Tom Green - Revision history

Couscous at 15:59, 7 April 2026

2026-04-07T15:59:51Z

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	'''PROTIP:''' TOM ENJOYS TALKING ABOUT THIS!!! CALL HIM AND [[Troll\|TELL]] HIM YOUR THOUGHTS ON THE MATTER.		'''PROTIP:''' TOM ENJOYS TALKING ABOUT THIS!!! CALL HIM AND [[Troll\|TELL]] HIM YOUR THOUGHTS ON THE MATTER.

			==Videos==

			<center><youtube>ZV7aOnX7XeE</youtube></center>

	==Gallery==		==Gallery==

Paul in the Mall at 01:23, 1 April 2026

2026-04-01T01:23:12Z

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	{{Portals\|chans\|tv}}		{{Portals\|chans\|tv}}
	~~{{Television}}~~
	{{Canada}}		{{Canada}}
	{{Mediawhores}}		{{Mediawhores}}

Paul in the Mall at 01:22, 1 April 2026

2026-04-01T01:22:57Z

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	*[irc://irc.rizon.net/tomgreen The official Tom Green internets channel]		*[irc://irc.rizon.net/tomgreen The official Tom Green internets channel]
	*[http://www.TomGreen.com Tom Green's Internet TV site and XXX gay porn]		*[http://www.TomGreen.com Tom Green's Internet TV site and XXX gay porn]
	*~~[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/~~Tom_Green_(polygamist) Tom Green's Wikipedia article] - According to TOW, he married a 13 year old girl, got her pregnant before she turned 14, and Tom Green was convicted of child rape.		*{{Wikilink\|Tom_Green_(polygamist)\|Tom Green's Wikipedia article}} - According to TOW, he married a 13 year old girl, got her pregnant before she turned 14, and Tom Green was convicted of child rape.

	{{~~4chan~~}}		{{Portals\|chans\|tv}}
	{{Television}}		{{Television}}
	{{Canada}}		{{Canada}}

Couscous at 01:15, 1 April 2026

2026-04-01T01:15:22Z

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	[[Image:Tombreakdown.gif\|thumb\|right\|Tom Green's house on a good night.]]		[[Image:Tombreakdown.gif\|thumb\|right\|Tom Green's house on a good night.]]

	'''Tom Green''' is a Canadian-born, [[batshit]] insane Los Angeles-based comedian and innovator of [[lulz]], [[hell\|going through a period of hell no performing artist would ever wish for themselves]]. Once a favorite of [[MTV]]-watching [[13-year-old boys]] and [[Tom Anderson\|Drag Queens]], Green demoted himself, through frustration of being terminal [[fail]] with Hollywood, to performing his comedy on the internets. He is famous for marrying [[celebrity\|Drew Barrymore]], and for divorcing her four months later. Green also [[rap\|performs hip-hop]] even though he is, by all accounts, [[Canada\|Canadian]].		'''Tom Green''' is a Canadian-born, [[batshit]] insane Los Angeles-based comedian and innovator of [[lulz]], [[hell\|going through a period of hell no performing artist would ever wish for themselves]]. Once a favorite of [[MTV]]-watching [[13-year-old boys]] and [[Tom Anderson\|Drag Queens]], Green demoted himself, through frustration of being a terminal [[fail]] with Hollywood, to performing his comedy on the internets, being invited warmly by /[[b/tards]]. He is famous for marrying [[celebrity\|Drew Barrymore]], and for divorcing her four months later. Green also [[rap\|performs hip-hop]] even though he is, by all accounts, [[Canada\|Canadian]].

	Green is also the last comedian to let [[cancer]] pwn his comedy career since the late [[Bill Hicks]]. During his time battling what became known as "The Cancer Ball Scare", Hollywood believed he was stricken with AIDS, and wanted nothing to do with him anymore. Since then, he has broken his leg in a Hollywood Hills skateboarding accident, published an autobiography that no one bought, and kept plugging along with his Internet TV show [[asspie\|without a clue on how to market it better]], despite the A-list guests/friends he invited to his house for his show. He pathetically streams his Internet talk show from his own living room since no major media market has the [[ball\|balls]] to put up any more money for Green, but are more than willing to support others who fail harder than Chevy Chase trying to be Johnny Carson.		Green is also the last comedian to let [[cancer]] pwn his comedy career since the late [[Bill Hicks]]. During his time battling what became known as "The Cancer Ball Scare", Hollywood believed he was stricken with AIDS, and wanted nothing to do with him anymore. Since then, he has broken his leg in a Hollywood Hills skateboarding accident, published an autobiography that no one bought, and kept plugging along with his Internet TV show [[asspie\|without a clue on how to market it better]], despite the A-list guests/friends he invited to his house for his show. He pathetically streams his Internet talk show from his own living room since no major media market has the [[ball\|balls]] to put up any more money for Green, but are more than willing to support others who fail harder than Chevy Chase trying to be Johnny Carson.
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	*[irc://irc.rizon.net/tomgreen The official Tom Green internets channel]		*[irc://irc.rizon.net/tomgreen The official Tom Green internets channel]
	*[http://www.TomGreen.com Tom Green's Internet TV site and XXX gay porn]		*[http://www.TomGreen.com Tom Green's Internet TV site and XXX gay porn]
	*[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom_Green_(polygamist) Tom Green's Wikipedia article] According to TOW, he married a 13 year old girl, got her pregnant before she turned 14, and Tom Green was convicted of child rape.		*[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom_Green_(polygamist) Tom Green's Wikipedia article] - According to TOW, he married a 13 year old girl, got her pregnant before she turned 14, and Tom Green was convicted of child rape.

	{{4chan}}		{{4chan}}
			{{Television}}
			{{Canada}}
	{{Mediawhores}}		{{Mediawhores}}
	~~{{Television}}~~
	[[Category:TV Shows]]		[[Category:TV Shows]]
	[[category:people\|Green, Tom]]		[[category:people\|Green, Tom]]
	[[Category:Chans]]		[[Category:Chans]]

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	{{4chan}}		{{4chan}}
			{{Mediawhores}}
	{{Television}}		{{Television}}
	[[Category:TV Shows]]		[[Category:TV Shows]]
	[[category:people\|Green, Tom]]		[[category:people\|Green, Tom]]
	[[Category:Chans]]		[[Category:Chans]]

imported>Cobaltcat: /* Gallery */

2018-05-26T19:00:05Z

Gallery

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	On 08/16/06, the [[/b/tards]] invaded Tom Green's call in show. Tom Green held up a sheet of paper reading '''B''' and put on an afro wig to accompany his suit. He also endured an hour of [[Desu]] spamming, "[[The Great Habbo Raid of July 2006\|Pool's Closed]]", and "do a barrel roll!", all of which are popular [[4chan]] [[memes]].		On 08/16/06, the [[/b/tards]] invaded Tom Green's call in show. Tom Green held up a sheet of paper reading '''B''' and put on an afro wig to accompany his suit. He also endured an hour of [[Desu]] spamming, "[[The Great Habbo Raid of July 2006\|Pool's Closed]]", and "do a barrel roll!", all of which are popular [[4chan]] [[memes]].

	By the end of the show however, Green had had enough. He joined his guest in announcing "thanks to you assholes this will no longer be a call in show". The show immediately following Green, "Girl Talk", was also completely ruined by [[/b/]]. They were bombarded for three hours with "Osaka porn", "barrel roll", [[desu]] [[spam]], "[[IMMA CHARGIN MAH LAZER\|shoop da whoop]]" and other such [[memes]] that never were very funny anyway.		By the end of the show however, Green had had enough. He joined his guest in announcing "thanks to you assholes this will no longer be a call in show". The show immediately following Green, "Girl Talk", was also completely ruined by [[B\|/b/]]. They were bombarded for three hours with "Osaka porn", "barrel roll", [[desu]] [[spam]], "[[IMMA CHARGIN MAH LAZER\|shoop da whoop]]" and other such [[memes]] that never were very funny anyway.

	====Aftermath====		====Aftermath====
	The "raids" were met with mixed feelings on [[/b/]], there were those who were [[lol]]ling out loud, and then there were those who criticized the action in a desperate attempt to uphold the [[/b/]] SUPER SEKRET ELITE clique environment.		The "raids" were met with mixed feelings on [[B\|/b/]], there were those who were [[lol]]ling out loud, and then there were those who criticized the action in a desperate attempt to uphold the [[B\|/b/]] SUPER SEKRET ELITE clique environment.

	===07/12/07 - /b/reaking news!===		===07/12/07 - /b/reaking news!===
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			File:Tomgreen1 1.jpg
	</gallery></center>		</gallery></center>

imported>Weasel: /* Links */

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imported>Weasel: /* Links */

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imported>Weasel: /* Links */

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imported>Weasel: /* Links */

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New page

[[File:TG IRC Logo.png|center|You know what to do...]]

[[Image:Tomsup.jpg|thumb|right|Tom Green has been going to [[4chan]] longer than you.]]

[[Image:Tom-Green_who_was_pizza.png|thumb|Tom gets [[Raid|a token]] of /b/'s appreciation.]]

[[Image:Tombreakdown.gif|thumb|right|Tom Green's house on a good night.]]

'''Tom Green''' is a Canadian-born, [[batshit]] insane Los Angeles-based comedian and innovator of [[lulz]], [[hell|going through a period of hell no performing artist would ever wish for themselves]]. Once a favorite of [[MTV]]-watching [[13-year-old boys]] and [[Tom Anderson|Drag Queens]], Green demoted himself, through frustration of being terminal [[fail]] with Hollywood, to performing his comedy on the internets. He is famous for marrying [[celebrity|Drew Barrymore]], and for divorcing her four months later. Green also [[rap|performs hip-hop]] even though he is, by all accounts, [[Canada|Canadian]].

Green is also the last comedian to let [[cancer]] pwn his comedy career since the late [[Bill Hicks]]. During his time battling what became known as "The Cancer Ball Scare", Hollywood believed he was stricken with AIDS, and wanted nothing to do with him anymore. Since then, he has broken his leg in a Hollywood Hills skateboarding accident, published an autobiography that no one bought, and kept plugging along with his Internet TV show [[asspie|without a clue on how to market it better]], despite the A-list guests/friends he invited to his house for his show. He pathetically streams his Internet talk show from his own living room since no major media market has the [[ball|balls]] to put up any more money for Green, but are more than willing to support others who fail harder than Chevy Chase trying to be Johnny Carson.

Green is currently doing [[hookers and blow]] with [[Carson Daly]], thus leaving his internet show open to memes and hackers.

Tom Green raids can be found on [[Tomgreen|#tomgreen]] and [[4chan]] and are mostly carried out by individuals who are butthurt that Green has achieved [[Winnar|success]] as a glorified [[attention whore]], whilst they still toil in their parents' basement.

==Tom Green Show (Original)==
[[Image:Tom1992.jpg|thumb|Tom Green circa 1992. Note the full head of hair.]]
[[Image:TomGreenusualexpression.jpg|thumb|Tom Green having a seizure.]]

Done back in his native homeland of [[Canada|Canadia]], Tom Green started his show in 1994 on public access. It predated and was the main source of theft for ''[[Jackass]]''. This show actually kicked a lot of serious ass, as Tom was once an [[IRL troll]] extraordinaire. Tom did crazy shit like slicing a rotting raccoon in half with a chainsaw in front of a live audience. The show featured a lot of content that would be censored in any other country such as [[Furry|bestiality]], and [[South Park|swearing]]. Other [[I did it for the lulz|lulz maneuvers]] of this show included:
*Sucking on cow udders [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VjO4vk6sGWQ]
*Humping dead animals [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ERDL0BxRXQ]
*Creating statues of his father beating/anally raping his mother [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cQ9iqKuu0bE]
*Pissing off soccer moms by stealing the ball [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J4D4V9dkoxc]
*Saving his parents from a fire at 3 in the morning [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=10nkDmJhHDw]
*Turning his dad's car into "The Slutmobile" [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RLMBtvkA7aQ]
*Making fun of cripples [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3dOJVKEnuvI]
*Fucking with the intercom in stores [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1IjT5Q12lvc]
*Attempting to play baseball encased in a bubble [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NgQgiVRsuLc]

Tom often created alter egos to do a variety of fucking [[awesome]] things:
*Homeboy - A wigger who took an ax to a cow's head and proceeded to shuck the brains out with his bare hands to make a brain boat in a segment aptly titled "Cow Brain Boat". [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=18I0oer-mco]
*Burning Feet Man - A superhero who had a gasoline accident and decided to help mankind with his newfound power as a guide and beacon to the average citizen. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sf_0l3z8UMA]
*Hockey Guy - A man who took his ice hockey to the street in full equipment, pissing off [[retard|little skater faggots]] and making them squeak, "What's wrong with you!?" [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Y24meE7Jrc]
*Cumdumpster - A woman trying to improve herself with various skin creams and inspiring young people all over. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HDYObC7B7kU]
*Scuba-Hood - A professional diver who works for the bank, stealing change from the poor (mall fountains) and giving it to the rich (the bank). [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bfKcHb7H3I8]

===Horse===
During one episode, Tom Green put on a rubber [[horse]] head creating a legendary meme.
<center><youtube>4QTcKdzcoiE</youtube></center>

==His Monotonically Decreasing Career==

===Tom Green Show ([[MTV]] version)===
He was picked up by SUPER-COOL XTREME [[MTV]] and moved his show to [[America]] in 1999. Unfortunately this show turned out to be a stripped down, censored, and basically fagged up version of the original.

===The New Tom Green Show===
Now if the MTV version wasn't shitty enough, he made a "New" show, which was his lame ass attempt at a talk show. Was probably ''the'' most [[unfunny]] show since ''[[Seinfeld]]''. This is when Tom Green took a major nosedive.

===Cancer===
When the [[EFG|epic fail gods]] were about to descend upon him and put the [[banhammer]] on his show, Tom Green took drastic measures. In order to generate more lulz, he put his nutsack in a microwave. He did this so he could get [[cancer]] and televise it, since [[Old meme|cancer was funny as hell]]. However, this stunt [[failed]] as [[EPIC|hard]] as his marriage to Drew Barrymore did, so that [[2007|today]] [[Mr. T|we pity the]] kids with cancer for reminding us of Tom Green.

===Marriage to Drew Barrymore===
Green's marriage to [[dyke|Barrymore]] was doomed from the start. Her asshole Hollywood friends ([[celebrity|particularly her ''Charlie's Angels'' castmates]]) frequently snubbed Tom, Barrymore's erratic behavior was never full of [[lulz]], and the coup de gras, a tabloid blurb of Drew liplocking a [[dyke|whore]] threw their relationship into complete [[fail|divorce fail]]. Of course, Barrymore is not totally to blame, since Green was being too much of a cancerous-ball [[asspie]] to notice the [[whore|damaged goods]] he was banging.

*''Mathematicians have argued that since he contracted cancer before he married Drew Barrymore that this period of his career was not truly monotonically decreasing. However, later calculations determined that marrying Drew Barrymore is indeed worse than contracting cancer, within a insignificant margin of error.'''

On August 26, 2008, at 2:10 PM EST, Tom (yes, the real Tom) posted the following message on the drewbarrymore.com forums:

{{quote|Hey gang. I posted a nice email here yesterday, but I guess it got deleted? I was just popping by to say how glad I am to see Drew on the web! I am myself really into the web. Just wanted to send some positive energy this way to all you Drew fans! I hope you guys and gals are all having a wonderful day!

Tom Green}}

==Tom Green's House Tonight==

[[Image:TGPRTYHRD.gif|thumb|right|[[Party_Hard|PARTY HARD!]]]]

No longer a [[mainstream]] celebrity, Tom is now playing the [[Internet celebrity]] game by inviting his famous friends, washed-up celebrities and A-list stars (who always seem to feel out of place or jolted by having a talk-show backdrop in the middle of a living room) to appear on his show, which has produced a number of [[lulz]].

[[Image:TomgreenNYPA.jpg|thumb|left|Anonymous calls Tom out on his faggotry.]]

In August 2008 Tom, desperate for ratings, decided it was a [[Lame|good idea]] to incessantly beg viewers to call and/or text their friends and get them to also tune in to his show. Many anons saw this for what it was: a [[Personal_army|personal army]] request, and had no qualms about spamming his email page with [[Copypasta|copypasta]] informing Tom that [[STFU|the internet is not his personal ratings army.]]

===ACHTUNG===
Tom always makes people wait for his show using an "Achtung" screen.

During this period of time, Victor starts playing Duran Duran, NIN and Nigger Music™. Frustratingly, Victor always puts up the "Achtung" screen 1-17 hours before the show actually starts. It is rumored that during that period of time Victor rapes Asian men that he [[Josef_Fritzl|keeps in his basement.]]

==How To Sound Like A Sketchy, Insincere, [[Newfag|Prankster]]==
This is a short lists of tips on how to ensure that Tom Green hangs up before you can possibly say anything of [[lulz|value or importance]].
* Say "uhh" between words, uhh, in awkward places.
* Ask a bullshit attempt at a sincere question, you might as well have trolled.
* Act nervous (like stage fright nervous, not starstruck nervous).
* Immediately jump into your question, without the normal pleasantries, talk as quickly as possible!
* Yell something [[meme|retarded]] the second he says "Hello, you're on the air!"
**This makes it exponentially harder for subsequent callers to gain Tom Green's trust. Way to be a team player, guy!

==Infamous List of Tom Green Raids==

[[Image:Tom4chan.jpg|thumb|left|Tom on [[4chan]].]]

===08/16/06 Raid===
On 08/16/06, the [[/b/tards]] invaded Tom Green's call in show. Tom Green held up a sheet of paper reading '''B''' and put on an afro wig to accompany his suit. He also endured an hour of [[Desu]] spamming, "[[The Great Habbo Raid of July 2006|Pool's Closed]]", and "do a barrel roll!", all of which are popular [[4chan]] [[memes]].

By the end of the show however, Green had had enough. He joined his guest in announcing "thanks to you assholes this will no longer be a call in show". The show immediately following Green, "Girl Talk", was also completely ruined by [[/b/]]. They were bombarded for three hours with "Osaka porn", "barrel roll", [[desu]] [[spam]], "[[IMMA CHARGIN MAH LAZER|shoop da whoop]]" and other such [[memes]] that never were very funny anyway.

====Aftermath====
The "raids" were met with mixed feelings on [[/b/]], there were those who were [[lol]]ling out loud, and then there were those who criticized the action in a desperate attempt to uphold the [[/b/]] SUPER SEKRET ELITE clique environment.

===07/12/07 - /b/reaking news!===
At 2AM EST on 7/12/07, Tom held the ''Tom Green Show'' "in the middle of the night" version. This followed a show the previous day where he hocked off a bunch of junk on eBay, then [[woman|PMS'd]] at his camera operator before ending the show half an hour early. Tom appeared [[drunk]] and spent half the show ducking behind his desk and trying to [[wigger|rap]]. He got one prank call and afterwards was literally screaming "[[Do a barrel roll|BARREL ROLL]]" and "[[Mudkip|MUDKLIFFS]]" at every caller. Evidently, he plans to hold late-night shows semi-regularly, and no trace of the show exists on his site.

===06/03/08 - [[Gentlemen]]===

[[Image:Tom Green Sup b.jpg|thumb|left]]

On 6/3/08 at approximately 1:04 AM Eastern Tom Green was "performing a [[meme|meem]]" when a couple of guys who were up to no good started making trouble in his neighborhood, he performed the gentlemen "meem" flawlessly, but got in one little fight and his producer got scared when someone called him a fat nigger six times, and Tom again behaved like a pussy saying such lulzy phrases as, "I like meems," "meems are not cool after that," "[[shit nobody cares about|You try to help people out, you screw around with someone that likes meems and whatever..........]]" Lulz most certainly ensued and whoever performed this raid should be congratulated.

<s>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVwT1KAQiJs</s> BALEETED. 
<center>'''SKIP TO 0:20'''</center>
<center><youtube>s8VWuXjWgU4</youtube></center> 

Another [[dildo|Substitute]] vid for when Tom gets [[butthurt]] and [[DMCA]] everything on [[jewtube]], [[typical|again]]. [http://www.vidoemo.com/yvideo.php?i=YjMtYTBncWuRpZ0hLRDg&mad-tom-green-is-mad '''SKIP TO 6:20'''] 

===06/17/08 - DICK-ROLL'D===
On 6/17/08 at approximately 1:57 AM Eastern Tom Green met a 19 year-old caller on Skype with his brother playing WOW. Tom eventually gained the caller's trust and decided to let him stay on the air and let some callers in. The first caller shouted, a "meme" which is frowned upon in the #tomgreen community, "FAT NIGGER, FAT NIGGER..." The second caller asked him about a time when a snake bit Tom Green and he did a barrel roll. Right after Tom Green responded to the third caller, the Skype caller put on a [[Guy Fawkes]] mask and eventually started to [[fap]] on camera. Tom immediately shat bricks after spotting the mask. Also Tom got severely butthurt over a caller inquiring about Drew Barrymore. It is rumored he became [[An Hero]] by overdose after hearing of this and Victor will be taking over the show. Unfortunately, this is unlikely, as he has recently resurfaced from his living room to appear on NBC.

<s>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bHUSLT3VWMEs</s> BALEETED. 
===03/02/09 - Pizza Day===

[[Image:Dominoes.jpg|thumb|left|Fuck yeah, Domino's Pizza Tracker!]]

[[Image:receipt.jpg|thumb|right|Ordering pizza is fun.]]

On March 2nd, 2009, Tom Green decided to order pizza for his friends [[faggot|David Faustino and Corin Nemec]] from Pizzaland. #[[tomgreen]] quickly decided to order [[over 9000|a few]] pizzas, with a total cost of $79, to his house address. Tom receives the shitload of pizza live on his show and he begins to shit brix and claim that he never ordered the pizzas. But Tom, acknowledging this pranks high level of win, decides to eventually pay for and eat the pizza anyway.

* '''Call to Pizzaland:''' [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kI9Xj-lI2T4]

'''Tom's reaction:'''
<s>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bGYNOmdfNz8</s> BALEETED. 
===3/30/09 to 4/01/09 - Tom's Countertroll or Mental Breakdown?===

Starting on Monday. March 30th, Tom Green's House took an odd twist, involving extended sessions of piercing, atonal saxophone playing. The first night was a successful troll on Tom Green's part, he essentially tricked hundreds of viewers into watching/listening with the expectation that he was would stop and take calls. The real surprise came the next day when he did it all over again, this time ending with Mr. Green screaming obscenities to the effect of "[[ALL CAPS|I DON'T GIVE A FUCK]]". And again the next day, this time with accompanied by a [[shit nobody cares about|drummer from some band]]...

<center><youtube>b3-a0ggHKD8</youtube></center>

This caused much speculation as to why Tom Green would sabotage his own show, seeing as he just added a pay service and is obviously hurting for subscribers. The general consensus among anon is that he is trolling and/or driving the would be "prankers" away, though the video suggests that Tom Green has simply gone the way of the batshit insane. TG may win this round, but just how long can he fuck his show up before he alienates the few people that actually give a shit. Time will tell.

<center><youtube>_3mGkjqWENY</youtube></center>

===04/16/09 - Sushi bomb===

April 16th was looking to be a uneventful, skype-free day at Tom Green's House, TG had a small circle of friends on the show, including Warren G, a fatter version of Rob Schneider, a Bob Marley wannabe, and a fat nigger dubbed "saftey [sic] nigger". Everyone was drinking, Tom Green was singing karaoke, and the show went on commercial break every five fucking minutes, needless to say, Anon's morale was low.

Finally, hope appeared in the form of a [[tripfag]] named "[[User_talk:BBQ|BBQ]]" who said that he had ordered $450+ of sushi to Tom Green's house, and gave an ETA of 45 mins. Well, about 45 minutes later and still no sushi, with Tom Green taking breaks between every shitty karaoke song, anon was afraid that BBQ was an epic troll or the sushi would arrive while they were on break. TG kept saying goodbye to everyone and the show seemed to be over when Tom was mysteriously called to the front door. Anon collectively shat a brick whilst the whores and some douchebag continued dancing around to Guns and Roses. Then it appeared, a conspicuous cart was wheeled into Tom's hallway and the show was cut short without explanation. Everyone congratulated BBQ and plenty of screencaps, audio clips, and a video rapidshit were posted to Ebaums/IRC. An audio clip of Doctor_Mudkip calling the sushi place after the sushi had arrived was later posted, proving BBQ was not a troll, and that sushi is [[SERIOUS BUSINESS]].

About an hour later, TG reappeared wearing a pauper's hat and eating a [[cheeseburger]]. It appeared that he was not disturbed in the least by the sushi-bomb (which he did not mention), the [[Happycat|cheeseburger]] was evidence to the fact that he [[FAIL|did not end up paying for it]]. TG continued performing some more horrible karaoke, said he would take some calls (which he didn't), then took "a break". This break turned into a show's over when Hal started the video loop back up...

[http://tinypic.com/player.php?v=6ghpox&s=5 Crappy Quality, Sorry Guise - BBQ]

[[Image:Sushi_Call_Aftermath.ogg]] Call that went down afterwords - Doctor_Mudkip
<center><gallery>
Image:Tom Greens sushi cart.png|The cart in question.
Image:Drunk tom green.png|Tom's reappearance
Image:Tom Greens karaoke night.png|I did it maaaaiii wwwwaaaayyyy.
</gallery></center>

===4/21/09 - Tom get Meatspinned===

Someone looped some stickam camwhore on their skype feed, switched it to meatspin as soon as tom green answered the call.

<center><gallery>
Image:Tomgreen meatspin.png|Huh?
Image:Tomgreen meatspin2.png|Not sure if want?
Image:Tomgreen final meatspin.png|God damn it Hal, Turn it off!
</gallery></center>

===8/20/09 - Birthday Ladderroll===

Tom was going to kickstart his birthday by hosting an episode with a new developed "Skype Machine Team". Threads and irc channels were made on how people were going to troll his show, but only a few anons got through. The first offered to sing the fat nigger song, and the third chose to take a bath and gargle cum while on the air. The second anon however, Richard Waxner, was awarded nine internets and a nomination for troll of the year for putting on a charade for five minutes, and then masturbating on a ladder.

<center><youtube>mUCyHv3HtpM</youtube></center>

==Tom's Legal Reaction==
After being bombarded by pizza men, strippers, hookers, and most importantly [[faggot|people from Craigslist]] Tom Green decided to use [[internet law|legal action]] against [[4chan]]. He also claims to know about your [[IP address|HTML address]] and has hired several [[FBI|computer forensics]] personnel to help [[homosexuality|cleanse his show]].

{{quote|Also to the prankers out there. A quick note I wanted to pass along. I like you guys and your attitude. But anything that goes too far will be addressed legally. We have already been in touch with the Cyber crimes division of the FBI and we have a computer forensics expert now on the case. Any threats or illegal behavior will be prosecuted to the fullest extent. And guess what?! We are now able to obtain anybodies IP address. Even on supposed websites where you think those IP addresses are blocked... guess what? They are not. So lets keep it cool and have some fun, because I really don't want anyone to get into trouble because of our little show. I know sometimes when you are young you can end up making decisions in the moment that you later regret. Consider it a warning. We have a very serious computer forensics team on the case starting today. You will be found and prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. Keep it cool. Go prank CSpan and send me the tape. You guys rock! All of you! Even the guys at /B/... I love you guys. Funny shit.

TG}}

'''Tom Green's full blog post:''' [http://tomgreen.com/blog/?post=650]

== Tom vs [[The Donald|Don]] ==

[[Image:Tom's super ceral Outfit.jpg|thumb|right|Tom's super cereal outfit.]]

As of [[Last Thursday]] Tom tried to be a [[Uber|Super]] [[Awesome]] business guy on [[The Donald]]'s [[Fail|Epic]] show ''The Celebrity Apprentice''. Tom Epically Failed at this job and was [[OMGWTFBBQ|fired]].

Tom was supposed to lead a team on selling wedding dresses, but he thought that that was [[Why So Serious?|too cereal]], [[Faggot|and decided to wear the dresses instead]]. He was also supposed to lead a team of half-wits in decorating an empty room. The only black person on the team thought the only reasonable thing to do was invite some [[Hookers]] to the scene and eat fried chickens all day. Meanwhile, an [[Dyke|All Female]] team was selling All of the shit the Don told them to sell. Unfortunately the Don was still mad they got out of the kitchen, and gave them a good old fashioned pimp slap for it.

At the end of the day, the Don Evaluated the two teams. The [[women|wymen's]] team sold [[over 9000]] dollars worth of wedding dresses to [[Fat]][[Stupid]][[Americunt]]s. While the [[Otherkin|men's]] team sold under 90,000 dollars worth of silly cloth. The Wymen [[PARTY HARD|celebrated]] in the kitchen, while the men were in [[OH NOES|"The Board Room"]]. Tom knew he was going to be fired, so he blamed the only nigger on the team. They had a not so epic battle of fisty-cuffs, and in the end, [[Obama|the nigger won]]. Tom [[BAW|frowns]] on his [[EPIC FAIL|epic failure]], while the Don and the Nigra party with the Hookers that were seen earlier in the show. And nothing of importance was lost.[http://www.aceshowbiz.com/news/view/00022791.html]

===Tom Green's Resultant Butthurt===

The week immediately following the airing of ''[[Shit nobody cares about|Celebrity Apprentice]]'' was a bitter one. Tom Green asked [[Over 9000|all]] of his callers whether they watched [[No|Celebrity Apprentice]]. The callers hesitantly [[Liar|said "Yes"]] (and thought, "No, we're not a bunch of [[Irony|faggots]]"). This would immediately send Tom on a [[RAGE|level-headed, dignified monologue]] concerning [[BAWWWWW|his feelings]] about the show and its participants. He thanked the callers for calling, even though they didn't say anything, then continued to call [[The Donald|everyone associated with the show]] big meanies. His rant [[Large Hadron Collider|built up velocity without really going anywhere]], it reached its apex when he begin asking callers if they would let Jesse James give them a rimjob "cause that's what he does, [[amirite|right?]]" At this point Tom Green realized that he had made a royal ass of himself. He then addressed the camera, said he was just joking, and pleaded with Jesse James not to kill him...

Until he eventually started talking about it again and the embarrassing cycle began again, ad infinitum. No Tom, "rimjob" is only funny because it is offensive, it's over man, just let it go.

'''PROTIP:''' TOM ENJOYS TALKING ABOUT THIS!!! CALL HIM AND [[Troll|TELL]] HIM YOUR THOUGHTS ON THE MATTER.

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
File:tomgreenrage1.jpg
File:Tomjoker.jpg
File:Gentletom.jpg
</gallery></center>

==A Few Recorded Calls==

===Tom Green Show===
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4CaYzsQ0fkY&feature=related] [[bullshit|Tony Hawk did a barrel roll]]
*[http://s256.photobucket.com/albums/hh180/BlueKewne/Tom%20Green%20Show/?action=view&current=TomGreen4chan.flv] Madness? THIS! IS! 4CHAAAAAN!
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWA2z_KvBHk] <s>Tom Green gets goatse'd. <-- Pause at 1:07. How the fuck has [[JewTube|YouTube]] not removed this yet?</s> BALEETED.
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ouENoxLU7Jg] <s>Goatse'd again. Same thing, different anon.</s> BALEETED.
*[http://youtube.com/watch?v=8CiBCetM3b4] <s>Tom Green gets called a fat nigger, ends the show and says, and I quote, "No one will evar hear this, nevar again!!"</s> BALEETED AGAIN
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nv_Bst6eoaQ] Tom butthurt level reaches under 9,000 and threatens to take the prank callers to COURT.

===Girltalk===

*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwTocc_rXZ8]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-m3vQkdzky4] - For some reason, it hasn't been deleted.
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MeV4H3i7eMI]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L4pu4ThWJ_0]
*[http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=k0axle Some more archived Girl Talk raids]

==Links==
*[irc://irc.rizon.net/tomgreen The official Tom Green internets channel]
*[http://www.TomGreen.com Tom Green's Internet TV site and XXX gay porn]
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom_Green_(polygamist) Tom Green's Wikipedia article] According to TOW, he married a 13 year old girl, got her pregnant before she turned 14, and Tom Green was convicted of child rape.

{{4chan}}
{{Television}}
[[Category:TV Shows]]
[[category:people|Green, Tom]]
[[Category:Chans]]