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<div class="xotn-section" id="aotn">
<div class="xotn-section" id="aotn">
{{XOTN/AOTN
{{XOTN/AOTN
|title=[[Jasmine Richardson]]
|title=[[Goth]]
 
|image=JasmineR.png


|image=World-goth-day-poster.jpg


|summary=
|summary=


'''Goths''' ('''Gawths''', '''Goffs''', '''Gawff''') are a [[College|self-aggrandizing]] bunch of attention whores, whose special talent is enjoying attention while pretending to disdain it. They especially revel in posturing to incite insult, so that they can say something deep and angsty. [[Oak And Cauldron|The elitist kick they get from this is visible under their pasty pale skin.]] If under some circumstance the color of something other than skin is in question, assume it's black.


'''Jasmine Richardson''' was a [[12-year-old girl]] who, with the help of her bf, on April 23, 2006, knifed her family in the name of the [[Worldwide Masonic Conspiracy|Worldwide Furry Conspiracy]]. At 12, she is the youngest killer in [[Soviet Canuckistan]] and was a regular user of the super cereal [[emo]]-[[gangbang]] known as [[Vampirefreaks]]. Besides being a [[goth|Goff]] and getting [[in the ass|stuck in the hole]] for a decade, she is also the hottest piece of [[JB]] to commit murder [[EVAR]]. Apparently, she killed her family for the lulz and to get with her boyfriend, '''Jeremy Steinke'''{{Girllover}}, who was 23. Rumors indicate that Sean O'Neill has already prepared for Jasmine a $[[9000]] a month contract with [[Suicide Girls]] to be their head pinup, right beside [[Nazi]] superwoman RAPE BLOSSOM. She has declined to comment upon whether or not she will take [[Pimp]]master Sean up on this offer.
[[Some argue|Evolutionary social scientists postulate]] that the Goth represents an early nocturnal bifurcation from the [[Heavy Metal|Greb or Greebo]] lineage, due to its similar preponderance of [[BDSM|black clothing, leather, and spikes.]] However, this pussying-out from the well-established and resilient parent lifeform left Goths unfitted to the niche of moping around miserably in black, which has now been filled by the [[Emo]] subspecies. [[Some argue|It seems inevitable, therefore,]] that Goths will become extinct within decades unless new breeding colonies are established.
 
 


<center><big>'''[[Jasmine Richardson|"Tell My Mom She Can Have My TV And That I Love Her"]]</big></center>


<center><big>'''[[Goth|(( Happy World Gawth Day! ))]]</big></center>




|link=Jasmine Richardson
|link=Goth
   
   
|date=2026-4-23
|date=2026-5-22
|expires=2026-4-25
|expires=2026-5-24
|editor=[[User:CrackRabbit]]
|editor=[[User:CrackRabbit]]
|featured=true
|featured=true
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'''What have I missed? '''[[Jason Thomas Nichols]] was 2 days ago • [[Drug]] was 4 days ago • [[Archive.is]] was 6 days ago
'''What have I missed? [[Ebola-chan]] was 2 days ago • [[Scientology Speedrunning]] was 4 days ago • [[Clanker]] was 6 days ago
</div>
</div>

Latest revision as of 23:21, 21 May 2026

Goths (Gawths, Goffs, Gawff) are a self-aggrandizing bunch of attention whores, whose special talent is enjoying attention while pretending to disdain it. They especially revel in posturing to incite insult, so that they can say something deep and angsty. The elitist kick they get from this is visible under their pasty pale skin. If under some circumstance the color of something other than skin is in question, assume it's black.

Evolutionary social scientists postulate that the Goth represents an early nocturnal bifurcation from the Greb or Greebo lineage, due to its similar preponderance of black clothing, leather, and spikes. However, this pussying-out from the well-established and resilient parent lifeform left Goths unfitted to the niche of moping around miserably in black, which has now been filled by the Emo subspecies. It seems inevitable, therefore, that Goths will become extinct within decades unless new breeding colonies are established.


(( Happy World Gawth Day! ))


What have I missed? Ebola-chan was 2 days ago • Scientology Speedrunning was 4 days ago • Clanker was 6 days ago