FleetCOMM

No. He did not.

FleetCOMM is a shitty SHMUPS game that has been delayed more times than Mighty No. 9. And like MO9, it was paid for by a shitty Kickstarter. It was developed by NNASA (Not National Aeronautics and Space Administration) employee called Slade Villena (Villain). The game was finally released on May 25th except it was not, as it was only the tutorial levels, where the rest will come later. Slade is also a well-known deserter who actually tries to convince he works for NASA, when in reality he gets to clean out their shitty astronaut-diapers and mop the floors after the centrifuge machine has made people vomit excessively, though it is nothing compared to the amount of vomit that is produced when looking at his game.

The Creator

We got a badass over here

Don't hurt his precious feelings, guis

Illian Slade Villena is a former employee at Zynga, known for making the most casual of casual Facebook games, so it would only make sense if someone who used to develop Farmville were to proclaim being the leader of GamerGate. After being fired for spying on people, Slade wrote an angry reddit post. After getting shit-canned Slade decided he was going to make a Kickstarter. He actually managed his target goal of $12,000 for a shitty space shooter, that has oddly enough never won anything. He used his contact at Penny Arcade to promote the game. After successfully begging for money, Slade had the idea of trying again but this opting for a higher goal. This didn't work out as he forgot to talk to his "friends" so they could promote the game for him, so when he asked for a whopping $189,999 all he got was $1,117. So the project has been canceled until he gets famous enough from GamerGate to make people donate.

Lately he was caught telling people to hack Zoe Quinn despite all her shit already being out there, then he tried to get people to e-mail Vox, but nobody cared. Recently he was interviewed by The Escapist but it was quickly taken down, as they realized there was no point in wasting bandwidth on a complete nobody.

In short, he keeps making an ass of himself and everyone in GamerGate wishes he would just go away but he refuses because he hasn't become internet famous yet.

	“	I've had a red light of the wrist without me even gettin' kissed... I'm far, far away with my head up in the clouds	„
	—-Slade

Quitting GamerGate after getting tired of being called out on his shit

Have fun in obscurity, loser

He recently made a long-awaited (lol) return to Twitter after getting a job at NASA, as monkeys are too valuable to send into space. He then proceeded to start mocking the people that trolled him off six months ago in the first place, not realizing how sad he looked.

The Game

The game has been in development for over 4 years. And it has not improved since the first iteration.

The quality you can expect from this retard

Steam Reviews

“   so how does it play? Kind of like a steaming pile of garbage. The controls are really awkward. You use the mouse to steer the ship but the mouse buttons aren't utilized at all, requiring you to engage in some pretty awkward fingerwork on the keyboard. Enemy design consists mostly of amorphous blob like enemies, which gives you the impression that you're fighting amoebas rather than a menacing alien fleet. The game is certainly colorful and your screen will often be filled with flashing green lights and various bright artifacts but you're more likely to get a migraine than enjoyment out of it. I would rate my 30 minutes in Fleetcomm lower than coming down from an ecstasy binge in a really bad nightclub.   „     — Eligible Husbando #1     “   Fleetcomm is the most disappointing release since Rogue's dad blew his load into his mother. The game crashes on start for many people. Lets get into the graphics first because thats you see in the game. ITS NOTHING BUT PULSATING LIGHTS. Its like a nightclub had an abortion while on MDMA. The music sounds like you gave a toddler a laptop and said "make wubwub" and the result makes me want to struck deaf so I shall never hear again. This game is full of bugs, a great example is the lack of a firing sound for the gun in the game. Keep in mind, this game took 4 ♥♥♥♥ing years to develop, theres no excuse for such ♥♥♥♥♥♥ry. The game was about feqw dollars at its discounted price, but honestly I feel owed money for taking up 305 MB of HD space for this digital ♥♥♥♥. There's better things you can buy with a few dollars, like gas, or a candy bar, smokes, a gf, rope, suricide note, twitter followers, a beer, tolls at toll booths, taxes etc This game is awful, there's no reason to give this log of ♥♥♥♥ the time of day unless you're watching it burn. ALSO ITS ONLY THE TUTORIAL LEVEL AHAHAHAHAHHA   „     —Grand Moff Alexander     “   Slade has managed to finish his game but also not finish his game. This is Schrodinger's Game   „     —TTMR [#11123]     “   So this game is so unstable it somehow crashed in the first five minutes. Let that sink in. Even ignoring the drama of the developer, that alone is worth a downvote. Add in that the music and sound effects were done by Slade's cat clawing its way away from him while he did things illegal in most states and even a shill wouldn't +1 this. Oh and apparently this is just a tech demo, it's not even the full ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ed game!   „     —Celerity, Executor of Impunity     “   Four years to make this and I could only take twenty minutes. A full release shouldn't be like this. Even without that, it's just unpleasant to play. Maybe it'll be better after more updates, but this isn't the sort of game that deserves a second chance. Also, who the hell makes an episodic Shoot 'Em Up?   „     —Hissara     “   FleetCOMM is a generic SHMUP clone of asteroids. Okay. Clone may be a bit of a misnomer, because Asteroids was fun. After four years in development hell, where the developer regularly railed against the game industry, women, and his own backers, the game was finally released last night. Okay. Released may be a bit of a misnomer, as there are tutorial missions and the "promise" of a first episode soon. I wouldn't hold my breath... If the dev was a nice person, I might give him the benefit of the doubt and say 'oh, things will be improved.' But honestly, FleetCOMM was written by an angry boy who thinks that the world doesn't like him because he 'speaks truth to power.' When in actually: the world doesn't care about him; the people who have interacted with him don't like him because he is annoying, angry, and alliterative; and his game is a tech demo from 1998 (at best) that I plan on uninstalling and hope to never hear about again.   „     —wonkonpac     “   FleetCOMM is essentially a somewhat generic top-down space shooter hidden beneath layers of seizure inducing lights and violent alarm noises. I swear to god this thing gave me a headache on the first tutorial level. Speaking of tutorial levels, that's all there is. 8 tutorial levels. The actual first mission is supposed to release on the 30th of May. Expect delays. In all honesty I can't really call this a review: Most of the tutorial remains unplayed. I'd love to play more but my desire for self preservation keeps getting in the way.   „     —Slalom (҂`O´) Jones Previous Quote | Next Quote

Glitches

Glitch

NEEDS MOAR

Glitch

NEEDS EVEN MOAR

ACTUALLY NEEDS MOAR

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Response To Criticism

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B&

Gallery

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  7 minutes is a short span to mention all games ever.
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External links

• His DeviantArt
•  His Facebook
•  His previous Twitter
• Professional review - Hates it.
• The Ralph Retort's Goose looks at the game

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