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Sorostitute: Difference between revisions
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[[Image:Sorority_house.jpg|thumb|Californian sororitution house]] | [[Image:Sorority_house.jpg|thumb|Californian sororitution house]] | ||
'''Sorostitutes''' are a special breed of [[college]] student, sometimes referred to as ''whorority girls''. Their male counterparts are [[frat]]ties. Most of them attend state colleges (because thats the only place they | '''Sorostitutes''' are a special breed of [[college]] student, sometimes referred to as ''whorority girls''. Their male counterparts are [[frat]]ties. Most of them attend state colleges (because thats the only place they could get accepted), and are earning their MRS degree. Sorostitutes are apart of Sorostitutions Rings aka bitch hovels aka crack houses, which were originally created by [[God|Morgan Freeman]], and Thomas Jefferson about a hundred years ago, [[Last Thursday|last Thursday]]. Sorostitution Rings were created to serve as a place to keep women, when the women weren't cooking, cleaning, or attending to the [[fellatio|personal needs of the man]]. With the inventions of fast food and pornography, sorostitution began to decline since they became too clingy. | ||
==Sorostitutes move to college== | ==Sorostitutes move to college== | ||
Sorostitutes, like normal [[women]], needed the daily bitch slapping, [[bukkake]], and alchohol to survive. Since, sorostitution | Sorostitutes, like normal [[women]], needed the daily bitch slapping, [[bukkake]], and alchohol to survive. Since, sorostitution has declined due to [[Bill Gates]]' porno-machines, the sorostitutes were sent by [[God]], Ron Burgundy, and Darth Vader to college campuses where they'd be able to serve man better. During the move, often referred to as the '''Trail of Tears''', many sorostitutes died from lack of washing dishes and sucking multiple penises while inserting un-holy sized dildos into their vag-tanks. There are hundreds of landmarks noting the brave sorostitutes who've fallen, but they are disguised as civil war battle fields. | ||
==To become a sorostitute, you must:== | ==To become a sorostitute, you must:== | ||
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*Drink lots of cheap [[alcohol]]. | *Drink lots of cheap [[alcohol]]. | ||
*Dress like a [[slut]]. | *Dress like a [[slut]]. | ||
*Master the dark art known as [[ | *Master the dark art known as [[social media]]. | ||
*Sleep with frat boys, including the [[gay]] ones. | *Sleep with frat boys, including the [[gay]] ones. | ||
*Drive your daddy's Lexus. | *Drive your daddy's Lexus. | ||
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[[Image:SororityGirls.jpg|thumb|right|Sorostitutes in ritual outfits.]] | [[Image:SororityGirls.jpg|thumb|right|Sorostitutes in ritual outfits.]] | ||
With training, a sorostitute is easy to spot, the different [http://modifiedliving.com/sororityfiles.htm types] however, are harder to distinguish. The average sorostitute is, at any given time: | With training, a sorostitute is easy to spot, the different [https://web.archive.org/web/20080111175235/http://modifiedliving.com/sororityfiles.htm types] however, are harder to distinguish. The average sorostitute is, at any given time: | ||
*Talking loudly on her [[cell phone]] to either her [[boyfriend]] or a fellow sorostitute | *Talking loudly on her [[cell phone]] to either her [[boyfriend]] or a fellow sorostitute | ||
*Wearing either a frat mixer shirt, a sorority shirt, or designer clothing | *Wearing either a frat mixer shirt, a sorority shirt, or designer clothing (possibly bootleg) | ||
*[[Drunk]] | *[[Drunk]] | ||
* | *Sporting massive amounts of whorish make up | ||
*A bleach | *A bleach blonde with at least 2 inches of dark roots growing out | ||
*[[Orangeskin|Fake tan baked to a delightful orange color]] | *[[Orangeskin|Fake tan baked to a delightful orange color]] | ||
*Wearing more makeup than a [[clown]] and enough hairspray to deplete the ozone. | *Wearing more makeup than a [[clown]] and enough hairspray to deplete the ozone. | ||
*Incessantly using the phrase, "I know, right?" | *Incessantly using the phrase, "I know, right?" | ||
*Carrying a massive diaper bag, which contains the essential strawberry vodka, | *Carrying a massive diaper bag, which contains the essential strawberry vodka, morning after pills, and at least 68 Grey's Anatomy's quotes. | ||
*Hanging out with guys wearing | *Hanging out with guys wearing Corona t-shirts, backwards caps, khaki cargo shorts and flip-flops | ||
==See Also== | ==See Also== | ||
Latest revision as of 00:11, 24 October 2018
Sorostitutes are a special breed of college student, sometimes referred to as whorority girls. Their male counterparts are fratties. Most of them attend state colleges (because thats the only place they could get accepted), and are earning their MRS degree. Sorostitutes are apart of Sorostitutions Rings aka bitch hovels aka crack houses, which were originally created by Morgan Freeman, and Thomas Jefferson about a hundred years ago, last Thursday. Sorostitution Rings were created to serve as a place to keep women, when the women weren't cooking, cleaning, or attending to the personal needs of the man. With the inventions of fast food and pornography, sorostitution began to decline since they became too clingy.
Sorostitutes move to college
Sorostitutes, like normal women, needed the daily bitch slapping, bukkake, and alchohol to survive. Since, sorostitution has declined due to Bill Gates' porno-machines, the sorostitutes were sent by God, Ron Burgundy, and Darth Vader to college campuses where they'd be able to serve man better. During the move, often referred to as the Trail of Tears, many sorostitutes died from lack of washing dishes and sucking multiple penises while inserting un-holy sized dildos into their vag-tanks. There are hundreds of landmarks noting the brave sorostitutes who've fallen, but they are disguised as civil war battle fields.
To become a sorostitute, you must:
- Pay for your friends. Sorostitutes refer to this as sisterhood.
- Drink lots of cheap alcohol.
- Dress like a slut.
- Master the dark art known as social media.
- Sleep with frat boys, including the gay ones.
- Drive your daddy's Lexus.
- Swallow
- Solve all of your problems by either secks, oral secks, or anal secks
How to spot a sorostitute
With training, a sorostitute is easy to spot, the different types however, are harder to distinguish. The average sorostitute is, at any given time:
- Talking loudly on her cell phone to either her boyfriend or a fellow sorostitute
- Wearing either a frat mixer shirt, a sorority shirt, or designer clothing (possibly bootleg)
- Drunk
- Sporting massive amounts of whorish make up
- A bleach blonde with at least 2 inches of dark roots growing out
- Fake tan baked to a delightful orange color
- Wearing more makeup than a clown and enough hairspray to deplete the ozone.
- Incessantly using the phrase, "I know, right?"
- Carrying a massive diaper bag, which contains the essential strawberry vodka, morning after pills, and at least 68 Grey's Anatomy's quotes.
- Hanging out with guys wearing Corona t-shirts, backwards caps, khaki cargo shorts and flip-flops