Discordianism

Azn myths, pentagons and apples: Together at last!

Kerry Wendel Thornley, aka Omar Khayyam Ravenhurst, co-founder of Discordianism. Here he fornicates with a chair.

Discordianism is best described as a religion, philosophy, joke, apparently. It was invented by a Star Trek nerd and two filthy hippies a Unix programmer, a drug addled veteran and a porn-industry jew when they got bored playing imaginary video games, it is, to nobody's surprise, almost 100% bona fide bullshit, and just like most bullshit fucking religions, it has a bunch of retards who actually take it seriously.

The Discordian Society has no definition. If you want in on the Discordian Society then declare yourself what you wish do what you like and tell us about it or if you prefer don’t.

The Five Commandments

In the book, Principa Discordia, Malaclypse the Younger (Powerword: Gregory Hill) was inspired by Eris to scrawl some word that nobody reads or follows, including those who subscribe to this comical belief system. In order to spare the reader's brain cells, the Five Commandments have been simplified below:

• I - Eris is the only deity out there, and the Discordian movement is the only Discordian movement.
• II - All Discordians have to use the Discordian numbering system. Note that there is absolutely no explanation or tutorial given as to what this numbering system is, thereby making it impossible to obey this commandment. ODD# III(b)/4,iii;39Aft3181
• III - A Discordian must eat a hot dog on a Friday during early Illumination.
• IV - Discordians cannot eat hot dog buns. Corn dogs are a loophole.
• V - Discordians are prohibited from believing what they read, thereby making all of the previous statements ignorable.

Followers

Typical Discordian.

Here's their Goddess. All I know is that it's pretty hot and needs some rule 34.

Anon Delivers

Adherents of the propaganda and other crap associated with this ploy, most notably the toilet paper known as the Principia Discordia, fall into 5 distinct groups. It is theorized by some that these are phases that each Discordian must go through on their path through life.

• Pinealist Faggots, who are generally underage b& little queers who do jack shit other than spout off decades old memes from the Principia Discordia. If you see some faggot screaming about the number 23 and fnords, he's probably a goddamn pinealist faggot. Probably smokes alot of weed.

• PDfags users of principiadiscordia.com's forums. At this point, the pinealist faggot has simply evolved into a tight asshole'd 30-something post-grad that complains about how much of a pinealist shitneck you are in the language of continental philosophy, critical theory, and other commie red dribble. Between the rise of social media, chans, garbage cans like reddit, and the community simply being filled with salty assholes, this is a dying breed.

• Serious Occultists - These are fuckers like Phil Hine who took this shit too seriously and think that they can summon a sex ghost by fapping to sigils and stuff. Also, the people who created Ebola Chan probably fall into this category. If it's posting r34 of Eris on /x/, then you're probably dealing with a srs occultist.

• Really real Discordians - People who are in my group of Discordians and think just like me, because your discordianism is obviously fucking wrong.

• Robert Anton Wilson, also known as 'People who actually think this might be true, but don't shout about it'. This makes them the most dangerous breed of all. RAW is regarded to be the king of the Discordians, despite having a head size approximating Jupiter. RAW is what all true Discordians aspire to one day reincarnate their sorry asses backward through time into. Also the author of The Illuminatus! Trilogy. Really real Discordians don't read RAW much anymore because he had negative opinions of feminists.

Drama involving Discordians

PD.com maintains a "secret" (sign up for an account and it becomes available) board called "operation mindfuck" where they stage raids on anything from Wizardchan to Christian Forums, or most frequently, against their internet arch-enemies: the neo pagans and other assorted faggots that use sites like Mystic Wicks.

Additionally, 90% of PD.com's accounts are either banned or inactive for how much of a circlejerk the active userbase represents, and most of the threads on PD are either dead, concern themselves with mitigating trolls, and the most active tend to be trolls winning the game. Discordians are nothing but drama, and don't let them pretend otherwise.

One of the only ways to extract any form of lulz from these faggots is to make personal attacks against their more beloved members (i.e. call Nigel a filthy welfare nigger, or call Roger's daughter a disgusting carpet munching bull dyke). Hell, you can literally dominate PD.com's forums for days at a time by simply arguing in favor of /pol/ tier opinions (in PC language, of course so you're not rooted out as a troll from the get-go).

As a bunch of virulent leftist post-grads who like to sniff their own farts, you'll have days of entertainment until you finally trigger them by saying "nigger" one too many times and the 5-man community one-by-one silences you in their account settings.

Seriously, argue against any leftist opinion (esp. privledge or welfare) and you'll have the most active thread on the board for a few days.

POEE

Copyleft. All rights reversed. Ⓚ

POEE (pronounced "POEE") is an acronym for The PARATHEO-ANAMETAMYSTIKHOOD OF ERIS ESOTERIC. The first part can be taken to mean "equivalent deity, reversing beyond-mystique." We are not really esoteric, it’s just that nobody pays much attention to us.

MY HIGH REVERENCE MALACLYPSE THE YOUNGER, AB, DD, KSC, is the High Priest of POEE, and POEE is grounded in his espiskopotic revelations of The Goddess. He is called The Omnibenevolent Polyfather of Virginity in Gold.

The POEE HEAD TEMPLE is the Joshua Norton Cabal of The Discordian Society, which is located in Mal-2’s pineal gland and can be found by temporaly and spacialy locating the rest of Mal-2.

POEE has no treasury, no by-laws, no articles, no guides save Mal-2’s pineal gland, and has only one scruple -- which Mal-2 keeps on his key chain.

POEE has not registered, incorporated, or otherwise chartered with the State, and so the State does not recognize POEE or POEE Ordinations, which is only fair, because POEE does not recognize the State.

POEE has 5 DEGREES: There is the neophyte, or LEGIONNAIRE DISCIPLE. The LEGIONNAIRE DEACON, who is catching on. An Ordained POEE PRIEST/PRIESTESS or a CHAPLIN. The HIGH PRIEST, the Polyfather. And POEE =POPE=.

POEE LEGIONNAIRE DISCIPLES are authorized to initiate others as Discordian Society Legionnaires. PRIESTS appoint their own DEACONS. The POLYFATHER ordains Priests. I don’t know about the =POPES=

Disregard all the above shit about POEE

The only thing worth while in the Principia Discordia this and this as well as the contents of pages 00023 and 00054. These 4 pages alone describe much more about Discordian philosophy than any of the little joke organizational charts that people don't give a fuck about anymore.

External Links

• The terrible, terrible forum for Discordians, the self-styled 'worst forum on the Internet'. and never a truer word was said in jest. Srsly, these guys are fucking faggots.
• You haven't read it daily since 1969!?.

See Also

• Eris
• Chaos
• Cultural Marxism
• Illuminati
• Truthism
• Fnord

[Close them downOpen the records]

Discordianism is part of a series on Cults