Zimbabwe - Revision history

imported>Memes1: /* Fun facts */

2019-02-13T16:19:42Z

Fun facts

← Older revision		Revision as of 16:19, 13 February 2019
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	[[Image:Mugabe fist.jpg\|thumb\|300px\|You gonna get [[fisted]]!]]		[[Image:Mugabe fist.jpg\|thumb\|300px\|You gonna get [[fisted]]!]]
	[[Image:Zimbabwe!.png\|thumb\|300px\|The national flag of Zimbabwe.]]		[[Image:Zimbabwe!.png\|thumb\|300px\|The national flag of Zimbabwe.]]
	'''Zimbabwe''' is a settlement of [[niggers]] on land that was originally owned by their white slave-masters. Before the whites were kicked out by [[Hitler\|Robert Mugabe]], this country, then known as '''Rhodesia''', used to be a prosperous country built from scratch by British entrepreneurs and their African servants. Then after [[Hitler]], Britain went all [[emo]] [[fag]] and turned its back on her former colonies, leaving them alone to fence off the negrae. In less than 30 years, thanks to an [[UN\|international conspiracy]], this once wealthiest of lands was overcome by nigracommies, raped, and renamed Zimbabwe, portmanteau of the Zulu words Zimba (BIG) and bwah! (Hunger). If you were born in Zimbabwe, then [[True\|~~god~~ hates you]], but at least your cock will be more Zimba than that of an [[Azn\|Asian]].		'''Zimbabwe''' is a settlement of [[niggers]] on land that was originally owned by their white slave-masters. Before the whites were kicked out by [[Hitler\|Robert Mugabe]], this country, then known as '''Rhodesia''', used to be a prosperous country built from scratch by British entrepreneurs and their African servants. Then after [[Hitler]], Britain went all [[emo]] [[fag]] and turned its back on her former colonies, leaving them alone to fence off the negrae. In less than 30 years, thanks to an [[UN\|international conspiracy]], this once wealthiest of lands was overcome by nigracommies, raped, and renamed Zimbabwe, portmanteau of the Zulu words Zimba (BIG) and bwah! (Hunger). If you were born in Zimbabwe, then [[True\|God hates you]], but at least your cock will be more Zimba than that of an [[Azn\|Asian]].

	__TOC__		__TOC__
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	Zimbabwe exists in a parallel universe to our own, where Hitler is [[shit\|alive]], black person, and a [[communism\|commie]]. And his name is Robert Mugabe, not Hitler. Unlike dear Adolf, Uncle Bob has done nothing but run his country into the ground for the past [[at least 100\|twenty seven]] years. He also [[Animal Liberation Front\|liberated]] it from the [[butthurt]] British [[rednecks]], but [[no one]] cares except all the niggers left starving under their dear leader's heavy boot. Mugabe frequently gives speeches about how he does not like [[Tony Blair]], [[W]] or [[Mudkip]]s. Mugabe is a great [[troll]] and has provided [[ruination]] on his country to the point where it will [[final solution\|be trolled to death]]. [[Some argue]] that Mugabe is such a huge troll because of [[piss\|syphilis]] in the brain.		Zimbabwe exists in a parallel universe to our own, where Hitler is [[shit\|alive]], black person, and a [[communism\|commie]]. And his name is Robert Mugabe, not Hitler. Unlike dear Adolf, Uncle Bob has done nothing but run his country into the ground for the past [[at least 100\|twenty seven]] years. He also [[Animal Liberation Front\|liberated]] it from the [[butthurt]] British [[rednecks]], but [[no one]] cares except all the niggers left starving under their dear leader's heavy boot. Mugabe frequently gives speeches about how he does not like [[Tony Blair]], [[W]] or [[Mudkip]]s. Mugabe is a great [[troll]] and has provided [[ruination]] on his country to the point where it will [[final solution\|be trolled to death]]. [[Some argue]] that Mugabe is such a huge troll because of [[piss\|syphilis]] in the brain.

			[[File:BlackHitler.jpg\|thumb\|Black Hitler]]

	===[[IRL Trolling]]===		===[[IRL Trolling]]===
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	*Proof that everything is better in a white world.		*Proof that everything is better in a white world.
	*Troll your [[liberal]] friends by saying that Robert Mugabe is [[an hero]] for overthrowing the evil racist whites in Zimbabwe. Guaranteed to cause drama because the libtards will either call you a [[fascist]] for supporting him, or will admit that things really were better under Smith.		*Troll your [[liberal]] friends by saying that Robert Mugabe is [[an hero]] for overthrowing the evil racist whites in Zimbabwe. Guaranteed to cause drama because the libtards will either call you a [[fascist]] for supporting him, or will admit that things really were better under Smith.
			*It's not gay if its in Zimbabwe!

	==Things Worth More than a Zimbabwe Dollar==		==Things Worth More than a Zimbabwe Dollar==
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	Image:Zimbabwe boy with money.jpg\|[[Die Antwoord\|I'M RICH BITCH]]		Image:Zimbabwe boy with money.jpg\|[[Die Antwoord\|I'M RICH BITCH]]
	Image:One Hundred Trillion Dollars from Zimbabwe.JPG\|One Hundred Trillion Dollars.		Image:One Hundred Trillion Dollars from Zimbabwe.JPG\|One Hundred Trillion Dollars.
			File:Zimbabwe_mugabe.jpg
			File:Zimbabwe_pwnt.jpg

	</gallery></center>		</gallery></center>

imported>One With The Lulz at 21:53, 17 June 2015

2015-06-17T21:53:43Z

← Older revision	Revision as of 21:53, 17 June 2015
(No difference)

imported>One With The Lulz at 21:53, 17 June 2015

2015-06-17T21:53:43Z

← Older revision	Revision as of 21:53, 17 June 2015
(No difference)

imported>One With The Lulz at 21:53, 17 June 2015

2015-06-17T21:53:43Z

← Older revision	Revision as of 21:53, 17 June 2015
(No difference)

imported>One With The Lulz at 21:53, 17 June 2015

2015-06-17T21:53:43Z

New page

{|style="border: 3px solid #99CCFF; background: #CCCCCC;" cellpadding=15 cellspacing=0 align="center"
|[[Image:ED CLEANER 2.jpg]]
|<big>'''This country needs a serious clean up'''</big><br> [[South_Africa|Somebody]] should [[Genocide|do something about it.]]
|}

<center><youtube>QVCzYLxBK74</youtube></center>

[[Image:Mugabe fist.jpg|thumb|300px|You gonna get [[fisted]]!]]
[[Image:Zimbabwe!.png|thumb|300px|The national flag of Zimbabwe.]]
'''Zimbabwe''' is a settlement of [[niggers]] on land that was originally owned by their white slave-masters. Before the whites were kicked out by [[Hitler|Robert Mugabe]], this country, then known as '''Rhodesia''', used to be a prosperous country built from scratch by British entrepreneurs and their African servants. Then after [[Hitler]], Britain went all [[emo]] [[fag]] and turned its back on her former colonies, leaving them alone to fence off the negrae. In less than 30 years, thanks to an [[UN|international conspiracy]], this once wealthiest of lands was overcome by nigracommies, raped, and renamed Zimbabwe, portmanteau of the Zulu words Zimba (BIG) and bwah! (Hunger). If you were born in Zimbabwe, then [[True|god hates you]], but at least your cock will be more Zimba than that of an [[Azn|Asian]].

__TOC__

==The Leader==

[[Image:Mugabe bixnood.jpg|thumb|Muhfuggen [[Bix nood|bix nood!]]]]

Zimbabwe exists in a parallel universe to our own, where Hitler is [[shit|alive]], black person, and a [[communism|commie]]. And his name is Robert Mugabe, not Hitler. Unlike dear Adolf, Uncle Bob has done nothing but run his country into the ground for the past [[at least 100|twenty seven]] years. He also [[Animal Liberation Front|liberated]] it from the [[butthurt]] British [[rednecks]], but [[no one]] cares except all the niggers left starving under their dear leader's heavy boot. Mugabe frequently gives speeches about how he does not like [[Tony Blair]], [[W]] or [[Mudkip]]s. Mugabe is a great [[troll]] and has provided [[ruination]] on his country to the point where it will [[final solution|be trolled to death]]. [[Some argue]] that Mugabe is such a huge troll because of [[piss|syphilis]] in the brain.

===[[IRL Trolling]]===

[[Image:Mugabe Parade.jpg|thumb|right|Man of the people.]]

Recently Mugabe [http://www.iol.co.za/index.php?set_id=1&click_id=2646&art_id=vn20070313003314645C949793 IRL trolled every opposition party in his country]. Mugabe and [[police|his buddies]] traveled the length of Zimbabwe in their "million-dollar-moblies" (that run off the smiles of [[AIDS]] orphans) [[pwning]] every major political leader that is not Uncle Bob. The most notable [[troll]] is that of Morgan Tsvangirai, who so far has been able to "[[NO U]]!" all of Mugabe's previous troll attempts. But now reports confirm that Tsvangirai has indeed [[fail|surrender]]ed to the Bob Mugabe [[Partyvan]].

{{quote|[[I did it for the lulz]]|Mugabe|regarding the epic troll.}}

===Ian Douglas Smith===

[[Image:IansmithDM.jpg|thumb|[[Rebel]]]]

Smith was the former Prime Minister of Rhodesia who said "[[fuck you]]" to England and the world while he and the whites took control. He also had the ability to predict the future.[http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/obituaries/article2910986.ece]

Contrary to popular belief, Rhodesia didn't actually have racist laws, but what was called "qualified franchise", in which you had to have a basic education in order to vote. Most blacks did not qualify but the Rhodesian government struggled to educate them, even setting up [[affirmative action]] for blacks in universities. This was to prevent people like Mugabe from getting elected by an uneducated, superstitious, tribalist majority who quite frankly hated others of different tribes. Seriously this isn't even a conspiracy theory you can learn this from any bit of cursory research and despite that it is considered fringe and "racist" to defend Ian Smith or Rhodesia even though any sane human being of even an anti-racist left-wing persuasion can see the logic of having such a policy.

{{quote|It was better under Smith.|The black majority.}}

==History==
<center><youtube>bvfrOxGLR_8</youtube></center>

[[Image:UDISigning.jpg|thumb|right|Not a black person in sight.]]

[[Last Thursday]], the [[English]] discovered Zimbabwe, told everyone to "[[STFU]]!" and decided to call it [[white|Rhodesia]]. This claiming of the country to be their own was the best thing to happen to Zimbabwe and it prospered as "the breadbasket of Africa" [http://www.spectator.org/dsp_article.asp?art_id=8020], a major exporter and the inventor of the [[Time Cube]] even though the [[niggers|local populace]] benefited little from this.

In the 1960s, the British Empire suddenly turned all "anti-racist" as it decolonized. Despite the tremendous sacrifices white Rhodesians made in [[World War II]], Prime Minister [[fag|Harold Wilson]] demanded that they hand power over to the uneducated tribalist majority, who would undoubtedly elect a [[communist]] to run the country into the ground. Fed up with British liberalism and political correctness, Rhodesia's [[final boss|leader]] Ian Smith declared independence.

At the time of independence, Rhodesia had an extremely high standard of living, and it's black majority enjoyed access to superb medical care, education, plentiful job opportunities, lots of food, and the highest standard of living any African blacks had. There was no enforced racial segregation of any kind (making Rhodesia less racist than [[America]]) and as stated previously, only the educated could vote, meaning that any blacks who graduated high school could vote. In fact, many blacks from neighboring countries [[Mexico|illegally immigrated]] into this racist hellhole. Many blacks even volunteered for army service, and half of the Rhodesian Army was black by 1976.

Rather than actually taking advantage of the plentiful opportunities Rhodesia, and getting their children educated so they could vote and have a gradual transition to majority rule when they could be trusted not to fuck it up by voting according to tribal loyalties, as Ian Smith intended, butthurt uneducated niggers formed [[terrorist]] groups, the largest of which was led by Robert Mugabe, and began biting the hand that fed them. Thus started a decade-long [[war]], which involved Comrade Mugabe's freedom fighters carrying out internationally-supported acts of liberation such as planting bombs in department stores, killing black people who they thought were exercising their democratic right to support Ian Smith, gruesomely torturing and sometimes murdering entire families, and shooting down civilian airliners.

Meanwhile, the butthurt British declared Rhodesia's achieving independence not on their terms illegal, and had the Pinko-Commie [[UN]] impose sanctions. Rhodesia was shunned and boycotted by almost the entire world, except mainly for [[South Africa]] and a few brave Americans who went to Rhodesia to fight with the Rhodesian Army. At the same time, Mugabe got support from around the globe. Western leaders tripped over each other in the race to support the terrorist killers. The UN routinely slammed Rhodesia for attacking terrorist bases in neighboring African countries as a violation of national sovereignty. Famous people, including the Queen of the Netherlands herself, made huge donations enabling the "freedom fighters" to buy Soviet military equipment to kill and maim more Rhodesians. Church pastors in Britain praised Mugabe's butchers as "Christian soldiers".

Despite being shunned by the world, and despite being in a constant state of war during which time large portions of the white male populaiton were on duty to keep the nigger terrorists at bay, Rhodesia not only survived, but thrived. It's economy grew extremely fast, and Salisbury's GDP was rising faster than London's throughout the 1970s, causing much butthurt to everyone.

In the late 1970s, South Africa, in a fit of stupid, decided to sell out Rhodesia to build relations with nigger Commie countries. Thus Rhodesia's downfall was assured. After almost 20 years of standing up to the world and to terrorism, Rhodesia was forced to give. The country was renamed Zimbabwe and handed over to black majority rule, resulting in Mugabe getting elected.

As Ian Smith predicted, Mugabe proceeded to completely fuck up the country. First, he massacred the Ndebele people en masse to eliminate a challenge to his power. Then, he wrecked the economy through [[socialist]] policies, turning the country into one of the poorest in the world. And in his biggest stroke of genius yet, he kicked out the white farmers and handed over the huge commercial farms that once fed Africa to his incompetent cronies who didn't know the first thing about farming, ensuring lots of starvation and butthurt.

Meanwhile, the world, satisfied that it's left-wing "anti-colonialist" objectives had been achieved, looked away, justice had been done.

==[[baby fuck]]==
News reports are always telling how 1-year olds are regularly raped in Zimbabwe because people there believing deflowering a virgin cures AIDS. And like the USA, kids (with the exception of [[Chris-chan]]) lose their virginities earlier and earlier so you gotta get em real young to have them still be a virgin. However, all babies born in Zimbabwe are AIDS babies so instead of curing AIDS, the opposite happens.

==Economy==

[[Image:100billion.jpg|200px|thumb|right|Zimbabwean Currency]]

None. Zimbabwe's exports were once food. They had so much fucking food they could export to the rest of Africa. But then Uncle Bob started seizing white-owned farms and giving them to the 'people' (his best friends and generals) and everyone knows cotton pickers can't do anything, especially farm and feed themselves. So now they are all starving like Ethiopia. Now the only thing Zimbabwe exports to other countries is refugees. That's right - things are so horrific in Zimbabwe that the population is actually fleeing INTO [[South Africa]]. Zimbabwe's inflation rate is also [[over 9000|over 9,000%]] (srsly: 231,000,000+%, according to [[Communist|BBC]] [[Retards|News]] [[Last Thursday|last Thursday]]), so if you want to buy bread I hope you have a wheelbarrow handy (wheelbarrows are the currency in Zimbabwe, since they ran out of [[money]]). If you want to do a fun economic experiment, make some [[Bono|batshit insane whites]] [[do it faggot|hand your farm over]] to Zimbabweans and watch it completely turn to [[AIDS]] and dust three seconds later because nigras fail at [[economics]]. Of course, liberals will accuse you of being a colonialist pig for not respecting African [[emo]]tions. But was we all know, Africa has no emotions besides of [[AIDS]] and [[truth|nigras have no souls]].
On recent years however the black market (redundancy) flourished with a surplus production of Jenkem, currently being exported to Civilization to make the sauce in White Castle burgers.

===Operation Murambatsvina===

[[Image:Zimbabwe shopping.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Shopping in Zimbabwe.]]

The Zimbabwe government recently [[pwned]] many townships in order to get rid of the country's black market for selling food-stuffs and other essentials to live. Since there is no black market for '''FOOD''' in Zimbabwe, this means Zimbabwe "normal" food must literally be shit and [[AIDS]]. Living is strictly prohibited in [[Zimbabwe]], and any attempt to do so is punishable by [[death]].

President Mugabe claims the campaign is meant to get rid of structures that have sprouted around urban centers and are seen as a haven for illegal traders in foreign currency and scarce food items. In normal terms, this means President Mugabe wants no structures in his country, nor food because his country is to good for food from white people. Damn black person president.

==Politics==
President Mugabe IS politics. There is no [[win]] for anyone besides Mugabe.

==Ark of the Covenant==
In my Zimbabwe? It's more likely than you think! A tribe called the Lemba lives in southern Zimbabwe, and are totally Jews (for srsly). They had the Ark, but ditched it in a cave when it got a little burned. Now it's in a museum in Zimbabwe. Mugabe is most likely talking to God through it, and punishing the nigras according to God's plan.

==Cholera==
There is no cholera in Zimbabwe. At all. None. Saying there might be some would be as outrageous and pointless as suggesting there might be gays in [[Iran]].
*http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/7777178.stm

==Fun facts==
[[Image:100-trillion-dollars.jpg|180px|right]]
*If you are [[white]] and are in Zimbabwe, you will be [[raped]] by war veterans [http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/1471148.stm].
*If you are a[[black| chimp]] and in Zimbabwe, you will be [[pwned]] by the government [http://www.africancrisis.org/Photo.asp?Subject=MUGRAMP].
*Zimbabweans used electricity before they discovered that [[a cat is fine too|a candle is fine too]].
*It is assumed the band [[shit nobody cares about|ZZTop]] lives at the uppermost region of Zimbabwe after the [[Jews]] got jealous of their look. Bad joke? Nevermiiiiiinnnd!
*Robert Mugabe is the only dictator in the world ever.
*Proof that everything is better in a white world.
*Troll your [[liberal]] friends by saying that Robert Mugabe is [[an hero]] for overthrowing the evil racist whites in Zimbabwe. Guaranteed to cause drama because the libtards will either call you a [[fascist]] for supporting him, or will admit that things really were better under Smith.

==Things Worth More than a Zimbabwe Dollar==
With Zimbabwe's current economic state, many surprising items are now worth more than a Zimbabwe dollar. Some examples are:
*[[NeoPets|Neopoints]] [http://www.neoitemsnow.com/Neopoints.html]
*''Monopoly'' Money [http://www.unclesgames.com/product_info.php/products_id/631]
*[[Emo]] Life Insurance payout
*[[Chasethehedgehog|Chasethehedgehog's]] Art
*[[Operation LIONCASH|LIONCASH]]
*Enron stock
*Flooz [http://news.cnet.com/2100-1017-271385.html]

*Just about everything besides [[Your Mom]]

==Gallery==
<center><gallery perrow="5">
Image:Niceass.jpg|Common food item found at a local market in Zimbabwe.
Image:Eish.jpg|Air travel in Zimbabwe.
Image:Zimbabwe_beer_cost.jpg|The price of beer in Zimbabwe.
Image:Mugabwe205.jpg|Mugabe's last election campaign.
Image:Zimbabtrans.jpg|Road travel in Zimbabwe.
Image:White Mugabe.jpg
Image:Rhodie Elephant.jpg|Whoever made this is either dead or in exile.
Image:Smith UDI.gif|The [[freedom|Unilateral Declaration of Independence]] as it happened.
Image:Zimbabwe boy with money.jpg|[[Die Antwoord|I'M RICH BITCH]]
Image:One Hundred Trillion Dollars from Zimbabwe.JPG|One Hundred Trillion Dollars.
</gallery></center>

== See Also ==
*[[Jenkem]] - originally from Zimbabwe
*[[Niggers]]
*[[White people]]
*[[The Big Bang Theory|Bazinga]]

==Links==
*[http://www.africancrisis.org/photos43.asp Zimbabwe government doing like only they know how.]<br>
*[http://www.mugabe.piczo.com/?cr=6 Official site]<br>
*[http://www.sokwanele.com/ Fan site]
*[http://www.cwporter.com/rhodesia.html Fair and Balanced memories of Rhodesia]
*[http://quirinox.net/galleries/4Chan%20-%20Random/no%2520niggers.jpg Fan site #2]

{{commonwealth}}
{{Afro}}

[[Category:Locations]]