Long-Ho
# Hu-Dat
# Jackie Chan
# Chris Rock
# Donnie Yen
# Ching Chong
# Peter Chao (The guy who rubbed his own crap on a building)
# Kim Jung Il
# That white guy from Kung Pow
# [[Bill Clinton]]
# [[Chuck Norris]]
# [[Belgium|Jean Claude Van Damme]]
# [[Kevin Rudd]]
# Long Le
# Steven Segal
# William Hung
# William Fu
# Jason Statham
# Jet Li
# [[Pokemon|Brock]]
# Yung Shin Boys
# [[Michael Phelps]]
# Lo Wang (Fictional character from Shadow Warrior, made by the same guys that made [[Duke Nukem 3D]].)
# [[Pwnt|Dalai Lama]]
# [[Christopher Walken]]
# [[hippy|Tommy Chong]]
# Hu Flung Dung
# Adolf Hitler
# [[George Bush]]
# [[The Matrix|Agent Smith]]
# [[Geert Wilders]]
# Wu Tang Clan
# [[Batman|Mr. Lau]]
# [[You|Yu]]


''The Alphabet of Manliness'' serves as an encyclopedia for men, [[Encyclopedia_dramatica|which we naturally consider to be a grotesque affront to our very existence]]. The book covers many hyper-masculine topics from [[gay|how shitty women are]] to [[faggot|how great men are]]. There’s even a chapter in which Maddox teaches you how to cook [[meth]], like he’s the [[Breaking Bad|Heisenberg]] of cucks. It is the quintessence of everything you thought was funny a couple years ago, like [[doge]] images or [[Chuck Norris]] memes, the latter of which having a chapter dedicated to. Maddox’s comedic prowess matches him with that of a [[Hot Topic]] shirt.
==Government==


<s>Despite this book being to satire what [[Zoe Quinn]] or [[Brianna Wu|Literally Who]] is to game development, it sold very well. This was an unexpected victory for someone like Maddox. This is something he can be proud of look back on in pride. He went beyond trivial blogging and made a career for himself on his own terms. Anyone can think anything about Maddox, but this can be at least respected. Maddox can have everything else in his life taken away from him, but no one can touch the memory of his taste of genuine success.</s>
[[Image:ChinasRedArmyFly1.jpg|thumb|right|HOLY SHI- They can FLY?]]
[[Image:ChinasRedArmyFly3.jpg|thumb|right|Harry Potter is speechless...]]
[[Image:Chinamastercard.jpg|thumb|right|Chinese Electricians]]
<s>One of the few remaining [[Communist]] regimes in the world, China's leader is always a member of the Communist Party of China.</s> China is now "[[Socialist]]". While the Democratic Party of China, founded in 1998, tried to make a go of it, their leaders were [[Pwnt|promptly detained]] and sent to [[Holocaust|"correction facilities"]].


<big><u><b>[[HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS]]!! MADDOX DISAVOWED HIS ONLY SUCCESSFUL BOOK!!!!</b></u></big>
[[Fascist|President]] Hu Jintao, when he's not busy stomping on kittens, has overseen the rise of China from a third world nation to an [[Wal-Mart|economic superpower]] (but still third world nation). lulwut? Open mouth insert truck of cocks you dumb piece of shit, after the Hilarious Chinacost that oldskool commies unleashed during the Cultural Revolution it was for Deng Xiao Ping to divert the chinacide to what outcummed as an economic development, hence, China finally stopped sucking cock and became [[Wal-Mart|economic superpower]]. There is more to that, If you weren't smoking pot during Elmo Street, you'd know that during WWII China got raeped hard by the Japan niggaz. Back then Commies were nothing but your average Fallout 3 wastelander hobos, living on sucking Russia's delicious cock, Republic of China with Chiang Kai-shek as the Leader owned the street cred in the back days. So, when Japz went partying hard at Shanghai and especially at Nanking, Commies and Kuominttangs didn't give a flying fuck and continued to saw out each other. Eventually they "united" and fought back. Little did they know, that after the war, casualties were counted and bricks of uranium were said to be shat, for it turned out, that the Japz lost hardly 1.3 million samurais, 700 000 of which were ass fucked as POW's by glorious IVAN's army in Korea, and China managed to get their dicks cut by 30 000 000 (thirty million) people. 1.3 million to 30 millions, kinda tells a lot 'bout chinese army, amirite. So, after the war ended, Chinks had a small civil war between Commies and Kuomintang ended with Chiang Kai-shek GTFO to Taiwan with all the gold and hookers, thus on 1st October of 1949 People's Republic of China was born. USSR, UK, even Germany were quickly recovering form WWII, but China was still in mid 16th century, having no industry, no telecom and no 4chan, but as they were commies they pledged for some hard soviet cock in their tight azn pussies and so a glorious path to Prosperity began. To cut a long story short, Chinks got a fuckton of OIL in factories, telecom, 2ch, 4ch, Chris Hansen, education and even nukes from USSR, 'till Stalin decided to GTFO forever, with Khurshev being Steve Ballmer, Mao got pissed with USSR, they even attacked USSR's border posts in 1969 scoring some frags. And there was but one country, that rejoiced at such an outcome - the US of A. Back in China with no Soviet cock, commie leaders initiated Chinacide, so when Deng Xiao Ping finally got some street cred, he had a fucking great Idea - If we can't have some delicious Soviet Penis, we could ask for PHAT AMERICUNT DONGS in our asses, as it happened with President Nixon's Shocking visit to PRC in 1973. Which brings us to the beggings - Deng Xiao Ping is responsible for China's economic growth and the fact, that China WILL ALWAYS CRAVE FOR PHAT COCKS.


In a facebook post [[at least 100 years ago]] [[last thursday]], Maddox made the following post on his facebook account:
China's government is also known for its [[Lie|sterling Human Right's]] record, treating more diverse members of its society such as Falun Gong adherents and Tibetan Buddhists with the utmost [[torture|dignity]] and [[Party_van|respect]].


{{quote|Alright guys, a few things:
===Military===
1. I've been dealing with a persistent harassment campaign for 4 months, which has come to head recently, I want to put this out as a warning to friends: for the next few days, please do not add anyone you don't know, I've hidden my friends list and they are grasping at straws, Please do not engage with any trolls trying to harass you or the UCB community. [[Hypocrisy|Trolls thrive on attention. Starve them of it. They're bored people who hate themselves.]]
[[File:Great Wall of Doge.jpg|right|thumb|Built in 6th century BC, the Great Wall of Doge is a testament to Chinese militarism.]]
While China was famous in the past for [[Epic_fail|losing hard]] to the [[Japanese]], [[Russians]], [[Mexicans]], Martians, homosexuals, and 3rd grade girls, the latter half of the 20th Century saw a dramatic turnabout in China's ability to wage war.


2. We need to taik about "The Alphabet of Manliness." I'm not particularly proud of that book. Not because of the content matter (though a lot of that sucks too), but because it just wasn't very well-written. It was my first book and in it, I wrote a lame chapter based largely on the "Stop Short" episode of Seinfeld called "Copping a feel." I looked back on it today and cringed. I wrote it over 11 years ago and don't stand behind much of it today. I've never even read it from start to finish. The only two chapters I'm proud of are "B fo "B for Boners" and "Urinal Etiquette" which are masterpieces and should be studied in master's literature classes.
In [[Korea]] and [[Vietnam]] they were notorious for their [[Zerg Rush]]es against [[Americunt]] forces.


3. '''REDACTED''' has been [[dox|doxxed]]. We're going to the police. We encourage anyone receiving threats to go to the police as well.
Recent advances include:


Today has been a rough day, My sincere thanks to my friends and family for their support|Maddox|Facebook Post}}
* The selling of Nuclear Arms secrets to China by [[Bill Clinton]] (thanks a lot, asshole).
* The selling of uranium to China by [[Australia|drunk convicts]].
* The purchasing of diesel-electric submarines that can sneak up on unsuspecting [[Americunt]] ships.


Maybe Maddox was right to disavow Alphabet of Manliness, since no one who cries about online bullying should have the word “man” associated with their name.
'''Disadvantages of the China Zerg Rush:'''
[[File:Second opium warb17fec93446e2bf26b74.jpg|thumb|right|The Chinese military gets bitch-slapped by Europe's [[awesome|epic military power]] during the 2nd Opium Wars]]
It costs the Chinese government approximately $1 to give their soldiers a cheap uniform and a basic two-day training course. That is not difficult. However, it is quite expensive to produce weapons, even if they are cheap, unreliable pieces of shit. Thus, the government forced everyone to learn Kung Fu in hopes that they might have rare chance of winning if they ever get close enough to engage in hand to hand combat. In a group of five Chinamen, there will be one or two with rifles the rest might be armed with Dao swords and Three-section staffs,lol! The others will just throw fireballs at you and hope you die like a low budget Kung Fu film. China often parades its military equipment since they've made some progress since the "great leap forward" but most of their weapons are outdated. It's a ploy to convince its neighbors that attacking China is foolhardy but the truth is that China only has its massive infantry division as an asset. When the world and China's neighbors realize that China is in reality actually a very weak country with only the power to only oppress its citizens, China will get pimp-slapped like an overdosed hooker as it has been in the past.


During the drama with Dick Masterson, he accused him of being a [[rape]] apologist in his shitty expose video by playing a cut, out of context clip of the podcast. In this clip. Dick said that if a whore falls asleep at a club, she should expect to get assaulted because it is an expected outcome given the circumstance. Apparently, he cut that out because it didn’t align with his “values”. This video was eviscerated by all his fans who specifically cited this book to point out Maddox’s hypocrisy, showing a chapter called “C Is For Copping A Feel” in which he gives tips on how to sexually assault women without getting caught. After that, Maddox posted a Facebook status officially disavowing his only notable claim to fame. It goes to show how much libtards like Maddox will give up just for the moral high ground.
'''Advantages:'''
No country has unlimited ammunition. If a country is unprepared and doesn't have reserves while a group of troops is firing at the [[Zerg_Rush|never ending horde]], a Chinaman will fly around the back and Kung Fu their [[ass]] up.  


[http://archive.is/6U8s6 Since Maddox is a pirate, he has no problem with you pirating his book]. [https://thepiratebay.org/torrent/3497068/Maddox+-+The+Alphabet+of+Manliness Get your copy here].
Fuck with one, fuck with them all, and you're bound to get Kung Fu-cked Up. <strike>Why bother messing with them?</strike> [[HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS|HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT I EAT DOG]].


<big>'''[https://web.archive.org/web/20161102004143/https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OeW4m76E7S0 ARCHIVED LINK BECAUSE THE STINKY ARMENIAN FAGGOT SET IT TO PRIVATE LOL]'''</big>
'''Nukes'''


=== <s>I Am Better Than Your Kids</s> Crappy Children's Art ===
China has nukes, but like every other country with nukes it knows that if it is dumb enough to use 'em, the USA will pwn their entire country to glass and then shit on the radioactive remains from a great height.


[[Fact|No one gives a shit about this book]]. All he does is repeat the "I Am Better Than Your Kids" concept he put out free ten years ago. [[RiceGum]] does everything in this book better and for no monetary loss of your own.
==Economy==
[[File:China Loli Rd.png|thumb|right|250px|Chinese equivalent of Wall St.]]
[[File:China Bacon Apartment.jpg|thumb|right|250px|Fresh meats can be purchased from your neighbor.]]
The people of China are willing to work hard for little money, from a [[Children|young age]] until they drop dead. Without their hard work, most people in places like [[Australia]], [[Canada]] and [[United States]] would be [[Wal-Mart|naked, living in trees, and eating berries]].


[[File:Tumbleweed.gif|center]]
Chinese spies spent years studying the American economy from secret bases in Chinatowns. They copied the capitalistic economy, while keeping the dictatorial political system.


<center><big>'''↑↑↑↑'''</big> '''''These are all the people that bought this book. Zero readers. Not the best step forward for a [[New York Times]] Best Selling author.'''''</center>
The Chinese mastered the art of sleazy economic competition. They deliberately pegged their Yuan currency to the Dollar so Chinese products always stay cheaper than American, and other developed countries.
It ensures massive Chinese product exports so America and co. are swamped with cheap crap and cannot compete in this unfair trade scheme.
Much of America's industry and jobs has been outsourced to eager Chinese sweatshops.


<center>{{frame|<youtube>L30Sp8nLZ5I</youtube>
The United States turned into an unsustainable consumer country of primarily Chinese products. This dirty trick created an enormous trade deficit and national debt for America.
<center>'''In this interview with some lawyer, Dick reveals this book may have some [[bullshit|unreputable]] art featured.'''</center>|border=black|background=#ff8000}}</center>
The American leaders are oblivious to the perils, and spend like drunken sailors, addicted to everything Made in China. Especially the  mail in waifus from china. Bitch will make my sandwich and suck my small asian wee wee.  


=== <s>The Best Book in the Universe</s> F*ck Whales ===
1.00 USD = 7 Chinese Yuan (also known as "one month's wages").
[[Image:Cuckwhales.jpeg|200px|thumb|left|This book took ''four fucking years'' to write, and it was dead on arrival.]]
[[Image:Fucksales.jpg|thumb|right|Fixed]]
After his second book failed, Maddox's internet-fame was dependent on this next book doing well. For a while, it seemed like he had somewhat of a shot. He was riding the wave of his semi-profitable podcast (more on that below), so he banked on said podcast to build him a customer base. [[HAHAHA, OH WOW|It took him 4 years, 10 months, and 28 days to write this book]]. All that time was spent on doing more important things, like playing video games, building up hype for the book on other podcasts (including one by fellow baldfag [[Anthony Fantano]]), and eating [[shit]].  


The chance Maddox had for this book being successful, however, looked a bit faded once all his self-inflicted drama with Dick Masterson (discussed below) came back to bite his flat ass. The book still did well, right?
'''Opinion of Chinafag:''' A little known fact is that China Likes Big American Cock. They way it tastes like shit reminds me of how my mom tasted after the Tiananmen Square Massacre. When my friends say to me eat her dead body and ask, "wing wang. What the fuck are you doing?" I replied, "My food stamps ran out. The government was displeased by my -A in math, so I needed to eat my mom to survive."


{{Rainbowsmall|SPOILER: IT BOMBED HARD}}
===Economic Policy===
The three step economic policy used by China:
*[[Accidentally]] the paint.
*????
*PROFIT!!!


[[File:Original book.jpg|200px|thumb|left| At first, my book was all like...]]  
===Exports===
[[File:Fuckwhales.jpeg|200px|thumb|right| But then, my book was like...]]
[[File:Opium merchant.jpg|right|300px]]
[https://www.reddit.com/r/TheDickShow/comments/78i16m/circlejerk_about_how_terrible_fck_whales_is_doing/ The book peaked at #8,998 on Amazon].
Some notable Chinese exports include:
''F*ck Whales'' was a financial nightmare for everyone involved, including Simon & Schuster, the publishers dumb enough to invest in a burnt out shill like Maddox.  Compared to his '''DISAVOWED''' #2 ranking on [[The New York Times]] Best Sellers list, this was a major setback. [https://www.reddit.com/r/TheDickShow/comments/77kjsp/if_these_tracking_sites_are_reliable_frick_whales/ Hell, the book may’ve not even sold 100 copies on it’s release date]! One thing is for certain: with the way ''F*ck Whales'' is selling, it’ll take longer for Maddox to write his [[taxes]] than it took to write this book.
*[[McDonald's]] Happy Meal toys
*[[My Little Pony]] toys.
*Lead paint
*Diseased chicken
*[[AIDS|Bird Flu]]
*Fleshlights
*[[Irony|American Flags]]
*African Genocide
*Pirated copies of anything and everything
*Rice
*<s>Chinese food</s> urban myth, Chinese food is actually made in Wisconsin
*Stuntmen
*Chinatowns that take up all the local jobs
*Malware such as Nimda
*Everything else


There would be a summary of the book here, but no one read it. Based on [https://books.google.com/books/about/F_ck_Whales.html?id=XgfPCgAAQBAJ&printsec=frontcover&source=kp_read_button the 25 page-long preview from Google Books], it’s rehashed material from his site. The one funny thing about this book is that Maddox is so creatively bankrupt that he himself subconsciously admits it.
==History==


The book was going to be called ''The Best Book In The Universe'', but some dickhead bought the domain name. So, it was renamed to the equally as creative ''F*ck Whales''. Nice asterisk, retard.
[[Image:GreatFirewall.jpg|thumb|right|The last Great Wall didn't work any better...]]
{{quote|The [[death]] toll stands at nine thousand, and that number looks certain [[Over 9000|to rise]].|BBC 6 PM News, 12 May 2008 on the Great Sichuan Earthquake.}}
The People's Republic of China is not an inheritor of previous dynasties which were created by foreign barbarians. The PRC has false imperialistic claims to territories that never belonged to China proper ([[Tibet]], Taiwan, Manchuria). Despite that, the Chinese Communist Party led by [[Hitler|Mao]] still managed to [[Pwn|conquer]] the two countries of Tibet. Adding to the humiliation is the fact that China was a mainly aggrarian country when said countries were conquered.


<center>{{frame|<youtube>MLiOD_y8CQw</youtube>
Starting in 1959, the Chinese started dying from famine on a massive scale. One of the consequence is that there are few to no pets in China. Despite [[PETA|what some retards]] say, [[cat|cats]] and [[dogs]] are just food there. One more reason why the Chinese found a way to make just about anything digestible. It is estimated that over 30 million people died. The famine was ended in 1961 by [[Lmao_Zedong|Mao Zedong]] importing grain from the [[capitalist]] countries and making a law that every Chinese can have a handful of rice per day, thus, thwarting [[evolution]].
<center>Nice book title you have there, Maddox. ''Shame if someone took it from you''.</center>|border=black|background=#ff8000}}</center>


==Other notable literary works==
Like any other writer, Maddox has [[over 9000]] other projects that are unpublished, incomplete, or were released in a limited capacity only a few lucky fans could get their hands on. Such works, that have since circulated, include (but are not limited to):
===Chinese Inventions===
[[File:Potn china starts televising the sunrise.jpg|right|thumb|Eat that, [[Japan|Land of the Rising Sun]].]]
[[Lie| The centuries of foreign rule over China means many inventions and achievements were made possible thanks to their foreign overlords. Were it not for their generous intervention, they'd still be living in igloos and hunting jellyfish.]] Actually, they discovered and invented a lot of cool things like paper, the printing press, silk, compasses, and most importantly gunpowder BUT the Arabs were smart enough to [[steal|burrow]] these inventions from the Chinese. They then assraped China at the Battle of Talas in 751. Then the Arabs converted the entire Central Asia to [[Islam]] and screwed China's plans at raping the shit out of the place. Then during the Crusades, the Europeans lived the raping shit out of the ME and stole the inventions from the Arabs. Thus the "barbarian" Europeans eventually harnessed and improve on those originally Chinese inventions to [[rape|pwn the living shit out of]]the whole world during the age of Imperialism. And even to this day, the Chinese are still butthurt over the imperialistic rape and pwnage they created an <s>[http://www.humen.com/english/info/humeninfo7-2.htm entire museum dedicated to imperialism/buttrape].</s> [[LOL|ROR]] [[404]]


===A Message To 80’s Girl===
===The Great Wall of China===
One day, Maddox's ex-girlfriend and Dick's current girlfriend 80's Girl was going through her bullshit. Packed with all the big, black [[dildos]], perfume, and whatever else girls like, she found an envelope. In this envelope was a very lovely letter written by Maddox. Read it for yourself:
[[File:China_No_Foresigners.jpg|thumb|right|Modern incarnations of the Great Wall are still prevalent throughout China.]]
[[100_years_ago|At least 100 hundred years]] ago, the Great Wall was built to stave off invading drug lords. It never actually worked, because the drug lords simply bribed the gatekeepers. They killed them too when they came through.


{|style="margin: auto;"
On the other hand, ordering that a great wall be built has turned out to be a very effective form of [[Birth control|population control]], as it is estimated that [[OVER 9000|millions of people died]] constructing the wall over the span of thousands of years and several dynasties.
|{{frame|{{Template:scrollpic|80SGIRLILY.png|700|200}}|border=black|background=#ff8000|margin=auto}}
|}


{{clear}}
On a side note, anyone who believes the myth that a 20-foot wide dirt colored wall can be seen from space is fucking retarded. See: [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Wall_of_China#Visibility_from_low_earth_orbit FACT]


<center>{{frame|
===Later History===
{{videoframe|BOTDFvids|font-weight: bold;|
|<youtube>CDlPBZODAHk</youtube> A live reading of this literary masterpiece
|<youtube>eCC1JFkkgAI</youtube> Critics review ''A Message To 80's Girl''
|}}|border=black|background=#ff8000}}
</center>


=== #WAUT3RGATE ===
[[File:Fuckingtestfrogtranks.jpg|thumb|right|Joey "Tank Man" Johnson takes his pack of tanks for a walk.]]


[[File:Madcuckflapping_s.gif|thumb|250px|Individuals with severe [[autism]] are known for making unusual, sudden movements, such as the flapping of the hands.]]
[[Image:InvisibleExecution.jpg|thumb|right|Invisible Execution!]]
[[File:Maddox-2buttons.jpg|thumb|right|That readers is what we call an "[[Intellectual Checkmate]]".]]
After ''The Biggest Problem in the Universe'' ended, some guy that made music for the show went on a venture to get Maddox and Dick to bury the hatchet. [https://web.archive.org/web/20170519030355/http://makeragenotwar.com:80/ He made a website advocating for them to apologize for all the bullshit they both did.] Part of this effort went into him messaging Maddox and trying to get his side of the story. Little did he know, he'd have to go through a ton of Maddox's delusional rants about [[shit no one cares about]]. After a while, the guy leaked them on [[IRC]] for everyone to laugh at. But, after Dick confronted him and told him they're never coming back together, he [[DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING|DELETED FUCKING EVERYTHING]] out of respect. That didn't stop Maddox from threatening the poor guy to dox him, though. What a class fucking act.


Things revealed in these chats include, but aren't limited to:
Either China made Marco Polo famous, or Marco Polo made China famous. At any rate, now we know what to say when wandering around a dark room. China is known for contributing spaghetti ([[YA RLY]]!), deadly diseases, and useless products to the western civilization.


* Maddox feels nothing but contempt towards his fans, like we mentioned before. He feels this way because, in his bald, dumb head, he thinks his fans owe him their gratitude for bringing them shitty content that's not funny.
In the latter half of the 20th Century, China has had [[Lie|good relations]] with its neighboring country, [[Japan]]. In fact, whenever you meet a Chinese person, repeatedly refer to them as Japanese. This will ensure your ability to make many Chinese [[e-pal]]s.
* Dick has a girlfriend, a house, and a successful podcast because of Maddox. You can see this is [[bullshit]] if you were even half as retarded as Maddox is.
* Maddox says Asterios doxxed his girlfriend, while also saying that he accused his girlfriend of doxing him.
* Maddox is very sad and angry over [[Kiwi Farms|a forum of people harassing him and slandering him and calling him a cuck and faggot every fucking day]].
* Maddox is very hypocritical about how wrong harassment and meddling in the lives of others exactly is.
* Maddox claims that his ex is both obsessed with him and was abusive to him while they were in a relationship together. Yes, he is saying that he was abused by a woman. What a tough guy.
* Maddox, above all else, says he wouldn't escalate the tension between him and Dick any further. [[Irony]].
''<big>You can read all the chats [https://web.archive.org/web/20170606053313/http://files.ilj.io/files/what_i_owe.txt here], [https://web.archive.org/web/20170805193345/http://files.ilj.io/files/the_disgusting_thing_asterios_did.txt here], [https://web.archive.org/web/20170805193359/http://files.ilj.io/files/make_rage_not_war.txt here], [http://files.ilj.io/files/logs/maddox_is_abused.md here], and [http://files.ilj.io/files/logs/tbpitu_downfall.md here], all either archived or somehow not deleted.</big>''


<center>{{frame|<youtube>ZrRr1BjY17g</youtube><center>'''Dramatic re-enactment with Madcucks, a parody of Maddox that's way more likable than the real thing.'''</center>|border=black|background=#ff8000}}</center>
Inexplicably, the Chinese also get extremely offended when they are mistaken for Taiwanese, which, technicly, they are. To [[Lulz|demonstrate your knowledge and understanding of their culture]], always be sure to tell them you are aware that [[Mexico]] is NOT part of China and is in fact an entirely different country.
{{clear}}
=== Maddox's list of words that trigger him ===


<center>{{frame|<youtube>yPLPCxOdhk8</youtube><center>'''[https://images.encyclopediadramatica.rs/e/ed/Maddoxbannedwords.mp4 Archived copy here.] We won't Maddox delete his bullcrap.'''</center>|border=black|background=#ff8000}}</center>
Deng Xiaoping, China's version of [[Reagan]], was [[Lolwut|inscrutable]]. Was he a stalwart [[Communist]] or [[Capitalist]] reformer? Did he hate our freedom like all <s>[[Communist]]</s> [[capitalist|Capitalists]], or did he love money like a Jew?


Maddox may not have a lot going for him, but he leeches off of "friends of friends" with [[over 9000]] e-celebrities. If you watch any "meme" YouTuber from [[Reddit|/r/videos]] or anyone from "le YouTube skeptic community", it's more than likely they're friends with Maddox. One of them, [[The Amazing Atheist|TJ Kirk (a.k.a: The Amazing Fruit Fucker)]], let Maddox guest on his podcast, Drunken Peasants. But Maddox couldn't ''just'' guest on a ''live-streamed show'' where ''anyone can comment anything''. Maddox forced TJ to [[censor|filter]] the pay chat, in which audience members, for a bit of money, can write a comment TJ and his co-hosts will read on air. This led to '''''NO ONE'S COMMENT GETTING READ'''''. Only two were read that episode, both being subtle shots at Maddox that flew over everyone else's head. This caused such a [[autistic screeching|shitstorm]], TJ was forced to refund everyone who didn't get their comment featured because all his fans were threatened to pull their support from his [[Patreon]].
====Chinese Imperialism:====


Dick not only offered to reimburse any losses, but got one of TJ's co-hosts to guest to a live show. On that live show, he read the original memo Maddox sent TJ. This was met with plenty of [[lulz]].
<center>{{frame|{{fv|ImperialVideos|background-color:#B8B8B8;|font-weight:bold;|
{| class="wikitable sortable"
<youtube>HTUs2eEnjq4</youtube>|
|-
<youtube>a7kNfQs48sc</youtube>|
! Banned word  !! Why it was banned
<youtube>_0HPTB9tWuc</youtube>|
|-
<youtube>vhWGUplSXDo</youtube>|
| The Dick Show  || Maddox is a cuck.
<youtube>49hU-eCj7ug</youtube>|
|-
<youtube>sijubCoBQAM</youtube>|
| thedickshow.com || Maddox is a cuck.
<youtube>9uLEE0e0Hig</youtube>|
|-
}}|border=#B8B8B8|background=#B8B8B8}}</center>
| [[Dick Masterson]]  || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| Team [[Dick]] || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| #TeamDick || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| Masterson || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| Madcucks || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| Madcuck || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| Madcux || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| [[Rape]] list || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| [[Rape]] apologist || Maddox is a cuck
|-
| [[8chan]] || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| [[Dick Masterson]] || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| [[Cuck]] || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| [[Dox|Sycamore]] || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| [[Nigger]] || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| 8chan.net || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| Manpurse || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| Asterios || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| [[Dick]] Team || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| Where's [[Dick]]? || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| Where's Kokkinos? || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| Dick Show || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| [[Cuck]]mas || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| Disavowed || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| The Best Book In The Universe || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| #DickLies || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| #DikLies || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| 30k || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| Kendal || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| Adam Nash || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| Nashville || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| D1ck Masterson || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| [[1337|D1ckm4st3rs0n]] [Many number/letter combos] || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| 80's girl || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| 80s girl || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| Atease girl || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| Dick is the winner || Maddox is a cuck
|-
| [[herpes|Mental]] [[Nigger|Jess]] [Many versions of "Mental Jess"]|| Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| Ouzounian || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| Peach || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| Peach Saliva || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| Restraining order || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| Job lynch mob || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| [[Dox|819]] || Maddox is a cuck.
|}


=== The Biggest Lolsuit in the Universe (AKA: George Ouzounian et al - v. - Dax Herrera et al) ===
===Great Firewall of China===
{{clear}}
[[Last Thursday]], China embarked on a [[Epic fail|monumental project]] to [[Party Van|protect its citizens]] from the [[CP|evils]] of the [[internets]]. Called the Golden Shield project, every communication is routed through a [[Fail|government firewall]], where it is blocked if it attempts to connect to a [[No|site banned in China]]. Naturally, it [[Epic_fail|works just as well as the last Great Wall]].


[[File:Patreonjurisdiction.png|300px|thumb|left|Decides to sue everyone in NY, even though everyone involved in the lawsuit lives in LA... wut?]]
P.S:
[[File:44 crappy childrens work.png|300px|thumb|right|Old Maddox reviews new Maddox's lawsuit]]
[[File:Illegal-flower-halt.jpg]]
[[File:YOUDIDITTOYOURSELFMADDOX.png|300px|thumb|left|This was easily preventable, Maddox.]]
[[Image:Maddilox6.jpg|thumb|right|''PICTURED: REAL LIFE NO JOKE JOURNALIST HEATHER S. LOOKING <s>HOT AS FUCK</s> VERY STRONG AND INDEPENDENT GETTING READY TO WRITE "HER" NEXT BOOK, THE ALPHABET OF IRL FEMININE, WOMYX-CURATED JOURNALISM BY THE BEACH. THERE WOULD A JOKE ABOUT [[fat|WHALES]] AT THE BEACH BUT THAT WOULD BE [[social justice|FATPHOBIC]].'']]
[[File:Maddox-cuck.jpg|thumb|left|Visual representation of Maddox's 'PTSD']]
[[File:Maddoxisacreep.png|200px|thumb|right|Just a normal picture Maddox hides in his website next to the login info of other people.]]
[[File:Lolsuit-cuck.png|thumb|left|Asterios intended to prove to the court that Maddox is a fucking cuck holy shit rofl]]
On November 6th, 2017: Maddox's bloodthirst peaks and with the help of a dog bite lawyer and "recovering" alcoholic Kevin Landau, he filed a $20 million USD civil suit against [[Dick Masterson|Dax Herrera]], Foundation Digital, Llc, Greg Boser, Loren Baker, Cmgrp, Inc. (D/B/A Weber Shandwick), Joshua Kaufman, [[libtard|Asterios]] [[Greek|Kokkinos]], Madcucks aka Trevor Birt, [[Patreon|Patreon, Inc.]], and Jordan Cope.


<center>{{frame|
===Unit 731===
{{videoframe|BOTDFvids|font-weight: bold;|  
[[File:Japanese Woman cuts off Chinese penis.gif|thumb|eight|Japanese conducted torture and mass experiments of Chinese during [[World War II]], and castrated the entire Chinese male population. Here a Japanese woman cuts off a [[Chinese]] man's [[penis]].]]
|<youtube>DN4JCo4bjnM</youtube> A lawyer who knows his shit
There have been countless atrocities throughout history many ignored which we can learn from but whenever you're talking a chink you'll be sure to have this mentioned. Hilariously enough many of histories atrocities were committed notoriously by the Chinese themselves including cruel Chinese emperors, Chinese imperial expansionism, Lingchi:death by a 1000 cuts, violent cultural revolutions, Chinese gulags, artificial famines, mass genocide by Mao Zedong, invading and plundering Africa and Latin America, etc.. The list could go on forever...Instead of learning from Unit 731 as a humbling experience for china to never be belligerent again. China became worse and more aggressive, now china had a reason to adopt a victim mentality(while others who have been persecuted move on)furthering their agenda for imperialism and world domination covertly. Whenever you mention any of China's bad points they will immediately BAAAWWW!!! and bring UNIT 731 up.
|<youtube>0eYLR6CbR78</youtube> IRL lawyer reminding people the law doesn't end where Maddox's feelings begin
|<youtube>7B5by1QHe38</youtube> The conclusion to IRL lawyer going through the lolsuit
|<youtube>Hkg-hbLZF-8</youtube> Don't worry Maddox, Mundane Fat likes you! Surely, that’s worth as much as having a winning case!
|<youtube>11WUsAJ3T_w</youtube> The [[TL;DR]] by [[Mister Metokur]]
|}}|border=black|background=#ff8000}}
</center>


For those thinking a [[lolsuit]] is the same as a frivolous lawsuit, you're objectively wrong. 99% of any threatened legal action in a frivolous suit either never makes it to court, or gets dismissed with prejudice, which is judge-speak for 'I don't need to think about this dumb shit any more, here's the verdict'. This is that 1% of those frivolous cases, in which the case and the litigant are so neurotic and [[batshit insane]] that they defy the bounds of any logic or reason. In this suit, Maddox primary claim is that Dick [[sex|pumped]], [[friend zone|dumped]], and annihilated his reputation with his [[trolling]] and importing/exporting of [[lulz]]. Apparently, a balding, middle-aged man who feels nothing but contempt for his fans is totally deserving of 20,000,000 dollars. While it's true Dick (rightfully) spanked his flat ass, he's far from responsible for any of Maddox's monetary shortcomings and failures. Any motherfucker with common sense realizes this.
[[Image:Unit731-logs.jpg|thumb|left|A Unit 731 Log Inspector]]Unit 731 was a [[epic]] underground complex full of [[4chan|sekret stuffs]], and if you don't know what it is you should probably Google it, because its full of epic win and [[CP]], but to sum it up...


<u>'''Things Maddox has legally admitted to in this lawsuit include</u>:'''
Unit 731 (pronounced CHING-CHONG NIP NONG NONG) was a [[Lulz|covert biological and chemical warfare]] research and development unit of the [[Sick fuck|Imperial Japanese Army]] that undertook [[Tentacle rape|lethal human experimentation]] during World War II. It was responsible for some of the most hilarious war crimes carried out by Japanese personnel, including the killing of thousands of logs.
* Maddox has [[PTSD|Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder]] from being called a cuck.
* Maddox has wanted to and has attempted to get people fired from their jobs.
* Maddox has coordinated, tried to get Dick's Patreon banned for no reason.
* Maddox says ''The Biggest Problem In The Universe'' was a joint venture between him and Dick.
* Maddox admits ''F*ck Whales'' was a financial bomb.
* Maddox's girlfriend also has Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder because of Dick.
* Maddox admits everyone involved (including himself) don't live in New York, despite the lawsuit being filed in New York.
* Maddox admits his career and his "business", is completely destroyed.


<u>'''More recent lolsuit updates include</u>:'''
There is some question to whether UNIT 731 was an actual event or not many times throughout history we hear a one sided story mainly told by the victors of wars and China during WW2 was part of the allied powers. Many in Japan call into question UNIT 731 as an actual event because China is known for its dubious claims especially about history. Interestingly enough many Koreans joined the Japanese when they invaded china. The Chinese are known for propaganda especially the Chinese cinema which is very famous in continent of asia and in the United States because Chinks have infested [[Hollywood]].
* Landau, through possible shitty wording, claims Maddox's girlfriend may actually have [[herpes]]. [[Srsly]].
* Maddox, legally, by his own definition of the word, is a [[cuck]].
* That, through Landau's shitty wording, Dick and Asterios may/may not be the fathers of Madcucks, making Madcucks the first butt baby.  
* Maddox and his girlfriend <s>want a restraining order against Dick</s> [https://youtu.be/tDovnKy0HBU DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS].
* Dick apparently hacked Maddox's web server. It consisted of unlisted, unlinked URLs, which as it turned out [https://www.reddit.com/r/TheDickShow/comments/7r4q6p/exploring_maddoffs_website/dsubjtb/ Maddox had the login information of some of Dick's clients that he wasn't supposed to have.] Chances are, he did some autistic, illegal shit. Some stuff that was also found include [https://www.reddit.com/r/TheDickShow/comments/7ovx3n/facebook_gentlemen_discovers_weird_picture_on/ a creepy photo of a random hot chick that looked as if it was taken without her knowing], pictures of Maddox with hair, and other [[shit no one cares about]].
* Maddox, either purposely or through Landau being unable to write coherently, admits to impersonating a [[liberal media]] journalist named Heather. Above all else, this marks the moment Maddox comes out as an [[trans|Armeni-tran]].


<BIG><U>'''So how did such an amazing lawsuit end?'''</U></BIG>
==Culture==


<center><youtube>n7oqJJ1ijs8</youtube></center> <center>'''Here is the TL;DR teaser trailer that spoils the ending of the lolsuit'''</center>
[[Image:2139_baby.jpg|thumb|Authentic Beaner food sold in the local china town in Germany.]]


<big>''YOU CAN READ THE ENTIRE LOLSUIT, AS WELL AS FOLLOW UP LEGAL ACTIONS ON:''</big>
[[Image:Hello_Kitty_7-11.jpg|thumb|Chinese love Slurpees and Hello Kitty all in one!]]


{{Rainbow|LOLSUIT.COM}}
[[Image:Vram-Win.jpg|thumb|Kai Yat Sai, [[for great justice]].]]
{{clear}}
And what did Maddox do after losing? Perhaps some self reflection as the thick skulled retard realize he's thousands upon thousands of dollars in the hole and the ass end of countless jokes on the internet? ''Why, double down and file ''[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/george-ouzounian-v-asterios-kokkinos-2018.47158/ another] lawsuit, twice as assmad as before!''


==Ballsack Media Network==
While the Chinese [[government]] is surprisingly [[Atheist|non-religious]], those who are [[retarded|religious]] must adhere to one of the [[Yes|state-sanctioned]] [[religion|religions]], such as [[Buddhism]], Taoism, Confucianism, or [[Christianity]] and even they are imprisoned sometimes. Members of [[No|non-sanctioned]] religions such as Falun Gong are [[Party Van|V&]] and sent to [[Jail|correction facilities]], where their vital organs are harvested and [[Profit|sold on the black market]]. Although things are looking to change as religion is now flourishing in china.


[[File:DICK AND BALLSACK.png|900px|thumb|center|Maddox ''sure is'' doing better than Dick!]]
According to [[John Lennon]], [[win|''If you go carrying pictures of Chairman Mao, you ain't gonna make it with anyone anyhow.'']]
[[File:Maddoxloss.jpg|200px|thumb|right|Reminder: if Maddox never invited Jesse, he'd be making sponsorship money right now.]]  


Immediately after ''The Biggest Problem In The Universe'' ended, Maddox had to think of how to capitalize on a cancelled show. His solution? Start a shitty podcast network. With ''zero planning whatsoever''.
The average Chinese is [[over 9000]]% racist. This is mainly directed at [[Blacks]], especially the Negro equivalent of the [[Mexican]], the [[Curry nigger]].. However, in all circumstances this racist rage can boil over and be directed towards anyone, especially other Chinese. This manifests itself in a variety of ways, from being admonished for tipping to throwing yourself in front of cabs otherwise the don't stop for [[Whitey]].


On this network he paid $30,000.00 to get a website for, you can listen to numerous high-quality podcasts, such as:
The average Chinese street is piled with the dead bodies of pedestrians who couldn't look both ways before crossing the street because in China that's how you yield right of way. 'THEY SAW ME. THEY SHOULD HAVE STOPPED.' [[srsly]]. Luckily dem Commies cracked down on [[IRL]] carmageddeon and now you can only hit ONE jaywalker scott free.


* '''The Best Debate in the Universe'''- Outlined above. [[TL;DR]]: you’d be better off listening to BPITU. It’s not only funnier, but you’re not supporting a shill factory of man purses and [[meme]] [[clickbait]] bullshit.
Average Chinese [[children]] spend [[Over_9000|up to 200%]] of their time in sweatshops. They have most likely created your shoes, braces, computers, houses, electronics and food. [[Owned|The average sweatshop laborer receives a maximum of ten grains of rice per day.]] The Chinese think that having a daughter is very unfortunate, which is obviously [[loli|wrong]]. When [[Obama]] went to China to discuss the issues the people were facing, all they could think about was the fact that he had two daughters in a row.


* '''Pod Awful'''- Question: what would happen if the combined power of Rucka Rucka Ali and Maddox was even less funny? You'd get ''Pod Awful'', the worst possible way to kill two hours. This show is only funny if your sense of humor is overblown edgy shit with zero self-awareness. The wittiest thing to come out of host Jesse's mouth is Maddox's [[micropenis]]. ''Pod Awful'' is the most notable show on the network outside of Biggest Temper Tantrum in the Universe. Why? Not because it's funny, that's for sure. [https://images.encyclopediadramatica.rs/8/84/MadcastSaysNigger.mp4 Jesse fucked over Maddox and threw all their sponsorship deals away because he called a mutual friend of Maddox and Dick a nigger] for starting his own podcast, not doing it with Madcast Media, and giving Maddox a cut of his revenue (it's fine though because Maddox's [[tranny|girlfriend]] said [https://twitter.com/M3tal_Jess/status/817283987869552640 she likes when people call her a nigger]). Jesse is his personal slave and [[cumslut]] doing all the dirty work for Maddox, moderating his bullshit and white knighting him under several [[sockpuppet]] accounts. And to make things <s>worse</s> ''better'', [[he_does_it_for_free|he makes zero money]] from neither his show nor his chivalrous deeds of saving Princess Maddox when he gets in a jam. Oh yeah, Jesse also spends his time [https://encyclopediadramatica.rs/index.php?title=Maddox&diff=prev&oldid=1011975 editing this page, because Maddox won't give him his juicy, Armenian, vein-covered dick if he doesn't white knight for every single one of his fuck-ups.]
{{quote|You already have 2 daughters. Will you try for a third? And if it is still a daughter, what would you think about that?|Lzm048 asks [[Obama]] a hard one}}


* '''[[ALL CAPS|'''CRINGE VS. CRINGE!!1!111!!!]]'''- After months and months of e-mails, YouTube comments, [[Reddit]] posts, and [https://men.com Men.com] comments (only the manliest of websites can stream content from Maddox), they finally did it. You spoke, they listened. Maddox gave Jesse P-S, the guy who's responsible for their podcasts not making money, '''''[[SRSLY|ANOTHER FUCKING SHOW]]'''''!! In all seriousness, <i>[[kamikaze|CRINGE VS. CRINGE]]</i> may as well be called <i>Pod Aw-[[Spanish|dos]]: [[Electric Boogaloo]]</i>. The only noteworthy thing about this show is that Asterios Kokkinos, established Dick goon, was a guest for one episode. You would think there'd be some questioning by Dick's fans, but CVC is so trivial in the grand scheme of things that no one noticed in the first place. Just goes to show how little people care about anything Jesse makes.


* '''Game Fart'''- <s>A podcast hosted by some [[unfunny]] [[Britbong]] gamer [[fags]] [[nobody gives a shit]] about. [https://encyclopediadramatica.rs/index.php?title=Maddox&diff=prev&oldid=1011976 It's not just us thinking that, though. It appears Jesse from ''Pod Awful'' actually agrees with us.]</s> [[HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS]]. <i>Game Fart</i> died because no one cared it existed. There are some semi-interesting reasons why this show was greenlit in the first place, however: [https://www.reddit.com/r/TheDickShow/comments/7a1u8c/madcast_media_death_pool_update_game_fart_ended/ Lord Matthew, the head honcho of a team with no other members, '''''was the guy that created the shitty Madcast Media website (the one that Maddox blew 30k on)'''''].
===Food===


== MADDOX GETS CUCKED OUT OF HIS OWN SHOW ON ITUNES AND GIRLFRIEND ==
Many [[American]]s think of [[cock|eggrolls]], General Tsao's (or Tso's, Gau's, Zor's, Chau's) [[chicken fight|chicken]], and chop suey as Chinese food. However, all of this is untrue. "Chicken" is actually made from the stray cats in the alleys of Chinatowns while chop suey is in fact a traditional [[Armenia]]n dish popularized by the band [[System of a Down]].


After losing his lolsuit, his [[herpes|beautiful]] [[nigger|Afican]] American girlfriend left him. While her official reason for leaving Maddox was because he tried (not succedeed, tried) to cheat on her with an annoying cat girl that got thrown out of all Dick Show communities because she was a hideous annoying slag of a hambeast, who he's now let be a moderator for his twitch. Some speculate that it was really due to Maddox's crying while watching other men fuck her was so loud and annoying it was starting to scare away the bulls she's bring over.
To easily sum up most oriental foods, if its incredibly disgusting, rare, or endangered, they will consume it in mass quantities.


What more can Maddox lose? He's lost his [[girlfriend|pet moneky]], his ex gf he is still in love with, 99% of his SadCast media employees, all his money, [[suicide|his sister]], his book sales, any future book deals, and all respect any one had for him. Well Dick decided to take another thing from Maddox... [[lulz|HIS OWN ITUNES FEED FOR HIS PODCAST]].
One must travel to China to find true, authentic Chinese food. Feast on such mouth-watering delicacies as:
* Everything's uterus
* Cat and Dog
* Donkey Curry
* Stinky Tofu (Odor of belly button and foot-ass)
* Beef tripe
* Fried eel
* Really expensive Pizza Hut
* Really sketchy McDonalds
* Starbucks and Kentucky Fried Chicken on every corner
* Tiger penis
* Internal Organs of [[victim complex|Persecuted]] [[fundie|Falun Gong]] followers.
* Swallow bird's nest
* Shark fin
* Chicken gizzards
* The best fake meat for vegetarians (Only at temples)
* Marinated squid and jellyfish [[tentacle rape|tentacles]]
* Roast pigeon
* Dog soup
*<s>[http://www.ispub.com/ostia/index.php?xmlFilePath=journals/ijto/vol2n1/eggs.xml Artificially made eggs]</s> Broke ass link
* [http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/07/12/health/main3049080.shtml Cardboard buns]


Dick wasn't ready for the fun of laughing at Maddox to end and all Maddox wanted to do now was cry in his cuck shed alone and pretend he never was such a retard. So to spice things up after Maddox released his nuclear option that blew up in his own face, Dick decided on Episode 113 of <s>Biggest Problem in the 2niverse: The search for more money and less Dick</s> Best Debate in Universe to give Maddox, just the Tip of what is looking to be [[lulzy]] future series of dickings Maddox's anus was never prepared for:
The Chinese, enamored to the magical delicacy of American invented [[Slurpee]]s, have allowed Western convenience stores to infiltrate the shit hole province of Guangzhou and it's Specially Economical Zone of Shenzhen. [[Last Thursday]], thousands of [[7-11]]s sprouted up in all sizes from kiosk to full size store.


<big>[https://soundcloud.com/user-663667932/113-should-certain-animals-be-extinct-ali-spagnola-ron-babcock-taylor-nikolai-maddox-crows '''DICK HAS HAD SOLE OWNERSHIP OF THE ORIGINAL STOLEN BIGGEST PROBLEM IN THE UNIVERSE ITUNES FEED THIS WHOLE TIME AND WAS ALLOWING MADDOX TO USE IT. HE DECIDED TO INFORM MADDOX OF THIS FACT BY SPLICING IN AN AD FOR HIS SHOW AT THE BEGINNING OF EPISODE 113 AS WELL AS A QUICK RUNDOWN OF WHAT HAPPENED FOR ALL THE BIGGEST PROBLEM FANS WHO WONDERED WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED AND WHY IS THIS GAY FAGGY PODCAST SHOWING UP INSTEAD'''].</big>
===Strange Chinese Dishes===


<center>{{frame|<youtube>pTSsP5CM2mc</youtube>
Some Chinese eat Baby Soup which contains a deceased human fetus and costs about $4000. Chinese eat Baby Soup to increase overall health, stamina and the power of sexual performance.
<center>'''Skip to 4:02 to hear the message and the explanation from the fucking madlad himself'''</center>|border=black|background=#ff8000}}</center>


To further [[troll|help]] Maddox, Dick decided to send his listeners to Maddox's $30,000 website and use his voting system to vote on what new podcast would be allowed on the C.U.N.T network. This caused Maddox to go into a full on autistic rage as he takes voting on his websites super seriously. First attempting to cry to apple to get his iTunes feed that actually has subscribers back. Then getting butthurt and tampering with his own voting to fuck with Dick. To going into such a delusional world of denial he is refusing to address the sickest burn that could possibly happen to Maddox, he is trying to [https://archive.fo/11TbX pass off the increase bump in web traffic as legit traffic to his shit shows website].
===Medicine===
Chinese medicine is based around the notion of Chi, which is complete bullshit on the order of the four humours of ancient Greek medicine. Simply wrong. Although they have some rudimentary knowledge of anatomy, it's garbled by the fact that the sole concern of Chinese medicine is the smallness of Chinese penises. For instance, Chinese medicine is certain that the kidneys have something to do with sex. This is what is going on when the Chinese doctor or apothecary suggests something to "strengthen the kidney". They are not talking about urinary function.


However, internet Lawsplainer Nick Rekieta explained what the funniest part of all this is (beyond just the lulz of Dick fucking with the feed and using it to shit on Maddox), because Dick was the owner and allowed Maddox to pull his bullshit for over 2 year, Dick can legally and rightfully bill Maddox for all the time he allowed Maddox to use his iTunes feed to upload a shitty podcast.  
With the exception of acupuncture and hanging weights off your cock, Chinese medicine consists of eating, drinking, or probably snorting anything even vaguely penis-shaped or somehow related to penises in the hopes of getting a boner. Tigers are being driven extinct by the market for tiger-penis soup. Rhinoceroses are being driven extinct by the market for powdered rhino horn. Priceless dinosaur fossils are ground to powder and sold as "dragon bone". And it's all because the Chinese can't get it up, and when they do it's disappointing.


<center><youtube>utTVGln1Uws</youtube></center> <center>'''A full TL;DR break down of how Maddox got cucked out of his own iTunes feed'''</center>
===DERRICK UH SHEE===
Chinks eat fucking everything as a delicacy. Especially human dong. The ancient Chinese proverb "Ching chong ding dong" from the Hai Chang roughly translates to "Dirty Chinaman chew this penis." Other scholars translate "chong" as "chomp" or "chow down." In fact, the term "chow down" comes from the traditional Chinese garbage soup Chao Daon. Every animal penis and every animal part is used as "medicine" in China. '''EVERY SINGLE FUCKING ONE'''. The Chinese alone keep every poacher in business worldwide. Shark fin. Rhino horn. Tiger balls. Zebra penis. Kangaroo pouch. Platypus nostrils. Orangutan fingernails. Panda liver. Porcupine lymph nodes. Elephant thyroid. Musk ox pancreas. Lion ovaries. Cheetah tear ducts. Slug semen. Electric eel stomach. Jellyfish testicles. THE CHINESE WANT TO EAT IT. NO EXCEPTIONS. The most popular menus in China are the Endangered Species Act and the IUCN Red List of Threatened Species. Melamine is another delicacy in China and they always use it in place of wheat, rice, corn, soy, milk, and baby formula. Make kidney strong like bull!


Dick still owns the iTunes feed because Apple is not going to disregard property law to appease a crying bald faggot who talked shit about them for years, and has said when it comes to his ways to fuck with Maddox, this isn't even his final form.
The world's largest penis museum was required by a UN treaty to be set in Reykjavík, Iceland simply to prevent the Chinese from consuming the museum's entire collection. Every museum worker at the Icelandic Phallological Museum quakes in fear when they see Chinese tourists approaching. Most museums have signs like "Do not touch" or "No leaning on the glass", but due to the Chinese, the Iceland penis museum has had to put up multiple "Do not eat" signs written in multiple variants of Chinese: Mandarin, Wu, Yue, Min, Jin, Huayu, Shanghainese, Huizhou, Gan, Xiang, Amoy, Teochew, Zhuyin fuhao, Pinyin, Xiao'erjing, Dungan, Zhongwen, Chingchong, Pingpong, Fengwang, Hoju, Heihachi, Gon, Lo Wang, etc. As a result, the Icelandic Phallological Museum has become one of the world's foremost experts on the Chinese language simply as a means of survival and continuity of operations. Plaques with pictograms meaning "do not eat penis" have also been permanently affixed in the museum. Some very rare penises are kept in a fortified basement vault with armed guards. The Iceland penis museum has considered banning all Chinese visitors, but since gooks are their major source of ticket revenue it's a catch-22. The Icelandic military's sole mission is to protect their national penis museum from Chinese tourists.


== Slimegate ==
There have been multiple extinction events in the history of life on Earth, but none has been as devastating as The Chinese. China is currently Zerg rushing all land and sea animals and bioconverting them into slanteyes. For the Chinese, seeing any eyeball on another living thing that isn't constantly squinting is deeply offensive and drives their murderousness. Quite often, the Chinese instinct to violently kill everything with eyes is expressed as elementary school knife massacres, subway gas attacks, [[Virginia Tech Massacre|VTEC]], and [[Elliot Rodger|supreme gentlemen]]. Chink on chink crime can be explained by overpopulation, hunger, and self-hatred due to the medical condition Guangdong Min Dong, Latin for "Grown Man Have Baby Penis."
[[File:Maddoxbed.jpg|thumb|right|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OUHj3piO0yM Smile]]]
As mentioned before, Maddox lives in a pigsty of an apartment, and it's quite a stretch to imagine he'd ever get laid. It turns out that a certain more recent image of his actual bedroom made its way onto the internet, either through Maddox himself or from a foreclosure property website (for some reason). Naturally, the first thing you notice is the slime from the Monster Hunter series as a bedspread. Then you realise (to your horror) that Maddox fucked 80's girl in this room.


Try to unpack that for a moment reader: George Cuckman HAD SEX with at least one other human being '''ON THIS BED!'''
If you're ever walking on a beach and see some monstrous horror washed up, it is always true to say "That's a delicacy in China." If you're hitchhiking along an interstate and see two dead animals violently fused together by tires, it is always true to say "That's a delicacy in China." If you visit an abortion clinic and open a biohazard bin, it is always true to say "That's a delicacy in China." If you've ever seen a picture on the Internet of eyeball soup, it came from China. Placenta lasagna? Made in China. Fetus stew? Made in China. Penis dumplings? Made in China. Spaghetti and testicles? Made in China. THIS IS NOT A FUCKING JOKE. This no game Daniel-san, this for real.


But yeah, for whatever reason his apartment was listed on [some foreclosure website http://www.themls.com]. There were other pictures that made it onto the listing in particular that confirmed that this was indeed the cuck lair.
===Morality===
Morality in China is no different from other godless ex-commie countries (like [[Russia]]). They run over their children first with a truck to soften the meat before consuming them.  


<center><gallery>
'''Confucius says:''' If child is dying in agony, keep walking.
File:Cuckshed1.jpg
File:Cuckshed2.jpg
File:Cuckshed3.jpg
</gallery></center>


This caused quite a lot of [[lulz]] among Maddox's hatebase, and we have a small collection memes to share with you.
===Sports===
[[Image:POTN_China_Swimmers.jpg|right|thumb|Not sure if swimming or [[North Korea|Arirang Festival]].]]
The Chinese are notoriously great at martial arts, ping pong, gymnastics, figure skating, diving, synchronized diving, synchronized marching, rikshaw pulling, Qui-Gon Jinn, stuntmen and putting people before firing squads. However, their prowess in Western [[sports]] is [[Basketball|limited to the freakishly tall Yao Ming.]] The Chinese especially seem to excel at sports when the event is held in china with Chinese judges where they seem to become world champions with a history of winning consecutively. A more obvious reason behind this is the presence of a large number of Chinese labs experimenting in mixing chemical meths with steroids.


<center>{{frame|{{cg|The Best Slime In The Universe™ ٭ ٭ ٭|crazies|center|<gallery perrow="5">
===Language===
File:Madslime1.jpg|Don't scream
The entire Chinese language consists of two syllables: ''[[Rosie O'Donnell|cheech]]'' and ''[[Rosie O'Donnell|chong]]''. Linguistic scholars<sup title="The text in the vicinity of this tag needs no citation." class="noprint">&#91;[[Citation_needed|''citation&nbsp;not&nbsp;needed'']]&#93;</sup> believe this to be the origin of the term "[[Azn|Ching Chong Chinaman]]." Even to a [[Cunnilingus|cunning linguist]] who sees differences with types of words, even with the approximately five different tone inflections, there still is an irritatingly huge number of homophones. Fortunately, lulz can be harvested; the symbol for slave [[pimp|looks like the symbol of a woman near the symbol of a right hand]], and the literal translation for their name of Africa, fei zhou, is "wrong continent". Not necessarily ugly, but the Chinese language generally sounds like cats trying to imitate a drum set.
File:Maddox has a new twitch character.jpg|Maddox's new [[twitch]] emote
File:Madslime2.jpg|Smile, now with bulge!
File:Madslime3.jpg|[[Minecraft|You can't sleep, monsters are nearby]]
File:Madslimespooky.jpg|What she sees in Maddox's bedroom
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Madslime4.jpg
File:Madslime5.jpg|Fuck it, we doin it on da metal slime bed tonite.
File:Madslime6.jpg|Anon asks for dating advice
File:Madslimeohgodno.png
</gallery>|}}|border=black|background=#3399ff}}</center>


== You and Maddox’s future ==
The most useful Chinese words are 不要 ( buyao / búyào ) Roughly pronounced boo-yow with a falling inflection it means "[[DO NOT WANT]]" ([[srsly]]) and is used by yelling it at the [[Assholes|Chinese]] trying to electrocute you in the subway/ take your picture/ sell you crap/ selling sex from weird massage parlors/ begging for money/ asking if you're a wrestler/ being racist at you. More useful words are 出口 (Chūkǒu) pronounced chew-kow and means "Exit." This can be used to your advantage as most exits anywhere in China or china-adjacent are brightly marked with Coat Rack/T.V. for speedy escape from thundering hordes of Chinese bent on taking everything nice from you while rejecting such foreign concepts such as "lining up" or "personal space".
<center>{{frame|<youtube>OBUO_k4xDkI</youtube>
<center>'''Maddox's crying session with some midget.'''</center>|border=black|background=#ff8000}}</center>
The Chinese language does not have tenses in it, which is why all the food is raw. It's impossible to asked for "cooked" meat - meat that was being cooked in the recent past but is now no longer being cooked. It's also impossible to ask for "boiled water" - water which has been boiled but is now no longer hot. In Chinese, the water either is or is not boiling. This is why bottled water - "water in a bottle" - is the only way to get safe drinking water and is responsible for a great deal of waste.


A couple days ago, Maddox cried in Twitch debater and incest lover [[Destiny]]’s shoulder like the [[victim]] he is. [https://twitter.com/wauterboi/status/868528505322995712 Of course, he <s>fails</s> “forgets” to mention how much of a crybully he is]. Maddox’s bar for what passes as harassment is so low, even [[Anita Sarkeesian]] would tell him to grow some balls.
On the other hand, people who natively speak languages like this routinely make better long-term decisions than those who speak languages with tenses. It seems there us an up-side to not being able to put worries off until tomorrow.


So, with that and everything else in this article in mind, what does all of it mean? Maddox is [[an hero]] waiting to happen. But he can’t build up the [[balls|courage]] to kill himself alone, [http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=manly_suicide even though he should have taken his own advice from a long time ago]. He needs your help. How can [[you]], an e-urchin, help our dear friend Maddox become an hero? '''Here are some essential tips and tricks:'''
<center>{{frame|{{fv|Chinkmusic|background-color:#B8B8B8;|font-weight:bold;|
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'''Chinese child musicians who did not practice enough and therefore [[fail|failed]] their parents and dishonored their ancestors.'''|
<youtube>0xnyEyLJSIo</youtube>
'''What your average [[Mongoloid|Mongolian]] thinks of the Chinese'''|
}}|border=#B8B8B8|background=#B8B8B8}}</center>


[[File:How The Fuck Is Cyber Bullying Real.png|Right|thumb|Maddox should heed [[OFWGKTA|Tyler, The Creator]]’s words of everlasting wisdom.]]
<!-- BALEETED
<youtube>dwaEF_QPYQE</youtube><br>|
-->


*[https://www.twitch.tv/realmaddox Visit Maddox's Twitch stream] with a troll name. This’ll remind him how much of a failure he is.
===List of Chinese Pastimes===
*Ask him if [[erectile dysfunction|he has trouble getting it up]].
[[File:Chinese Panda Dog.jpg|thumb|[[Sparkledogs|Painted dogs]]: so much easier than saving the [[Panda]].]]
*Ask him if his girlfriend’s [[herpes|pussy is looking a bit spotty]].
[[Image:From_nikonfans.jpg|thumb|Picture from a typical Chinese website, advertising for a restaurant.]]
*Ask him if his girlfriend [[tranny|even <i>has</i> a pussy]].
[[Image:Abortionlol.gif|thumb|Japanese soldier solving overpopulation.]]
*Ask him if he would go [[gay]] if [[faggot|a man got his micropenis hard]].
*[http://thedickshow.com/episode-55/ Ask him why his girlfriend has a restraining order against some bitch named “80’s Girl”].
*Ask him how many copies F*ck Whales has sold.
*Ask him why the only thing he sponsors is his book.
*Ask him why that cool leather store’s website redirects to the merch store of some guy named “Dick”. 
*Ask him why his audio is so shitty and where Sean went.
*Ask him if it was his fault his sister killed herself.
*Ask him why he’s always losing followers.
*Call him a [[cuck]].
*Call him an [[SJW]].
*Disagree with him.
*Ask him about how much Patreon money he’s making.
*Ask him why his new, awesome show has the same [[iTunes]] feed as the old show.
*Tell him that you work a minimum wage job and still make more money than him.
*[http://files.ilj.io/files/what_i_owe.txt Quote] [http://files.ilj.io/files/the_disgusting_thing_asterios_did.txt anything] from the [http://files.ilj.io/files/make_rage_not_war.txt #WAUT3RGATE leaks].


==Maddox doesn’t like this article==
* Pretending to give two shits about the environment
* Attempting to piss off [[Americans]] (but failing at it)
* Playing "which button makes the nuke explode?" (for nobles only)
* Opening Chinese restaurants
* [[Kung fu]]
* Exporting Chinese whores to spread disease in other countries and regions like North America, Western Europe, Russia, Israel and Japan
* Speaking [[Engrish]]
* Playing '[[Where's Waldo?]]: China', which is far more difficult than other versions because all chinese people look the same
* Making [[McDonald's]] Happy Meal toys
* Working at the local [[Wal-Mart]]
* Manufacturing [[SARS]] (and possibly other deadly diseases for export to the rest of the world)
* Stealing American and European [[job]]s through outsourced [[slave]] labor.
* Chinese fire drills
* Traveling overseas as tourists to Europe, Canada, Australia and America and pissing off the locals.
* Killing and eating babies.
* Violating quarantine laws in other countries by smuggling items like dead cat heads or diseased plants through the border.
* Smuggling heroin to other countries.
* Sticking it to the [[White]] [[The Man|Man]]
* Playing ping pong
* [[World of Warcraft|Farming Gold]]
* Spitting on sidewalks
* Picking their flat noses.
* Scaring America with [[communism]] and failing at it!
* Scaring America with [[capitalism]] with massive success
* Engineering man-made viruses such as SARS and the Avian Flu in hopes of thinning out their population by 75%.
* [[win|Executing people for simply having any kind of religious faith which is considered a "threat to national security"]]
* Executing political prisoners and then charging the deceased's families for the cost of the bullets
* [[Death penalty|Executing people in general]]
* [[Pwn|Running people over with tanks]]
* Having the filthiest and most polluted environment in the world
* Having filthy living standards
* Bragging about their massive arsenal but most of their weapons are faulty and used for propaganda purposes
* Framing Tibetan monks for "bomb plots" and then promptly executing them
* [[Awesome|Holding the record for THE most murderous regime in all of human history, having murdered over 250,000,000 people]]
* Murdering people who claim to have cured [[cancer]]
* Kidnapping and [[Murder|murdering]] people to harvest their organs
* Having [[Capitalism|no safety and sanitation laws]]
*[[Romance of the Three Kingdoms|Being a true hero of the Three Kingdoms!]]
* Telling stories around the labor-campfire


Maddox, even though his first one was cucked by Asterios, decided to make a second bonus album. The concept of this album is a spicy one: Maddox reacts to ''this article'' by having Rucka and Jesse read it to him verbatim. This could’ve been funny, but then again, this is Maddox we’re talking about. We at [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] refuse to support Maddox in any way, so all we can do is go off from people okay with giving the cuck money. Here’s the scoop:
===[[I accidentally X|Accidents]]===


*Maddox responds to everything in this article by yelling [[bullshit|profanities]].
[[Image:Chines.jpg|thumb|right|Me so horrny! Me ruvv you rong time!.]]
*As this episode goes on, Rucka sounds increasingly more frustrated with Maddox and his autism.  
[[Image:Fetus_soup_2.jpg|thumb|right|Chinese eat human fetus to "increase" their sexual performance.]]
*Eventually, Rucka tells Maddox what Dick’s tried to tell him this whole time: that he used to be one of the top online badasses, but now he’s a total cuck.
*Maddox pretends to be in on all the jokes saying he should work for [[NPR]].


Unlike Maddox’s first album, he wasn't able to pull off his “chop up my podcast into tracks and pretend they’re bits and that this is a comedy album and not leftover garbage” bullshit. As it turns out, no one buys comedy albums.  
According to a [[shit nobody cares about|report]] [[over 9000|at least 100,000,000]] Chinese died in accidents in 2007, this is a dramatic 10% drop from the previous year. Some officials cite less hazards in the workplace such as two inspections per year rather than just one, a [[doing it wrong|gun]] to encourage factory workers to do it right, and signs that replace 'do <s>not</s> touch this' with images of [[buttsecks|smiley communist pandas describing what can happen with images of a mangled worker]].<br /><br />


This article is also named in the lolsuit as one of the many reasons he’s [[Almost raped|entitled to]] <s>$20 million</s> <s>$380 million</s> every United States treasury note in existence. '''While the prospect of a ''satirical'' writer suing someone for contributing to a ''satirical'' article seems like a work of ''satire'', this is a legally documented [[fact]].'''
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Madcucks [https://play.google.com/store/music/album/Madcucks_Madcucks_Vs_Existence_2?id=Bykfgs6rysaz6dahxmyx4cn4c3u parodied this album], reading the current version of this article that covers his cuckoldry, the lolsuit, Maddox’s [[failure]] of a podcast network, and more. This hit #1 on both [[iTunes]] and [[Jewgle]] Oy Play’s comedy album charts. Then, Madcucks [https://play.google.com/store/music/album/Madcucks_Madcucks_Vs_Existence_3?id=Bcfown3rfd5zorzcoguho46yj2m released a third bonus album] to make fun of how Maddox <s>never made the third bonus album he promised he would make to all five people who bought his cuckold content currency</s> made a third bonus album (which Sç̱͈͓͔̬̠̞z̴̙̖̥͕̪ḩ̖̣̣̙̱̬̘ṳ͈̈a͎̣̙̟̳̱̞n͇̹, Dick’s audio engineer, has confirmed does exists), but never released it.
==U.S.-China Relations==
The Chinese word for [[America]] is 美國, pronounced meiguo, a transliteration which means literally "beautiful country". This would seem to be overtly flattering; however, the first character 美 (mei), though it does mean beautiful, is a vertical combination of the characters 大 (da) and 羊 (yang), meaning, respectively, "large" and "sheep".


== The Museum of Maddox (MOM) (alternatively titled The Best Museum in the Universe) ==
The contrast between the conspicuous "beautiful" and the subtler "big sheep" contains a hidden truth and tells you everything you need to know about China's [[Rich_and_beautiful|public]] versus [[Dumbass|private]] opinions of [[Americunts|America and Americans]]. Rightly so. It is also well known China is slowly taking over the world. Most Experts suggest that they will make their move when America collapses, some think it is when they finally figure out how to open their eyes.
[[File:Kekistan-flag-maddox-carl-benjamin.jpg|thumb|right|Shadilay Mad Cuckman!]]
[[Last_thursday|One day,]] [http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/avkcv/i_am_maddox_ama Maddox reached out to all the arrogant nerds on Reddit because his fanbase forgot about him].  Redditors [[cum|came]] all over the post, asking him questions he's answered numerous times before. You know, the expected behaviour from [[Reddit]] users. Why is this post important? [https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/avkcv/i_am_maddox_ama/c0jm6wd/ Maddox harps on "quality" as an excuse for not updating his site or shitting out another book] (not that this has ever stopped him before). He also points out that he cares about what his name's tied to, which is why he took a picture right next to the fucking [[Kekistan]] flag not 10 feet away from [[Sargon_of_Akkad|Carl Fucking Benjamin]] of all things.


Yes, he cares so much about his name, [[Lies|THAT HE DOES EVERYTHING POSSIBLE TO MAKE SURE HIS NAME IS NOT RUN THROUGH THE MUD, THAT PEOPLE REVERE HIM WITH GENUINE PRIDE, AND THAT HE DOESN'T SELL OUT BY PUTTING HIS BRAND ON DOGSHIT PRODUCTS.]]


<big>'''SPOILER: HE CARES AS MUCH ABOUT HIS IMAGE AS KRUSTY THE CLOWN FROM THE SIMPSONS!'''</big>
[[Image:OlympicLesbianAssFingering.jpg|thumb|400px|center|American Ali Bernard [[asking for it|getting raped in the ass]] by Chinese Wang Jiao.Typical Chink unsportsmanlike behavior.]]


To show how much he cares about the legendary Maddox and tHe bEsT WhAtEvEr tHe fUcK In tHe uNiVeRsE™ brand, here's a gallery of high quality Maddox content that has been made over the years! This is content made by fans, by himself, and the content he has his brand and face attached to. Oh, and Georgie-poo? [[Never forget]] [[Anonymous|We're fans too. :)]]
==How to Troll the Chinese==
{{clear}}
<center>{{frame|{{cg|OVERFLOWING AMOUNTS OF QUALITY|crazies|center|<gallery perrow="7">
File:MaddoxlossCAD.jpg|Maddox [[CTRL_ALT_Delete#CADbortion_Comic_Shops|Loss]]
File:Predator3cosplay.jpg|Can you guess what he's cosplaying as?
File:MADDOXNailed it.jpg|NAILED IT!!!
File:tekkaman_comp4.jpg|The attention to detail is amazing!
File:Tekkaman comp3.jpg|I can't tell who’s who!
File:Tekkaman comp5.jpg|When <s>autism</s> '''''HIGH QUALITY''''' goes too far.
File:Cuckshirt.jpg|With design quality like that, it's no wonder this shirt is so popular!
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="7">
File:Trigg.png|Awesome shirt!! It's like Maddox took the [https://youtu.be/I--LtuTA7K8 sketch from John Oliver] and made it more <s>autistic</s> <i><b>BADASS, HILARIOUS, AND HIGH QUALITY</b></i>. Peek the yellow highlights for [[lulz]].  File:Maddox3dmodel.jpg|Watch out, world: Maddox is a master CGI modeler!
File:Maddoxredcarpet.png|Look at what a snappy dresser this dapper chap is!
File:MaddoxhotTwitter.png|Look at the effort he puts into managing the MADDOX™ brand on his [[Twitter]]!!
File:Sonicblendermaddox.png|Wow, he can make models of [[Sonic]], too?
File:Twitterlockout.png|Look at how Maddox’s haters roll off his back as he handles criticism and trolling like a [[pro]]!
File:Maddoxrapejoke.png|Maddox spent years thinking up the funniest jokes!
File:Twitterlockout2.png|Don't let anyone tell you that you’re lazy, Maddox!
File:Twitterlockout3.png|Don't even give haters the time of day, Maddox! Everyone loves you. You make such high quality content that people who don’t like you are irrelevant!
File:Newmaterialmaddox.png|Keep on making high quality drawings and writing original and new material, Maddox!
File:Maddoxatthestreamy.jpg|The cuck found a jacket even smaller than he is!
File::Irlmaddox.jpg|Maddox IRL. Photoshop and post video editing help a lot.
File:Maddoxprocuck.jpg|Vice magazine huh? Hmm, checks out...
File:Maddoxwojak.png|[[Wojak]] meme
File:Maddoxvape.jpg|[[Vaping|Disgusting]]
File:Maddox_mtg.jpg|[[Magic_The_Gathering|Shit card]]
File:Maddoxcon.jpg|Now THAT'S the kind of engagement I'd expect to see from a NYT best selling author going to [[Comic-Con]]
File:Maddoxncfoc.jpg|Coming to a Twitch channel near you...
File:Maddox-deleting-comments.jpg|Oh grow up you fucking crybaby.
File:Maddox-advice.jpg|Even the [[Advice Dog]] meme is funnier than you.
File:Maddoxs-anti-fans.jpg|Maddox's anti-fan-base steals the show every time
File:Maddox-bike.jpg|WHAT'S UP?
File:Maddox-lolcow-milking.png|Dick hard at work on roasting Maddox
File:Idcuckme.jpg|''ACTUAL IRL JOURNALIST HEATHER S. READY TO CHECK "HER" E-MAIL TO DISTRACT "HERSELF" FROM THE SOUND OF [[nigger|TYRONE]] FUCKING "HER" GIRLFRIEND.''
File:Im being impersonated by a gross armenian.jpg|Anon does 4D chess with the cucklet
File:Madcast-hacked.jpg|Madcast Media Network gets an improvement
File:Maddox-comments.jpg|Maddox bitching at his 'fans' when they have the gall to ask for comments sections
File:I am the content.jpg|Maddox is the content
File:Maddox the gamblers motto.png|Why isn't this an official [[Nike]] promo?
File:Maddox fun today.png|Maddox is having fun
File:Maddox trollin.png|Oooooof!
File:Maddox-cucked-gottem.jpg|GOTTEM!
File:Maddox solves all his troubles circa 2018.jpg|Maddox solves all his troubles c.2018 (colorized)
File:Maddox-censorship.png|[[You|We know one person in particular who REALLY LOVES censorship!]]
File:Los angeles not even once.jpg
File:cameron_vs_maddox.jpg
File:Dickvsmaddox-podcaststats.jpg|Yet another comparison of the numbers
File:Merry-christmas-maddox.jpg|Merry Cucksmas!
File:Maddox-wedding-taxi.jpg|More strange Maddox tranny shit
File:Maddox-ironing.png|Oh, the ironing
File:Callingthepolice.jpg
File:Maddox-lawsuit-madlox.jpg
File:Maddox-bagdhad-box.jpg|Maddox's cosplay at Vidcon this year as Bagdhad Bob really nailed it
File:Maddox-change-my-mind.jpg
File:Kiss-me-im-a-writer-maddox.jpg|You're not [[Ireland|Irish]], you're [[Armenia|Armenian]]
File:Maddox-hats.jpg
File:Maddox_perjury.jpg
File:Maddox_harambe.jpg|The only tragic thing about this is [[Harambe|they would only kill the good gorillas who did nothing wrong]]
File:Maddox-got-mad.jpg|The equivilent of an unfunny stand-up comedian removing a heckler who roasted and upstaged him
File:Maddoxgrinch.jpg|Then he got an idea. An awful idea. The cuck got a wonderful, ''awful'' idea!
File:Maddoxconstrategy.jpg|Imagine being so pathetic and unpopular that you have to bribe fans to come to your booth at ComicCon with free food! WHAT?
File:Maddoxcuckcuckcuck.jpg|George clearly doesn't read his own shit
File:Maddoxfart.png|[[Fart|Classy...]]
File:Coolestwebsite.png|How Maddox's site would look if he was only 10% honest
File:Maddox im calling the police.jpg|''I'm calling the police'' is a bit of a big meme on r/TheDickShow btw
File:Maddox-lawsuit-old-maddox.jpg|Old Maddox's response to the lawsuit
File:Madcuckriddler.png|Maddox somehow looks less [[gay]] when posing as The Riddler
File:Cuckhunt.jpg|Use a real gun though
File:Maddox-bike-2.jpg|Maddox's antics against Dick in a nutshell
File:Spaghettitimemaddox.jpg|What a fucking [[incel]]
File:Maddox-endgame.png
File:Maddox-endgame-2.jpg|I don't feel so good anon
File:Imcallingthepolice-maddox.jpg
File:Madlet.png
</gallery>
|}}|border=black|background=#ff8000}}</center>


* Point out the many, many times the Great Wall failed them.
* Mention the period of Mongolian foreign rule
* Tell them the Manchu ran their country better than they ever did
* Predict that India will surpass them
* Claim that Western and Japanese corporations will sue their economy into oblivion.
* Support Tibetan freedom
* Support Uighur separatism
* Support Hong Kong democracy
* Support Taiwan
* Yell "TAIWAN NUMBA WAN!"
* Buy Taiwanese goods.
* Tell them that Taiwan is, in fact, a country.
* Tell them [[Lmao Zedong|Mao]] killed more people by accident than [[Adolf Hitler|Hitler]] and [[Rainbow Stalin|Stalin]] could on purpose.
* Tell them [[North Korea]] will betray them sooner or later.
* Claim that another Century of Humiliation is coming.
* Make fun of their attempts at hegemony.
* Make fun of their military
* Say they'll never get control of the Easter and South China Sea
* Tell them Japan will recover and outdo them.
* Tell them Confucius was full of shit.
* Ask them why Sun Tzu couldn't be bothered to write more.
* Remind them [[America|who]] saved their tiny asses in [[World War 2]]
* Diss communism
* Send them this:
{{quote|"动态网自由门 天安門 天安门 法輪功 李洪志 Free Tibet 六四天安門事件 The Tiananmen Square protests of 1989 天安門大屠殺 The Tiananmen Square Massacre 反右派鬥爭 The Anti-Rightist Struggle 大躍進政策 The Great Leap Forward 文化大革命 The Great Proletarian Cultural Revolution 人權 Human Rights 民運 Democratization 自由 Freedom 獨立 Independence 多黨制 Multi-party system 台灣 臺灣 Taiwan Formosa 中華民國 Republic of China 西藏 土伯特 唐古特 Tibet 達賴喇嘛 Dalai Lama 法輪功 Falun Dafa 新疆維吾爾自治區 The Xinjiang Uyghur Autonomous Region 諾貝爾和平獎 Nobel Peace Prize 劉暁波 Liu Xiaobo 民主 言論 思想 反共 反革命 抗議 運動 騷亂 暴亂 騷擾 擾亂 抗暴 平反 維權 示威游行 李洪志 法輪大法 大法弟子 強制斷種 強制堕胎 民族淨化 人體實驗 肅清 胡耀邦 趙紫陽 魏京生 王丹 還政於民 和平演變 激流中國 北京之春 大紀元時報 九評論共産黨 獨裁 專制 壓制 統一 監視 鎮壓 迫害 侵略 掠奪 破壞 拷問 屠殺 活摘器官 誘拐 買賣人口 遊進 走私 毒品 賣淫 春畫 賭博 六合彩 天安門 天安门 法輪功 李洪志 Free Tibet 劉曉波动态网自由门}}
This will instantly boot them from whatever platform you sent it to them through it and will get them sent to a Maoist gulag [[IRL]] where [[Bubba|Bubba Bing Dong]] will stuff them full of [[Cock|chopsticks]]


<center>
==Actually other Asian countries hates china==
{{frame|{{videoframe|BOTDFvids|font-weight: bold;|
In fact, other Asian countries also hate China. Chinese bastards are ruining the image of Asians. In particular, [[good Korea]], [[Japan]], [[Taiwan]], [[Hong Kong]], [[Singapore]], and Vietnam]] are the most hated for China. They all want to [[massacre]] the Chinese
|<youtube>x95YRIV_Q9o</youtube> Look at how delicious Maddox’s hot sauce is. Clearly Maddox won't slap his valuable, consumer-friendly brand on just anything!
|<youtube>Qz7LfPpcRck</youtube> '''''LOOK OUT WORLD: MADDOX IS A GREAT ACTOR TOO! IT'S A WONDER HOW HE DIDN’T GET A T.V. SHOW!'''''
|}}|border=black|background=#ff8000}}
</center>


==Fun facts==  
==Gallery==
[[Image:Maddoxthaitranny.jpg|thumb|250px|[[At least 100 years ago|Hair-era Maddox]] banged [[IRL]] [[Thai]] [[trannies|dickgirls]] [http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=thailand Here’s the proof].]]
[[File:Maddox-the-best-jew-in-the-universe.jpg|202px|frameless|left]]
*Maddox thinks [[Something Awful]] is a shitty site. No argument there.
*Maddox is a [[cuck]]. He argues that he’s [[polyamorous]], that he can rail other [[pussy|snatch]] while his “girlfriends” fuck other men. Who has such low self-esteem to let Maddox fuck them?
*Maddox's sister became [[an hero]] because she couldn't live being related to Maddox.
*[[fact|Maddox has erectile dysfunction]]. "Allegedly".
*Maddox, attempting to come out as gay, admitted he likes [[FF7]]. [http://maddox.xmission.com/games.html Here’s the proof.]
*Maddox admits to being a fan of teh [[cawk]]. That means he's gay. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dp-5c3rG2JE#t=00m35s Here’s the proof].
*Maddox likes [[buttsecks]] with [[pedophile|young boys]]. That means he's gay. [http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=april_fools04 Here’s the proof].
*Maddox was interviewed by [[B3ta]], proving their faggotry.
*Maddox is [[Armenians|Armenian]], making him a [[terrorist]].
*Maddox not only loves [[Pantera]], but he loves their early history as a [[fag|glam band]].
*Maddox's frontpage links to [[Ebaumsworld]], [[College Humor|CollegeHumor]], and [[CTRL ALT Delete|Ctrl+Alt+Del]]. No further comment needed.
*Maddox is not only gay, but he’s also a homosexual, making him a FAG².
*Maddox is probably [[Jewish]]. It would explain a lot.


== In a Nutshell... ==
{{cg|Gallery|chinaGallery|center|<gallery>
[[File:Unravel.png|800px|center]]
Image:Chinaiswin.jpg|"Foorish imperiarists. China wins this round."
Image:WasntChicken.jpg|An all-too-common experience.
Image:MAN FUK.jpg|Typical Chinese taxi driver. [[Rape]] is imminent.
Image:Doge dies.gif|China kills [[Doge]]
</gallery>|<gallery>
Image:madpwnt.gif|Foothurt
Image:Everyformrape.jpg|It comes in different flavors!
Image:Translateservererror.jpg|Chinese trying to put up a sign in [[Engrish|English]].
Image:Pedo_only9.jpg|Even [[Pedobear]] put in an application.
Image:Edison-chen-cecelia-cheung-gillian-chung-02a.jpg|Chinaman [[Edison Chen]] getting his dick licked before having it chopped off. Notice Pedobear is present.
Image:Death_Train.JPG|The Chinese have trains now.
Image:All_look_same.jpg|The Chinese Council disapprove of your shenanigans. You better believe that'll result in a lower social credit score
Image:Edison-chen-09.jpg|Chinaman [[Edison Chen]] eating cunt, once his dick was removed by Gillian's teeth.
Image:Azian.jpg|Typical Chinese Beauty.
Image:Penis.jpg|Traditional Chinese toothbrush
Image:popstation.JPEG|China's amazing [[Fail|originality]].
File:Big shit.jpg
Image:ChineseSOB.png|Those Chinese sons of a bitches are going down.
Image:Forbid.jpg|Shut up.
Image:ChinasRedArmyFly2.jpg|Great Firewall of China...more like great faggotwall, amirite?
Image:TankManHacker.jpg|China's hackers on steroids can block tanks. Who knew?
Image:Gungagalunga.jpg|Even drunken louts can share in the wisdom of the Dali Lama.
Image:Soup_3.jpg|China is full of sick fucks.
Image:Chinese_fetus.jpg|China's so called "beautiful" culture.
Image:Chinese_execution.jpg|Example of the government benefits the Chinese can expect.
Image:Cunt_examination.jpg|Nice use of +1,000 year old Anglo-Saxon terminology.
Image:Skidknee.jpg|Azns are known to want it [[up the butt]].
Image:Wtfisthislee.jpg|Bruce Lee is not amused.
Image:Chinese_dude.jpg|OH, I SEE A COCK.
Image:Jimbo in red.jpg|The future of U.S.-China relations.
Image:China mad.jpg|Don't fuck with China.
Image:Chinese_babies.jpg|Space exploration propaganda, or solution to [[over_9000|massive population]]?
Image:China_segways.jpg|China's nerd patrol.
Image:Taiwan.jpg|Delicious Chinese food.
Image:Toy dead cat.jpg|The chinese [[hate|loooooooove]] cats.
Image:stonerchan.png|Stoner Chan, brother of Jackie Chan. Master of Stoner Kung Fu.
Image:China_-_Negotiations.jpg|Chinese hostage negotiator at work.
File:POTN China Wheelchair.jpg
File:ChinawomenridesPWC.jpg|Fucking white guys is a typical freetime actitvity of an average Chinawoman
File:Grocery_Gross_Dog_Heads.jpg|Typical Chinese cuisine.
File:Grocery_Gross_Tuna_Eye.jpg|How about some dessert?
File:ChinaGathersForUSDebt.jpg
File:Chinaownsyoubitch.jpg
File:Veryhotchinesechick.jpg|Very hot chinese chick
File:Anasianslut.gif
File:Kai-Lan.png|Your typical Chinese cartoon girl.
File:GookGirlTongTongWu.jpg|Typical Chinese woman named [[LOL|Tong Tong Wu]]
File:A young Chinese woman.jpg
File:JadeKush.jpg
</gallery>}}


==See Also==
==See Also==
*[[Dick Masterson]]
* [[Anti-CNN]]
*[[Anita Sarkeesian]]
* [[Afghanistan]]
*[[Digibrony]]
* [[Asia]]
*[[King Critic]] - Pedophile fanboy.
* [[Azn]]
*[[Aleksandr Pistoletov]]
* [[Chyna]]
*[[David Thorne]]
* [[China Guy]]
*[[Rizbow]]
* [[Communism]]
*[[Youtube Nobodies#MexXxicutioner|MexXxicutioner]]
* [[Death Van]]
 
* [[Eingee.com]]
==External Links==
* [[India]]
*[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/maddox-george-ouzounian-george-schnoz.24527/page-1 Kiwi Farms’ thread on Maddox.]
* [[Indonesia]]
*[http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=april_fools04 Maddox's website.]
* [[Human flesh search engine]]
*[http://www.angelfire.com/pro/awesomer/maddox.html The hidden parts of Maddox’s website.]
* [[Japan]]
*[http://maddoxlovestrannys.ytmnd.com Maddox loves him some dickgirls!]
* [[Kazakhstan]]
*[http://maddox.xmission.com His shitty, unfunny website]
* [[Mizhi County No. 3 Middle School Attack]]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0fgjB2qp7E8 Fashion inspired by Maddox.]
* [[North Korea]]
 
* [[Olympic Flame]]
{{Maddox}}
* [[Pakistan]]
{{trolls}}
* [[Russia]]
[[Category:People]]
* [[Taiwan]]
[[Category:Trolls]]
* [[Tajikistan]]
{{Dying_Alone}}
* [[Tibet]]
{{serious}}
* [[Vietnam]]
{{FakeNews}}
* [[Wang Jeu|Wang Jew]]
{{8chan}}
{{ytseries}}
 
{{timeline|Featured article November 16 & November 17, [[2017]]|[[It's Okay To Be White]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Usenet]]}}


==External links==
*[http://www.virtualworldsnews.com/2007/08/habbo-hotel-chi.html Chinese Habbo Hotel closed permanently] thanks to AIDS.
*[http://www.thestar.com/article/200265 Chinese sell couches labeled as nigger-brown.] At last, a quality product.
*[http://www.wired.com/epicenter/2010/04/google-china-and-censorship-a-wiredcom-faq/ '''Fired !'''] ''from Google - what did you expect, you honorable imperialist cunt ?''


<big><b><u>{{colortext|yellow|[https://encyclopediadramatica.online Back to how much I rule...]}}</u></b></big>
{{azn}}
{{commonwealth}}
{{Takedown}}
{{Unitedstates}}
{{Qing}}


{{corner|bl|[[File:madducks.gif|180px]]}}
[[Category: Locations]]

Revision as of 17:28, 25 December 2021

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File:Social credit score positive.png This article has been heavily modified at the request of our sponsors at Tencent. Heaven bless you for your benevolence kind sirs!


China's National Flag


Top Lel
Riding a roller coaster into a baby formula processing facility.
Chinese women are known for their unique beauty and intelligence.
This is what Chinese women can do best.
Typical Wikipedia userpage of a PRC nationalist.
The map of China. See the non-white space? THAT'S China!!!
YOU NO HAVE RIGHTS HERE WHITE DEVIR (and neither do we, tee hee!)
Over 9,000 years of Chinese wisdom has much to teach us.
Chinese contribution to the Internets...note that there are no boobs in the actual game. The developer is a Chinese-American and this is supposed to be a scam-knock off of Civilization, a game very popular among basement dwellers. AZNs love these games because many of them happen to be the luckless gold farmers.
The only English website allowed in China.

The People's Republic of China, known to many of its inhabitants as the center of the world (in Chinese, China is 中国 [zhongguo] which literally means "center country"),or Middle Kingdom (or the Asian version of US for the rest of the world) is a giant industrial park in Asia. China has so many people that they once instituted a One-child policy, although this policy has since been rescinded to allow two or three children per family. One of America's largest trading partners, China has been known to export a wide arrangement of high quality products, which many imperialist detractors will tell you are defective and dangerous. This is in no way related to a religious adherence to the uber-cheap and low manufacturing standards that western dogs love, the quality of Chinese products speak for themselves and are well worth the investment.

China is a world innovator in surveillance; you've probably heard of the amazing "social credit" system by now, right anon? It is a single government-sponsored credit rating system that tracks and evaluates the trustworthiness of individuals, businesses, and government entities in aggregate. TL;DR - the big brothers check to see if you're behaving. If you don't visit your grandparents often enough, that's a paddarin. If you say something bad about our government, that's a paddarin. And if you dare stand on the same side of a fence as an imperialist OH YOU BERRER BERIEVE THAT'S A PADDARRIN!

It is also very important to note that the Engrish manuals that Chinese products come with are, for the most part, examples of the greatest heights of Engrish grammar and prose. They're so great, in fact, most people would feel their head aching on reading the first few lines, while others feel a sudden urge to hurt someone. Also, some argue that the Chinese are inscrutable. Others would say Americunts are just too unintelligent to read.

Westerners refer to the people of China in many ways, although doing so can seriously affect your score. Here's a guide to show you how much your credit score will lower if you decide to use ANY of the following terms to describe them:

Use these words at your own discretion, you filthy, wide-eye, white devils
Term Pre-Viral Liveform Oriental Chinaman/Chinawoman Chiggers Rice Niggers Chink Chiamese Chine Chino Ching Chong Taiwanese Gooks Aisan Jews Jackie Chan
Social credits 0 -10 -10 -20 -20 -30 -20 -30 -10 -30 -100 -100 -10000 -9999999

TL;DR

Yellow soup

Ancient Chinese secret! Yellow soup is shit soup! China invent. Bery good. You food poison? You diarrhea so bad? Eat shit soup! Eat my shit! China know for 4th century! Steel after twelve hunderd year Li Shizhen use shit soup treat bad abdomen! True story! Make stomach strong! Chinese medicine work! No listen Western medicine! So stupid! Bad for you! Antibiotic make superbug! Western medicine make superbug bad for you! Shit soup is answer! Shit soup is golden syrup!

Recipe for shit soup: I shit bowl, just add water. You drink! Drink up! Is cure for you! Fresh soup bery hot. No bowl? I shit in mouth! No die diarrhea. No die dysentery. Shit soup good for all things! Drink my shit! Cure autoimmune disease! Cure fatness! Cure diabetes! Cure MS! Cure Parkinsons! China know cure for century! You have cholera? You have typhoid fever? You have plague? Eat shit or die! Animal shit good also. Camel shit work also. Nazi soldier in Africa know this! Why you think dog eat shit? Even dog know this! Dog know more than Western doctor!

Warning! Not all shit good for eat. No shit from sick person. Bad shit. Bad shit make sick, good shit make well. So simple! Need good shit. Shit healthy person. FDA agree! Human shit experimental drug since 2013! Donate at shit bank! China know for century. My shit good. You eat! You drink! Drink my shit! Good for you! China #1 exporter good shit! My shit medicine for you! No like shit soup? I shit, I freeze dry, put in pill, you eat! Shit pill cure you! Shit pirr cure famiry! I prescribe shit pill for you! Eat my shit dayree! Home remedy prepare for sickness: healthy person shit, store in freezer. Illness? Eat own good shit. No lie! No freezer no problem. Warm fresh shit often best medicine! China cure epidemic! Try many shit over many year. Have Ebola? Eat shit person survive Ebola. So easy. Many animal eat dung. Animal more wise than Western doctor! Panda elephant hippo koala all eat mother shit. China know shit. Shit soup best medicine. So wise Panda. Thank you Panda teach China.

Chinese People

Meanwhile, in China...
Another typical Chinese math plantation.
There IS a difference.
How Chinese people show that they love Japan.

Many have wondered why China has such a large population only to be perplexed by the ugliness of the ladies. Prince Philip, the greatest philosopher of the United Kingdom, considered Chinese ladies to be the "ugliest in the world." These are simply lies, Chinese women are the most beautiful type of azn and Chinese men are handsome, strong, virile beasts with big cocks with which to spread their seed far and wide. They were so virile that the one child policy was introduced in order to restrain them, since the Chinese population has more than doubled over the last 70 years, from 563 million in 1950 to over 1.3 billion in 2005. There is only so much cum a vagina can take people, use your brains.

In the wake of the Republic of China's severe overpopulation, the Chinese Communist Party has mastered the art of sacrificing its people with noble campaigns like the Great Leap Forward (1959–1961), which killed 30-40 million people, and the Cultural Revolution (1966–1976) with 7–8 million casualties. The Han Chinese are proud of their ancient heritage of being ruled over by foreigners during non-Chinese dynasties like the British Empire who pwned their way into Hong Kong. They have since been absorbed back into the welcoming bosom of the communist party, whether they like it or not, and they will either join mainland China or die. All of China belongs to China, yes, even Taiwan.

Much like niggers with their basketball, spics with their menial labor and whites with their faggotry, chiggers have their own special array of talents. At a young age, many boys are forced to engage in a life of studying the Confucian rites and being able to apply its teachings to the math and physics they're forced to cram for on a study night. And on top of that, you have to learn kung-fu, a real sport and martial art and/or gymnastics to compete in the Olympics.

Speaking of sports, did you know that the national sport of China is manufacturing? The Chinese countryside is dotted with sweatshops full of child laborers working their fingers to the bone to make sure bargain stores across the world are bursting at the gills with toys covered in lead paint, tacky polyester t-shirts and poop emoji pillows. It's not just the dollar store stuff that gets made here, they also make your vidya gaem consoles and cellphones, including their many MANY knockoff iterations to also be sold at the dollar store! It is claimed that the sweatshops are so massive and numerous that they can be seen from space, right next to The Great Wall of China. However, the years of labor they endure are worth it, since on payday they are each compensated with a small sum of sand and a handful of dog hairs.

China actually had a interesting culture 100 years ago. But like everything else, Japanese culture invaded and now Chinese also have to display the peace sign in every photograph they take. Nowadays, Chinese people copy from American, European and Japanese culture. China no longer displays original content. WE DO SO HAVE A CULTURE STFU IMPERIALIST SCUM

National Anthem

Get your own chinky-eye glasses; hurry up while supplies last!
Dr. Jones demonstrates the correct way to handle a Chinese chinamen, they no rikey.

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Chinese Hobbies

  • Inspecting cunts through voyeurism.
  • Pretending not to speak English
  • Chopping off peoples penises to get eunuchs.
  • Eating anything that moves and shitting epidemics. See SARS and AIDS.
  • Shouting in loud, annoying voices with a horrible sounding language.
  • Preparing for sweatshop work at age 3.
  • Wishing their dicks were bigger.
  • Manufacturing inscrutably low-quality, knock-off products that break upon use.
  • Manufacturing malfunctioning weapons to other countries who are at war with each other only to make money. See Russia and USA.
  • Doing math.
  • Butchering the English language by trying to adopt Ebonics.
  • Counter-Racism
  • Being just like Jews
  • Farming virtual gold to sell to basement dwellers.
  • Surpassing the U.S. as being the most environmentally-destructive, air and water-polluting nation on the planet.
  • Hating Niggers better than americunts (especially the Curry Nigger and Shore Nigger)
  • Sending butthurt, stupid, smelly Indonesian Muslims to help the Jew-sent, Syrian Rapefugees rape Europe to death.
  • Taking a shit in holes
  • Standing on toilet bowls to shit
  • Being nippy
  • Skinning animals alive
  • Videotape themselves crushing cats to death for fap material.
  • Use carcinogenic gutter oil to cook noodles and sell them on the streets.

2008 Beijing Orimpics

Main article: LOLympic Games

China's amazing Shoop-da-Mexican, used to make Mexicans from nothing. PEDOBEAR APPROVES.
A typical slave to the Dalai Lama.
Team China has their eyes on the ball...and the gold.

Beijing was fortunate enough to win purchase the bid for the 2008 Orimpic Games, and they have delivered on a promise to give the world an amazing competition.

The August 8th Opening Ceremony of the Orimpics started off with a bang. The nation that invented fireworks gave the world the most impressive display of photoshopped fireworks ever seen. The fun did not stop there; after ¥1 Billion Renminbi and years of hard work, Chinese computer engineers managed to create a program able to shoop an attractive child over an ugly child with talent.

As the Orimpics got underway, Team China dominated the in the child labor competition, winning the gold with two of the youngest loli to have ever competed. It wasn’t long before everyone was asking how China managed to train some of the best underage athletes in the world. The Chinese reveled their forced labor training camps where loli are selected at the tender age of 3 for rigorous training in making high quality Nikes and lead-covered sports equipment for other teams. (Team Wal-Mart was disappointed in the Chinese decision to reveal secret training exercises.)

While performing well in the child labor competition, the U.S.of fucking A. try-hard "Redeem "Shitfaced" Team" has hurt China's chances of earning the gold in the Orimpic Basketball Tournament. However, hopes still ride on Yao Ming to bring home a metal. The Chinese state-sponsored coaching staff hopes by training Ming into the ground and destroying his career as a basketball player, they will be victorious in earning the gold for Team China. In a statement to the press Ming said, "If I don' bring home the gorrd they wirr kirr my famiry and reprace me wit any one of severar mirrions erigibre Chinese basketba' praya." You can bet that Ming's famiry will be cheering for him during the games.

China did however excel in spitting, bottle peeing, and shitting in holes. Unfortunately, none of these activities are recognized Olympic events. Regardless, the Chinese moved forward, with each day in the events producing more spit, urine and feces than one could ever have possibly imagined. These events climaxed with the closing ceremonies, where Chinese performers ended the games with a series of enormous bowl movements, the drowning of several Chinese "dissidents" in a spit / urine pool, and a secondary invasion of Taiwan.

The Chinese government broadcast the events on live TV, then quickly denied the incident ever occurred, right after calling Google to ask for another "favor".

In Communist China, loli destroys your life.

Things They Don't Want You to Know

100% of China's youth are chain smokers.
  • Fact: China's National Motto? China: The Land Of Spit And Tobacco.
  • Fact: Chinese city workers can't dig up roads to repair pipe systems as the natural instinct for a Chinese person when they see an open hole in the ground is to shit in it. It is estimated that the Chinese population could fill the Grand Canyon is less than three minutes.
  • Fact: Anything a Chinese person can pee in WILL be peed in. Example: empty water bottles, plastic sandwich baggies, purses, the pocket of a stranger, rectums, vaginas, open sewers (AKA: China)
  • Fact: Chinese pussy is hairy and sideways.
  • Fact: China almost got nuked in the Sino-Soviet border conflict.
  • Fact: Chinese women have small breasts. Any Chinese women you see with normal or large breasts has implants.
  • Fact: The ED website is not censored in China.
  • Fact: Chinese families name their newborn babies by gathering their whole family together and smash glass plates on the floor.
  • Fact: The Chinese take pleasure in gobbing on pavements, in restaurants and on each other for that matter. This frequent transfer of bodily fluids is considered more effective in getting woman pregnant. Even children, amirite?

Chinese Childcare

Children in China are treated like crap. They are either eaten as a staple food, chained to posts like animals and/or brutally molested as a sport. Those "lucky" enough to survive till the age of 3 are given the privilege of being socially sold into mandatory slavery for the greater glory of the country in a sweatshop.

  • Fetuses are often revered as a Chinese delicacy.
    Fetuses are often revered as a Chinese delicacy.
  • "HOW FAR CAN I GO ON CHAIN?"
    "HOW FAR CAN I GO ON CHAIN?"
  • --Ancient traditional Chinese method of transportation.-- Actually, the baby in the plastic bag is actually a picture taken in good Korea
    --Ancient traditional Chinese method of transportation.-- Actually, the baby in the plastic bag is actually a picture taken in good Korea
  • Yummy!
    Yummy!
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PROTIP: Google "Chen Chuanliu".

Chinese babies don't wear diapers, as they're far too expensive for 3rd world bordering chinky chip slave laborers only making 10 cents an hour to churn out Apple and My Little Pony crap. As such parents rely on "split pants", letting the child just shit and piss all over the floor and themselves. As a result, most chinklets are treated like animals and caged or tied up outdoors. The "split pants" also offer a unique "double feature" in that it allows for "easy access" to China-men who recreationally molest young children, which is in fact a national sport in China.


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Famous Chinese

  1. Confucius
  2. Winnie the Pooh
  3. Lin Zhong Min
  4. Guan Yin
  5. Pai Mei
  6. Bruce Lee (and clones Bruce Li, Bruce Lei, Blues Ree etc)
  7. Christopher Lee
  8. Hitmonlee
  9. Hitmonchan
  10. Hitmontop
  11. Mao Ze Dong
  12. O-ren Ishii
  13. Elliot Rodger
  14. Yao Ming
  15. Ho-Ming Mee Sao
  16. Wang Wei (The pilot who took down an American plane and made them apologize)
  17. Ming The Merciless
  18. Fu Manchu
  19. Yin-Yang Twins
  20. Lao Tse
  21. Goa Tse
  22. Edison Chen (the hero with many jpegs to back him up)
  23. David Carradine
  24. Ms. Wang (Infamous traitor of China that was exposed by the Internet and the New York Times)
  25. O-chin Chin
  26. Lu-Bu
  27. Lu-Wi
  28. Helen Yoo
  29. Long-Ho
  30. Hu-Dat
  31. Jackie Chan
  32. Chris Rock
  33. Donnie Yen
  34. Ching Chong
  35. Peter Chao (The guy who rubbed his own crap on a building)
  36. Kim Jung Il
  37. That white guy from Kung Pow
  38. Bill Clinton
  39. Chuck Norris
  40. Jean Claude Van Damme
  41. Kevin Rudd
  42. Long Le
  43. Steven Segal
  44. William Hung
  45. William Fu
  46. Jason Statham
  47. Jet Li
  48. Brock
  49. Yung Shin Boys
  50. Michael Phelps
  51. Lo Wang (Fictional character from Shadow Warrior, made by the same guys that made Duke Nukem 3D.)
  52. Dalai Lama
  53. Christopher Walken
  54. Tommy Chong
  55. Hu Flung Dung
  56. Adolf Hitler
  57. George Bush
  58. Agent Smith
  59. Geert Wilders
  60. Wu Tang Clan
  61. Mr. Lau
  62. Yu

Government

HOLY SHI- They can FLY?
Harry Potter is speechless...
Chinese Electricians

One of the few remaining Communist regimes in the world, China's leader is always a member of the Communist Party of China. China is now "Socialist". While the Democratic Party of China, founded in 1998, tried to make a go of it, their leaders were promptly detained and sent to "correction facilities".

President Hu Jintao, when he's not busy stomping on kittens, has overseen the rise of China from a third world nation to an economic superpower (but still third world nation). lulwut? Open mouth insert truck of cocks you dumb piece of shit, after the Hilarious Chinacost that oldskool commies unleashed during the Cultural Revolution it was for Deng Xiao Ping to divert the chinacide to what outcummed as an economic development, hence, China finally stopped sucking cock and became economic superpower. There is more to that, If you weren't smoking pot during Elmo Street, you'd know that during WWII China got raeped hard by the Japan niggaz. Back then Commies were nothing but your average Fallout 3 wastelander hobos, living on sucking Russia's delicious cock, Republic of China with Chiang Kai-shek as the Leader owned the street cred in the back days. So, when Japz went partying hard at Shanghai and especially at Nanking, Commies and Kuominttangs didn't give a flying fuck and continued to saw out each other. Eventually they "united" and fought back. Little did they know, that after the war, casualties were counted and bricks of uranium were said to be shat, for it turned out, that the Japz lost hardly 1.3 million samurais, 700 000 of which were ass fucked as POW's by glorious IVAN's army in Korea, and China managed to get their dicks cut by 30 000 000 (thirty million) people. 1.3 million to 30 millions, kinda tells a lot 'bout chinese army, amirite. So, after the war ended, Chinks had a small civil war between Commies and Kuomintang ended with Chiang Kai-shek GTFO to Taiwan with all the gold and hookers, thus on 1st October of 1949 People's Republic of China was born. USSR, UK, even Germany were quickly recovering form WWII, but China was still in mid 16th century, having no industry, no telecom and no 4chan, but as they were commies they pledged for some hard soviet cock in their tight azn pussies and so a glorious path to Prosperity began. To cut a long story short, Chinks got a fuckton of OIL in factories, telecom, 2ch, 4ch, Chris Hansen, education and even nukes from USSR, 'till Stalin decided to GTFO forever, with Khurshev being Steve Ballmer, Mao got pissed with USSR, they even attacked USSR's border posts in 1969 scoring some frags. And there was but one country, that rejoiced at such an outcome - the US of A. Back in China with no Soviet cock, commie leaders initiated Chinacide, so when Deng Xiao Ping finally got some street cred, he had a fucking great Idea - If we can't have some delicious Soviet Penis, we could ask for PHAT AMERICUNT DONGS in our asses, as it happened with President Nixon's Shocking visit to PRC in 1973. Which brings us to the beggings - Deng Xiao Ping is responsible for China's economic growth and the fact, that China WILL ALWAYS CRAVE FOR PHAT COCKS.

China's government is also known for its sterling Human Right's record, treating more diverse members of its society such as Falun Gong adherents and Tibetan Buddhists with the utmost dignity and respect.

Military

Built in 6th century BC, the Great Wall of Doge is a testament to Chinese militarism.

While China was famous in the past for losing hard to the Japanese, Russians, Mexicans, Martians, homosexuals, and 3rd grade girls, the latter half of the 20th Century saw a dramatic turnabout in China's ability to wage war.

In Korea and Vietnam they were notorious for their Zerg Rushes against Americunt forces.

Recent advances include:

  • The selling of Nuclear Arms secrets to China by Bill Clinton (thanks a lot, asshole).
  • The selling of uranium to China by drunk convicts.
  • The purchasing of diesel-electric submarines that can sneak up on unsuspecting Americunt ships.

Disadvantages of the China Zerg Rush:

The Chinese military gets bitch-slapped by Europe's epic military power during the 2nd Opium Wars

It costs the Chinese government approximately $1 to give their soldiers a cheap uniform and a basic two-day training course. That is not difficult. However, it is quite expensive to produce weapons, even if they are cheap, unreliable pieces of shit. Thus, the government forced everyone to learn Kung Fu in hopes that they might have rare chance of winning if they ever get close enough to engage in hand to hand combat. In a group of five Chinamen, there will be one or two with rifles the rest might be armed with Dao swords and Three-section staffs,lol! The others will just throw fireballs at you and hope you die like a low budget Kung Fu film. China often parades its military equipment since they've made some progress since the "great leap forward" but most of their weapons are outdated. It's a ploy to convince its neighbors that attacking China is foolhardy but the truth is that China only has its massive infantry division as an asset. When the world and China's neighbors realize that China is in reality actually a very weak country with only the power to only oppress its citizens, China will get pimp-slapped like an overdosed hooker as it has been in the past.

Advantages: No country has unlimited ammunition. If a country is unprepared and doesn't have reserves while a group of troops is firing at the never ending horde, a Chinaman will fly around the back and Kung Fu their ass up.

Fuck with one, fuck with them all, and you're bound to get Kung Fu-cked Up. Why bother messing with them? HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT I EAT DOG.

Nukes

China has nukes, but like every other country with nukes it knows that if it is dumb enough to use 'em, the USA will pwn their entire country to glass and then shit on the radioactive remains from a great height.

Economy

Chinese equivalent of Wall St.
Fresh meats can be purchased from your neighbor.

The people of China are willing to work hard for little money, from a young age until they drop dead. Without their hard work, most people in places like Australia, Canada and United States would be naked, living in trees, and eating berries.

Chinese spies spent years studying the American economy from secret bases in Chinatowns. They copied the capitalistic economy, while keeping the dictatorial political system.

The Chinese mastered the art of sleazy economic competition. They deliberately pegged their Yuan currency to the Dollar so Chinese products always stay cheaper than American, and other developed countries. It ensures massive Chinese product exports so America and co. are swamped with cheap crap and cannot compete in this unfair trade scheme. Much of America's industry and jobs has been outsourced to eager Chinese sweatshops.

The United States turned into an unsustainable consumer country of primarily Chinese products. This dirty trick created an enormous trade deficit and national debt for America. The American leaders are oblivious to the perils, and spend like drunken sailors, addicted to everything Made in China. Especially the mail in waifus from china. Bitch will make my sandwich and suck my small asian wee wee.

1.00 USD = 7 Chinese Yuan (also known as "one month's wages").

Opinion of Chinafag: A little known fact is that China Likes Big American Cock. They way it tastes like shit reminds me of how my mom tasted after the Tiananmen Square Massacre. When my friends say to me eat her dead body and ask, "wing wang. What the fuck are you doing?" I replied, "My food stamps ran out. The government was displeased by my -A in math, so I needed to eat my mom to survive."

Economic Policy

The three step economic policy used by China:

Exports

Some notable Chinese exports include:

  • McDonald's Happy Meal toys
  • My Little Pony toys.
  • Lead paint
  • Diseased chicken
  • Bird Flu
  • Fleshlights
  • American Flags
  • African Genocide
  • Pirated copies of anything and everything
  • Rice
  • Chinese food urban myth, Chinese food is actually made in Wisconsin
  • Stuntmen
  • Chinatowns that take up all the local jobs
  • Malware such as Nimda
  • Everything else

History

The last Great Wall didn't work any better...
   
“ 		 
The death toll stands at nine thousand, and that number looks certain to rise.
  		„
  		 

—BBC 6 PM News, 12 May 2008 on the Great Sichuan Earthquake.

The People's Republic of China is not an inheritor of previous dynasties which were created by foreign barbarians. The PRC has false imperialistic claims to territories that never belonged to China proper (Tibet, Taiwan, Manchuria). Despite that, the Chinese Communist Party led by Mao still managed to conquer the two countries of Tibet. Adding to the humiliation is the fact that China was a mainly aggrarian country when said countries were conquered.

Starting in 1959, the Chinese started dying from famine on a massive scale. One of the consequence is that there are few to no pets in China. Despite what some retards say, cats and dogs are just food there. One more reason why the Chinese found a way to make just about anything digestible. It is estimated that over 30 million people died. The famine was ended in 1961 by Mao Zedong importing grain from the capitalist countries and making a law that every Chinese can have a handful of rice per day, thus, thwarting evolution.


Chinese Inventions

Eat that, Land of the Rising Sun.

The centuries of foreign rule over China means many inventions and achievements were made possible thanks to their foreign overlords. Were it not for their generous intervention, they'd still be living in igloos and hunting jellyfish. Actually, they discovered and invented a lot of cool things like paper, the printing press, silk, compasses, and most importantly gunpowder BUT the Arabs were smart enough to burrow these inventions from the Chinese. They then assraped China at the Battle of Talas in 751. Then the Arabs converted the entire Central Asia to Islam and screwed China's plans at raping the shit out of the place. Then during the Crusades, the Europeans lived the raping shit out of the ME and stole the inventions from the Arabs. Thus the "barbarian" Europeans eventually harnessed and improve on those originally Chinese inventions to pwn the living shit out ofthe whole world during the age of Imperialism. And even to this day, the Chinese are still butthurt over the imperialistic rape and pwnage they created an entire museum dedicated to imperialism/buttrape. ROR 404

The Great Wall of China

Modern incarnations of the Great Wall are still prevalent throughout China.

At least 100 hundred years ago, the Great Wall was built to stave off invading drug lords. It never actually worked, because the drug lords simply bribed the gatekeepers. They killed them too when they came through.

On the other hand, ordering that a great wall be built has turned out to be a very effective form of population control, as it is estimated that millions of people died constructing the wall over the span of thousands of years and several dynasties.

On a side note, anyone who believes the myth that a 20-foot wide dirt colored wall can be seen from space is fucking retarded. See: FACT

Later History

Joey "Tank Man" Johnson takes his pack of tanks for a walk.
Invisible Execution!

Either China made Marco Polo famous, or Marco Polo made China famous. At any rate, now we know what to say when wandering around a dark room. China is known for contributing spaghetti (YA RLY!), deadly diseases, and useless products to the western civilization.

In the latter half of the 20th Century, China has had good relations with its neighboring country, Japan. In fact, whenever you meet a Chinese person, repeatedly refer to them as Japanese. This will ensure your ability to make many Chinese e-pals.

Inexplicably, the Chinese also get extremely offended when they are mistaken for Taiwanese, which, technicly, they are. To demonstrate your knowledge and understanding of their culture, always be sure to tell them you are aware that Mexico is NOT part of China and is in fact an entirely different country.

Deng Xiaoping, China's version of Reagan, was inscrutable. Was he a stalwart Communist or Capitalist reformer? Did he hate our freedom like all Communist Capitalists, or did he love money like a Jew?

Chinese Imperialism:

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Great Firewall of China

Last Thursday, China embarked on a monumental project to protect its citizens from the evils of the internets. Called the Golden Shield project, every communication is routed through a government firewall, where it is blocked if it attempts to connect to a site banned in China. Naturally, it works just as well as the last Great Wall.

P.S:

Unit 731

Japanese conducted torture and mass experiments of Chinese during World War II, and castrated the entire Chinese male population. Here a Japanese woman cuts off a Chinese man's penis.

There have been countless atrocities throughout history many ignored which we can learn from but whenever you're talking a chink you'll be sure to have this mentioned. Hilariously enough many of histories atrocities were committed notoriously by the Chinese themselves including cruel Chinese emperors, Chinese imperial expansionism, Lingchi:death by a 1000 cuts, violent cultural revolutions, Chinese gulags, artificial famines, mass genocide by Mao Zedong, invading and plundering Africa and Latin America, etc.. The list could go on forever...Instead of learning from Unit 731 as a humbling experience for china to never be belligerent again. China became worse and more aggressive, now china had a reason to adopt a victim mentality(while others who have been persecuted move on)furthering their agenda for imperialism and world domination covertly. Whenever you mention any of China's bad points they will immediately BAAAWWW!!! and bring UNIT 731 up.

A Unit 731 Log Inspector

Unit 731 was a epic underground complex full of sekret stuffs, and if you don't know what it is you should probably Google it, because its full of epic win and CP, but to sum it up...

Unit 731 (pronounced CHING-CHONG NIP NONG NONG) was a covert biological and chemical warfare research and development unit of the Imperial Japanese Army that undertook lethal human experimentation during World War II. It was responsible for some of the most hilarious war crimes carried out by Japanese personnel, including the killing of thousands of logs.

There is some question to whether UNIT 731 was an actual event or not many times throughout history we hear a one sided story mainly told by the victors of wars and China during WW2 was part of the allied powers. Many in Japan call into question UNIT 731 as an actual event because China is known for its dubious claims especially about history. Interestingly enough many Koreans joined the Japanese when they invaded china. The Chinese are known for propaganda especially the Chinese cinema which is very famous in continent of asia and in the United States because Chinks have infested Hollywood.

Culture

Authentic Beaner food sold in the local china town in Germany.
Chinese love Slurpees and Hello Kitty all in one!
Kai Yat Sai, for great justice.

While the Chinese government is surprisingly non-religious, those who are religious must adhere to one of the state-sanctioned religions, such as Buddhism, Taoism, Confucianism, or Christianity and even they are imprisoned sometimes. Members of non-sanctioned religions such as Falun Gong are V& and sent to correction facilities, where their vital organs are harvested and sold on the black market. Although things are looking to change as religion is now flourishing in china.

According to John Lennon, If you go carrying pictures of Chairman Mao, you ain't gonna make it with anyone anyhow.

The average Chinese is over 9000% racist. This is mainly directed at Blacks, especially the Negro equivalent of the Mexican, the Curry nigger.. However, in all circumstances this racist rage can boil over and be directed towards anyone, especially other Chinese. This manifests itself in a variety of ways, from being admonished for tipping to throwing yourself in front of cabs otherwise the don't stop for Whitey.

The average Chinese street is piled with the dead bodies of pedestrians who couldn't look both ways before crossing the street because in China that's how you yield right of way. 'THEY SAW ME. THEY SHOULD HAVE STOPPED.' srsly. Luckily dem Commies cracked down on IRL carmageddeon and now you can only hit ONE jaywalker scott free.

Average Chinese children spend up to 200% of their time in sweatshops. They have most likely created your shoes, braces, computers, houses, electronics and food. The average sweatshop laborer receives a maximum of ten grains of rice per day. The Chinese think that having a daughter is very unfortunate, which is obviously wrong. When Obama went to China to discuss the issues the people were facing, all they could think about was the fact that he had two daughters in a row.

   
“ 		 
You already have 2 daughters. Will you try for a third? And if it is still a daughter, what would you think about that?
  		„
  		 

—Lzm048 asks Obama a hard one


Food

Many Americans think of eggrolls, General Tsao's (or Tso's, Gau's, Zor's, Chau's) chicken, and chop suey as Chinese food. However, all of this is untrue. "Chicken" is actually made from the stray cats in the alleys of Chinatowns while chop suey is in fact a traditional Armenian dish popularized by the band System of a Down.

To easily sum up most oriental foods, if its incredibly disgusting, rare, or endangered, they will consume it in mass quantities.

One must travel to China to find true, authentic Chinese food. Feast on such mouth-watering delicacies as:

  • Everything's uterus
  • Cat and Dog
  • Donkey Curry
  • Stinky Tofu (Odor of belly button and foot-ass)
  • Beef tripe
  • Fried eel
  • Really expensive Pizza Hut
  • Really sketchy McDonalds
  • Starbucks and Kentucky Fried Chicken on every corner
  • Tiger penis
  • Internal Organs of Persecuted Falun Gong followers.
  • Swallow bird's nest
  • Shark fin
  • Chicken gizzards
  • The best fake meat for vegetarians (Only at temples)
  • Marinated squid and jellyfish tentacles
  • Roast pigeon
  • Dog soup
  • Artificially made eggs Broke ass link
  • Cardboard buns

The Chinese, enamored to the magical delicacy of American invented Slurpees, have allowed Western convenience stores to infiltrate the shit hole province of Guangzhou and it's Specially Economical Zone of Shenzhen. Last Thursday, thousands of 7-11s sprouted up in all sizes from kiosk to full size store.

Strange Chinese Dishes

Some Chinese eat Baby Soup which contains a deceased human fetus and costs about $4000. Chinese eat Baby Soup to increase overall health, stamina and the power of sexual performance.

Medicine

Chinese medicine is based around the notion of Chi, which is complete bullshit on the order of the four humours of ancient Greek medicine. Simply wrong. Although they have some rudimentary knowledge of anatomy, it's garbled by the fact that the sole concern of Chinese medicine is the smallness of Chinese penises. For instance, Chinese medicine is certain that the kidneys have something to do with sex. This is what is going on when the Chinese doctor or apothecary suggests something to "strengthen the kidney". They are not talking about urinary function.

With the exception of acupuncture and hanging weights off your cock, Chinese medicine consists of eating, drinking, or probably snorting anything even vaguely penis-shaped or somehow related to penises in the hopes of getting a boner. Tigers are being driven extinct by the market for tiger-penis soup. Rhinoceroses are being driven extinct by the market for powdered rhino horn. Priceless dinosaur fossils are ground to powder and sold as "dragon bone". And it's all because the Chinese can't get it up, and when they do it's disappointing.

DERRICK UH SHEE

Chinks eat fucking everything as a delicacy. Especially human dong. The ancient Chinese proverb "Ching chong ding dong" from the Hai Chang roughly translates to "Dirty Chinaman chew this penis." Other scholars translate "chong" as "chomp" or "chow down." In fact, the term "chow down" comes from the traditional Chinese garbage soup Chao Daon. Every animal penis and every animal part is used as "medicine" in China. EVERY SINGLE FUCKING ONE. The Chinese alone keep every poacher in business worldwide. Shark fin. Rhino horn. Tiger balls. Zebra penis. Kangaroo pouch. Platypus nostrils. Orangutan fingernails. Panda liver. Porcupine lymph nodes. Elephant thyroid. Musk ox pancreas. Lion ovaries. Cheetah tear ducts. Slug semen. Electric eel stomach. Jellyfish testicles. THE CHINESE WANT TO EAT IT. NO EXCEPTIONS. The most popular menus in China are the Endangered Species Act and the IUCN Red List of Threatened Species. Melamine is another delicacy in China and they always use it in place of wheat, rice, corn, soy, milk, and baby formula. Make kidney strong like bull!

The world's largest penis museum was required by a UN treaty to be set in Reykjavík, Iceland simply to prevent the Chinese from consuming the museum's entire collection. Every museum worker at the Icelandic Phallological Museum quakes in fear when they see Chinese tourists approaching. Most museums have signs like "Do not touch" or "No leaning on the glass", but due to the Chinese, the Iceland penis museum has had to put up multiple "Do not eat" signs written in multiple variants of Chinese: Mandarin, Wu, Yue, Min, Jin, Huayu, Shanghainese, Huizhou, Gan, Xiang, Amoy, Teochew, Zhuyin fuhao, Pinyin, Xiao'erjing, Dungan, Zhongwen, Chingchong, Pingpong, Fengwang, Hoju, Heihachi, Gon, Lo Wang, etc. As a result, the Icelandic Phallological Museum has become one of the world's foremost experts on the Chinese language simply as a means of survival and continuity of operations. Plaques with pictograms meaning "do not eat penis" have also been permanently affixed in the museum. Some very rare penises are kept in a fortified basement vault with armed guards. The Iceland penis museum has considered banning all Chinese visitors, but since gooks are their major source of ticket revenue it's a catch-22. The Icelandic military's sole mission is to protect their national penis museum from Chinese tourists.

There have been multiple extinction events in the history of life on Earth, but none has been as devastating as The Chinese. China is currently Zerg rushing all land and sea animals and bioconverting them into slanteyes. For the Chinese, seeing any eyeball on another living thing that isn't constantly squinting is deeply offensive and drives their murderousness. Quite often, the Chinese instinct to violently kill everything with eyes is expressed as elementary school knife massacres, subway gas attacks, VTEC, and supreme gentlemen. Chink on chink crime can be explained by overpopulation, hunger, and self-hatred due to the medical condition Guangdong Min Dong, Latin for "Grown Man Have Baby Penis."

If you're ever walking on a beach and see some monstrous horror washed up, it is always true to say "That's a delicacy in China." If you're hitchhiking along an interstate and see two dead animals violently fused together by tires, it is always true to say "That's a delicacy in China." If you visit an abortion clinic and open a biohazard bin, it is always true to say "That's a delicacy in China." If you've ever seen a picture on the Internet of eyeball soup, it came from China. Placenta lasagna? Made in China. Fetus stew? Made in China. Penis dumplings? Made in China. Spaghetti and testicles? Made in China. THIS IS NOT A FUCKING JOKE. This no game Daniel-san, this for real.

Morality

Morality in China is no different from other godless ex-commie countries (like Russia). They run over their children first with a truck to soften the meat before consuming them.

Confucius says: If child is dying in agony, keep walking.

Sports

Not sure if swimming or Arirang Festival.

The Chinese are notoriously great at martial arts, ping pong, gymnastics, figure skating, diving, synchronized diving, synchronized marching, rikshaw pulling, Qui-Gon Jinn, stuntmen and putting people before firing squads. However, their prowess in Western sports is limited to the freakishly tall Yao Ming. The Chinese especially seem to excel at sports when the event is held in china with Chinese judges where they seem to become world champions with a history of winning consecutively. A more obvious reason behind this is the presence of a large number of Chinese labs experimenting in mixing chemical meths with steroids.

Language

The entire Chinese language consists of two syllables: cheech and chong. Linguistic scholars[citation not needed] believe this to be the origin of the term "Ching Chong Chinaman." Even to a cunning linguist who sees differences with types of words, even with the approximately five different tone inflections, there still is an irritatingly huge number of homophones. Fortunately, lulz can be harvested; the symbol for slave looks like the symbol of a woman near the symbol of a right hand, and the literal translation for their name of Africa, fei zhou, is "wrong continent". Not necessarily ugly, but the Chinese language generally sounds like cats trying to imitate a drum set.

The most useful Chinese words are 不要 ( buyao / búyào ) Roughly pronounced boo-yow with a falling inflection it means "DO NOT WANT" (srsly) and is used by yelling it at the Chinese trying to electrocute you in the subway/ take your picture/ sell you crap/ selling sex from weird massage parlors/ begging for money/ asking if you're a wrestler/ being racist at you. More useful words are 出口 (Chūkǒu) pronounced chew-kow and means "Exit." This can be used to your advantage as most exits anywhere in China or china-adjacent are brightly marked with Coat Rack/T.V. for speedy escape from thundering hordes of Chinese bent on taking everything nice from you while rejecting such foreign concepts such as "lining up" or "personal space".

The Chinese language does not have tenses in it, which is why all the food is raw. It's impossible to asked for "cooked" meat - meat that was being cooked in the recent past but is now no longer being cooked. It's also impossible to ask for "boiled water" - water which has been boiled but is now no longer hot. In Chinese, the water either is or is not boiling. This is why bottled water - "water in a bottle" - is the only way to get safe drinking water and is responsible for a great deal of waste.

On the other hand, people who natively speak languages like this routinely make better long-term decisions than those who speak languages with tenses. It seems there us an up-side to not being able to put worries off until tomorrow.








Chinese child musicians who did not practice enough and therefore failed their parents and dishonored their ancestors.

What your average Mongolian thinks of the Chinese

Previous Video | Next Video


List of Chinese Pastimes

Painted dogs: so much easier than saving the Panda.
Picture from a typical Chinese website, advertising for a restaurant.
Japanese soldier solving overpopulation.

Accidents

Me so horrny! Me ruvv you rong time!.
Chinese eat human fetus to "increase" their sexual performance.

According to a report at least 100,000,000 Chinese died in accidents in 2007, this is a dramatic 10% drop from the previous year. Some officials cite less hazards in the workplace such as two inspections per year rather than just one, a gun to encourage factory workers to do it right, and signs that replace 'do not touch this' with images of smiley communist pandas describing what can happen with images of a mangled worker.

Previous Video | Next Video

U.S.-China Relations

The Chinese word for America is 美國, pronounced meiguo, a transliteration which means literally "beautiful country". This would seem to be overtly flattering; however, the first character 美 (mei), though it does mean beautiful, is a vertical combination of the characters 大 (da) and 羊 (yang), meaning, respectively, "large" and "sheep".

The contrast between the conspicuous "beautiful" and the subtler "big sheep" contains a hidden truth and tells you everything you need to know about China's public versus private opinions of America and Americans. Rightly so. It is also well known China is slowly taking over the world. Most Experts suggest that they will make their move when America collapses, some think it is when they finally figure out how to open their eyes.


American Ali Bernard getting raped in the ass by Chinese Wang Jiao.Typical Chink unsportsmanlike behavior.

How to Troll the Chinese

  • Point out the many, many times the Great Wall failed them.
  • Mention the period of Mongolian foreign rule
  • Tell them the Manchu ran their country better than they ever did
  • Predict that India will surpass them
  • Claim that Western and Japanese corporations will sue their economy into oblivion.
  • Support Tibetan freedom
  • Support Uighur separatism
  • Support Hong Kong democracy
  • Support Taiwan
  • Yell "TAIWAN NUMBA WAN!"
  • Buy Taiwanese goods.
  • Tell them that Taiwan is, in fact, a country.
  • Tell them Mao killed more people by accident than Hitler and Stalin could on purpose.
  • Tell them North Korea will betray them sooner or later.
  • Claim that another Century of Humiliation is coming.
  • Make fun of their attempts at hegemony.
  • Make fun of their military
  • Say they'll never get control of the Easter and South China Sea
  • Tell them Japan will recover and outdo them.
  • Tell them Confucius was full of shit.
  • Ask them why Sun Tzu couldn't be bothered to write more.
  • Remind them who saved their tiny asses in World War 2
  • Diss communism
  • Send them this:
   
“ 		 
"动态网自由门 天安門 天安门 法輪功 李洪志 Free Tibet 六四天安門事件 The Tiananmen Square protests of 1989 天安門大屠殺 The Tiananmen Square Massacre 反右派鬥爭 The Anti-Rightist Struggle 大躍進政策 The Great Leap Forward 文化大革命 The Great Proletarian Cultural Revolution 人權 Human Rights 民運 Democratization 自由 Freedom 獨立 Independence 多黨制 Multi-party system 台灣 臺灣 Taiwan Formosa 中華民國 Republic of China 西藏 土伯特 唐古特 Tibet 達賴喇嘛 Dalai Lama 法輪功 Falun Dafa 新疆維吾爾自治區 The Xinjiang Uyghur Autonomous Region 諾貝爾和平獎 Nobel Peace Prize 劉暁波 Liu Xiaobo 民主 言論 思想 反共 反革命 抗議 運動 騷亂 暴亂 騷擾 擾亂 抗暴 平反 維權 示威游行 李洪志 法輪大法 大法弟子 強制斷種 強制堕胎 民族淨化 人體實驗 肅清 胡耀邦 趙紫陽 魏京生 王丹 還政於民 和平演變 激流中國 北京之春 大紀元時報 九評論共産黨 獨裁 專制 壓制 統一 監視 鎮壓 迫害 侵略 掠奪 破壞 拷問 屠殺 活摘器官 誘拐 買賣人口 遊進 走私 毒品 賣淫 春畫 賭博 六合彩 天安門 天安门 法輪功 李洪志 Free Tibet 劉曉波动态网自由门
  		„
  		 

This will instantly boot them from whatever platform you sent it to them through it and will get them sent to a Maoist gulag IRL where Bubba Bing Dong will stuff them full of chopsticks

Actually other Asian countries hates china

In fact, other Asian countries also hate China. Chinese bastards are ruining the image of Asians. In particular, good Korea, Japan, Taiwan, Hong Kong, Singapore, and Vietnam]] are the most hated for China. They all want to massacre the Chinese

  • "Foorish imperiarists. China wins this round."
    "Foorish imperiarists. China wins this round."
  • An all-too-common experience.
    An all-too-common experience.
  • Typical Chinese taxi driver. Rape is imminent.
    Typical Chinese taxi driver. Rape is imminent.
  • China kills Doge
    China kills Doge
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]
  • Foothurt
    Foothurt
  • It comes in different flavors!
    It comes in different flavors!
  • Chinese trying to put up a sign in English.
    Chinese trying to put up a sign in English.
  • Even Pedobear put in an application.
    Even Pedobear put in an application.
  • Chinaman Edison Chen getting his dick licked before having it chopped off. Notice Pedobear is present.
    Chinaman Edison Chen getting his dick licked before having it chopped off. Notice Pedobear is present.
  • The Chinese have trains now.
    The Chinese have trains now.
  • The Chinese Council disapprove of your shenanigans. You better believe that'll result in a lower social credit score
    The Chinese Council disapprove of your shenanigans. You better believe that'll result in a lower social credit score
  • Chinaman Edison Chen eating cunt, once his dick was removed by Gillian's teeth.
    Chinaman Edison Chen eating cunt, once his dick was removed by Gillian's teeth.
  • Typical Chinese Beauty.
    Typical Chinese Beauty.
  • Traditional Chinese toothbrush
    Traditional Chinese toothbrush
  • China's amazing originality.
    China's amazing originality.
  • Those Chinese sons of a bitches are going down.
    Those Chinese sons of a bitches are going down.
  • Shut up.
    Shut up.
  • Great Firewall of China...more like great faggotwall, amirite?
    Great Firewall of China...more like great faggotwall, amirite?
  • China's hackers on steroids can block tanks. Who knew?
    China's hackers on steroids can block tanks. Who knew?
  • Even drunken louts can share in the wisdom of the Dali Lama.
    Even drunken louts can share in the wisdom of the Dali Lama.
  • China is full of sick fucks.
    China is full of sick fucks.
  • China's so called "beautiful" culture.
    China's so called "beautiful" culture.
  • Example of the government benefits the Chinese can expect.
    Example of the government benefits the Chinese can expect.
  • Nice use of +1,000 year old Anglo-Saxon terminology.
    Nice use of +1,000 year old Anglo-Saxon terminology.
  • Azns are known to want it up the butt.
    Azns are known to want it up the butt.
  • Bruce Lee is not amused.
    Bruce Lee is not amused.
  • OH, I SEE A COCK.
    OH, I SEE A COCK.
  • The future of U.S.-China relations.
    The future of U.S.-China relations.
  • Don't fuck with China.
    Don't fuck with China.
  • Space exploration propaganda, or solution to massive population?
    Space exploration propaganda, or solution to massive population?
  • China's nerd patrol.
    China's nerd patrol.
  • Delicious Chinese food.
    Delicious Chinese food.
  • The chinese loooooooove cats.
    The chinese loooooooove cats.
  • Stoner Chan, brother of Jackie Chan. Master of Stoner Kung Fu.
    Stoner Chan, brother of Jackie Chan. Master of Stoner Kung Fu.
  • Chinese hostage negotiator at work.
    Chinese hostage negotiator at work.
  • Fucking white guys is a typical freetime actitvity of an average Chinawoman
    Fucking white guys is a typical freetime actitvity of an average Chinawoman
  • Typical Chinese cuisine.
    Typical Chinese cuisine.
  • How about some dessert?
    How about some dessert?
  • Very hot chinese chick
    Very hot chinese chick
  • Your typical Chinese cartoon girl.
    Your typical Chinese cartoon girl.
  • Typical Chinese woman named Tong Tong Wu
    Typical Chinese woman named Tong Tong Wu

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